The Final Chapter
Ben had gotten on the first plane back to New York at early dawn. His chauffeur sped for the apartment as Ben waited impatiently in the car, trying to call her to no avail. Had she changed her number? Had she blocked him? He called his secretary at eight in the morning, asking if he could call Sierra’s agency and have them contact him as soon as possible.
There was a flurry of snow as Ben got out of the car wearing only a thin suit, and a wrinkled one at that. He rushed to the apartment and opened it using his key, without bothering to knock.
“Sierra?”
The apartment was neat, just as she had left it. He walked for the bedroom and saw it was devoid of anything she owned. It was as if she had never existed, had never lived in the apartment. How could this be happening?
“Damn it,” he snapped.
How would he know where she was? New York had seven million inhabitants, at least. His only bet was the agency, but he had to wait. And he didn’t have the perseverance for it. In defeat, he went back to his townhouse to ‘rest for a few hours’ as he told his secretary.
He couldn’t rest, of course. He spent the remainder of the morning pacing up and down his place, checking emails to pass the time, calling his mother to tell her he had arrived safely in New York and was about to work. She didn’t ask him about Sierra, but he could hear the concern in her voice. Ben didn’t want to face them at all, not his mother or his grandmother or any of his relatives in the reunion. He suddenly wanted to see his father, but he decided against it. He would look defenseless with this situation, and that was something he didn’t want his father to see.
He decided to get to work, with no updates about Sierra’s whereabouts. He was getting antsy about it, and his staff could see he wasn’t in the mood for bad news. They all kept to themselves, knowing their boss was probably experiencing some creative difficulties.
He called Jemima. “Any update?”
“None, sir.”
“Thanks.” No thanks, he thought angrily. He was upset, and he was irrational. He was upset because Sierra had truly affected him. There was no other way to deal with it, which was why he wanted to meet up with her, so she would know how he felt.
How do I feel? My ego’s bruised, right? That is what I’m feeling.
“You don’t do this to the people you love,” her voice echoed in his head.
No, I can’t love her. It’s too soon. You need years for love, you need time and damned patience for love. He didn’t have those, right? He could never give that to anyone. He wouldn’t allow it. That was it, he wouldn’t allow it. Yet, little by little, he had. Without him realizing it, Sierra was there for him the whole time. She hadn’t had to put forth the effort to be nice to him.
She loves me, he grasped. All those times when she had been nice, it wasn’t because she was just a nice person. She’d wanted to get to know him better, and she had, yet she had taken all of his insults and brash behavior. She loved him.
It was a bittersweet thing to realize. All those little things she did for him, all that patience, it was all for him. And he had taken it for granted because his mind was solely concentrated on the fact that she was a contract at work. He had thought he would regret sleeping with her again, knowing it was going to make things worse for her, but it had also made things worse for him. He wanted her, needed her in his life, yet he didn’t know how to approach it.
It had been foolhardy to act like that toward her when she deserved someone loving. He remembered how he had thought that she was the kindest person he had ever met and how he had wished for her happiness and hoped the next man would love her with all he had after their contract had ended. Why couldn’t it be him? Of course it could have been him. But the damage had been done. This was no major car recall (and that had never happened in the company’s thirty year run). No one can recall emotions, no one can recall hurts, and he suddenly wished he could.
Sierra had done her job, and she had done it well. He didn’t even need the money he had spent on her if she’d reneged on the contract, if that could have been a way to make her stay. Would she have? If he had told her early on that he’d decided it was a stupid idea and that he would rather make things real between them?
I should be telling her this in person, he thought bitterly.
“Sir, I have the modeling agency on the line.”
Ben snapped from his reverie and grabbed the intercom as Jemima transferred the call to him.
“Mr. Eriksson? This is Denise Rivera. I understand you’ve been looking for Ms. Whittaker?”
“Yes.” Please know where she is. Please know where she is.
“She gave us a call yesterday saying she was feeling a bit under the weather. Was there supposed to be a shoot today for Huntley? Jemima could have called our manager—”
“It’s more of a personal nature,” he interrupted Denise. “Has she given an update on her address?” he asked.
“According to our current records, it’s at Caldwell Apartments, 1520 York Avenue.”
“I was there today. She’s moved out.”
“I’m sorry, sir, that’s all we have. We’ll try to call her for updates. May I ask what this is about?”
Ben was quiet for a while. “I’d like to date her. Thanks,” he finally said, putting down the phone.
On the other end of the line, Denise Rivera was perplexed. Wasn’t she dating the great Benjamin Eriksson already? She couldn’t wait to hear the gossip concerning the two of them soon.
Ben buried his face in his hands, overwhelmed by what he had done. He needed to talk to her for fear he might go mad if he couldn’t. He swore to himself he wouldn’t allow this to happen—work would be affected, his rational thinking would be sidetracked. All because of her. It was a new emotion he disliked immensely, not quite knowing how to handle it.
***
“Are you still feeling like crap?” Tyrone asked her as she woke up at past ten in the morning. “Well, you also look like crap.”
“Why are you awake? Didn’t you just get off of work at two in the morning?” Sierra asked him as she hugged a pillow.
Tyrone had been a sweetheart, allowing her to stay for the night (he said he didn’t mind if she stayed longer). They had shared the same bed, and he’d listened to her cry until she had fallen asleep.
“Work beckons this noon, honey,” he replied, busying himself with fixing his hair. He was wearing all black except for his hair and his earrings, which were a deep purple. “Are you just gonna mope around the whole day?” he asked, pursing his lips.
“I think I will.”
“Moping isn’t going to change things.”
“I read somewhere that it helps people get over the pain quickly.”
“Are you in that much pain?” Tyrone sighed, sitting on the bed. “Honey, you allowed this to happen to yourself. You were right; it was a win-win situation. He got the whole drama thing down with his family, and you got yourself a free ticket to goodies.”
Then why does it feel like I’ve lost? Sierra mused. It had only been two days, but it already felt like a month of emancipation from Ben, and it wasn’t an emancipation that made her happy. There were no more plans after France. It had all ended there. It had been an abrupt ending to her vacation, a vacation with him. There was no other purpose for that holiday except to fulfill the contract.
“You’ll help me find a job after the contract ends?”
“I’ll land you another job,” he assured her. “Didn’t you want a masters in human resource management, though?”
“I meant after I take that year-long course, you’ll still help me land a job?”
He nodded. “You have my word.”
At that moment, she didn’t care if he was true to his word or not. She didn’t want to see him anytime soon, didn’t want to see him for a long, long time. She had saved a good enough amount to keep a roof over her head, and she hoped more contracts were coming. The master’s degree would have to wait for now. Everything she had planned would have to wait for now.
Sierra wanted to stop thinking about him, but she couldn’t. It didn’t help that her phone had pictures of them smiling happily together, and for that brief moment, it had seemed real. And she didn’t want to delete the photos. She thought about him every hour, wondering if his family believed that lame exit she’d made. She was glad it had been nighttime; her skin was flushed, and she had clearly been uncomfortable with lying. Was he so adept at lying that she couldn’t spot it? Or was she that naïve?
“You can dance,” he murmured to her.
“What? You thought I could only dance hip hop?” she joked. His eyes were looking at her with a warmth she hadn’t seen until tonight.
She had told herself they were probably the most beautiful couple that gala night. And they danced so well together, it felt like they had been dancing together for a while. He had been so dashing, she had almost forgotten to breathe while she waltzed with him.
“Listen, I’m sorry I was upset,” Sierra began, “this whole thing is confusing me.”
“Sierra Whittaker, are you falling in love with me?” he grinned.
She flustered…
She should have told him she had fallen in love with him. It was too early to say it, right? People don’t fall in love at first sight, that was just stupid. Besides, falling in love at first sight meant you could fall in love everyday with just about anyone. She had wanted to be careful. She could have treated it like a business proposal. But at his insistence, he’d wanted it to seem real enough that even they would believe it themselves. She had fallen for it, gullible as she was, gullible enough to sign a silly contract to pursue small-town dreams.
There was one good thing to come out of all this, at least she didn’t owe him anything. The morning she had gotten back to New York, she immediately called her agency, saying she had gotten the flu while on vacation. Was that enough time for her to heal from her “fake” heartache?
Tyrone was right. She had allowed this to happen to herself. She had no way to undo it. It was a foolish notion to even think it could really happen. She had whacked his hand away for real. She had gotten hurt by what he’d said. It was true enough that he had to be a bit of an asshole.
I just wanted to use you this whole time.
What he had whispered to her that night reverberated in her ears, and she knew the hurt was real the moment she looked at his eyes. He had said that on purpose, to elicit genuine emotion from her. You don’t do that to people you love, she thought again.
Sierra had blocked Ben from calling her, knowing that the wounds were still fresh. Her vacation in France had suddenly turned into some distant, wonderful dream, it was almost unreal. Being with him was unreal. Had three months passed by so fast? Looking back, being with Ben had been a mixture of pleasure and pain.
Maybe I inflicted the pain on myself, she thought. Maybe I was so needy, and I needed to move on from Rushport and the memory of James. Maybe I thought I could be the do-it-all girl, graduating with honors and finding work with some deep purpose.
Whatever it was, it had landed her right here, feeling miserable. She felt that her passion for life had been washed away by the shores on Nice. She’d felt love from him, however fleeting it was. It wouldn’t last, of course. They had both signed the contract, and they were both willing for it to end as soon as it was over.
She had expected it to be this soon but not this painful.
*
It had been two weeks since they had last seen each other, since that intentional disaster in France. Sierra buried herself in work, grateful that contracts were piling on top of each other. She was glad the photoshoots for Huntley had ended, and she was careful to research the companies that hired her agency. None were connected to Ben Eriksson.
She would be having her first runway show soon for Dolce and Gabbana, and it had her in jitters. She had been practicing a lot, looking silly as she walked back and forth, her posture being critiqued. Tyrone had taught her to walk better, much to her delight.
The days were getting shorter and colder, and the first heavy snowfall began that day as she made her to way the warehouse for a photoshoot with an airline commercial. She had on a thick coat, the one Ben had gotten her. She had forgotten this detail, her thoughts preoccupied with the job at hand instead.
There was a wonderful set-up, and it was wonderfully warm as soon as she stepped into a hangar. There was a section of the plane on one end of the set. A few other models were there as well, getting made up.
“Sierra,” a familiar flamboyant voice rang out.
“Ty?” she said with a smile. “You got this gig?”
“Uh-huh,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.
That was strange. Tyrone was usually at the salon at this time, unless the salon had been tapped to do their hair and makeup.
“Lemme just finish her first,” he told her, getting back to a blonde model who was seated.
“Sure,” she said, knowing that she would be even more relaxed with Tyrone around. The warehouse was new, with heaters on all corners to stave off the cold. It could have easily fit two jumbo jets inside, yet it looked like any other studio set-up today with all the lights and assistants running about. She walked to a quieter corner and sat on a chair, knowing the makeup artist was going to start on her soon.
She watched as the first model began, in full flight attendant gear, and she found herself smiling, knowing she was almost as nervous as the neophyte in front of the cameras now. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She heard the shuffling of shoes, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes.
Then she felt someone staring at her. Her eyes opened, and right in front of her was a blond-haired, blue-eyed man who looked somber. He looked like he hadn’t slept well in weeks.
She didn’t say anything; he didn’t say anything. For a moment, they just looked at each other in silence, knowing there was so much to be said but there was no way to say it all at once.
“Why are you here?” Sierra began. Then she realized he owned the aircraft that needed the ads, or at least he partially owned it. She quickly stood up, determined to walk away from him. “Oh my god, oh my god, you set me up. You set me up—”
“I did this because I had to see you!” he uttered. He sighed deeply, his hands dropping to his sides. “I did this because I couldn’t stand not seeing you.” His voice was lower this time, defeated and tired.
“Is this why Tyrone is here? He’s in on this too?”
“It wasn’t easy. I had to call the previous agency after realizing your current agency was never going to hand in your address. You blocked me on your phone.”
“You deserve to be blocked.”
“You can unblock me. I went through this much effort to see you again.”
She was staring at him. He was screwing with her head again, wasn’t he? Just like before. He’d made her believe it was starting to get real, or rather, she had been stupid enough to think things could be real. “We shouldn’t be talking,” she said before she started to walk away. She was going to put this all behind her, move on from the fantasy.
He stopped her by holding onto her wrist, firmly but gently. She looked at him with angry eyes, and he saw they were clouding over.
“You are so easy to read,” he said, letting go of her wrist.
The asshole! He was making things worse, she thought. “Easy to read? Is that why you hired me to play the part of your girlfriend? Because you think I’m defenseless and I can’t think for myself?”
“Because I could see you already liked me, even before France.”
“Wh—” she was unable to finish her sentence.
He tried to smile, but it was a weak smile. “The whole contract thing, I don’t know if it was a mistake, but having that with you led me to something I never thought I could feel.”
Her mouth was drawn into a straight line. She took deep and quiet breaths, trying desperately to control her tears. “If I had known you owned this, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be here.”
“I took a chance. It was a long shot. Ty is a good person, just like you. He saw how I badly needed to see you, and he helped me.”
“To what? Hurt me again?” she snapped.
“You weren’t the only one who was hurt…”
“It doesn’t change anything. I was a fool, that’s what I’ve realized. I thought it would help me. I mean, it did financially. But that contract, those terms, it tore me apart.”
“It tore me up, too, more than you know!” he said.
“I didn’t want to go through with the contract anymore. My pride got in the way, though, because I couldn’t pay you back. I wanted that master’s, and I wanted to be successful in New York. I wanted to live in a neat apartment and eat proper food, all for my ego, huh? But it’s a funny thing. I signed that contract because there was the briefest moment that I imagined you’d end up liking me. I bet you were thinking ‘for someone who’s supposedly smart, she sure seems dumb,’ am I right? It’s true, I felt dumb. How could anyone love someone in three months? Especially when all you did was ignore how I felt. You were selfish; you’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met. But Ben, let me just say this before we never see each other again. I love you, and I’m not ashamed of it. What I’m ashamed of is that I didn’t have the courage to tell you earlier.”
Ben was staring at her, his eyes softened. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
“Sierra, those three months together, even if the dates were planned, I enjoyed those dates. You were the best thing after those long working hours. I loved seeing you smile. I loved seeing how naïve you were. I enjoyed showering you with gifts because you deserve them. The night of the ball, I had never seen anyone as beautiful as you. It was a mistake to act like an asshole around guys I don’t even trust. It was immature of me. And you have no idea how sorry I was for that. But I’m even sorrier now, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I knew you had fallen for me, and I denied falling for you. But it happened, and I didn’t want to go through it. I had fears, no matter how small or stupid-sounding it seemed. In Nice, I fell for you even more when I heard you sing. How could I have not known about this? Maybe because I didn’t pay attention to you. I was solely concentrated on myself. But when you were singing, for that briefest moment, I felt the song you chose was about us. I hope I’m not wrong. Sierra, I’m not a nice person; I get annoyed easily, and I have minimal tolerance for emotions that go beyond what is expected of me.”
“You set those expectations yourself,” Sierra spoke. “No one made you act the way you act.”
“It’s true. And it took me years to realize that. It took me two months to realize you’re the one for me.”
“What if I’m not the one for you, Ben?” she asked. “I’m no socialite. I’m not cultured enough. We’re too different.”
“We laughed together. That counts for me. You listen to me, and I need to keep up with this newfound change of me listening to you.”
“You make it sound like it’s a decision you’re ready to stand by. We’ve only been together for a total of three months. It was a fake relationship. Give me time to heal, I need to get used to this.”
“Why do you need to heal? I’m here. And I’m here to tell you that I’d like it to be real this time.” He swallowed.
“You’d what?”
“You heard me, Sierra Whittaker. I’m going against my pride, I’m going against expectation. But I’m going to do this because of you. You’re not the only one who’s in love.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her heart was pounding. He took a step closer and he reached for one hand, holding it in his own. His palm was sweaty, and he breathed in heavily. “I’m not asking you to believe every word I’m saying. I won’t ask you to sign another contract to prove you’ll stay with me for the duration specified. You’re too good for me, and I’m proud to say you are. I’m going to do everything to win you.”
“What are you willing to do?”
“Go on unplanned dates, depending on your schedule. Take you to places you’ve never been to before. I won’t get jealous when guys ask to have photos with you. I’ll let you hold the remote and give you free reign over the channels—”
“Stop,” Sierra said harshly.
He had said something wrong. He was too honest. Suddenly, he couldn’t read through her. Had she had enough of him finally? This was harsher than the end of the contract. He felt that he couldn’t take the rejection from her. It couldn’t end like this. He didn’t say anything else.
“Ben, for someone who isn’t romantic, you’ve said a lot of romantic stuff…”
He looked up, a faint smile forming on his lips.
“We’re going to have to work on a few things,” she began.
“Go on,” he prodded.
“You’ll do your best to listen to me, and you’ll lessen being a hothead.”
“Noted.”
“And you’ll come clean with your parents, especially your mother and grandma about us.”
“That’s been done already.”
This surprised Sierra. “Why did you do it?”
“I had to face what I felt. And my mother proved to be the best listener. She didn’t say anything about what I should do. I had to face it, and it was quite challenging because I’m not adept at this. But I did. And I’m glad. To know that I love you is the greatest gift I could give to myself, and to know you love me is an even greater gift. You changed my world, Sierra Whittaker.”
Sierra looked down at her shoes. Then she looked into his eyes. “I hope I get to rock your world,” she said with a smile.
“You already have.” He grinned. “I’m going to be a work in progress, Sierra. But I’ll give it my all.”
“I’m a work in progress, too, “Sierra told him, taking a step forward.
She found Ben holding onto both hands now. “So you really were desperate to see me, huh?”
“I’m sure you were, too,” Ben said with a smile.
“That obvious? I was doing my best.”
“You’re a terrible actress, and for that I’m glad.”
She laughed, but he cut her off with a kiss. “I’d like to have this every day for the rest of my life, if you don’t mind,” he said, pausing from the kiss.
She smiled, not saying anything, and kissed him back.
THANKS FOR READING!
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