The moment Patrick slid the door open that evening Tash was kissing him. Within seconds, they were backing into the bedroom, laughing at their excitement, hands greedy and roving.
‘So,’ said Tash, curling up afterwards to what was rapidly becoming her favourite spot under his arm against his chest, ‘how was your day?’
‘Okay. Yours?’
‘A bit trying.’
He lifted his head slightly off the pillow to look at her.
Tash sighed and toyed with his chest hairs. She really liked his chest. It was manly and sexy, and fun to play with. He had nice nipples too. Not that she’d ever found a man’s nipples particularly appealing before, but Patrick’s were small and firm and she liked the way they pebbled when she teased him.
‘Pa was insufferable. Couldn’t stop grinning and telling me how thrilled he was. In the end I got snappy and told him off, which made him all huffy and grumbly about ungrateful granddaughters. Then Mum came over while I was riding Khan this afternoon and kept asking questions she already knew the answers to, when it was pretty obvious that the real question she wanted to ask was how serious it was between us. And Dad …’ She sighed again. ‘He was fine. Just nodded and said as long as I was happy.’
‘Dad just nodded at me too,’ said Patrick, drawing circles on her shoulder with his finger. ‘But Mum was like yours, bursting to say something. In the end I put her out of her misery and said I’d be stopping with you again tonight.’
‘What did she say?’
‘She made this funny noise and her eyes went bright. Then she said “I’m so pleased” in this choked-up voice, then muttered something about a cold and rushed off to blow her nose.’
‘What did you do?’
She felt his shrug. ‘Followed her and gave her a hug. Told her I loved her, even if she was a silly duffer.’
Tash continued to caress his chest and belly. Patrick had a nice stomach too, hardened and lean from footy and work. ‘They’re really happy for us, aren’t they?’
‘Seems like it.’
She closed her eyes. ‘It’s nice, but also a fair bit of pressure.’
‘Pressure?’
‘We’re carrying their expectations as well as our own. Not that I have any,’ added Tash quickly.
The finger circles stopped.
Tash shifted to look at him. ‘What?’
For a fleeting moment she thought she caught hurt in Patrick’s eyes, but a smile covered it so fast she couldn’t be certain. ‘You’re worrying about nothing.’ He hoisted her up onto his chest and kissed her. ‘I have big shoulders. I can take their expectations and more.’
She traced her hands over said shoulders, hoping he didn’t mind her full weight stretched out and pressing on him. Tash wasn’t a petite girl. ‘I like your shoulders.’ She ran her hands down his rocklike biceps. ‘I like these too.’ Tash felt his cock firming and wriggled against it, grinning. ‘As for that bit, I like that a lot.’
Patrick rolled her onto her back. ‘Just as well.’
‘And why would that be, hmm?’
‘That would be,’ he said, nuzzling her neck, ‘because it can’t get enough of you.’
Tash closed her eyes and wallowed in his attentions. Right now she couldn’t get enough of Patrick. He was wonderful—skilled, affectionate, fun. Loving. She ached for him everywhere, outside, inside, all over. But most of all she prayed for this to be real.
It could be. She truly believed, but there were things to sort out, for herself especially. The Urban Ranger’s future was still undecided and for all she knew this could be just sex for him. Sex with plenty of affection, maybe even gratitude, but still sex. Until he said otherwise, she’d keep that in mind.
Tash might be falling in love, but she wasn’t about to let that make her stupid. There was too much beyond her heart at stake.
Dinner was grilled steaks with béarnaise sauce, triple-cooked handcut chips and green salad. With their bellies satisfied and the dishes done, Tash snuggled up to Patrick on the couch with the last of her wine, and Friday-night football on the television with the sound turned low.
Patrick kept his arm around her, occasionally bending to kiss her hair. It was such a cosy, sweet moment that Tash didn’t want to spoil it by embarrassing him but she’d delayed enough.
‘So …’ she said, easing out of his embrace to lean her elbow on the back of the couch and rest her cheek on her chin. ‘Want to tell me about Farmer Fred?’
Patrick slumped back with the heels of his palms dug into his forehead and groaned. After a couple of breaths, he slid them free and looked at her. ‘How long have you known?’
‘Not long. A few days.’
‘How’d you figure it out?’ He waved the question off. ‘Don’t answer that. I can guess. Thom.’
‘Yes.’
A muscle in his jaw flexed but, wisely, he made no crack about Thom. Instead he focused on her face, sweeping his gaze over it as if hoping to read her mood. Tash kept her expression neutral.
‘You’re angry,’ he said.
‘No. But I would like to know why.’
He stared at the television for a moment, then rubbed the top of his thighs. ‘It started out as a way to keep an eye on you with Khan. I needed to know when you were riding so I could make sure you wore a helmet. You put everything online. Seemed the easiest way to find out.’
It was a fair enough excuse but that didn’t explain the ongoing deception. Farmer Fred’s interactions went beyond checking up on Tash with Khan. They were intimate. Flirty. He’d called her gorgeous, and when she’d mentioned her date he said he’d bet the bloke was crazy about her. A bloke that was actually him. Words that could be either honest or as false as his avatar and profile. Tash desperately hoped for the former.
‘Why not use your real name?’
‘I didn’t want you working out what I was up to. If I’d started all of a sudden following all your accounts, you would have known. So I made up a different user for each one.’
Tash’s eyes widened. ‘There’s more than Fred?’
‘I never talked to you with the others. Just, kind of …’ He winced as though realising how bad this sounded. ‘… watched.’
Tash shook her head. Unbelievable. At least he had the good grace to look abashed.
‘So why start talking to me as Fred?’
‘I didn’t mean to. It just happened. Anyway, you contacted me, remember? Asking if I’d like to be interviewed or whatever it was.’
She’d forgotten that.
‘It went on from there.’ Patrick edged onto his hip so he was facing her and took her hand. ‘I never meant to lie to you. It’s just that when I was Fred I could be someone else.’ He dropped his head to look at their linked fingers. ‘Someone you might like.’
‘I like you as Patrick Lawson. I’ve always liked you. You know that.’
‘Not the same.’ He looked up, frowning. ‘It was like every time I saw you I was at my worst. I hated it.’
‘You were going through a pretty hard time. I understood that. It didn’t make me think anything less of you.’
He shook his head, frustrated by either her lack of comprehension or his inability to articulate his feelings. ‘I never made you laugh. Fred did.’ He was quiet a second. ‘As him I could say all the things I wanted to say without worrying about looking like a tool. Everything came so easy. I wanted to be that easy with you in real life but I could never get it to work.’
Tash smiled. ‘You have now.’
‘I hope so. I love hearing you laugh.’
‘I love hearing you laugh too.’
Patrick cupped her cheek and kissed her tenderly, then pressed his forehead against hers, eyes sparkling. ‘You have any of that chocolate sauce left?’
‘No.’
‘Bugger.’
‘I have something better.’
‘And that would be?’
Tash grinned. ‘Undress and I’ll show you.’