Tink
Having Sinner home felt amazing after he got home from his trip and our out of this world reunion, we slept all night. When he was away, I couldn't sleep that well. But that night knowing he was beside me, brought me a sense of piece. He loved the house the way I had decorated it down to the sizes of the towels; we even christened every room in the house Saint's room included. I was back to work, and life was getting back to where I wanted it to go when Lilly walked into the break room.
“Tink you’re coming to the doctor with me tomorrow right,” Lilly asked
“For what?”
“Hello, I've made the appointment to get my bar out” I look at her.
“You’re doing it now, so soon” she nods.
“Stryker and I have talked about it, why wait until later when we both want it now” I'm shocked but not really, I knew it was coming just not so soon.
“Wow, ok what time tomorrow.”
“Don't worry I have an early appointment and you don't have anyone coming in until two.”
“Don't you want Stryker to go instead of me” even though I want to I know that being a newlywed they are still in the honeymoon bubble
“No, I haven't told him yet.”
“LILLY,” I say a bit shocked
“What?” she says
“Why haven't you told him” she shrugs her shoulders.
“I have he just doesn't know the appointments tomorrow.”
“Why not?”
“I don't know, what if the doctor tells me there’s something wrong with me and I can't have kids, Stryker really wants them and..” she stops, and I see tears in her eyes.
“Hey,” I say pulling her to me “You’re going to be fine,” I tell her.
“But what if.”
“Hey no, what if's ok, your healthy young and there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Ok,” she says smiling “Thanks, Tink.”
“That's what sisters are for right,” I tell her and she smiles bigger.
“Yeah”
“Good now go on we've still got a job to do” she stands up and salutes me.
“Yes ma'am” I laugh as she walks back out the front.
**
As we sit in the doctor’s office, I feel nervous not for me but for Lilly and the fact I hate doctors “Will you stop” she says to me, and I look at her
“What?”
“Hello with the leg bouncing” I look down at my leg, and it's bouncing up and down fast
“I didn't even notice sorry” she shakes her head.
“What is it with you and doctors,” she asks, and an image of Mrs. Johnson standing behind me in the doctor’s office pinching me hard. Not to say how I'd gotten the broken arm she gave me, or the stitches or the cuts or the dislocated arms. She'd always beat me because she had to take me to the doctor, so going to any doctor brings on a state of horror for me “Tink are you ok” Lilly asks bringing me out of my memories, but I just smile nodding
“I'm good just hate the doctors,” I tell her and she pats my legs.
As we sit there I feel sick again and run to the bathroom and throw up, Lilly right behind me when a nurse appears behind us “Is everything ok ladies” I nod the embarrassment making me feel stupid I'd stopped throwing up when Sinner came back but yesterday and today I felt sick again.
“All good just a bit sick,” I say, and Lilly looks at me
“How long have you been sick,” she asks, and her and the nurse look at me
“Just a couple of days.”
“Why didn't you say anything.”
“Because it's no big deal, I was only sick a few times when Sinner was away. It was the stress of him being away that's all” I tell her.
“When were you sick, you were ok when you came into work.”
“It was just in the morning no big deal” I watch Lilly, and the nurse look at each other
“What?” I ask them
“Um, Tink maybe you should see the doctor too,” Lilly says
“Why would I see the doctor,” I ask confused, the nurse smiles at Lilly leaving us alone (ok what the hell was that look for)
“Um Tink are you sure you’re not pregnant,” she asks, and I laugh at her.
“Hello I have the bar in to or did you forget” she shuffles her feet from side to side.
“Yeah but it's not 100%” I roll my eyes at her.
“Lilly I'm not pregnant,” I tell her.
“Than what's the harm,” she says
“Fine, I'll see the stupid doctor ok” I wash up and head back out to the waiting room.
*
“Well Miss McKinnon, your pregnant” I choke on my spit that had become lodged in my throat, Lilly holds my hand, and I shake my head (this can't be happening) “Miss McKinnon are you ok” the doctor asks (am I ok fuck no you just told me I'm pregnant) I shake my head not wanting to deal with this
“Tink,” Lilly says, but I just get up and walk out and just keep walking (I can't be a mother I can't) My phone rings over and over, so I just turn it off, after I left the doctor’s office. I just walked until I came to the ocean and just stopped, I sat there for so long staring out at the huge body of water. It was late November, and it was really cold now, the wind whipping at my face so I sat in a small alcove shielded by the wind and cried (I can't) was all that went through my head (I'm not ready) Sinners face kept flashing through my mind, will he be happy or will he be really mad, what if he thinks I trapped him. I sit there for so long when the sun slowly sets behind the clouds, and the wind picks up. The winter chill really starts to take hold, and I know I have to go home.
As I walk up the street to the house Sinner and I share, there are cars and bikes in the drive (shit maybe I should have answered my phone). As I open the front door, everyone turns around. I stop looking at everyone, Lilly runs forward hugging me so tight “Are you ok” she whispers, and I nod and catch the eyes of Sinner who looks pained but angry, he walks towards us, and Lilly lets me go
“Where. The. Fuck. Have. You. Been” he says every word through gritted teeth, and I look at Lilly (shit did she tell him), but she gives a slight shake of her head telling me he doesn't know
“I needed a walk,” I tell him
“For eight fuckin’ hours, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” he yells at me, and I jump, he steps forward, but I go to step back, but he grabs me pulling me to him and holding me so tight. I hear everyone in the room move, Sinner blocks my view, and the front door opens and closes. I know where all alone now, he pulls back as tears run down my face and he wipes them away with his thumb “Where have you been?” he asks me this time softer more worry to his tone
“I needed a walk,” I say again, and I can feel the anger build as he steps back giving us some room
“Why?” he says through his teeth, but I just look at him (is he going to be happy)
“I just...”
“Don't Tink, don't fuckin’ lie, just tell me where you've been” I take a deep breath.
“I was at the beach” he stands up straighter.
“Why?” I'm feeling so tired and not in the mood for this, I go to walk to our room “I said why?” he asks again, and I stop my heart in my mouth, and I feel sick again, I run to the bathroom and throw up over and over until my dry heaves hurt my throat raw. Sinner comes up behind me helping me up holding me so tight “I thought you left me” he says on a whisper, and I hold him tight and just cry, he picks me up and takes me to our bed stripping me down to my underwear and climbing in bed with me holding me tight “Baby tell me what's wrong please, you starting to freak me out” I try to talk but my hiccups take over, and I just can't stop as I cry harder and harder, him holding onto me as sleep takes me to dreamland. I dream of babies crying crapping babies everywhere and every time I turn around theirs another one there of all kinds red hair black hair brown hair black, white Asian babies all crying so loud it's deafening, and I scream so loud and wake up sweating my heart rate beating so fast
“Baby you ok” Sinner asks as he turns the light on and I squint with the light, I try to catch my breath, but I run to the bathroom and try to throw up again but my stomachs empty so I dry heave “Tink” Sinner says behind me holding onto my hair, I sit down and rest against the bathtub and Sinner gets a wash cloth kneeling in front of me “Tink what the fuck your starting to really freak me out, maybe we should go to the doctor” I lean my head back (the doctor) I shake my head closing my eyes “Tink” he says sterner this time, and I look at him “Tell me now what the fuck is going on” I stand up and brush my teeth, Sinner stands behind me the whole time staring at me. His arms folded and his posture ridged making him tower over me more, I wash my mouth out and head out to the kitchen suddenly feeling hungry. Sinner follows me the whole time not saying anything as he watches me make a huge sandwich, I eat the whole thing and Sinner just watches “Well” he says, and I look at him, I bite my lip not sure what I should say but he just stares at me (just tell him) I take a deep breath and look at him
“Sit,” I say, but he just stands there “Please,” I say softly, and he moves toward the kitchen table, and I sit next to him
“Tink if you’re about to tell me that it’s over I’m fuckin’ telling you now it’s not, it never will be,” he says looking straight at me I shake my head and sit next to him
“I went to the doctor with Lilly today,” I tell him and he just stares at me
“I know that,” he says, “Lilly told me.”
“What else did she say?”
“That you were both at the doctors and you took off” I let out the breath I was holding and bite my lip, the words stuck in my throat “Tink,” he says again, and I look down at my hands nervously (just tell him)
“I'm pregnant,” I say really softly
“What did you just say?” I feel my heart rate pick up and the sandwich I just ate starts to repeat on me, and I run to the bathroom again and throw up
****
Sinner
I'm not sure I heard her right (did she say she was pregnant) I sit at the table in complete shock not sure if I heard her correctly (yes, she said she was pregnant) I don't know how to feel, I've gone completely numb (pregnant, Tink's pregnant) no she didn't say that. I hear her throwing up again and run down to the bathroom, where she's face down in the toilet. I grab a face cloth and put it behind her neck, as she stops and leans on the toilet seat “Baby get up” I tell her, but she shakes her head
“Not yet” she leans forward throwing up again (fuck) I watch as she throws up until nothing is left and she's so weak she can't even lift her head
“Tink” she holds up her hand “I don’t feel normal,” she says throwing up again
“Baby,” I say and lifting her up, her head hangs to the side “Tink” I say, but she doesn’t move “Baby” I give her a shake “Tink” I say still nothing “Baby wake the fuck up” I start to panic her lulls to the side (fuck) I pick her up and take her out to my truck and head towards the emergency room she still doesn’t wake, and I put my foot down
*
“I NEED HELP” I yell as I carry her through the doors, I watch as she’s placed on a bed and doctors and nurses surround her.
“Sir you’ll have to wait in the waiting area,” a nurse says, and I look at my woman
“No, she needs me,” I tell her
“You can’t do anything for her.”
“No, she…”
“You’ll only be in the way of the doctors who are treating her” I nod and walk back out to the reception area pulling out my phone.
“What the fuck Sinner,” Saint says as and I hear a woman moan
“Saint I need you,” I tell him almost crying
“Shut the fuck up,” he says “What's wrong?”
“Tink’s in the hospital,” I tell him.
“On my way,” he tells me
*
I hang up, and twenty minutes later he walks through the hospital doors “What's going on” he asks pulling me in for a hug
“I think Tink's really sick,” I tell him
“Why what happened?” he asks looking nervous and worried.
“She's pregnant,” I tell him and he looks shocked
“No fuckin’ way” I just nod.
“Why are you here, what happened?”
“She kept throwing up then passed out; I couldn’t wake her man what if I lose her.”
“Sinner just relax she’s gonna be fine” I look at him tears in my eyes.
“Saint”
“She’s gonna be fine,” he tells me, just then the doctor comes walking out, and we both stand up
“KC McKinnon,” he says
“How bad is she” I ask him
“She’s a little dehydrated; we’ve put her on a drip she should be fine after a few hours” I take a deep breath
“And the baby.”
“The heart beat is strong, so the little one seems fine, we’ve booked her in to see the OB/GYN in a few days but other than that she’s fine she just needs to rest and let her body get used to what it was designed for” I look at him
“So, she’s good” he smiles and nods.
“Yes, she’s fine and asking for you.”
As I make my way to her room, the second I see her all the worried tension I had disappears “Baby,” I say sitting on the side of her bed and she smiles
“I’m sorry, I worried you,” she says, and I pull her hands up, so she cups my face and breath her in
“I’m just glad you’re ok, baby, I was so worried,” I tell her.
“What happened?” she asks.
“You passed out.”
“God, I remember throwing up and…...” she looks at me.
“Yeah you told me your pregnant” she closes her eyes and a tear slides down her face and I wipe it away leaning in and kissing her “Tink” she keeps her eyes closed “Look at me baby” she opens her eyes and looks up at me “I love you” I tell her, and she turns her head away, and more tears fall, I turn her head back, so she looks at me “Hey what are all of these tears” I ask her.
“I don’t want you to think I trapped you.”
“Baby you’re not that sort of person, it was gonna happen, we just weren’t expecting it now that’s all” she frowns at me.
“What do you mean it was gonna happen” I laugh
“Baby we were gonna end up having kids in the future,” I tell her not wanting her to think that I don't want the baby
“You wanted kids with me,” she asks, and I lean down forehead to forehead
“Baby, I want everything with you, marriage kids everything,” I tell her placing my hand on her belly “Our baby,” I tell her, and she smiles.
“Our baby” she repeats and I pull her to me and kiss her.