Is it possible to love two men at once? It had been a week since I’d let myself admit that I loved Carson. The two sides of my heart felt like they were in a wrestling match. I still loved Quinn, but it wasn’t with my whole heart anymore. Without even realizing it, I had let Carson in. I had let him steal a piece of my heart.

I sat in the lobby of Dani’s and my favorite restaurant, waiting for her. I had needed to get out of the apartment, but other than work, I hadn’t left since the day I fought with Quinn, and it was making me crazy. I constantly replayed the events of the last few months, trying to figure out where it had all gone so wrong. How I had let everything spiral out of control? Was Derek right? Had I married the wrong person? Had I always loved Carson? A small part of me thought I had always loved him, from the very beginning. I smiled as I thought about the first time we met.

It had been my third or fourth date with Quinn. I had reluctantly agreed to go tailgating at an Oregon football game with him. Quinn had gone to the bathroom, and I was standing awkwardly off to the side of the group that had gathered. I didn’t know anyone else and knew nothing about football. I really liked Quinn and didn’t want to embarrass him by saying the wrong thing.

“You must be Quinn’s new girl?” I spun around and saw Carson for the first time. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he ran a hand through his hair and looked me up and down. I didn’t say anything … was I Quinn’s new girl? “I’m Carson.” He stuck out his hand, and I shook it.

“Chloe.”

“Chloe,” Carson said and draped an arm around my shoulders. I saw Quinn coming toward us, but Carson didn’t remove his arm, instead leaning in closer.

“If you ever get sick of Quinney-Boy and decide you want a real man, come find me,” he said loud enough for Quinn to hear.

“Get off, man,” Quinn said as he slapped Carson’s arm off my shoulders. “Chloe, I see you met Carson. My idiot best friend.”

“Hey, just giving the lady options,” Carson laughed.

“Chloe,” Dani’s voice snapped me out of my daze. I looked up and saw her standing right in front of me. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was a nightmare.”

“It’s okay … I haven’t been here long.”

When we were seated at a booth in the corner, and our orders had been taken, I said, “I know the answer to your question.”

“Oh?” Dani took a drink of her beer. “This should be interesting. So, what’s the answer … why did you do it?”

“I love Carson,” I sighed.

“Are you sure?” Dani looked shocked.

“Yes. Carson, damn him, weaseled his way in, and somewhere along the way, I fell for him. I didn’t want to admit it, because then I had to admit that it wasn’t just sex, that I had betrayed Quinn on every level possible.”

“You still love Quinn?”

“I’ll always love Quinn, but it doesn’t matter … he’s moving out tomorrow.” I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye; I wasn’t going to cry about it here. I’d shed more tears than I had imagined possible since Quinn called and told me he wanted a divorce. I had begged him to reconsider, told him I’d do anything to make it right, but nothing I said made any difference.

“Oh, Chloe.” Dani put her hand on top of mine. I shook my head.

“It’s okay, this is what I deserve,” I said. “I couldn’t just be happy with what I had. I had to have more. I had to live out my fantasies, no matter the cost.”

“How could you have known having a threesome would lead to this?” God bless her. Dani was trying so hard to be supportive and make me feel better, when all I wanted was to wallow in my own grief. I didn’t feel like pointing out that I did know. After the first time, I knew nothing would ever be the same; I knew what would happen if we went down that road again, but I did it anyway. “What are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?” I looked up from my drink. Dani was looking at me with sad eyes, an expression I’d never before seen on her face. I frowned; my sadness was rubbing off on her, and I didn’t like it.

“Do you want to be with Carson?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I said. “I’ve been with Quinn for a long time. I don’t know how to have a relationship with someone else.”

Our food came, and neither of us said anything for a few minutes.

“Thank you for listening to me and not judging me. I know your feelings about cheating, and I appreciate you keeping them to yourself while I figure this all out.”

“Look, I hate what you did to Quinn—nothing you say about loving Carson or anything else will ever change that—but we were friends first, and nothing will ever change that.”

“I hit the best friend jackpot with you.” I smiled.

“Well, duh,” Dani laughed. “I’ve been telling you that for years.”