She could do this.
Looking up into the deep blue eyes of the man she loved, India wanted to try.
If she froze—if she lashed out and scratched at him, Gabriel would understand. He’d be patient with her.
He understood her.
He loved her.
No more holding back. She thought of the seagull she’d seen outside Gabriel’s window and how she’d envied the bird’s freedom to soar. Nobody was holding her back, least of all Gabriel. India was doing that and it was time she stopped.
‘Yes,’ she whispered as a self-affirmation. Such a little word, carrying a mountain of meaning. ‘I love you, Gabe. I trust you.’
Relief broke over his features as he cupped her face in his hands and lowered his head slowly and deliberately. There was a promise in his eyes—a promise to cherish her.
Anticipation escalated through her and her pulse pounded at the base of her throat. The sense of intimacy between them increased as her breath mingled with his.
‘We’ll take it slowly, darling.’ He whispered the promise.
He used his teeth to nip gently at the fullness of her lower lip before his tongue tip swept over the spot in a soothing action. Then his tongue delved deeper to tangle and dart with hers in an erotic foray she found tantalising and incredibly seductive.
Gabriel meshed his long fingers into the golden curtain of her hair. Fingertips massaging against her skull, he urged her to tilt her head so he could gain greater access to the sensitive flesh at the column of her throat.
Lifting her hand to his cheek, trailing her fingertips hesitantly over the roughness of the stubble at his jawline, India was thrilled at the masculine-feminine differences between them. The thought of those differences caused a curl of sexual tension low in her pelvis and she increased the intensity of her responses, kissing him back with fierce demand to communicate the fervent desire swamping her.
True to his promise, he was in no hurry. It was an all-out campaign to drug her senses into a state of sweet bliss as he kissed her with a savouring sensuality that made her press her chest closer to his and wrap her arms up around his shoulders.
Gabriel shifted her so she sat across his thighs.
Held securely against his solid strength, their kisses deepened—became hungrier, more demanding. But as he demanded with his mouth, so he gave with his hands. They trailed down her sides, and around her back, searing her with their touch.
‘Raise your arms, darling,’ he instructed.
She did as he bade and her heart kicked as he whisked her silk nightie up over her head and looked down at her, admiring her breasts. Then, in one fluid motion, he got up from the bed with her in his arms and set her on her feet on the floor so she stood in front of him. Her matching pink panties were skimmed off her body with sure hands and fell in a pool of silk at her feet. She would’ve expected to have felt shy with him, but his look of sheer appreciation made her feel gloriously precious and wholly feminine. The way his gaze lingered on the region at the juncture of her thighs made her aware of her body dampening there.
She shivered.
‘Cold?’ he asked.
‘No. I think it’s nerves.’
‘Remember, communicate with me, sweetheart.’
He shrugged out of his dark-blue bathrobe, and revealed his perfectly proportioned physique. She was grateful she hadn’t pulled the curtains closed before she’d gone to bed—grateful for the full moon outside which outlined the powerful, muscular planes of his naked torso. Her gaze drifted lower to rest just above his thickly hewn thighs. The jut of his manhood in his dark boxer shorts was unashamedly blatant. It was simultaneously thrilling and threatening to her, and her mouth was suddenly as dry as the Sahara.
When did he have the time to work out? she wondered vaguely. There’s no way he’d possess such a body without a daily gym session.
‘Come closer.’ His voice was gravelly. His need stamped on every feature as she moved closer and he pulled her very slowly against his heated, naked flesh.
Excitement roared through her.
Oh God! As much as she wanted to put a little distance between their bodies so she could feast her eyes on his nakedness, having skin-to-skin contact with him was divine.
The dusting of fine dark hair that covered his chest abraded her sensitive nipples; the hard planes of his chest a perfect contrast to the soft fleshy mounds of her breasts.
Wanton, wild desire poured through her, washing away all her fears and doubts. Her body was brilliantly alive, aching for a fulfilment she couldn’t even relate to. Hands that had been tentative now clutched at Gabriel’s shoulders. They were eager to explore—to learn the contours of his body—to commit his magnificent body to her tactile memory.
His hands were on her back, shaping her to him—confidently yet gently. One hand lowered to her naked buttocks. He shifted and her heart jumped in alarm as his powerful erection pressed through his boxers and against the soft flesh of her abdomen.
India stilled as desire was drenched by cold fear.
‘Open your eyes, India,’ Gabe told her.
Her eyelids flicked up and she looked directly into his intense regard. ‘Keep looking at me.’ Her gaze didn’t leave his as he took her hand and brought it between their bodies. ‘Touch me there.’
Her palm rested on his penis through the fabric of his underwear. It was the part of the male anatomy she feared—the one she knew should bring her pleasure even though her only experience of it had caused pain. For a second she closed her eyes.
‘Don’t close your eyes, sweetheart, keep looking at me.’
‘Gabe.’ Saying his name helped quell the inner panic which started to rise.
‘I won’t hurt you, India,’ he promised. ‘Trust me.’
‘I do.’
‘Do you feel comfortable lying back on the bed for me? I’ll be careful. I’m not going to put any weight on you. Tonight, I just want to make love to you.’
When she nodded, he lifted her effortlessly into his arms once again and moved the two paces to the king-sized bed with an athlete’s grace. Setting her down gently, he looked at her with such bone-melting intensity she almost forgot to draw her next breath. She felt the dip of the bed as he kneeled beside her body, then he was reclining alongside her—lowering his head to deliver more drugging kisses.
‘I’m only going to bring you pleasure, darling,’ he whispered against her lips.
He proceeded to make good on his vow, covering her face with tiny, reassuring kisses that made her want to go against all her self-protective instincts and pull him down so she could feel his naked flesh against her own.
Even if she’d been tempted to urge him on top of her, Gabe seemed to be taking extra care not to place any weight on her. He supported his body with his arms and let his mouth tease her. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin at the side of her neck. He made love to her with his tongue and lips, seeking out every sensitive spot.
Exquisite tension coiled through her, tightening every muscle until she shifted restively and moaned with unfulfilled need.
His confident hands stroked slowly down the entire length of her body, chasing fear away and causing a frisson of heat to twist low in her pelvis. The heat spread through her when his hands skimmed around her navel. He slid one hand up and down between her navel and pubic area, then his fingers ventured lower, combing over the curls that lay there.
Each of his touches was barely there—feather light to the point where it was excruciating, yet electric tingles shot right through her and gathered at the very core of her femininity. She was unable to withstand it any longer. Instinctively she lifted herself up and pressed against his hand, urging him to increase the pressure of his caresses, but instead of heeding her silent plea, he lowered his head. The manly stubble on his chin was erotically abrasive against the smooth skin of her stomach, and when he flicked his tongue into the dip of her navel, she shivered in ecstasy.
The torture of his tongue circling her navel continued while he raised one hand and brushed the pad of his thumb over the tip of one of her nipples. Then his lips kissed up her flat abdomen on a mission to unleash his carnal skill and use his tongue to lash the other dusky pink nipple.
Oh God, yes. She remembered these sensations from the night of the ball in Santaliana, when he’d waltzed her off the dance floor and paid homage to her breasts with his mouth.
Each swirling lave of his tongue worked to bring her nipple to an aching, straining taut bud. India was mindless with pleasure when Gabriel drew her more deeply into his mouth, sucking hard—flicking at the nub with his tongue until she tossed restlessly on the bed, arching into his mouth and making keening noises from the back of her throat like a supplicant beggar.
He lifted his head away from her breast and his attention wandered to the small triangle of hair he’d been combing with his fingertips just moments before.
‘I want to taste all of you,’ he rasped against her chest.
His declaration caused an uncontrollable rush of moist heat to that spot.
His hands ran over her breasts again, then worked their way lower with what seemed to be deliberate, agonising slowness intent on escalating her need one notch at a time. His mouth trailed behind his capable hands, kissing every inch of skin they’d touched. Over the swell of her hips, down the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs, behind her knees, and down to the graceful arch of her instep. Each touch opened up a whole new insight for her into the meaning of physical arousal.
A throaty sound forced its way between her vocal cords when his fingers traced through the pale curls that crowned her feminine mound, and proceeded to press on the small nub of flesh which housed her most sensitive nerve endings.
Oh, dear Lord, it was divine but torturous pleasure.
‘Every inch of you, India.’ His breath was a warm teasing sensation against her inner thighs as he lowered his head between her legs.
When he stroked his tongue along the seam of her feminine core, her choked-out gasp was in unison with the appreciative murmur from the back of his throat. India scrunched up huge handfuls of bed linen as he delivered the most intimate oral exploration possible. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and tried to stop trembling so she could absorb the sheer bliss of his ministrations. Even while she sensed there was something more waiting for her—something momentous, she didn’t ever want to stop this insane pleasure.
Her skin prickled all over and she was certain she blushed from head to toe in the wake of his intimacy. Wave after wave of sweet pleasure buffeted at her. Her husband seemed to want to drive her beyond the peak of extreme pleasure. Skilfully, he alternated the tip and blade of his tongue to lick at her. He suckled her nub and worked his teeth against it. And, just when she thought she’d reached the upper limit of pleasure, Gabriel slipped one finger inside her.
The sudden intrusion jarred her memory back to her rape and made her tense.
‘Stay with me, India,’ Gabe said as he worked his finger against her aching centre and resumed his relentless alternating pattern of sucking and lapping.
His words calmed her.
This is Gabe. He’ll never hurt me. The mantra went round in her head and she was able to relax.
Need took over. It swirled tighter within her, demanding she forget every last inhibition and fear and give her complete trust to this man who was her husband.
Her hips tilted instinctively in a desperate attempt to ease the ravenous, torturous hunger of her body. Every second that passed, she found it easier to give herself over to his care a little more. The acute pleasure he wrought with his mouth overwhelmed her. His skilful finger stoked her passion, as he knew just where to touch and how much pressure to apply so that her inner muscles quivered.
Gabriel.
Her inner voice spoke his name.
It was Gabriel who was with her. It was he who piled one layer of pleasurable sensation on another, causing wanton heat to burn through her. It was Gabriel who coaxed and caressed her. His experienced fingers that played her sexuality like a virtuoso violinist, intent on bringing her delightful desire—determined to wring out every pleasurable sensation he could from her as she moved under him, wild with anticipation.
Her body burned. Her fingernails scored the flawless skin of his shoulders as her entire being was poised in pleasure bordering upon pain at the edge of an unknown precipice. Longing built to an unbearable pitch and just as excruciating tension gripped her and she lost the ability to take a full breath, a maelstrom of sensation consumed her. It spiralled out of control, forcing her off that precipice so she was flying—her body arching up against him from the bed as sheer euphoric rapture engulfed her and she came apart with the force of years of pent-up desire.
It was impossible not to cry.
‘Hey.’ Gabe’s voice was all concern as he levered himself up and came to lie beside her. ‘Are you okay?’
Mutely she nodded through her tears. ‘My world... exploded. It was so good. Thank you, Gabe.’
‘Feel like a cuddle?’
‘Oh, yes,’ she told him with a bit of a sniffle. She wanted to snuggle up close to him. Unbelievably, she drew comfort from Gabriel’s masculine strength and felt protected by it. It was such an incredible revelation because she’d always felt so bothered at the thought of a man’s strength in bed—so threatened by it.
Gabriel lay on his back and pulled India over so she was lying almost fully on top of him. ‘You enjoyed that intimacy.’
Heat burned through her cheeks. ‘I did.’
‘One step at a time, sweetheart. Tonight was a good start,’ he told her as he ruffled her hair gently with his hand.
Tonight was a good start, yet despite part of her wanting to just lie here languidly, savouring the memories of the incredible sensations he’d wrought on her body, her love for Gabriel wouldn’t let her.
Lifting her head up from his chest, she smiled at him. ‘I don’t want to be a passive partner in my own recovery, Gabriel. I love you. I want this to be about us, not just about me.’
‘You set the pace, India.’
Yes. She could do that.
Moving her body off his so she was half reclined next to him, she let her gaze wander over his powerful frame. Her fingertips trailed over his flesh, touching everywhere her gaze led. Well-developed shoulders. Hair-roughened pectoral muscles. Her fingertips traced a path through the sprinkling of hair and followed it down over the well-defined abdominal muscles and right to the bulge in his briefs.
He was strong, but she knew he’d never use his strength against her.
Tentatively, she used her fingernails to score lightly against the fabric of his briefs and watched in fascination as his erection jerked in response.
Swallowing down on her nerves, she pulled his briefs down over his erection.
He lifted his pelvis so she could ease the briefs down over his perfectly chiselled thighs and remove them completely. His gaze locked with hers, challenging her to look at his naked arousal.
‘Whatever you want, India. As fast or as slow as you want to take this,’ he told her huskily.
She wasn’t sure how fast she wanted to go. She wasn’t even sure how far she wanted to go, but she knew she wanted to touch him. Reaching out, she took his penis in her hand. Even though it was hard, and thick, it didn’t seem threatening as it lay on its soft bed of curls.
Experimentally, she moved her hand, stroking up and down the whole length of it with one hand while she used her other hand to cup and knead gently at the sac beneath. Gabriel’s moan was all it took to make her feel like she had the power here. He laid back, a willing supplicant to her ministrations. His body was hers to do with what she would, and an overwhelming need rose up inside her to seize the opportunity. She wanted to know her husband’s body intimately. She wanted to believe she could bring sexual satisfaction to this man she loved—this man who’d shown her so much love, patience, support and understanding.
‘I want to taste you too, Gabriel.’ Her hair fell forward as she lowered her head and licked around the head of his shaft, wanting to pleasure him the way he’d pleasured her. Lapping up the dewy evidence of his arousal, inhibition was forgotten as she drew him deep into her mouth.
Everything in her exalted in the moment.
It was wonderful. Empowering. Exciting.
‘Oh, God, India,’ he groaned as she went to work on him in earnest with her mouth and her hands.
This knowledge that she could pleasure him orally—that he could pleasure her with the same degree of intimacy without any penetration brought her huge relief. It gave her confidence their marriage could last—that they could enjoy a sexual relationship and bring each other physical fulfilment.
India revelled in having Gabriel in her mouth—in listening to his hoarse encouragement as she tried different actions with her tongue—stroking his length, circling his tip...
‘No more!’ he groaned.
She lifted her head to look questioningly at him. ‘But I want to, Gabriel. I love doing this for you.’
Stark need—tormented need—scored his features before he nodded.
Later, as India lay sleepily with her head pillowed against his chest and one leg crooked up over Gabriel’s hair-roughened thighs, she was incredibly happy. She and her husband were lovers—maybe not in the strictest sense, but it was a hell of a start.
When dawn finally cast its soft light through the gap from the unclosed curtain at the window, India knew she wanted more.
About half an hour ago, Gabriel had moved in his sleep. India had come awake with a start when his legs had tangled with hers and the weight of his thigh had pressed down against hers and she’d been aware of the nudge of his erection against her flesh.
Initial panic had turned to relief when she’d realised she was in bed with Gabe. Relief had been pierced by the prick of an earth-shattering epiphany. India wanted Gabriel as her lover in the truest sense of the word.
Gabe had said he was proud of her and wanted her to be proud of herself.
She’d told him she trusted him, but didn’t she also need to trust herself?
Another thought hit her. She’d told Gabriel he needed to overcome his belief that he brought harm to others and couldn’t protect them—that he’d been stuck in the traumatic moment he’d experienced as a seven-year-old. Wasn’t she just as guilty of being stuck in the violent crime that had been perpetrated against her in her adolescence—of not trusting enough to move forward?
As swiftly as she had the thought, India was moving.
When Gabriel opened sleep-blurry eyes, India was straddling his hips. ‘Good morning.’
His blunt gaze sharpened at the speed of light and she saw realisation register. ‘India? Are you sure?’
‘I’m one hundred per cent sure about what I want. I’m less sure I’m going to be able to go about this with any sort of style or grace unless you help me out here.’
He looked uncertain.
‘You trust me, don’t you?’ she asked, throwing his words back at him.
In response, one hand slipped down between them while the other traced along her spine then followed up along the curve of her buttocks, her hip, her rib cage and finally moulded the shape of her breast.
‘Kiss me,’ he commanded.
India leaned forward, her hair brushing against him as she did exactly as he bid. The kiss went from gently seeking to hungrily demanding in the space of a few seconds, and she was the one who couldn’t get enough of him.
Gabe’s hand cupped her pubic mound before he sent his fingers on a questing mission. They teased her flesh and had her moaning with her need for fulfilment.
Parting her folds and using the pad of one fingertip to run along her seam and gauge her readiness, he positioned the tip of his penis at her entryway. ‘Sink down slowly, India.’
Gabriel didn’t take his gaze off her face. It was an incredibly, intimately bonding moment to look deeply into his eyes as she lowered herself slowly down onto his penis, inch by inexorable inch.
It was a smooth glide down until he was buried deep inside her.
No ripping. No pain. Just a wonderfully welcome stretching of her feminine passage. ‘Okay?’ he asked.
She smiled down at him. ‘Much better than okay, Gabe. You feel so incredible.’ The sense of fullness was one she wanted to savour. ‘I could be here forever like this with you.’
‘You’d kill me,’ he told her with a grimace. ‘You have no idea what it’s costing me to hold still inside you.’
She smiled back at him. ‘Then I guess I’d better move.’
Oh, and she was so pleased when she did. Nothing had prepared her for the divine ecstasy of sensation as she raised and lowered herself on his length.
Gabriel lay still for a little longer, allowing her to find her own rhythm and her own pleasure before he started moving—thrusting up into her as she bore down, easing back as she pulled away.
Oh God, but it was so sweet—so compellingly addictive—every thought was driven from her mind except her physical need for completion.
‘Good?’ he grated.
Words were beyond her. All she could do was moan her affirmation.
His hands were under her buttocks, helping her lift and urging her to increase the tempo of their coupling. Every movement drugged her with pleasure and her climax came hard and fast. Inner muscles spasming around him, she cried out with the earth-shattering magnitude of her orgasm.
‘Yes.’ Gabe’s hoarse cry barely registered through her rapture. It was only when she was drifting back into reality that she knew he’d reached his own fulfilment and cherished the knowledge they’d shared it together.
India planted kisses against his chest while he stroked his fingers tenderly along her cheek, then allowed them to comb gently through her hair as she settled herself down and let him hold her close on top of him.
She looked up at him from below her lashes, marvelling that he looked younger—more relaxed since their lovemaking—and even more handsome than ever. Listening to the sure, steady rhythm of his heartbeat, her fingertips traced idly through the soft hairs of his chest and she savoured this warm contentment in the aftermath of lovemaking.
Before long, she stifled a yawn.
‘There’s still time to go back to sleep, darling,’ he told her. ‘This time dream happy dreams.’
She bent her arm to support her head as she smiled down at him. ‘They’re bound to be happy dreams if I dream of you. I’m so glad you’re my husband.’
Dark-blue eyes smiled contentedly into hers. ‘I’m so glad you’re my wife.’
Cuddling back into him, she inhaled the achingly familiar scent of him and loved the intimacy of their naked bodies entwined together. His leg moved between hers as he shifted to his side. Instead of panicking at the weight of it, she rejoiced in it. Opening herself up to Gabriel—loving him and allowing him to love her in return—had gone a long way to chasing her demons away. They might rear their ugly heads from time to time, but if she did have a nightmare, it was reassuring to know that Gabe would be in bed beside her and she could turn to him for comfort and support.