I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place with Talon’s arm under my head, my hand linked to his, and his body heat blazing like an inferno against my back. If I closed my eyes, I could almost fool myself into believing things were different. That we hadn’t spent years apart, that I hadn’t lost everything after leaving him, and that he didn’t hate me. The one thing that kept me from believing it was how rigid he was, distant.

Then he relaxed.

Yet I still couldn’t.

His breathing evened out, and I knew he was asleep. I tried to close my eyes and follow him into dreamland, though that didn’t happen, either. All I could think about was how badly I’d needed him, how he hadn’t been there, and how it had all been my fault. And then I suffocated in the realization that there was nothing I could do to change any of it. It wouldn’t matter what my reasons were or how my life hadn’t been roses and chocolate since then. He’d never be able to look past my betrayal and forgive me. So there was no point in trying.

A tear slipped out, followed by another, and in order to keep from waking him, I curled into myself more. Lying in a fetal position on my left side, I desperately fought against the sobs that threatened to rip through me. When he stirred, I held my breath and bit my lip. I needed to calm the silent pain coursing through me; otherwise, I risked waking him. Then he rolled to his side and slid his right arm around my waist, and I no longer needed to hold my breath.

Because he’d stolen it.

With one arm around me, he pulled me closer. He bent his left elbow, dragging mine with it until my face was hidden behind the sleeve of my hoodie. It created a protective barrier and muffled my sobs enough to keep from being heard. I thought having him close yet so far away was torture, but nothing was as bad as having him hold me in his sleep, knowing this was not at all what he wanted.

If for only this one night, just long enough to release the pain inside and fall asleep, I allowed myself to pretend, to become lost in my imagination. If I didn’t, I’d do nothing but drown in it until the sun came up.

I rested the side of my face on his bicep, while he had his cheek pressed against the back of my head. With his left arm curled and propped against the headboard, the cuffs binding our wrists together, I slid my palm along his, fooling myself into believing he held my hand. Our fingers were loosely laced, because I worried if I gripped any tighter, he’d wake up and realize what I’d done. And I wasn’t ready for this moment to end—not before I had the chance to give in and fall asleep.

Yet sleep didn’t come.

My mind warred between the last time I’d been in his arms and the months and years that followed. It was like time hadn’t existed before him, and it had turned dark in the span between then and now. I’d always believed that I would be able to hit the play button when I saw him again. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. And now, I was left with nothing but regret and a useless heart.

His soft snores blew through my hair, and with my eyes closed, I could almost convince myself they were sweet nothings whispered into my ear. It was enough to quiet my tears and suppress the dismal thoughts that kept me up. And finally, I was able to let go of consciousness and fall into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

An alarm blared, startling me awake. I jumped at the same time Talon did, and immediately, I pulled my hand out of his. He rolled over and stretched out his arm to grab his cell off the table between the two beds. Then the obnoxious sound stopped, leaving us both in an awkward state of silence. Needing to put distance between us, I pulled myself to my knees and waited for him to get up.

It was morning, but not late. Enough light filtered through the window to see everything, though it wasn’t bright, which indicated the sun hadn’t yet risen very high in the sky. My mind was foggy from sleep—or lack of sleep—as I tried to calculate what time it was, how much longer we had to go, and when we’d get to the lake house. I had barely contemplated the first thought when Talon, lying on his back, pulled his hands to his face to wipe away the sleep. The sudden movement jerked me to the side, effectively drawing me onto him.

Quickly, he pushed me away, and then recognized the silver handcuffs that connected us. I held my breath, waiting for his further reaction, and when he growled his displeasure, the pressure in my chest was joined by the heat of tears behind my eyes.

“Hurry up and unlock these, please. I need to use the bathroom.” I fought to keep my emotions hidden and out of my voice. He’d hurt me enough, and it didn’t appear to have bothered him one bit. The last thing I wanted was to give him the satisfaction of getting to me.

Talon wrapped his fingers around my wrist and dragged me out of bed. His lack of patience stifled my protests as he led me to the duffel bag next to the dresser. Producing a key from somewhere inside, he disengaged the locks without once looking at me. And I didn’t waste a second to utter gratitude he didn’t deserve. I grabbed my canvas bag and fled to the bathroom before he could see my tears.

I needed to pull myself together.

I was better than this. Stronger than this. I’d overcome far more obstacles than whether or not Talon McNeil hated me. It didn’t matter, and nothing I did or said would change anything. I had to accept it and move on. And as soon as he had his car strapped to the bed of his tow truck, we could go home. Another day and a half on the road—hopefully without another night trapped in a motel with him.

I wiped my tears and told myself, this is the last time. The last time I’d cry over him. The last time I would allow myself to pretend things were different. The sooner I accepted it, the faster I could move on. And that’s exactly what I did. As I finished changing my pants, I ignored the hazy memories of waking during the night, only to hear him soothe me with shushes and coos laced with soft kisses to my shoulder. I had no way of knowing whether I had dreamt of him doing those things or if they had truly happened. But it didn’t matter.

I had made my bed.

It was time to lie in it.

That shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me—over the last four years, I’d done nothing but lie in the beds I had made. I’d taken off with a bag full of cash and spent a considerable amount of it—more than I’d been able to repay working at the diner. I’d lied to my uncle, lost my grandfather, buried the true essence of my heart, and paid the price. If those things hadn’t sent me jumping off a cliff, putting up with a man who hated me for another two days surely wouldn’t.

By the time we were both buckled up in the truck, it was seven thirty. I was starving, but there was no way in hell I’d say anything to him. I’d managed to go thirteen hours yesterday without saying more than ten words, so another seven or so would be a walk in the park.

It also helped that I hadn’t gotten much sleep. Curled up next to the window, I passed out to the humming of the tires on the road. And after what had felt like I’d only blinked, I was jolted awake by a hand on my arm and a dangerously deep voice close to my face. My eyes popped open at the same time my arm swung out to defend myself. I managed to catch Talon’s jaw, though he didn’t appear to care.

He stared at me, the lines between his brows deep and taut. It was hard to differentiate between anger and concern—my guess would’ve been anger, but he didn’t react that way. Instead, he took a deep breath, not once moving away.

“What was that?” His voice was so tight I could tell it’d taken a lot of strength to hold himself back. Again, he appeared to be a man on the verge of losing his temper, and I wondered if I had imagined the concern in his eyes.

“You scared me.” I sat up, pushing him away just enough so I could see where we were. Aside from a gas station, I didn’t have a clue what city or state we were in. Let alone what time it was or how long we’d been on the road.

“Sorry,” he practically whispered, causing me to do a double take. I must’ve hit him harder than I thought, because there was no way he would’ve apologized had he not been seriously injured.

“Where are we?”

“Just north of Atlanta. I figured it was a good time to stop for gas and go to the bathroom before we get into that traffic. So come on.”

“I don’t need to go.” I could’ve gone, but I wouldn’t tell him that.

“I’m not leaving you out here.”

“Take your keys with you. Or hell, chain me to the door if you’re so worried about me running off.”

His smile might’ve been meant as sinister, but I found it rather sexy. Then he spoke again, and I came to my senses. “And risk someone thinking I kidnapped you and calling the cops? No thank you. I wasn’t asking, Maggie. Just come inside and use the restroom.”

I huffed and relented. He was lucky I had to pee; otherwise, I would’ve made a far bigger deal of going with him. Not that he would’ve changed his mind or anything. And honestly, I wasn’t sure why he cared if I went inside or not—if I planned to run, I would’ve waited until he was in the bathroom and then taken off. He must not have considered that scenario, and I chose not to bring it to his attention for fear he’d make me share a stall with him.

Talon was in front of the snacks when I came out. He must’ve seen me out of his peripheral because without looking my way, he held up a bag of pizza Combos. “You still like these things?”

I could’ve hit him again. It was like he had a sensor that alerted him when I had given up caring about his feelings toward me, and he used it to rope me back in. My heart rate sped up just knowing he’d remembered what snacks I had stocked up on during our last road trip.

“Yeah,” I whispered cautiously. The entire time, I watched his face, waiting for some hint as to where this had all come from. First the apology for scaring me, and now this. He had to have some ulterior motive, though I hadn’t quite figured out what it was.

And again, without facing me, he grabbed a couple bags of Combos, as well as a few other snacks and drinks, and headed toward the counter. I guess he expected me to follow, because he didn’t even glance over his shoulder to make sure I was behind him.

Which I was.

I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Yet once we were back in the truck, it was like the nice version of him disappeared again. He tossed the sack into my lap with a grumbled, “Hopefully, this will last until we get through Atlanta. I don’t feel like stopping again until we’re out of that traffic.”

I buckled up and leaned against the door, hoping I could fall asleep and not wake up again until we were at the house. Unfortunately, Talon had turned into Chatty Cathy and refused to let me get any rest. The open road and empty air must’ve gotten to him.

“I’m surprised you still have my hoodie. I figured you would’ve left that in Mississippi with everything else. The least you could’ve done was allow me to keep something of mine.”

I tugged at the strings dangling across the front. “It’s not yours.”

“Oh, really? It looks just like it.”

“It’s a black jacket, Talon. I’m fairly certain you didn’t own the only one in existence.”

“So you, what…went out and bought another one just like it? Same size and everything? Why? I mean, why not just get one that fits you?”

There were so many reasons for avoiding the truth. The biggest one was that I refused to admit I had purchased a pullover just like his, to replace his, because I needed to feel closer to him. That would’ve been far too humiliating, and more than likely, spurred additional questions I really didn’t care to give.

So instead, I shrugged and said, “It was the only size they had.”

“It’s okay to admit it’s mine and you’ve held onto it all this time. Don’t worry, I won’t ask for it back. And you can relax…I’m not gonna make you tell me why you’ve kept it or what significance it has to you.”

“That’s so very nice of you. And I’m not lying—it’s not yours.”

He mumbled to himself, though I wasn’t sure if it was an argument or a joke. Either way, I didn’t care to listen to it—or him—any longer. The facts hadn’t mattered to him yesterday, so I had no desire to give him any today. I didn’t care how many bags of chips he bought me. I just needed to get this over with and go home, so I could finish my sentence in hell.

I rested my head against the door again and closed my eyes.

* * *

After being woken up a few more times, we finally made it to the house in Interlachen at four in the afternoon. My stomach bottomed out as Talon slowly drove down the narrow, unpaved road through the trees until we reached the clearing. The closer to the house we got, the more unsettled I became. This had once been my salvation, where I had run to when I didn’t have anywhere else to go. But now…now it was the place that had captured my nightmares like a Polaroid.

Talon followed the navigation on his phone while I helped by pointing in each direction he needed to go. I didn’t speak, and I hoped he’d missed the way my finger shook every time I stuck it out toward the windshield. Finally, he took the last turn down the winding driveway toward the house.

“You said your grandfather died years ago?” Talon drove with the steering wheel close to his chest while he observed the house in the distance.

“Yes. A few months after I got here.”

“Whose house is it now?” He followed my directions through the trees that took us farther from the house. This area used to have a path made from tires driving over it all the time, but it seemed that without anyone here in recent years, the grass had grown back, covering the trail of packed dirt that had once led to the shed in the corner of the property.

“It was left to my mom in the will.”

Talon brought the truck to a stop and turned to look at me. “Your mom came back? She lives here?”

I shook my head, surprised he’d remembered that. It wasn’t like we’d had an entire conversation about my mom, so I hadn’t expected his reaction. “No. Uncle Danny just told me he talked to her about it and helped her with the paperwork.”

He nodded and then eased off the brake, the truck crawling toward the shed again. “So, no one lives here?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“I was thinking we could crash here for the night and then leave in the morning. But if no one’s been here in years, I’m assuming there’s no water or electricity. And it’s more than likely not very clean inside.”

I hadn’t considered that. Ever since I’d returned to Iowa, I’d tried not to think about this house at all; the fear that came along with the memory was bad enough.

“Although,” Talon continued, pulling me from my thoughts, “it looks like someone’s been taking care of the yard. I would imagine all this would be overgrown if nobody’s been here in years.”

He was right. I glanced around the property and took note of the grass. It hadn’t been recently mowed, but it had obviously been done in the last couple of weeks. Some of the trees were overgrown, and it looked like one had fallen some time ago and had never been picked up. Other than that, someone had been here taking care of the land.

“Maybe the guy my grandfather paid still comes out. Who knows. It could even be one of the neighbors. I’m assuming they would’ve gotten tired of seeing it look so bad and maybe came to clean it up a bit.”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled up in front of the old garage. When I was a kid, this was where Gramps had kept his tractors and trailers. As he got older, he couldn’t maintain the equipment like he used to, and eventually, he sold it all. That was about the time I had moved in with my uncle, and when I came here with Talon’s car, it mostly contained junk.

“It’s in here?” He shifted the truck into park and pointed through the windshield.

I stared at the old, wooden garage. “Yeah. The padlock on the front is stuck, so you’ll probably have to cut it off.”

Talon hopped out of the truck, but I remained seated. He moved to the front and stood with his hands propped on his hips, staring at the weathered building. Then he turned his head to look at me over his shoulder. Instantly, I was reminded of how even before I’d learned his name, I knew what he was thinking without the need of words.

I shook my head, refusing to get out. Except, that didn’t stop him. He stalked to my side, and before I could think to lock the door, he yanked it open. He had his foot on the step and leaned over me before I had a chance to react. In one swift move, he had my seatbelt off and my wrist trapped in his hand. I didn’t want to leave the safety of the vehicle, and it was obvious Talon knew that. Without warning, he tossed me over his shoulder and carried me to the shed.

“There,” he said without any notion of being out of breath as he set me on my feet. “Now show me how to get in this thing. I’m not going in without you. If something is waiting for me inside, you’ll be the first to greet it.”

“You seriously think I’d set you up?” I couldn’t believe the audacity of this man.

“Considering our history? Yeah.”

I had no idea what he meant by that. Yes, I’d taken off and basically left him with nothing—regardless that I had turned around. Nonetheless, I had never set him up for anything, so it was an odd thing to accuse me of now, and then blame it on our past.

“Whatever,” I mumbled and stepped closer to the garage that was now mostly covered by brush. I’d lost count of how many nights I’d come out here and just sat in Talon’s getaway car, needing to feel closer to him. I’d curl up in the passenger seat with his blanket and pretend we were on the road together—not running from anything, just living.

I pointed to the rusted lock. In all honesty, with as rotted as this wood was, it might’ve been faster to kick the door, but Talon already had the bolt cutter in his hand. I glanced between him and the truck, wondering just how long I’d been trapped in my memories for him to have retrieved them and made it back without me ever realizing he’d walked away.

Talon snapped off the lock, making it look like it had been made of plastic instead of steel, and then opened one side of the double barn-style doors. Sunlight filtered through the gaps between the rotted slats in the ceiling, bathing the space in heat and stifling the air in my lungs.

The old car was still there, exactly where I had left it. I had parked it in here to keep it safe from the elements and falling leaves from the trees. The next time I’d tried to start it up, it wouldn’t crank. And not too long after that, I couldn’t get the lock off the front of the shed, leaving me to squeeze through an opening in the side. It’d been entombed in here like a piece of lost treasure.

Talon walked around the car, touching it, peeking through the windows. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought he was checking it out, looking to buy it, rather than inspecting it for problems he could blame on me.

After circling back around, he regarded the shelves lining the shed. “Just my luck, someone will drive by, see me haul this car out of here, and call the police to report a break-in.” He peered at me over his shoulder. “And since you can’t get ahold of your mom, how will we prove we’re not stealing anything?”

“Honestly, I doubt anyone will say anything. It’s not like we’re loading up a moving truck.”

He moved past me and headed to the truck, as if our exchange hadn’t just happened. It took me approximately two seconds to do the same. I didn’t follow him; I just needed to get away from the one thing I both loved and hated with all my heart—his car.

Standing in the open space next to the shed, I closed my eyes and basked in the sun. One of my favorite things about this place was how the weather managed to warm up beautifully during the day, with just enough of a chill to be comfortable. At night, the temperature dropped, but nothing like it did at home. Gramps used to have a fire pit in the back yard, and I’d spent many evenings dreaming of burning a few logs in it while sitting next to Talon.

I quickly opened my eyes, unable to go down that road again. It didn’t matter how I used to feel or what idiotic fantasies I’d lose myself in just to make it through the day. This was my reality, and I had to accept it. I turned to the side, finding the lake behind the house. As a child, my parents couldn’t get me out of the water. They used to call me a fish. And when I was here last, I’d spent hours sitting on the dock, lost in the sun gleaming off the surface. Granted, my thoughts were dark during those times, unlike when I was younger.

“Where are the keys?” Talon came up behind me, nearly scaring me shitless.

I slapped my hand over my chest and whipped around to find him, the sun lightening his short hair, the defined lines of his muscles showing through the sleeves of his shirt. I had no idea how much time had passed since I’d turned around to face him, but he stopped the timer when he cleared his throat.

“Oh. They’re inside. In the kitchen.”

“If no one lives here, how do you expect to get inside?”

“There’s a key under—”

He stepped into me and grabbed my hand, silencing my words on my tongue. “I don’t understand why you keep insisting on me doing things alone. I’m not going into that house without you.”

I wanted to argue and tell him that I didn’t understand why he presumed I’d do anything to harm him, yet I didn’t exactly have the right to say that. So I kept my mouth shut and walked toward the house with him in tow.

Just as I remembered, a garden gnome sat wedged between the concrete step and the brick that lined the bottom half of the house. Just looking at it, no one could tell it hid a key inside, and unless you figured out the “code,” no one would find it, either. I pushed in at the right places, twisted when it was necessary, and pulled it apart, revealing a tiny space just big enough for a house key.

“Here.” I handed it to him, and as I should’ve expected, he didn’t take it.

I huffed and stomped my way up the three steps to the back door. My chest constricted as I stuck the key into the lock. My throat closed and I couldn’t breathe when I turned the knob. And my hands shook at the realization that the key still worked. Talon hadn’t noticed—or he simply didn’t care—that anxiety had made me its bitch.

The door creaked open and we walked inside. I didn’t make it two steps before I froze. My feet refused to cooperate and my lungs had completely deflated. This was the last room I was in before I’d gone back to Iowa. It still looked exactly the same—yet entirely different. The glass was gone, no sign of a struggle anywhere to be seen. The recliner had been returned to where it had always been…Gramps’s favorite chair. Looking at it now, it was hard to imagine what it had been like that day.

Talon broke through my examination of the room when he whispered into my ear, “Are you sure no one lives here?”

“Yeah, it…” I swallowed my words when I turned away from the living room and caught sight of the kitchen. Empty food wrappers littered the island, cups sat next to the sink, and even from here, I could see the red numbers flashing on the coffee maker—the electricity was on.

I desperately tried to slow my thoughts long enough to grasp one. Gramps had died, and with my dad having passed many years before, everything had been left to my mom. Uncle Danny had told me so after he took me home from the hospital. That only meant one thing…

“Mama!” I darted toward the stairs and raced to the top, Talon hot on my heels. But I ignored him. My mom had disappeared and never returned. Which meant… “She’s gotta be here. Mama! Mama, I’m here. Where are you?”

I tore through the upstairs, slamming doors against the walls as I flung them open. As I passed each room, I began to realize she wasn’t in the house. So I went through the bedrooms again, searching closets and dressers for any sign of her presence. By the last one, Talon engulfed me in his arms and sat with me on the unmade bed.

“Shhh…” The heat of his breath wafted across my damp cheek, alerting me to the tears I hadn’t realized had fallen. “She’s not here, Maggie. She’s not here.”

“Someone is.”

“It happens in vacant houses. People realize no one is there and won’t be for a while, so they break in and occupy it until they’re caught.”

At any moment, these criminals could return. That should’ve scared me, yet I was numb to anything other than sadness at the reality that I hadn’t found my mom.

He stood, bringing me to my feet, and led me to the bedroom door. “Come on. Let’s go find my keys so we can get the car loaded up on the bed of the truck. I’m pretty sure no one will show up as long as we have that thing sitting out front.”

I nodded and followed him down the stairs, then turned to head into the kitchen. In the drawer next to the fridge, all the way in the very back behind the obscene number of spatulas, were his keys. Honestly, not once had I doubted that they would still be there. For whatever reason, I never questioned someone breaking into the house. And more than likely, had they found them or the car in the shed, neither one would still be here.

He grabbed the ring and crossed the room to the door. Without a glance over his shoulder, he left. And I about crumpled to the floor. I was torn apart, broken, in ruins after searching the rooms upstairs, and he knew it. Yet he didn’t bother to even look at me before he left me by myself. The old Talon, the one from the gas station, never would’ve done that.

And that’s when I realized I was utterly alone.

I managed to stumble out the door and down the steps, the entire time, keeping my blurry focus on the lake. My dad was gone, my mom had long since left, Gramps had passed away…and all this time, I’d held out hope that I’d find Talon and no longer feel so isolated. Regardless of my epiphany this morning, I couldn’t ignore the reality that stared me down.

Somehow, I’d fooled myself into believing I hadn’t been broken.

When in all actuality, I had fallen apart years ago.

Still, I’d trusted that Talon would come along and put me back together again.

I was the modern-day Humpty damn Dumpty.

I put one foot in front of the other, the grass crunching under my shoes on the way to the dock. And as soon as I stepped onto the first wooden plank, I pulled the hoodie over my head, tossing it to the ground. There was no rhyme or reason as to why that was the only article of clothing I removed, and when I reached the end, I stepped off in my tennis shoes, jeans, and tank top. I allowed the weight of it all to carry me to the bottom, no longer caring to be alone in the world for another minute.