Oh, where the heck do I begin? I always do this at the last minute, and every time, I say to myself…self, you should really make a list while writing so you don’t forget anyone. Seems I should worry more about forgetting the list, since that seems to be my issue. Anyway. Carrying on…

Kristie—If you think you’re my first acknowledgment, think again!

First and foremost, I can’t thank my family enough for the patience and support they’ve shown me over these last few months while working on this book. It hasn’t been easy (hell, I didn’t make anything easy), but regardless, there’s no way I would’ve been able to finish this without them. So…Kevin, I love you more; Bob, one day you’ll be writing your own acknowledgments, and I can’t wait to see the things you’ll bring to life with your imagination; Deuce, I love you McGeezie Eezie FoSheezie Wheeeeeeeeeezie! And Midge, never stop being weird.

Lobs—I highly doubt I would’ve finished this book had you not held my hand and talked me off that ledge. I suck the life out of you at times, but here’s to hoping you continue to love me anyway. As different as we are, we’re somehow strangely connected on a level I can’t begin to explain, and I thank God every day for you.

Whorehole-E-O—From the moment I called you and said “I have an idea for a book but I can’t figure out the how, when, where, or why,” you’ve been by my side, taking this journey with me. And what a fucking traumatic journey it was. I’m still not sure how this came from the jumbled mess I word vomited to you, but I finished it, so I shall not question it. Here’s to that street corner in Savannah, GA, where I found the other half of my brain.

Biffle—You’ve been my right hand for way longer than you realize, and I’m the luckiest bitch in the world because I have you by my side. I will defend couponing until my dying breath, because without it, I wouldn’t have you. Spending the last few months with you and Bug almost every day has been the best, and I’m looking forward to many many more days rocking that Bug-A-Boo to sleep for you (because I kick ass at putting a baby to sleep!)

Kristie—In the last book, I subtly hinted at how badly I needed your help decorating my house. That seemed to work in my favor, so I figured I’d try again. You should really move here. It’d be fun. There are lots of houses in my neighborhood, which means you wouldn’t need a DD.

Angela—I need a name for you. So from now on, you shall be P-Mama BJ. If I ever hear you say, “I’m not worthy” again, I’ll fly to Maryland, snap your legs off, and beat you with them. Got it? You’re freaking amazing! Without you, I would’ve lost my head a long time ago. I’d say you’re my sanity…but we all know I’m not even close to being sane!

Emily—You’ve banned me from saying you’re the best publicist ever, so I won’t say it. Instead, I’ll say… You’re the most outstanding public relations person that has ever existed. Thank you, thesaurus. Seriously, you’re never allowed to leave. If you try, I’ll find you. Use your imagination to complete that threat.

Nina—I’m still waiting for the day when you come up to me at a signing and you don’t introduce yourself. HA! You’re rather unforgettable. One of a kind. And hands down one of the most genuine people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting…several times. LOL

Kristie—

Judy—You’re still far too pretty to proofread my shit. The end.

Danielle—I can’t thank you enough for your support and friendship! Having you beta for me has been a blessing. And please, thank your uncle for me for the info he provided. Who would’ve thought I’d find a friend while critiquing a guy’s sex scene?!

Stefanie—Your feedback is invaluable. Thank you so much for being the tough one!

Sarah—I now know the difference between a jacket and a hoodie, and you now know what a pallet is…and Brian now knows it’s not a vagina! I can’t thank you enough for your multiple read-throughs and fact checking! See? I do need you. So stop saying I don’t!! Love you!

TWOTs—It doesn’t matter how quiet our texts become, I always know you’re there!

Kristie—

Leddyisms—I’ve had so much fun these past several months seeing your comments and posts. I love my little group and each and every one of you. It’s become such a fun place to go when I need a break from life or writing, and it’s because of all of you! And yes, in case you didn’t know, you’re there for my entertainment…not the other way around!!

Readers—New, old, and everyone in between, there are no words to express how thankful I am that you’ve given me a chance. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to live out my dream. It doesn’t matter if you love my books or hate them or just think they’re all right. Knowing that you took a chance on me means everything. Your reviews empower me, whether they help rebuild my broken confidence or offer ways to help me improve. So, honestly, thank you for giving me your time; I know every second is precious, and I’ll never be able to repay you for it.

Bloggers—I can only imagine how many ARC opportunities each of you get, and I’m not foolish enough to believe anyone could possibly read every single one that crosses their path. Just knowing you chose mine or opted to share my release means the world to me. “Thank you” doesn’t seem sufficient enough to express how grateful I am for any and all support you’ve ever shown me. I continue to be in awe that anyone would be interested in sharing my work, so thank you all for making me speechless on a regular basis…my husband thanks you as well!

Kristie—

Chris—Buy that one^^^

Kristie’s Dad—This is her formal resignation. She can’t work for you anymore because she’s moving here. Thank you so much.

GoFundMe—Any chance we could get a campaign started for Kristie to move here?

Anyone I’ve forgotten—I apologize…I’m sleep deprived and suffer from chronic procrastination. Please know it wasn’t intentional.