C H A P T E R S I X
Sophie
For the first time in my entire life, I wake up not afraid. Mommy thinks I don’t notice, but Daddy is mean. He doesn’t love Mommy and me, not the way my friend’s Daddies do. Their Daddies pick them up from school, give them lots of hugs and kisses, and they always slobber all over their Mommies when they think no one is looking. Not my Daddy, he only yells at us. He hits me and hurts me. I know he hurts Mommy too. She only cries when he is around.
I wish Mr. Adam was my Daddy instead. He is always nice to me and gives me hugs. I think he loves me, and maybe he loves Mommy too? I wish Mommy loved him too, then we can stay here forever. If I ask Mr. Adam, maybe he will want to be my Daddy. If he is my Daddy, then Mommy will love him, and we can stay here forever! If I am really good and listen, then he will want to be my Daddy I am sure of it.
Adam
Do I smell bacon? I quickly throw on my uniform and head toward the kitchen. I find Sophie sitting at the breakfast bar chatting away with her mom as she makes breakfast. Something Sophie said makes Isabel laugh.
She should always be laughing.
Isabel turns and catches me staring at them from the doorway, causing her face to immediately turn red and her smile to fall.
“Good Morning, ladies,” I say in a cheerful tone.
“Hi!” Sophie shouts, jumping off the stool and comes running towards me.
I am barely able to catch her little body as she flings herself into my arms.
This little girl has me wrapped around her finger.
Sophie gives me a tight squeeze before pushing herself back with her hands on my shoulders.
“Hi,” she says again.
“Hello, Sunshine,” I respond with a smile.
Looking down at my uniform, Sophie gets a sad look on her face.
“Do you have to go to work?” she asks.
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t want you to go,” she says with an adorable pout.
Oh, she is going to be trouble if she keeps this up.
“There are more boys and girls out there that need me to help them feel better. You don’t want them to stay sick, do you?”
Sophie thinks for a moment, then says, “No, I guess not. You’ll come back though?”
“Absolutely, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She seems satisfied with my answer and wiggles in my arms, trying to get down. I bend over and place both her little feet on the ground.
Isabel announces that breakfast is ready as Sophie grabs my hand and leads me to the breakfast bar.
“It’s been a long time since I had a home cooked breakfast before work,” I comment, trying to start a conversation with Isabel.
“It’s the least I can do,” she says to her plate, blushing.
All through breakfast Sophie chats away, but I can’t concentrate on anything but Isabel. Her smell, the way she moves, the way her lips wrap around her fork as she eats. All of these things bring my mind back to last night.
This continues through breakfast, a nod here or there is all I can manage for poor Sophie. I hope she doesn’t notice that I am not really paying attention.
I’ll make it up to her after work. Maybe Isabel will let me take her to the park.
As I get up to place my dishes in the sink, I hear glass break and Sophie scream. Dropping my plate back on the table, I spin around to find Sophie crying, and broken glass on the floor. Isabel and Sophie both look terrified.
“Sophie, are you alright?” I ask, concern on my face and in my voice.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!” she wails as I approach her.
Next thing I know Isabel is blocking my path, panic overtaking her.
“Isabel what are you doing? I need to check and make sure Sophie didn’t get cut by the glass,” taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart.
“It was an accident. I won’t let you hurt her!” She shouts at me.
What the fuck?
Suddenly it dawns on me, this is an instinctual reaction for both of them. Captain Alexander must demand order and perfection, so any disruption is cause for the abuse to begin. If it’s not Sophie, then it has to be Isabel. She would never willingly let anything happen to Sophie, so she plans to take the beating for her.
My heart aches for both of them at this moment, but I need to show them both that I am not a monster like him. I will care and protect both of them until the day I die. I said that I wanted both of them in my life forever, well, there is no time like the present to start showing them.
Taking slow steps toward Isabel, I say, “Isabel, I’m not going to hurt Sophie. I don’t care about the glass. I just want to make sure she’s alright.”
“She’s fine. She’ll be fine. There’s no reason for you to get involved. Just go to work,” she demands.
Sophie is standing behind her, still crying.
“Sophie, it’s okay sweetheart, are you hurt?” I ask her.
I don’t see any blood, which is a good sign, but I still want to check her myself. Shit, who am I kidding? I just want to hug her to let her know that I would never hurt her for any reason.
“I-I-I d-do-don’t kn-kn-know.” Sophie finally gets out in between sobs.
“It’s okay sweetie, don’t move, I’m going to come get you. Okay?” I ask her.
“Okay,” she sobs.
I look Isabel in the eye to let her know that I’m going to go get Sophie, and carefully lift her into my arms.
“It’s okay, Sophie, you’re alright,” I reassure her.
I pick her up and carry her into the living room. It takes a few minutes for Sophie to calm down, so I can check her over for any cuts and glass shards. Once I’m satisfied that she’s fine, I pull her back into my lap and wrap my arms around her.
She snuggles into my chest and whispers, “Are you mad?”
“No, I’m not mad. I’m glad you’re not hurt. The glass can be replaced.”
Isabel emerges from the kitchen and freezes when she notices us cuddling together on the couch.
“Come on, Sophie, Adam needs to get to work,” Isabel says as she picks Sophie up off my lap.
“Thank you, love, for a delicious breakfast. I’ll see you both this evening,” I say with one last look before heading out the door.
Isabel
I watch Adam’s truck leave the drive before I release the breath I have been holding. I snuggle Sophie closer to my chest.
“Baby, you need to be more careful, okay?” I mumble into her hair
“Mommy, don’t worry Mr. Adam would never hurt me,” she says
I look down at her smiling face. She is so trusting and has no idea how the world works.
“How can you be so sure? Sophie, I want you to listen to me, sometimes people say things, but they don’t always mean them.”
I hate that I have to have this conversation with her, but I want her to be prepared for when Adam changes his mind about his feelings for her.
“Like lying Mommy?” She asked with a questioning look.
“Yes, just like lying. People do not always mean to do it, but they do not always feel the same every day.”
She nods her head in understanding. I know she’s only four, but she understands most of the basic concepts of what is going on.
“Mommy, I love Adam.”
“You do? How do you even know what love is, Sophie?” I don’t know why I asked her, but I wanted to know.
“Well, he is nice to me. He doesn’t yell, and he lets me eat when I want. Most of all, he doesn’t make us cry.” I see a small tear run down her face.
“He gives me hugs and kisses before bed at night, he reads me bedtime stories when he is home, he tells me he misses me when he is gone at work fixing the other kids owies.”
Sophie begins to wiggle in my lap, I can tell she is uncomfortable because I asked her to explain things to me. I give her a kiss on the forehead, hoping that will calm her down some.
“Ummm, I don’t know mommy. He does all the same things you do for me. I know you love me, he just doesn’t tell me like you do. I love you because of all those things, so then it’s okay for me to love him too right Mommy?”
I blink rapidly to hold my own tears at bay. I hate Jason Alexander a little more every day for what he has put my little girl through. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.
“Well, Sophie those are all good reasons to love someone.” I give her a big squeeze before I say, “Sophie, no matter what, know that Mommy loves you to the moon and back.”
“Wow, Mommy that is a whole lot!”
“Yes, baby a whole lot!” I repeat as I give her belly a tickle.
It’s so good to hear Sophie laugh so freely, I can listen to her laughter all day long.