Sofie
It could be the alcohol, or it could be that someone’s put a spell on me. Although I’m sober enough to know there are no witches or wizards in real life to put a spell on me. Is it really the alcohol?
Or is something else happening to me, something more profound, deeper, like a fucking personality change?
Do we change personality or am I deluding myself? I have vague recollection reading somewhere some time ago that people don’t really change their personality that much over time.
Maybe it’s the effect of too much alcohol.
I only had one fucking cocktail. Although I did feel it go straight to my head. It had been hard to work out exactly what was in the fucking drink, but whatever it was, it tasted fucking delicious.
Could one alcoholic drink make me drunk?
I fucking doubt it.
Means only one thing; bad Sofie is well and truly alive. Good girl Sofie is obviously on permanent vacation.
Greg’s eyes would have bopped out of his head had he seen Oliver finger fuck me in public at this exclusive nightclub.
I fucking can’t believe it myself. I’m still tingling all over thinking about it. Only a few weeks ago, I would never have believed I’d do something as out there as be fucked in public.
Fuck.
My insides are still burning from my orgasm and I’m so fucking horny, I want Lucas and Oliver to rip my fucking clothes off and fuck me, right here, right now.
I grab Oliver’s arm on the right and feel Lucas link arms on my left.
Is anyone looking at us? I don’t think so. At least I can’t seem to see anyone stare more than usual. Oliver and Lucas attract plenty of looks from the chicks as is.
Who fucking gives a shit?
I don’t. Good girl Sofie might have, but not bad girl Sofie. All bad girl Sofie can think of is to get a fucking room so we can really get the show going.
At the elevator, I turn to Oliver and offer him my lips. He kisses me, gently at first and then more demanding. His tongue forces entry into my mouth and does a hot tango with my tongue, rubbing, pushing, and swirling.
The ding of the elevator and Lucas’ hand interrupt our passion.
Oliver presses sixth floor and I’m pleased we don’t have to spend more time in here. If the ride were to be longer, I think I’d be naked and, well, no point dwelling on something not likely to happen.
The second we are in our room, we survey the area.
Nice. It’s fucking nice.
There’s a bottle of bubbles in a sliver ice bucket with three fine crystal glasses.
Lucas pours us a drink.
My shoes come off first. I fling the high stilettos across the room.
I accept the drink from Lucas with a smile and take a sip of the cool liquid.
Ahh. That’s fucking fantastic.
The bed is like nothing I’ve ever fucking seen before.
It’s twice the size of a normal king-size bed. There are more cushions than two people could ever need. Above the bed head is an enormous painting of deep blue water with water lilies floating on it.
I tilt my head and get lost in the painting. I’m so engrossed with it, Oliver’s touch makes me jump.
“A little jumpy, are you?” He whispers in my ear.
Without turning around, I reply.
“What’re you going to do about it?”
His hands massage my shoulder.
“Well, I’ve got a few ideas,” he whispers into my ears and I relax into those fucking strong baking fingers.
I’m sure a baker would have strong fingers. Kneading dough all day would mean you get strong fingers, wouldn’t it?
As I revel in Oliver working on my neck and shoulder, I picture him kneading dough in the kitchen in the nude. It’s a fucking fantastic image. I’m not sure where it’s come from, but I enjoy it a lot.
All he’s wearing is one of those chef hats. Do bakers wear chef hats? Doesn’t matter. In my little imaginary movie, Oliver’s nude but for one of those fucking tall white hats.
Strong long fingers dig into the cream-colored dough and massage and finger it.
Fuck. My pussy’s getting wet. Actually, wet is an understatement; it’s fucking dripping already.
I turn toward him, and his mouth finds mine.
His fingers keep digging into my back and find my ass.
Yes. Yes. Keep going.
Lucas comes to join us.
He’s behind me and kissing my neck and nibbling on my earlobe. I’m not sure what his wayward fingers are up to, but before I even fucking finish the thought, I can feel them come up under my fucking dress.
Wow. Fuck. Two guys, one girl. Fuck, it feels good thinking about it.
Goodbye Emma, see you later Mr. Darcy, eat your heart out Elizabeth. I’ve got three of the fucking hottest guys eating out of the palm of my hand.
How fucking awesome is this?
Each and every one of my fucking nerve cells is quivering in anticipation. I can’t fucking wait to be fucked by these spunks.
“I think we both agree Sofie here has been a bad girl and needs to be punished,” Oliver has stopped kissing me. His hands are still on my fucking ass. His voice not soft and tender, rather a little aggressive.
A shiver runs down my spine in anticipation of what he might be planning.
Lucas leaves my neck.
“Yes. I think so too.”
At the seriousness of his voice, my body stiffens and deep within me little fireworks start to explode.
Whatever’s coming, my body’s fucking ready for it.
Before I know exactly what they’ve got planned, I feel Lucas grab my hands and drag me to the bed.
Oliver follows.
Roughly, Lucas pushes me onto the bed. I scramble away from him. Actually, it’s a feeble attempt on my part. I don’t have a fucking plan. My body acts without thinking.
Lucas grabs hold of my ankle and pulls me backwards. In the process, my dress rides up and exposes my ass.
“I think this little fucking vixen is after some serious punishment.”
Without looking, I’m not sure which of the two said this.
Oliver leaps onto the bed and grabs my arms while Lucas has got my ankles.
Snake-like I writhe, trying to free myself from their hold. I have no success. The more I writhe, the harder they grip.
I grin.
Sooner or later, one of them will have to let go to take off their pants. Not much they can do fully clothed.
However, Oliver’s smarter than that. He brings my arms together over my head and then pins them underneath his weight with his knees.
I watch as he rips his shirt off and unzips his pants. His fingers fumble with his button and then the offending clothing drops to his knees.
My eyes widen at the sight of his bulging boxers. He’s fucking ready for a fuck. His fucking cock is practically exploding out of his shorts.
With relative ease, he holds onto my hands again and discards his pants all together.
“Do you want some help with those boxers?” My eyes plead with him.
Oliver chuckles.
“A little horny, are we? Little fucking slut.”
I lick my lips.
I’m so fucking desperate to grab something. I don’t care if it’s with my mouth or fucking hot pussy. Or both.
I writhe again against my two strong holds.
Lucas and Oliver seem to exchange a glance. Then without fucking warning, they roll me over.
Face down on the huge king-size bed, I can’t see what’s going on. Someone’s undoing the zipper of my dress and rips it off me.
All I’m wearing now is my bra and thong.
Rough fingers pull on the back of my slip, pushing pressure on my clit. They pull so hard until the material rips.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I’m breathing hard. Pleasure and pain rushing through me like a waterfall.
Next, my bra is unclipped and pulled out from under me. The material scrapes against my rock-hard nipples. I fear they might rip the material, that’s how fucking hard they are.
By now my fucking pussy’s so wet, I fear there might be a flood. I think I’ve already managed to soak the sheets without even coming. And to think that I’ve hardly been touched or had any opportunity to touch either of them.
My breathing is fast and shallow. I feel as if I’ve run a marathon in sprint speed.
“So,” Oliver turns to Lucas. “What sort of punishment does bad girl Sofie deserve?”
Millions of butterfly wings seem to be caressing my back, my ass and between my legs. I moan. If this was punishment, fuck, what would pleasure be like?
Increasingly, I’m finding it difficult to muster one single thought. My brain’s taken a holiday and left lust in charge.
If losing your mind is like this, it’s not too fucking bad.
“She’s been a real fucking slut,” Lucas agrees. “And acting contrary to company policy.”
Company policy?
I’m trying to make sense of Lucas’ statement. What fucking company policy? Had I fucking missed something?
If only those fucking butterflies would leave my skin, I might be able to think a little clearer.
“Absolutely,” Oliver says. “And breaching company policy is a very serious offence. Wait till Eli finds out.”
My heart beats a little faster and I wiggle my ass at them.
“She allowed you to finger-fuck her in a public place,”
“Not to mention she didn’t do anything to free my fucking cock.”
“I think there’s really only one thing to do.”
I hold my breath, waiting. My body’s tense. And then it happens. Unprepared, it’s worse had I been expecting it.
It’s Lucas who’s pushing my legs apart and I think it’s Oliver hand that slaps my right ass check hard. The sound of his palm connecting with my naked flesh sends shivers down my spine. Fuck, it hurts and at the same time pleasure ripped through me.
Smack.
His hand comes down hard on my left ass cheek. Then his hand hits hard across my ass and part of my pussy opening. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
My pussy’s throbbing and my ass is stinging. The juices are flowing. I’m fucking ready to be fucked.
My fingers ache to touch one of their massive fucking cocks.
But Oliver hits my ass again and again relentlessly.
By now my heart’s beating so fast, I fear I might hyperventilate.
The world is spinning. But as suddenly as the spanking started, it stops.
The butterflies have returned. They’re caressing the inside of my leg.
Lucas’ fingers are circling at the opening of my pussy. He scoops up my juices and proceeds to rub them to soothe the red marks on my ass.
It feels cool on against my hot, burning fucking skin.
As Lucas keeps looking after my ass, Oliver kneels in front of me.
“Now then, my little fucking hot slut,” Oliver starts. As he speaks, he lifts my head by my hair. My mouth is just about level with his bouncing fucking cock.
“I think it’s about fucking time you start to pay for your bad behavior in the club.”
He moves his rock-hard dick toward me and I open my mouth in anticipation.
Instead of shoving it right down my fucking throat, he barely lets my lips touch it before he pulls it away again.
Fucking tease. But a graze in my longing lips could never be enough.
“Now Sofie, remember your manners.” Oliver growls and leaves his fucking cock just inches away from my face. “Weren’t you ever taught if you wanted something you need to say please?”
He has that smug smile on his face and I know he’s just loving this.
“Ohh, yes please,” I mutter, unable to form a coherent sentence. The boys have well and truly fucked with my brain.
“‘Yes please’ what?” Oliver’s dick has come a little closer.
I poke my tongue out to see if I can reach it, but it’s just a little too far away.
“Yesss pleaseee. Let me fucking suck your cock.” Right now, I’d do anything just to have his cock in my mouth.
The tip of it now enters my mouth. I suck on it hungrily, like a candy, but then Oliver pulls it out again. I groan in frustration.
“Are you sure you really want it?”
I try and lurch after it, but I can’t. Lucas has pinned me underneath him. With my ass and pussy well occupied, it’s almost impossible to comprehend what’s going on.
“Yessss. Fuck, Oliver. I want to fucking suck your fucking cock.”
Before I finish the last word, his cock’s coming toward me and goes right into my mouth. It’s so fucking huge, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to fit it all in without gagging. But somehow, I manage and once it’s right inside my mouth, sliding down my throat, it feels natural.
I start bobbing up and down on it. Oliver pulls in and out.
Fucking magic.
It feels so fucking good to play with Oliver’s dick.
When my mouth is at the end of his shaft, my tongue explores all around it. Slowly, I glide up again and pull away. I kiss him gently on the tip of his dick and watch it expand and grow right before my fucking eyes.
Even though I see it grow for myself, I still can’t believe it can get any bigger.
Instead of letting his cock back in, I start sucking and playing with his balls. I roll them around in my mouth before I spit them out and go back to his cock.
Oliver’s groaning and his grip on my hair tightens.
“Come on my fucking little slut, you can do better.”
I suck harder and faster. He matches my tempo. With each thrust, his cock thickens. I can feel it pulse. Oliver groans.
Lucas by now has pushed his fingers into my pussy and I shift my weight back toward him. His index finger moves right into me and reaches on my sweet spot.
Then he pulls out of me. I lift my ass a little to try and entice him to keep his finger where it has been. However, to my surprise and delight and his cock enters me. At first, I can only feel his tip, but then he starts to thrust in and out.
I try and match his tempo. If I can get into the same rhythm as Lucas is, we might come together at the same fucking time.
Lucas is fucking me hard and fast. His fingers are digging into my hip where’s he holding onto me.
Oliver’s starting to tense up. Deep behind his belly button, I can feel the intensity build. My own body is ready to erupt in a fountain of pleasure.
I concentrate on not falling over the cliff edge. As much as its tempting to come now, it’ll only feel better if I wait a bit more.
The pleasure builds. Lucas keeps thrusting and Oliver’s six-pack is contracted. He’s thrown his head back and his hip’s thrusting forward and right into my mouth.
And then the explosions rip through him. He almost pulls some of my hair out as his body is gripped by his orgasmic wave. I swallow his creamy cum as he shoots his massive load into my throat.
I swallow and swallow as he unleashes load after warm load.
At the same time, Lucas’ fucking massive cock’s throbbing in my pussy and the walls of it are tightening with each thrust, not wanting to let it go ever again.
He also starts to spasm as he reaches his climax.
As his cock’s unleashing his creamy cum, my pussy’s tightening and releasing over and over. Molten lava spreads through me like a river, and in my head fireworks are exploding. My abdomen and lower legs spasm and no coherent thoughts are left in me whatsoever.
Oliver is the first to shift positions. He leaves his spot behind my head.
Lucas stays inside my pussy, as if trapped, for a little while longer, until he pulls out.
I roll onto my front. Then I slowly move to sit up. I feel fucking fantastic and I can’t wipe the smile off my face.
My eyes find Oliver and he grins at me.
“And you call this punishment?”
Oliver exchanges a look with Lucas.
Bad girl Sofie wants more. Good girl Sofie would never fucking be so direct. Well, let’s face it; good girl Sofie would never have fucked two guys in the first place.
I get onto my hands and knees and prowl around the bed cat-like.
Lucas watches and Oliver looks to be planning his next move.
It doesn’t take long for him to take charge. Oliver takes hold me and drags me to the edge of the bed. He pulls my body until my head’s hanging over the edge of the bed.
Lucas gets his drift and takes up position near my head.
Oliver on the other hand, is putting his attention to my pussy. He starts with butterfly kisses on my tummy and down to my pubic hair. From there, he lets his tongue lead the way to my pussy.
Expertly, his fucking tongue rolls over my clit. His teeth nibble on it and the sensation leaves me quivering in ecstasy.
Ohhh.
Led by desire and some invisible force, my hips thrust up to meet Oliver’s magic tongue. When’ he’s done working on my clit to the point of driving me near madness, his tongue explores other areas.
Snake-like, it darts in and out of my throbbing pussy. Electric shock waves pulse through me and I know the light’s switched off in my brain. With so much fucking pleasure I barely remember my own fucking name.
Greg never put his face anywhere near my fucking pussy. In fact, as far as he was concerned, sex was a few humps and an orgasm for him. But I don’t have to think of this douche bag—not that I could think about anything else other than the unbelievable tongue action Oliver’s giving me.
This is fucking awesome, amazing and out of this world.
Now Oliver shoves his tongue in as far as it will go and pushes against my inside.
Wow.
Fuck. The world’s fucking spinning.
I grab Lucas’ fucking massive cock and start playing with it. The way I’m lying down, I look at him upside fucking down.
Like fiddling with the piano, I move my fingers up and down. My touch is light and quick. If I was playing the scales for fucking real, I’d be able to give fucking Mozart a run for his money.
Lucas groans and his hands grab my hair.
When I let go off his dick, it bounces up and down a little, searching for someone or something to rub it. My hands grab his fucking balls and start playing with them. Like a stress ball, I squeeze them, gently at first then a little harder.
“Fuck,” Lucas hisses and I laugh.
My lips give him a little feather-light kiss on the tip of his throbbing cock. Little droplets of pre-cum sit atop his dick. They glisten, and I wrap my lips around him a little to suck them off.
Lucas’ grip on my hair tightens and he tries to push all the way into my mouth.
I resist.
Instead, I wrap my tongue around the top of his shaft and play with it.
Lucas lets go of my hair and leans forward. His hands wrap around my tits.
“Fucking perfect,” he grunts.
His words send pleasure waves through me. Ever since I found Greg fucking cheating on me with a woman with massive tits, I can’t help but wonder if my fucking tits aren’t big enough.
To hear Lucas praise my breasts is a real confidence boost.
“They’re a fucking perfect fit,” he continues to squeeze and massage them. “My hand cups them well leaving a little spilling over. That’s fucking perfect.”
As a reward, I now take all of his quivering cock into my mouth.
Lucas’ fingers focus on my nipples. They’re already so hard, I think they’d cut through granite. As he rolls them through his thumb and index finger, they harden even more. I increase my pace.
Oliver’s now sucking on my pussy and I find my insides electrified.
An intense orgasm is building deep inside. Like a giant tsunami, it threatens to take me over, engulf every part of me and make me loose total control.
I suck harder and faster on Lucas’ cock and feel him grow with each thrust in and out of my mouth. It takes eight more thrusts before he unloads his cum into me. I feel it build inside his balls and shoot into me.
At the same time, my hips contract and I push up to meet Oliver’s lips and tongue. Giant explosions intermingle with tingling sensations and the world loses its focus. Heat rushes through me faster than a grassfire and I feel my body shudder with pleasure.
Lucas pulls out of me and the last bit of creamy cum drips onto my breasts and chest.
I see him collapse on the bed next to me.
It takes me a few minutes before I stop writhing with pleasure. It takes a few more minutes before I realize Oliver’s rock-hard and is pointing his bouncing fucking cock at me.
“You don’t think you’re getting off that easy, do you?”
Without waiting for a reply, he rolls me onto my abdomen.
“Onto all fours,” he commands, and I push myself up.
My ass is now pointing straight at him.
Each and every one of my nerve cells is tingling in anticipation. Oliver’s fingers are painting on my ass. He’s picking up my own juices with his index finger before drawing imaginary works of art on each ass cheek.
Already, I’m horny and more juices are flowing.
Could you have too much fucking pleasure? Had anyone ever died from too much pleasure? I try and rummage through all that fucking useless information one accumulates over time. I draw a blank.
It’s not as if I don’t have plenty of useless information rattling around in my brain. For some strange reason, I recall useless statistics. Right now, I remember that higher income earning people prefer toilet paper to come over the roll, while those on lower income prefer it to go under.
Fucking useless fact. Why would anyone even bother to research such fucking useless statistics? Surely it doesn’t assist in anything, knowing how people like to hang their toilet rolls? It wouldn’t help sell toilet paper either.
My random thought process is interrupted with Oliver’s finger working on my ass. Instinctively my hole tightens, as do my muscles in close vicinity.
“Come on baby cakes, relax.” Oliver whispers in my ear as he kisses my neck and nibbles on my earlobe.
Shivers run down my spine. I push my ass against his body.
The tip of his dick’s right at my hole, teasing me. He runs all of the tip around the outside and I feel myself relax, despite my reluctance.
“You want it,” whispers Oliver over and over into my ear and it echoes in my mind.
I barely register Lucas slide in under my body. It is only when his hands play with my dangling tits do I notice he’s changed position.
His cock’s also sprung to life again.
How fucking amazing is this?
And then without any further fucking warning, Oliver pushes into me, stretching open in the process. He proceeds slowly and gently at first, but then lust grabs a hold of him and he pushes right into me.
He starts pumping. The sound of his balls slapping against my ass cheeks add to the other sounds of heavy breathing, moaning and groaning.
A symphony of pleasurable sound fills the room and again I take a little detour in my thoughts. Had anyone ever recorded just the sounds of people fucking? It would make for an interesting recording.
Oliver fucks me harder and faster.
His hands are working with my fleshy ass. He’s massaging and kneading until it hurts.
Pleasure, pain, lust and more; a bouillabaisse of emotions floods me right now. Any second I might fucking explode.
I’m swept down the river of fucking excitement.
At first, I’m not sure what Lucas has in mind, but it does not take long for me to catch on.
He’s pushing on my hips. He wants to pull me down. He wants to pull me onto his fucking massive cock.
OMG.
Fuck.
He wants to enter my fucking pussy while Oliver’s fucking my other hole. I arch my lower back to meet Lucas and his dick.
Gently, he enters me. I feel me being stretched far beyond my limit, and yet he keeps pushing. Oliver pulls out a little and then Lucas is in and Oliver comes back.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Two cocks inside at the same time.
My fingernails dig into Lucas’ hips. He finds his own rhythm and starts pummeling into me.
Oliver catches up with our pace and I shiver in delight.
This is un-fucking-believable.
Who’d have thought I’d be fucking two guys at the same time?
Wow.
If Greg could see me now, fuck he’d be so fucking jealous.
Part of me can’t believe what’s fucking happening to me. It’s like I’ve landed in my own fucking fairy tale. A fairy tale with no kings and princess, but fucking billionaire Greek gods.
Growing up in a home, this was too fucking good to be true. It was like a fairy tale—one I never imagined—one a girl would never read about, but it was still a fairy tale.
The best part though is that it isn’t all fucking sex. There have been some fucking fantastic moments with them. Some of the highlights creep into my mind. We’ve really connected with each other. Each of them brings something different to the relationship, and yet somehow, they’re also the same in a lot of ways.
Fuck.
Stop fucking thinking bad girl Sofie, if you keep it up good girl Sofie might want to make a fucking come back. Just enjoy the mind-blowing fuck these two guys are giving you.
The walls of my pussy are starting to contract and grab Lucas’ dick harder each time he thrusts into me. His already massively oversized fucking thick cock is getting bigger with each of his thrusts.
How that is even possible is beyond me.
At the same time, Oliver is ramming into my hole faster and faster. It’s so fucking tight, but at the same time I can’t get enough of his fucking huge cock inside of me. It rubs my inner walls so good.
I arch my back to try and meet Lucas as he thrusts.
Stars are appearing before my eyes and my thought process slows down until it stops all together. I just focus on the pleasure I’m feeling, coursing through my body.
Inside my tight fucking ass, I can feel Oliver’s orgasm. He’s shooting load after fucking load of cum into me and when I feel it run down my legs, I’m swept away in my own orgasm. My insides go from fucking tingling to burning and fire rips through me. Volcano-like, I erupt and molten lava follows the fire.
With my pussy pulsing, Lucas is unable to hold off any longer and he also starts shooting his cum into me.
“Fuck. Sofie.” He growls, and I feel his fucking lips on my tit. His teeth find my nipple and bites it.
Ouch.
More pleasure rips through me.
It takes me several minutes to recover from this all mighty orgasm. Little aftershocks rip through me and Oliver is now lying next to me.
Lucas’ fucking cock is still inside of me, throbbing. He seems to be reveling in his own after shocks.
Our bodies are sweaty, lying next to each other.
Wow.
Lucas now pulls out of me and to my surprise pushes himself downward. I roll over.
He starts gently licking me.
The after shock I thought has concluded continues. With each lick of his tongue around my pussy, the tingling increase and it is as if little electric pulses are travelling through me.
Oliver, obviously not wanting to be left behind, uses his tongue to clean me around the inside of my leg.
All this attention is almost bringing me to another fresh orgasm all together.
I feel hot. I still feel fucking horny.
Is it possible I’ve turned into some kind of sex maniac? Do such people exist? Could you have too much sex? Perhaps I’ll have to start attending sex anonymous. The thought makes me laugh. Instead of AA meetings I’d be going to SA meetings.
Almost of their own accord, my hands explore my own body and start playing with my tits. I let my nipples run through my index finger and thumb and pull and pinch them.
“Yeah, that’s it Sof. Keep going,” encourages Lucas but I need no further encouragement.
The harder I pull and pinch the more pleasure seeps through me.
By now Lucas is not only cleaning me from my own fucking juices and their combined remaining cum, no, he’s also starting to make sure I’ll get to come again.
His tongue is inside of me. He pushes, licks and prods. He does it expertly and it doesn’t take too long before I feel myself come again. It’s not as full on and violent as before, but it’s fucking delicious.
Oliver and Lucas lie beside me.
I grab each of their hand.
They roll onto their side to face me.
“Do you think we punished her enough?” Lucas is grinning at Oliver.
Oliver smiles and looks me straight into the eyes.
“I don’t know. She’s still got that rule breaking smile on her face.”
I raise an eyebrow. Rule breaking me? I don’t think so.
“I—” I start, but instead of saying something, I lean forward and push my lips onto Oliver’s. I let my tongue explores his mouth. He responds.
Then I pull away and kiss Lucas.
When I release him, I grin at both of them.
“I think I saw a giant hot tub in the bathroom.” I say and leap off the bed. As I saunter in the direction of the bathroom, I make sure I sway my ass from side to side.
I glance backwards to gauge their reaction. From the fucking half erect cocks my eyes feast on, I know exactly what they’re going to be doing.
With a satisfied smile, I start to skip to the hot tub.
“Why don’t you bring the champagne?” I call over my shoulder and disappear in the bathroom.
It takes less than ten seconds for my willing slaves to appear.
Lucas
I think I got the habit from my folks and from watching Mr. McElroy across the road. At 6:30 a.m. every morning, rain or shine, Mr. McElroy would come out of his house to retrieve the newspaper from his lawn. He was a nice man who gave me candy every time I saw him.
I am never ever late. It’s my trademark. I always arrive before the appointed hour, maybe a minute or two, but when I am needed somewhere I am always on time.
Like saying “Please” and “Thank you”, this habit’s been instilled in me for a very long time. And I fucking can’t stand people being fucking late.
Not today though. I drive slowly, too fucking slowly. I don’t care. Today’s special.
I miss the lights and have to wait. I don’t care. The old man wearing a felt hat and driving a sensible Honda in front of me is driving so slowly I could get out and walk faster. Every other day I’d be breaking my neck to overtake and I’d be fucking swearing. But not today.
I wait for a break in the traffic and cruise past him, but I’ll still be late... Elijah will be there already. And I don’t fucking care.
I look at my watch. I am a full five minutes behind schedule. I don’t fucking care.
Love will do that to you. You just float and time takes care of itself.
After I park my fucking car, I sit and stare for what seems like a fucking eternity. There’s a song I want to listen to on the radio. It also allows me to replay some of last night’s fucking highlights, and boy were there many highlights to replay.
I allow myself a lazy stretch and pull the key out of the ignition once the song finishes.
With a spring in my step, I head into our building and go to where the great man will be.
I come into the office to find Elijah.
He is drinking coffee and looking at his watch. He doesn’t see me at first but, when he turns, his face lights up in recognition.
He says, “Oh, hi there. Here comes the afternoon shift.”
“Oh, yeah, hi,” I say. I feel like I’m talking to him from way above the clouds.
Elijah is not going to let it go.
“Some people call this the night shift, you know.” He looks at his watch again. It’s a deliberate move. He’s trying to make more than a point. He’s making a fucking statement.
But I don’t fucking care. Did I mention I don’t care?
“So what kept you? You’re never late. Been busy then?” he says with that ‘I know exactly what’s been going on’ look all over his face.
“Such a late night,” I say without thinking.
“Uh-huh. I thought so. Sofie, right? You were with Sofie.”
I hear the statement but answer it like it’s a question anyway. No fucking point denying what went on last night. We all know what’s going on.
“Hoo yeah,” I say like I have just taken a straight swig of the smoothest bourbon ever made. “Hoo yeah. And Oliver was there, too.”
I’m so full of the night before that I forget Elijah is not exactly a stranger to that sort of encounter. I back up.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to be blasting that all over the neighborhood.”
“Go right ahead,” he says. “I know exactly where you are coming from.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Only if you tell me Sofie wasn’t happy. She’s happy, I’m happy. That’s the way it works for me. But what about Oliver—that doesn’t bother you?”
Do I mind? I pause. I think. I asses.
“You know what? It doesn’t bother me one little bit. I’m surprised to say it, but no, it’s just not a fucking bother at all. As a matter of fact, I think you and I are on the same page about that. No, wait, we are on the same paragraph.”
The smell of Eli’s coffee makes me crave one, too. I wonder if I could get one before we talk business.
He smiles, and I mimic him. What else can two guys do when words cannot cover how glad they feel? It’s like watching the perfect touchdown. There’s nothing else for it. We go high five, thumbs, knuckles and upright wrist round the corner hand clasp.
“Man, I tell you,” I say, “I’ve fallen hard for that girl. I don’t think there’s a happier guy than me in the entire world.”
“Back up, Sparky,” Elijah says. “That goes for you and me both. That girl has gone and gotten me smitten...”
“You suppose Oliver feels that way, too?” I ask.
“If that guy does not feel the same way we do, man, he’s got a problem and I can’t help him with that,” Elijah says, his smile growing wider by the minute.
His eyes have gone all dreamy, like he’s remembering something very, very pleasing. I’m pretty sure I know what he’s thinking.
Elijah has got some coffee brewing and notices me looking at it.
“Want some?” he asks.
I nod and he fills me a cup.
“But Houston, we still have a problem,” I say as I take a sip. It’s fucking good coffee.
Some people don’t like strong coffee. I do. And thank fucking goodness, so does Eli. Why people bother drinking that half-strong shit is beyond me. I mean if you’re not going to get your full blast of fucking caffeine, why bother?
If you don’t like the strong stuff, don’t insult the barista. Become a teetotaler.
“A problem?” he asks as he refills his cup.
My thoughts return to the here and now.
I look at Eli. “Remember fucking loser Greg? The one who wanted to dump the most exquisite girl on this planet?”
“I might’ve heard about it, but I’ve probably forgotten. I can’t help losers so, no point remembering their names,” he says, but I know he’s lying.
Eli never ever forgets a name, particularly of someone who’s wronged someone he likes.
And he likes Sofie; ergo, he more than remembers this fucking loser.
“He’s back in the scene. Bad case of realizing too late that he had let go of the best thing that ever happened to him, and now he wants to make Sofie’s life crap. Thinks he’s entitled to the girl.”
“There’s always a jerk in every situation,” Elijah says, blowing over the top of his coffee.
He seems calm, but it’s that sort of calm you don’t mess with. I can tell he is furious and if Greg was within reach—what can I say? There would be blood.
“One jerk who spoils it for everyone. The jerk that never gets it,” he says and takes a long slow sip. The air has that sort of ‘someone is going to get hurt’ atmosphere in it.
“You get it, I get it, and Oliver gets it. This is about making Sofie happy,” I say.
The coffee’s good, so I drink it all.
“And then there’s butt-head Greg,” says Elijah summing it up.
“Butt-head Greg.” It’s like the first punch has been thrown, but there’s just something about the way he snaps the three accurate monosyllables together that breaks me up.
I see Greg’s head in my mind and he has “Butt-Head” written across his forehead. The thought is hilarious. I get the coffee down without spraying it everywhere, causing me to break into an almighty coughing fit.
Okay, it’s simple and it’s dumb, but there’s something so accurate about the term that cracks me up. I’m coughing and laughing at the same time, and it’s one of those crazy situations where you laugh at nothing and it just takes off, infecting the guy next to you.
Elijah starts laughing too and asks, “What’s so funny?”
I have tears in my eyes and can hardly speak, but I manage to squeak out, “Butt-head. Butt-head Greg,” and next thing I know Elijah is laughing, too.
We repeat “Butt-head Greg” a few more times in between roars and cackles of laughter. What a sight we must make.
What can I say? We both love the same girl so much it hurts. Now we’re laughing at the dumbest three words about the dumbest butt-head in the world, and it’s so hilarious my sides are hurting.
Greg might need some hurting, too. Sometimes one must share the pain, after all. I know three guys who are into sharing. Life’s good.
“Should we come up with a fucking plan or what?” Funny as it is, we will need to deal with the fucking butt-head. It might pay to be prepared.
Eli considers my words, his frown indicative of a man who’s thinking deeply.
Eventually, he shakes his head.
“Let’s wait till fucking butt-head makes another fucking move.”
I nod and think about ways we could get rid of him before he messes with Sofie again. But Eli’s usually right about these things.