Asher

One month later...

“How’s therapy going?” my brother Justin asks as I put my squad car in park in front of the station.

“Doc says I’m cured.” I turn off my engine but stay in the car.

“Really?” He doesn’t sound convinced. If anyone knew how I was before it was my brother Justin. Out of all of my brothers, he and I have always been the closest and he’s the only one who knew about my so-called sex addiction. At least that’s what I thought it was at the time, but the truth of the matter is, I simply hadn’t found the right woman to tame me.

Until now.

“I thought you said there was no cure for sex addiction.”

“There’s not, but this doctor had some unusual therapy methods so it seems I won’t need further treatment.”

“You fucked her, didn’t you?” Justin asks.

I laugh.

I’ve done a hell of a lot more than that.

“Jesus Christ, and just when I thought there was hope for you.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m crazy about her. Hell, I think I might even love her.”

I’m lying.

There’s no might. I know I’m in love with her. I’m just too fucking scared to admit it out loud to anyone yet.

Not even her.

“Well, if anyone were to find love in the most unconventional way imaginable it would be you.”

“She’s got a little girl, too. Fucking crazy about them both. Thinking about bringing them home to meet Mom and Dad soon.”

“I’m happy for you, man. I can’t wait to meet ’em. I personally want to shake the hand of the woman who was able to reel your wild ass in.”

I laugh again, grabbing the keys and stepping out of my car. “You will soon. I promise. How’s Pop doing? Selena and the baby doing okay?”

“Pop’s good. Still ornery as ever. Selena will be six months next week.”

“Shit, I can’t believe you’re going to be a dad.”

I know he’ll be a great father. But I can’t stop the jealousy from nipping at my gut, knowing that I might never have that with Marley.

I’ll never see her belly grow round with my child.

There will be no late night craving runs or getting to hold my baby for the first time.

I won’t get to see Lyla become the perfect big sister I know she would be.

I’ll never forgive myself for making such an impulsive decision. And I guess that’s why I fear telling her that I love her.

Will I be enough for her?

“I know, me neither,” Justin says, and I can hear the pride in his voice. “It’s the best feeling in the world and the most terrifying.”

“I bet. You’ll be fine. We had a good one so there’s not a doubt in my mind you’ll be the best, too.”

“Thanks, man. Means a lot.”

My phone beeps with an incoming call, and I look at my screen to see it’s Marley. “Listen, I gotta run. I’ll call to catch up later. Give Selena a kiss for me.”

“Will do. Later, brother.”

I tap the screen to answer Marley’s call. “Hey, babe, how’s your day going?”

“Not so good. I have a patient who tried to commit suicide last night.”

“Shit, is she okay?”

“I think she will be. I need to go up to the hospital though. Is there any way you can pick up Lyla from daycare for me today? There’s no way I’ll be able to make it there in time. I tried to call Peter but he’s not picking up and I hate to call and ask Steven for anything.”

“Babe, relax. I’d love to go pick her up. Just tell me where.”

I climb back into my squad car as she gives me the address. I quickly punch it into my GPS.

“Thank you, Asher. You don’t know how much I appreciate this. I’ll call Lyndsey now and give her your information so she knows you’re coming. Oh, and you’ll have to run to my place and get her extra car seat. There is a key hidden in my plant outside the door.”

“Key. Car seat. Kid. Got it.”

“You sure you can handle this?” she asks, still sounding unsure.

“Babe, I’m a cop. I’ve handled worse situations than this.”

She chuckles. “You’re right. You’ll be fine. I’m just being a crazy mom right now.”

“Okay, crazy mom. Go do what you need to do. We’ll see you when you get home.”

“Thanks again, Asher.”

Half an hour later, I arrive at the daycare to pick her up. “Asher!” Lyla squeals as she runs up to me.

I gather her in my arms and hoist her up. Her tiny arms circle my neck, giving me a tight hug. “What’s up, kid? You have a good day?”

“I had a great day. Where’s Mommy?”

“She had to work a little late tonight so I thought we could go for some ice cream. What do you say?”

“I say yes!”

Lyndsey instructs me on how to sign her out while Lyla gathers her lunch box and small backpack. As we head outside, she squeals again with excitement. “I get to ride in your police car?”

Opening the back passenger side door, I bow, extending my hand.

“Your chariot awaits, madam.”

Lyla giggles as she climbs into her seat, strapping herself in. I make sure the belt is secure then close the door. Being that I’m a lieutenant, my car doesn’t have the normal metal barricade so I’m able to have an unobstructed view of my tiny passenger.

Her face is lit with excitement as she gazes out the window. We arrive at Rollin’ Sweets and I help her out of the car, holding her hand as we make our way inside.

“What kind of ice cream do you want?”

“Can I have chocolate with sprinkles?” she asks hopefully.

I chuckle. “Of course you can. You want it in a cup or a cone?”

“Cup.”

I place our orders, then once we get our ice cream we find an empty table near the front so we can look out the window.

Her pretty green eyes, eyes like her mother’s, are dancing with delight as she shoves the chocolate covered spoon in her mouth. Then she kicks her feet under the table as she dives in for another bite.

“Good?” I ask, chuckling.

She nods with enthusiasm.

After a few more bites, she looks at me curiously. “Why do you have all of those drawings on you?”

“They’re called tattoos.”

“They’re very pretty.”

That’s not something I hear every day.

“Thanks, kid.”

“Why doesn’t Mommy have any tattoos?”

I shrug, scooping some more chocolate onto my spoon. “I don’t know. You would have to ask her that.”

“My daddy doesn’t have any tattoos either.”

“No?”

She shakes her head.

“What kinds of things do you and your dad do when you’re together?”

“He takes me to a bunch of toy stores and buys me lots of toys.”

“Really?”

She nods.

“He tells me if I’m a good girl and talk to all the mommies he’ll buy me whatever I want.” She looks up at me, fear flashing in her eyes. “But you can’t tell Mommy. Daddy says we can’t tell her.”

“It’s not nice to keep secrets from your mommy,” I say, taking a bite of my ice cream.

“I know, but Daddy says if I don’t keep this a secret he won’t buy me any more toys.”

“It’s okay. I won’t tell,” I tell her with a wink but there’s no way I’m not telling Marley about this.

She grins a toothy grin then hops down from her seat. “I need to go potty. Mommy says I should never go anywhere without an adult,” she states, holding out her hand.

Well shit.

I certainly did not anticipate this.

I walk her down the hall toward the bathroom, and fortunately, it’s a single. “You go ahead, I’ll stand right here and wait for you, okay?”

Nodding, she ducks inside and closes the door behind her. A few minutes later, she still hasn’t come out so I knock on the door. “Everything okay in there?”

“Yep, I had to poop, too!” she shouts.

I chuckle when I hear her grunting.

“And it’s all pokey,” she informs me.

What the hell is pokey poop?

She grunts harder.

It takes everything I have to contain my laughter. Finally, the toilet flushes and she opens the door.

“I can’t reach the sink to wash my hands.”

I step inside the bathroom with her and lift her up to reach the soap dispenser then turn on the water for her. She scrubs her tiny hands back and forth then rinses them off.

“All clean,” she declares as I lower her to her feet.

“Good job,” I praise, handing her a paper towel to dry them. She tosses it in the trash before we walk back out to the table to finish our ice cream.

“Will you play princesses with me when we get home?” she asks, hope dancing in her green eyes.

“Uh, sure.”

I don’t think I could ever say no to this kid. Ever. On the way home, we stop by the gym so she can expel some of that energy on the Ninja Warrior course they have for the smaller kids. It’s all she can talk about on the way home, apart from asking me to turn on the sirens for her which she loves.

I’m kind of hoping she’s forgotten all about the princess play by the time we make it back, and even suggest we watch her favorite movie instead, but she’s not having any of that. She pulls me into her room by my hand. I’ve been in here a few times. It’s covered in everything pink, purple, and every other girly color under the sun. In the center of the room there’s a tiny table, surrounded by little people chairs.

She pulls one out and orders me to sit. So I do, and well, you can pretty much guess what happens next.