Marley

In all of our sessions, not once had he indicated that he’d been married or even in a relationship, so to say I was surprised would be an understatement. Marriage is a big commitment and one I would think Asher wouldn’t take lightly. I’m anxious to find out more, but the following day, he called to cancel our session due to work. It’s not until two days later that we meet again.

From the moment he walks back into the room, the tightness in my stomach reappears. My skin becomes all itchy, like my clothes are too tight. He calmly takes a seat across from me, on his usual spot on the couch. Instead of his standard uniform, he’s wearing cargo pants and a short sleeve black T-shirt with MPD and his name and rank on the front. The fabric stretches across his broad chest, hugging his biceps, accenting the tattoos decorating his skin. The ink beckons my eyes. I find myself wanting to know what each one means and why he has so many.

I take a seat in my chair opposite him, flipping to the next blank page on my notebook.

Then I lift my eyes to find his.

“Tell me about the marriage. When did it end?”

He lets go of a frustrated breath, stretching out his long legs in front of him as he sinks farther into the couch.

“I met Peyton through some mutual friends. We hooked up a few times. Her appetite for sex was as insatiable as mine and we liked a lot of the same things in the bedroom. She let me be in control. She told me she was on the pill but I was still protecting myself just in case.” His lips press into a thin line as he shakes his head. “Then a few months later she handed me a positive pregnancy test, convincing me that one of the condoms must have busted. Showed me a fucking ultrasound and everything. I stupidly thought marrying her was the right thing to do because I didn’t want to disappoint my mother. I found out three months after we were married that she’d lied about the pregnancy. Her best friend broke down and told me the truth.”

His jaw ticks, his dark blue eyes a raging storm of anger and pain. Every experience he’s ever had with women, besides his sister and mother, has been negative.

No wonder he’s afraid to let anyone in.

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Angry. Bitter. I’ve never wanted to put my hands on a woman before, not until Peyton. But that dirty bitch came pretty damn close. That’s why I had to get the fuck out of there. That’s why I moved here.”

“It must be lonely living so far away from your family.”

“Sometimes. My sister, Reese, comes to visit from time to time. She travels a lot so I never know when she’s going to pop up.” He shrugs then picks at a piece of lint on his pants. “I try to get home when I can.”

He’s distanced himself so he doesn’t have to feel an emotional connection to anyone. That’s what feels safe to him. I still need more time with him before I decide whether or not he’s a true sex addict or simply suffering from a lifetime of unhealthy relationships due to the traumatizing events in his life.

I check my watch. We still have three minutes before the buzzer sounds but I need to go to the grocery store after I leave here so I decide to end the session a little early. “We’ll stop here for today.” Uncrossing my legs, I lay my notepad flat on my lap and meet Asher’s gaze. “We’ll pick back up from here at your next session. You’re doing really great, Asher. It takes a lot of courage to relive some of these traumatizing moments from your past but I think you’re making wonderful progress.”

“You do?” he asks, his voice a little skeptical.

“I do. I think with a little more time together we’ll be able to navigate you to a much healthier place.”

“Please tell me that healthy place includes being inside of you.”

“Asher.”

“Are we going to ignore what happened the other night?”

“Nothing happened.”

He leans forward, his eyes as hard as steel. “Oh, but it did.”

“Let me ask you something. If I weren’t your patient and if we’d met at the bar the other night and not here, tell me you wouldn’t have gotten on your knees for me?”

“I would’ve. You’re a very attractive man, Asher. Not even I can deny that.”

A satisfied smile spreads across his lips.

“But we both know what would have happened. We would have had sex and afterward you would feel the same way you do every time. Empty. Devoid of any emotion and repeating that same painful cycle over again.”

“No, you’re different.”

“Why am I different? Hmm? You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. All you know is what I let you know. That’s it. And because this is where we started, this is all we will ever be. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

“That I can’t have you?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” And no sooner than the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back, because deep down they are a lie.

“Do you want to know what I would do if you were mine?”

“No,” I say, standing up from my seat and moving around my desk, needing to put something between us. Some kind of barrier to help protect me from the words that could possibly be my undoing.

But it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.

It’s my body that wants to know.

Because it’s drawn to him in a way I’ve never felt before. With anyone, ever.

The man has some kind of power over me that I can’t explain. An internal gravitation that anchors me to him. And what’s terrifying is I can’t identify any of the emotions taking hold right now because all I want to do is give in to them.

Every.

Single.

One.

He slowly stands, walking toward me, eyes heavy with intent. Bracing his hands on the edge he leans forward, but I hold my ground, crossing my arms over my chest as a means of self-preservation.

And to cover up how painfully hard my nipples are right now.

“I would bend you over this desk, pull down those boring ass pants you have on, and spank your pretty little ass until you begged me to stop.” A wolfish grin spreads across his face. “Then, once your ass is nice and red and burning from my hand, I would make you ride my cock. The same cock you tease with your fucking tapping and every goddamn lick of your lips.”

He doesn’t say another word as he pushes himself off the desk and leaves my office, gently closing the door behind him. I finally release the air trapped in my lungs, breathing in and out as I take a seat in my leather chair.

Shit, I’m in way over my head here.