Chapter Fourteen
“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round…”
Arabella giggled as Hannah and Sherry swung their hips and snaked down the hall in a pseudo conga line to the popular children’s song. It probably wouldn’t have been nearly as funny…or weird…if the kids had been awake and singing, too, but one thing Hannah had learned quickly about life on the road: stir-craziness led to some pretty strange things.
“Aw, come on, Ella,” Sherry sing-songed, beckoning her friend with a head wag. “You know the words, come dance with us.”
“Nuh uh. You two are certifiable.” Tucking her leg beneath her on the leather couch, a vintage-inspired dress draped over her legs, Arabella looked like a retro supermodel. “I’m quite comfortable where I am, thank you very much, and I have no interest in waking sleeping children. You realize they’ve only been down for a half hour, right?”
Hannah stuck her tongue out, but she did stop dancing. Her friend had a very valid point.
Max had been crankier than normal that morning, still recovering from the excitement of his birthday. True to his word, Deacon had made up for the restaurant debacle by whisking them away for breakfast yesterday, following that with a trip to the movies and ice cream. He’d even convinced Hannah to bring Max backstage for the concert, letting him watch his daddy perform from the wings. Max had been in hog heaven.
Admittedly, she’d been hurt and angry about the botched dinner, but she’d never once doubted Deacon would make things right. On a good day, he acted as though it were up to him to save the world, like he was somehow singlehandedly responsible for protecting the people he cared about. He’d always held a huge weight on his shoulders, and when he messed up, that weight only tripled.
What Hannah wanted, though—what she’d wanted since she was fourteen—was to help him share that burden. Guilt still clung like a cape on his shoulders when he’d headed out for sound check that afternoon, but regret didn’t do anyone any good. Neither did torturing himself, or ignoring the good things that he had done.
Had he screwed up? Absolutely. But he’d apologized and made amends, and everyone made bad choices at times. If only he’d see that while he wasn’t perfect, he was an incredible father and musician, and that he could strike a balance between his two worlds—especially if he accepted her help. But then, the man defined stubborn.
A secret smile twitched her lips. Now that they were sleeping together, however, maybe she could find more creative ways to incentivize him to accept help.
“I caught that.”
Hannah widened her eyes at Sherry’s knowing smirk, and felt her cheeks turn pink.
“Yeah, we see you over there, getting all hot and bothered over a certain fiddle player.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Things seem to be going rather well for my latest couple, if I do say so myself.”
Arabella grinned. “I predict we’ll be celebrating another engagement soon,” she added playfully.
The heat in Hannah’s face went supernova and she was certain she was crimson. Luckily, her cell phone chose the exact perfect time to ring, and when she recognized the number calling, she excused herself to answer.
Seriously, though. It’d taken Deacon ten years to even kiss her! Who knew how long it’d take him to want to move things to the next level…or if he ever would.
Outside the bus, the fresh afternoon air cleared away that sobering thought, and she pressed accept. “Hello?”
“Hannah, hey, it’s Crystal Perkins. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“No, not at all,” she replied, smiling at the familiar voice. Crystal had been her boss at the church when she’d worked at their small preschool. She had loved it there. “What’s up?”
“A lot of things, actually,” the woman confided, practically bubbling with excitement. “You remember that abandoned preschool, Bright Beginnings? Well, Mrs. Walters finally decided to sell it off, and the church acquired the property. As you know, we’ve been working toward expansion for some time, and this opportunity was too good to pass up. We’re planning on opening the new location by the new year.”
“Oh, wow. That’s incredible!”
Before Hannah had left for Paris, the church had had numerous families turned away or wait-listed due to inadequate space. The new spot, just down the street from the preschool, would be a huge blessing for their community.
“We think so,” Crystal agreed with a small laugh. “We’re also revamping the curriculum while we’re at it, expanding the program in one fell swoop. One of our goals is to offer a heavy artistic emphasis: movement, drawing, painting, drama, the whole nine.” She paused and flutters flooded Hannah’s stomach. “That’s where you come in.”
“I’m not sure I’m following.”
“When the board met, yours was the first name that came up. We remember you wanting to start an after-school drama enrichment program a couple years back, and well, we’re hoping you’ll be interested in spearheading this new focus. You’d be perfect for it.”
Silence rang as words ceased to exist. Hannah blinked and stared at the shiny siding of the bus, completely unable to process what she’d just heard.
The mission statement she’d crafted in that Parisian café had involved so much more than a makeover. In fact, it’d had three parts: getting Deacon’s attention, stepping out of the shadows, and, finally, finding a career. She’d wanted to discover her place in the world, a role where she could thrive and utilize her skills and personal experience—and this job would do precisely that.
But she also loved being here, with the band. Max and Lizzie filled her heart with joy, and a future with Deacon was looking brighter than ever. Sure, they’d hit a few bumps along the way, but she had no doubt they’d figure things out. Together, they could do anything.
It was with that thought in mind that Hannah released her breath. “Crystal, I can’t thank you enough for thinking of me. Honestly, this opportunity sounds incredible, and it’s what I always dreamed of doing. The arts made a huge impact on me, especially drama, and it’d be amazing to pass that along to the next generation. But…well…there’ve been some changes in my life recently.”
“Oh, really?” Crystal asked, and Hannah heard the subtle change in her voice. “What kind of changes?”
Smiling, she realized it was no longer a potential employer asking, but a friend and former classmate. Crystal had been a couple grades ahead of them in school, but she’d witnessed what it’d been like for Hannah and Deacon, and they’d discussed it over chocolate a time or two when they worked together at the church. If anyone would understand, even a little, what this meant to her, it’d be Crystal.
“You remember how Deacon joined Blue about a year ago?”
Her friend snorted. “Remember? Honey, that made front page news. Folks still talk about it around here, what with the concert coming in a couple weeks. I even went and scored myself some tickets.”
“Oh, good. I might see you, then.” Hannah could practically hear the hesitation and growing interest that statement caused, and she grinned. “See, I’m sort of out on the road with the band right now. Blue hired me to be the nanny for Deacon’s son, Max, and Tyler Blue’s daughter, Lizzie.”
Crystal’s gasp shot across the receiver. “Holy wow! Are you serious right now?” She laughed in clear amazement. “No wonder you’re not jumping to come back to this sleepy old town. Talk about an opportunity!”
Hannah nodded, still somewhat in shock herself. “Don’t get me wrong, Crys, I love Willow Creek, and I loved working at the church. When I graduated, I always assumed I’d find a permanent place there, or in a nearby preschool, working with a ton of children. Never in a million years would I’ve imagined myself as a long-term nanny, much less for a famous country band. But Crystal…I love it here. I really, really do.”
“I can hear that in your voice.” A heavy, dramatic sigh flooded her ear, and she could hear her friend’s smirk when she said, “I’ve got no shot of changing your mind, do I?”
Hannah grinned and looked up to where Sherry was seated near the window. She’d meant what she said; she loved touring with the band and hoped they’d ask her to stay for the international leg. More importantly, she was in love with Deacon.
By staying with Blue—and possibly, maybe, hopefully one day becoming Max’s stepmother—she could still make a difference in the world, right? Maybe not with hundreds of children like she’d once imagined, but with a few special children, in particular.
“I’m sorry, but no.”
Crystal groaned over the line. “This is so not fair. The employer side of me wants to talk you out of it, because I know what an incredible asset I’m losing. This job is perfect for you, a brand-new ministry you can really sink your teeth into. But the friend side of me is so dang happy for you, sweetheart. I’m happy because you sound happy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so excited before.”
“That’s because I’ve never been this excited before,” Hannah confessed. “Being here with Deacon makes me happy. Happier than I ever thought I could be.” She popped up on her toes and bit the corner of her lip. “In this crazy ride called life, isn’t that all we can ask for?”
…
Deacon braced a hand against the side of the bus and sucked in air. That simple, innocent question reverberated in his brain, knocking the wind right out of him.
All she can ask for?
Guilt reached down his throat and wrenched his stomach with its fist. He’d made a promise long ago that he’d always look out for Hannah. She was his light in a hard, dark world. She was laughter and silly songs, fresh-baked muffins and candy-scented skin. His calm in the chaos, and the only real mother his son had ever known.
When she’d left for Paris, he’d vowed he wouldn’t ever let his selfishness touch her again. He wouldn’t let her put his needs before her own, and he’d felt confident in that vow because he never made the same mistake twice. Yet that call had confirmed different. For the first time in his life, he’d retraced his steps. Failed with the exact same move.
He was trapping her.
What kind of man let his woman abandon her dreams…twice? Ever since he could remember, Hannah had wanted to start an arts program for kids in Willow Creek. Drama had changed her life in high school; he’d witnessed it. While he used to spin tales about performing on stage, she’d fantasized about teaching children the same skills she’d learned. He’d always known about her plans. He’d just conveniently forgotten.
No, it was worse than that. He’d been so focused on his needs and what he wanted—her by his side, believing in him like she always did—that he’d ignored hers. He’d allowed her to settle. Sure, he’d heard her say she was happy here, that she loved being a nanny, but how long could that really last?
They were still dealing with the fallout of his last screw up. The only reason he’d even overheard her phone call was because he’d ducked out of an interview early to take her and Max to lunch. As if another meal would help anything. Who’s to say the next time he messed up, it wouldn’t be Hannah paying the price, even more than she already was?
Deacon hung his head. He should’ve known any life he could offer wouldn’t be good enough. Hannah had always been out of his league; he’d been a fool to pretend otherwise. He could spend the rest of his life trying and still never be worthy of her, because she deserved everything. She certainly deserved better than a life in the shadows of a tour bus.
The wind kicked up, and Deacon kicked a stone on the ground. The problem was, Hannah wouldn’t admit she was stuck. When she gave her word to someone, she stayed faithful 100 percent. It didn’t matter if the president himself was on the phone, offering her a job with the department of education, Hannah wouldn’t have accepted it. She would settle for a life she didn’t necessary love out of misplaced loyalty.
No, she’d never leave on her own accord. Not without a push.
Deacon fisted his hair. The only thing he knew for sure was that he never should’ve crossed that line. He couldn’t regret it—the last few weeks had been the best weeks of his life. But he should have known it wouldn’t last forever.
The band would be fine. If Hannah went back to Willow Creek, a replacement would come. Even though it’d be impossible to find someone even half as good as her, or a nanny who fit them as well as she did, they’d be okay. Max would be sad, but he’d always have her in his life. Hannah loved him like her own flesh and blood, and even if she ended up hating his father, she’d make Max a priority. The only question mark was him.
As he fell back against the bus, a potential solution came to his mind. It was risky. If it blew up in his face, he could lose her completely. Just the possibility made him nauseous. But if it led to Hannah being happy, then he had to try.
At least it wasn’t too late to correct his first repeated mistake.