Almost an hour later, Anna was dressed again, feeling the most relaxed she had in weeks. God, Beckett really knew what to do with his hands. And he seemed to always know the right thing to say. Her family was going to die when they found out.
Her stomach clenched as she walked to the front door, waiting for Beckett to return from the kitchen. Her family. What was she supposed to tell them? Or when? After Tom, she’d decided to take a break from men, and her family had agreed with her.
She needed to move on in other ways. To get her life back to normal. And now here she was potentially starting over with someone else. Sure, it had been months. And yes, it was Beckett, not a random acquaintance or someone she’d just met.
But still. Telling them meant this was official. No going back.
She blew out a breath when Beckett appeared at the door with a picnic hamper.
“Is this dinner?” she asked.
“Yes.”
It was just like Beckett. Just like him—and she’d never realized it before.
He took her hand and led her to the truck, opening the door for her when she reached it.
“You planned this,” she said.
His eyes crinkled with his smile. “I did.”
“I told you, you’re the one who’s a mystery,” she told him as she got inside.
He deposited the hamper in the bed of the truck and then got in the driver’s seat. “Trying to keep you on your toes.”
“Why?”
“So you don’t look at this like a friendship anymore.” He glanced over, looking like he was choosing his words carefully. “So you’ll give this a chance.”
She clicked her seatbelt into place, mulling over his words as he started the truck and turned away from the house.
“I’m giving this a chance,” Anna said. “I want to give this a chance.”
She held in the rest of what she could have said. But it’s hard. But I’m scared. But relationships with me never seemed to work out.
Beckett deserved all of her. If he could believe this might work, she could try, too.
He clasped her fingers in his, casting her one of his dimpled smiles. “Good.”
“So where are we going?”
“I’m not going to tell you. You know, to keep up the mystery.”
She grinned at him. “Ah. But I’m pretty sure you didn’t plan what happened back there in your house.”
“No. No, I didn’t plan that. For before dinner or after.”
Neither had she. All she knew was that she’d wanted Beckett. She hadn’t considered whether it would be awkward or hard to meet his eyes afterward. Something inside her knew it would be perfect.
And for now, that was enough. She was willing to trust in that, and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
She rolled down the window and smiled into the sunshine, letting the wind ruffle her hair as they headed away from Beckett’s house and away from town.
{}{}{}
Beckett hadn’t lied. Anna was a mystery to him. Even before they’d ever started anything, she’d been one of the sisters he couldn’t read. Like him, Anna tended to keep a lot to herself. And maybe that’s why things had been so smooth for them before. They’d been friends, plain and simple, without complicated conversations.
But now, he wanted her words. He wanted her to open up. About her life. About the chance of leaving for France. About their relationship.
The lowering sun cast reddish highlights on her hair. It blew freely in the breeze from the window, whipping across her face.
When she tossed him a laughing smile, his gut clenched. Just an hour ago, that laughing mouth had been on his. Everywhere on him. He could still feel the heat from her lips and her breath. Still feel her entire body moving against his.
It was already too late for them to go back now. He was ready for the next steps. To tell her family, to stop with the secrets.
Anna glanced at the picnic basket. “What’s in there?”
“Dinner. It’s a surprise.”
“You’re full of surprises today.”
“It’s a good thing, right?”
She smiled. “Sometimes. Sometimes surprises are a good thing.”
“This one’s a good surprise.”
When she turned her attention back to the scenery, she leaned forward in her seat, hands touching the dashboard. “This looks like the place we used to come to when we were kids.”
“It is.”
He pulled the truck to a stop at the edge of the clearing and grabbed the picnic basket before he got out. Anna had already opened the door when he reached her side, taking in everything.
“I’ve never seen it from this side,” she said.
He pointed. “There’s the trail we used to hike on. The one that leads to the house. That’s where we built that fort one summer.”
“I remember. Summer tried to help and one of the logs fell on her. We all thought she had a concussion and your parents threatened to make us stay away from the fort from then on until Summer told them she’d had the best day of her life.”
Beckett chuckled. “That’s right. Me and Eli carried her the whole way back and Jillian kept saying we should have built a stretcher out of our backpacks.”
“She was practical even back then.”
“You want to look around?” Beckett asked.
“Please.”
He captured her hand and led her to the trees, setting the basket down as they reached the edge of the clearing. The sun vanished behind the clouds, giving them a reprieve from the warmth, and he watched as Anna wandered closer to the forest.
“Which one was it?” she asked, branches cracking under her feet.
He glanced over. “What?”
“The tree we buried the time capsule at.”
He pulled on her hand and led her to the nearest pine tree, where he’d set the metal box.
“Oh my God, Beckett! Is this it?”
She dropped to her knees, reaching for the box.
“I dug it up this morning. I thought you might want to see it.”
Of course he’d had to dig a few other holes first before he’d found the box. It had been buried there for fifteen years, holding mementos he and each of the Keller children had put in there to rediscover in the future.
“I can’t believe you did this.” She opened the box, brushing aside dirt that clung to the lip. She pulled out a quarter. “Eli put it in here because Dad always used to twirl a quarter in between his fingers.”
He remembered Mr. Keller and the quarters well. He crouched next to Anna. “What else?”
“Summer’s pony.” She grinned at the small stuffed pony that had dirt stains on the muzzle. “Poppy drew a picture…though you can’t really tell what it is now.”
“And I’m pretty sure you put in cookies you baked.” Beckett grinned at her. “Guess some little critter got to them. The box wasn’t closed all the way when I found it.”
She laughed and unwound another paper that had been rubber banded. “I remember that. And here’s our list. Remember our list? We all got to write one thing we wished for before we buried the capsule.”
“Eli said a camera. I remember which one he wanted, too.”
Looking at the list, she nodded. “That’s right. And Summer wanted a sketchbook. Poppy said a garden because she was so jealous of yours. And I said I wanted cooking lessons.”
“What about Jillian?”
Anna glanced up, tears shimmering in the corners of her eyes. “She said she wished Dad would get better.”
Beckett reached out, rubbing her back. They’d written their list just after her father’s first heart attack. It had been a blow to him as much as the Keller children.
Anna returned the paper to the box and they both stood. She turned, arms coming around him, cheek resting on his chest. “Thank you, Beckett.”
“You’re welcome.”
He listened to her breathing and the wind through the trees, allowing himself to hope for dozens of moments like this in the future. When Anna finally eased back, she looked up and angled her head.
“What did you wish for?”
“I didn’t write anything on the list?”
She shook her head.
Beckett scratched his cheek, trying to remember. That had been so long ago. “I think I was too busy digging the hole. And then it started raining so we had to hurry.”
“That’s right.” She pulled away and ducked down to the box again. “We should add your wish now.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Now?”
“Yes.” She took out the piece of paper. “What do you wish for right now, Beckett?”
He stared into her eyes and said the most honest thing that came to him. “You.”
{}{}{}
Anna reclined on the flannel blanket Beckett had set out for them in the clearing as the sun sank behind the mountains. Her heart and her stomach were full.
The evening remained warm, and she closed her eyes, feeling more at peace than she had in weeks. She still couldn’t believe Beckett had dug up the time capsule. She wasn’t normally a sentimental person, which had worked great for Tom, but she was quickly turning into one with Beckett around. And for now, she was all right with that.
“There are still some strawberries,” Beckett said, voice deep next to her.
“I’d explode. There’s no room.” Anna smiled, keeping her eyes closed. “I can’t remember the last time I had fried chicken.”
“It’s from that place your mom likes so much.”
Anna opened her eyes, surprised to find Beckett leaning his head on his hand and staring at her. He reached out, brushing a finger down her cheek.
“Is that where you got the idea for the picnic?” Anna asked.
When he gave her a blank look, she said, “Did you get the idea for the picnic from my mom?”
“No. The idea was all mine.”
She grinned. “You get points for that.”
She’d never gone on a picnic with Tom. It’d wrinkle one of his expensive suits. Or the bugs would bother him. Or the sun would give him a headache. God, she’d been so caught up in his world.
Maybe—no, for sure—she’d lost part of her herself. The young girl who’d loved picnics and hiking and being outside in the sunshine with people she cared about.
Beckett caught her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles. “What else do I get points for?”
“Just being you.” She leaned in to kiss him, still reeling over how good that contact felt. How Beckett had changed so much in her eyes since a few weeks ago. “For reminding me how much I missed stuff like this.”
“We’re going to have to do this more, then. It’ll be easier when we tell your family.”
She tensed, hand flexing in his. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. At least not right now.”
She didn’t miss the muscle flexing in his jaw, or the way his eyes dropped to the blanket before meeting hers. “I don’t see why not.”
“It’s…” She swallowed, searching her mind for a way to make this make sense to him. “We’re just starting this. Starting us.”
He nodded, relaxing some and running his thumb in circles on her palm. “We are. And your family is so much a part of you, it makes sense. In fact, they’re a part of me, too. A big part. Keeping this from them—”
“Is best.”
“For who?”
“For—for everyone.” She resisted the urge to pull her hand away. This was what she was trying to avoid. Tension. If it was someone else, it’d be too early to tell her family. Too soon to introduce him into her life. At least until she had her head on straight and knew where her heart lay.
But with Beckett…everything was backward.
“So we’re supposed to keep this a secret?” Beckett asked.
Yes.
“Not forever,” she said instead. It was a compromise.
He ran his fingers up her arm, giving her the chills. “So I can’t come visit you at work?”
“Of course you can. You have been already.”
“And when I want to touch you, to kiss you, I have to keep my hands to myself?”
“You can touch me now.”
Heat flickered in his gaze, eyes locking with hers. “Anna,” he said softly, a note of warning in his voice.
“Beckett,” she countered.
“I don’t want secrets. I want to be able to touch you when we see each other. To have you and your family over to my house at the same time and not have to stand on the other side of the kitchen wishing you were in my arms.”
Her breath lodged in her throat. When he said it like that, she wanted it too. She wanted all of him. But that meant giving all of herself, and she’d been there before. It hadn’t worked then, so how in the world could she believe it might work now?
Her cell phone rang. She normally would have ignored it while she was in the middle of a conversation, but this time she grasped at it like a lifeline. Something to take her away from a discussion that was tying her heart in knots.
When she looked at the number, her stomach clenched even tighter.
“Who is it?” Beckett asked.
She looked up, the answer jumbling in her mouth.
When she didn’t answer, he said, “Tom?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t answer it,” Beckett said.
Her gaze jerked to his. “I need to deal with this eventually.”
“And you will. But this is bordering on harassment. I wish—”
He sat up, running his hand through his hair and not finishing what he was going to say.
Anna let the call go. She wasn’t ready to talk to Tom yet. And right now, she wasn’t having much luck with Beckett either. He saw way too much. Sometimes it felt like he wanted too much. Beckett deserved someone who could give him everything, and she wasn’t sure she could.
Reaching deep for the calm she’d felt earlier today, Anna touched Beckett’s jaw. “What do you wish?”
His eyes looked so dark from here. Even this close. The sun had vanished and the sky swirled with purples and reds and oranges. Why couldn’t they just get back to where they’d been ten minutes ago? Happy. Peaceful.
And keeping the secret Beckett didn’t want to keep.
He caught her hand, pulling it away from his cheek to hold it in his own. “I wish you’d let me help you. With Tom. And the rest…”
He sighed and didn’t continue again. The rest, meaning their relationship. Telling her family. Couldn’t he understand how big a step that was for her?
A cricket chirped nearby, breaking the silence.
“Shit,” Beckett said, squeezing her hand. “This was supposed to be relaxing. Forget it. Forget all of it for now.”
For now. That was the problem. This wasn’t going to go away. Not until she fixed it. Tom. Her budding relationship with Beckett. And her own little secret about France.
“Anna,” Beckett said, bringing her attention back to him. “You okay?”
She boosted some energy into her smile. “You’re right. We should forget it for now.”
Conflict still raged in his eyes, but he only reached out for her, pulling her into his lap. “You should eat some strawberries.”
She laughed, the knot unfurling in her belly. “I think I might have a little room. But first…”
She shifted to straddle him. He exhaled, hands finding her hips, squeezing with a possessive pressure that sent a thrill through her. Anna blocked all her worries from her mind and kissed Beckett with everything she had.