For the first time in over a year, Anna called in sick to work. She hadn’t even skipped work when she’d found out about Tom. She hadn’t skipped work on the day she was supposed to get married.
But she couldn’t face the world today.
She locked herself in her room as she heard Poppy getting ready. She couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t face what had happened last night. No one had mentioned anything at dinner, pretending like Beckett had never revealed their secret. But it all had to come out sometime. That she’d kept the relationship from them. That Beckett hadn’t waited until she was ready.
Anna pulled her laptop off her nightstand and turned it on. She owed Celeste an email. But when it finally came up, her fingers hovered over the keyboard, unmoving. She didn’t know what to say.
Moving to France was taking the easy way out, wasn’t it? But Anna deserved a little easiness in her life. She deserved to have a new place and a new job to get her back on her feet.
She typed, Thinking about it in the subject line and then paused again.
Her heart and her mind fought an exhausting battle, and she didn’t want to be involved. She wanted someone to decide for her.
Finally, Anna put her fingers to the keys and typed a brief message. I’m still thinking about your offer to come live there with you. It sounds like a great opportunity, but I need to take some time and make sure it’s the right choice. Either way, it would be fun to come visit sometime. Love, Anna
She sent the email before she could change her mind and then stood up. The room was still dark and she opened the blinds, forcing herself to face the day. She dressed slowly, debating. It was tempting to mope in her room all day. But Anna wasn’t much of a moper. She was a do-er, and doing meant figuring out how to face everyone.
When she pulled on a light sweater, she heard a knock at the front door. She froze, images of Beckett flashing through her mind.
No, he would have called if he were going to come. But Tom wouldn’t.
Anna clenched her teeth together. It had better not be Tom.
She ventured to the living room, ready to peek through the peephole when her phone rang. She grabbed it off the counter and saw her mom’s number.
When she answered, her mom laughed. “Open the door. I know you’re in there.”
Anna blew out a breath and opened the front door. Her mother stood there with two bags in her hands and a wide smile.
“Morning,” she said cheerfully.
Anna angled her head, stuffing her phone in her pocket. “What are you doing here?”
“Since you weren’t feeling well,” Gail said with another smile, “I brought provisions.”
“I—I’m not really sick, Mom, I just—”
“Need a break. Yes, I get it. Are you going to let me in?”
“Oh.” Anna stepped back and took one of the bags from her mom. “Sorry, why are you here again?”
“Honey…” Gail set her bag on the kitchen counter and turned to her daughter, concern in her eyes. “I’m here because you need someone to talk to. You need to let someone help take care of you. No, don’t get defensive. It’s not because I think you’re weak or you can’t handle yourself. It’s because I don’t want you to be stressed or hurting, and sometimes talking about it helps.”
Anna swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and gave in, letting her mom wrap her arms around her.
When she eased back, Gail already had a tissue ready to press into her hand.
“Sit,” Gail instructed, and Anna did what she was told. “Now, talk to me while I make some tea.”
Anna folded her legs up on the couch, squeezing the tissue tight in her hands while her mom started the water on the stove.
“You heard what happened last night,” Anna said.
Gail glanced over. “Summer said Tom showed up at the restaurant and things got a little tense.”
“A little tense,” Anna murmured, shaking her head. “Yeah, you could say that. I thought they were going to fight.”
“Who?”
“Tom and Beckett and Eli.”
Gail brought over a plate of croissants and tapped her bright pink fingernails against her lips. “I have to say, Tom has it coming.”
“Mom.”
Gail held up her hands. “Just an observation. Besides, I hear that he’s been bothering you.”
Anna shrugged.
“Then it has to be pretty bad if you won’t even talk about it.”
Anna looked up. “Did Summer tell you the rest?”
“Yes.”
She groaned and buried her face in a pillow. Of course she had. But why did it matter now? Everyone else knew, her mom might as well, too,
“Not much of a secret, you two,” Gail said, rising again and returning to the kitchen.
When Anna peeked out from behind the pillow, her mom was pulling mugs from the cupboard. She narrowed her eyes, making Gail laugh.
“You and Beckett,” she said.
Anna crossed her arms. “I know who you’re talking about.”
“Anna. You think I didn’t notice? He watches you wherever you go, looks at you like…like your father looked at me.”
She felt that familiar clench in her heart. The one that told her how she really felt about Beckett. The one that was always followed by another familiar flicker of hurt when she remembered how many times she’d given her heart and it was stomped on.
When her mom returned to the couch with two mugs of tea, Anna held hers tight until the heat made her wince.
“So why was it a secret?” Gail asked.
“I think…he wants more than I can give. He told me he loves me.”
Gail nodded. “I know he does. What did you say?”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“How do you feel?”
Anna swallowed and distracted herself with the tea bag, dumping it over and over in the water. “Scared.”
“Beckett isn’t Tom.”
“I know.”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to try again.”
“There’s more,” Anna said miserably.
Gail reached out and set her hand on Anna’s. “Tell me.”
“Celeste emailed me. She said her roommate is moving out and she invited me to stay with her. In France. And I…I’m thinking about it.”
Gail’s expression didn’t change. No judgment or anger that Anna would be leaving the family and the business. “Naturally. It’s new and different and came at a time in your life when everything else is changing for you.”
“But…” Anna swallowed, lifting her eyes to her mother’s compassionate ones. “The bakery. And all of you.”
“There are other people who know how to make cakes, Anna. That’s why you were training Leah. So we’d have extra hands. And there are planes so we could come visit—or the other way around. If you really wanted to go, we’d all support you.”
“Not Poppy. She’s pissed because I didn’t tell you all sooner. And—”
“She’s hurt,” Gail said. “Because you’re her best friend and she doesn’t want you to go.”
Anna sipped her tea, letting her mom’s words settle.
Gail rubbed Anna’s arm. “Start with one thing at a time. How do you feel about Beckett?”
“I think…” The words stuck in her throat. She cared so much for Beckett, but she was afraid it wasn’t going to work out.
“You love him.”
Anna’s eyes filled with tears. “I do. But what if–”
“No what-ifs. You have to be strong. If you really care about him, and you want to see a future with him, then you have to take that next step—even if it’s to commit to waiting it out. But you have to do it all the way. Be there for him like he’s there for you, and understand that this is new for him, too.”
Anna nodded. It was new for him. They were friends for so long and now they were both exploring uncharted territory. And he was doing a far better job at it than her.
“Come on,” Gail said, lifting a plate. “Eat something and we’ll figure out the rest.”
{}{}{}
He’d screwed it up. The whole night. Tom had provoked him, sure, but he’d been an ass. He wanted to prove to Tom how easy it was for Anna to move on. And yeah, selfishly, he wanted the secret out.
He walked into the bakery just before lunch, hoping he might be able to take Anna out somewhere to explain. To fix this.
Leah stood at the counter helping a customer and he waited a moment before gesturing to the kitchen. “I’m going to go on back.”
She shook her head. “Anna’s not here. Or are you picking something up?”
“No.” He waited while she finished with the customer and then stepped up to the counter. “You think she’ll be back soon?”
“I’m not sure she’s going to be coming in. Jillian said something about her not feeling well?”
“She didn’t come in at all?”
“Nope.”
Beckett frowned. Anna was sick? Or was it what had happened last night?
“Thanks,” he told Leah and left.
He’d check in with Jillian and see what was going on. But when he got to the main office, she was meeting with a bride and her family. He waited for several minutes, but it didn’t look like the meeting was going to be over anytime soon.
With a sigh, he headed to the next store down to see if he could find out anything from Poppy. Her hands were deep in potting soil when he walked in.
She gave him a smile. “Hey. Look at my new plants.”
He scanned them and nodded, but couldn’t find it in himself to take much interest. “Is Anna at home?”
“She said she wasn’t feeling well when I left this morning. I haven’t seen her since, so I bet she’s still there.”
Beckett leaned against the counter, debating whether or not it was smart to visit her. “Like a cold or something more serious?”
Poppy smiled. “I think she’s just stressed and needed a break. I probably should have checked in on her but…” She sighed. “I guess I didn’t think she’d want me to.”
“Poppy, you guys have to talk this out. Neither of you is happy about what’s going on.”
“She’s thinking of moving to France, Beckett—”
“I know.”
“And she wasn’t telling anyone.”
“I know,” he repeated. Which hurt him, too. He wished that Anna would be open with him about that at least. “But we weren’t telling her things, too.”
Poppy frowned. “That’s not the same thing. We were just…trying to help her. With the wedding not going through and her feeling so bad, I didn’t want to make it worse. We weren’t doing anything wrong—just making it easier for her to move on.”
“And talking behind her back even when she was suspicious, and—”
“Beckett,” Poppy said, pulling her hands out of the pot and walking to the sink to wash them. “It’s not a big deal.”
“I need to tell her.”
He heard a noise at the back of the store and froze when he saw Anna, eyes wide and cheeks pale.
“I think you just did,” Anna whispered. She turned on her heel and walked from the store.
“Anna, wait!” he called.
Poppy’s eyes were wide. “How long do you think she was standing there?”
“I don’t know.”
Beckett ran after Anna, calling her name. She’d made it all the way to her van before he could get her to stop.
“Please, Anna, just listen.”
She spun around, eyes flashing. “I knew something was going on.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Secrets are pretty much always what you think. Something you don’t want the other person to know.”
“You didn’t tell me about France, what’s that then?” he asked.
She reeled back like he’d slapped her. “Not a secret! I was conflicted. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I wouldn’t have just run off without telling you. And if—if things had worked out with us—I wouldn’t have gone. It wouldn’t have been an issue.”
He ran his hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “I should have told you. But, still, it’s not—”
“Not a big deal? You and Poppy were—what? Just conspiring to get my mind off of Tom? You thought I needed some help getting past it, so you planned things behind my back. You—” Her eyes widened again like she was piecing it all together. She started pacing, wringing her hands in front of her. “That’s why you kept coming to help me, isn’t it? You were pretending like it was because you were interested in me, but it was just an assignment—”
“That’s not true.”
“Then why did you need to keep it a secret?” She stopped pacing and swallowed, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Jillian knew about it, too, didn’t she? And probably Eli.”
“We were all trying to help. And it has nothing to do with how I feel for you.”
She licked her lips and shook her head. “God, I feel like an idiot. All of you knew about this—that’s why everyone kept whispering about things and planning dinners at Pearl’s and—”
“They did it because I wasn’t sure how to—to do this. To show you how I felt for you.”
“Talking to me might have been a good start,” Anna murmured.
Beckett opened his mouth to say something else, but he wasn’t sure what would make the situation better. A stray tear slipped down her cheek and he stepped closer, trying to touch her.
Anna backed away. “I don’t—no, just stay there. I thought…I thought I could trust you, Beckett.”
“You can,” he said.
She shook her head again. “I don’t think so.”
With a yank, she had the door open and she got inside. He appealed to her through the open window. “Can we talk? Please?”
“No.” Her voice broke on the word. “Just leave me alone.”
With that, she drove from the parking lot, her car disappearing from view around the corner. He scuffed his foot on the pavement and then shoved his hand through his hair again.
Space. That’s all. She needed space and then he’d try again. He’d lay it all out there and hope she’d listen.