Truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. The truth about my relationship with Josie Jensen grows murkier every day. In the past, I was her best friend and confidant. Today, I’m on her official shit list.

This fact is evident when she ignores me for two hours straight while we serve as best man and maid of honor at our friends’ wedding. If looks could kill…I wouldn’t be dead yet. No, that would be too kind.

Instead, she tosses frosty looks in my direction. Each has a chill factor of ten below. She’s mentally flash frozen my balls twice.

And I deserve it. I gave into temptation and let myself have the thing I wanted most in the world. That deeper connection that only happens when your best friend laughs at your jokes and then gets naked with you.

Little does she know, I’d sacrifice my soul to make her happy. I can’t be honest with Josie about my true feelings and sabotage her future. She deserves a perfect life and I can never give her that.

“What did you do to piss my sister off?” Leo asks and takes a champagne glass from the tray of a passing waiter.

I roll my shoulders back. “Nothing. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

This is my answer because I’d rather eat glass than tell Leo that his sister and I had sex. It’s better that he assumes she and I haven’t crossed any lines.

“You’re a bad liar,” he says. “Been there, man. She’s given me that same disgusted look when I’ve made her mad. I think I know exactly what’s wrong with you and Josie.”

Ah hell. Does he know something?

He takes a drink from his glass and waits for an answer. After a full minute of silence, he shakes his head. “I used to think the two of you would end up together. But I get it. You know too much about her and there’s no sexual attraction. Like she’s your sister, right?”

“Mmm hmm,” I say and look away. I can’t decide if he’s actually obtuse or he’s trying to goad me into admitting something.

My gaze skirts the area as I attempt to find Leo’s twin among all the guests. There’s really nowhere to hide since we’re out in the open.

It was a great outdoor wedding, an homage to the groom who owns a landscaping business. The DJ plays some Michael Bublé, and a crowd gathers on a flagstone dance floor in the middle of the back lawn. The bride and groom dance slowly with the glow of torches surrounding them.

“When is Kiley due?” Leo asks in a hushed voice so only I can hear.

“I don’t know. Nine months?”

Leo chuckles at my answer. “Did you fail anatomy class? I think she’s already a few months along.” He pauses. “I hope this marriage lasts. That’s a helluva rocky way to start one. Marriage is tough enough without that complication at the beginning.”

I frown at his pessimism. “I think they’ll be fine. They’ll have more to love with a baby.”

Leo sputters on the drink he’s taken. “That’s poetic. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

I spot Josie and raise my hand high, waving her over. She gives a tight smile and turns in the opposite direction.

Josie knows I want to talk to her, evident by the way she’s avoiding me. We have to make amends. Go back to being friends.

Although it’s a black and white scene—all the bridesmaids wearing black dresses and the groomsmen in black tuxes—I should be able to spot her again.

Josie, as maid of honor, wears a different dress from the other girls. Her dress is long, so she stands out. But that’s how it would be with Josie no matter what.

Her black silk dress dips in the back, so low I question if she’s wearing panties. She’s nearly showing ass cleavage, not something I’d complain about if I were alone with her. But out here? It’s indecent. Where’s Leo’s sense of brotherly indignation when it’s warranted?

Finally, she appears at a rectangular table placed off to the side of the dance floor. As if we have this extrasensory pull, her gaze locks onto mine.

Fat chance on going back to the way things were between the two of us—best buds. Her look says it all, a wordless curse. I am dog shit on the bottom of her sexy shoes.

She’s bent over talking to the reception’s deejay, a kid with a thin mustache resembling something he drew with a Sharpie. Punk. The guy probably sports a boner from his view of Josie every time she leans over and reads the laptop screen hooked up to the sound system.

No maid of honor should look as hot as she does. It’s really not fair to the bride, even though the dress mimics the bride’s gown.

The bride’s father grabs the mic and requests that we all be seated at the tables. Leo and I follow directions like good groomsman. The round table seats eight. Our buddy Aiden and his fiancée, Makenna are already seated, along with her boy Ryder. Leo’s girlfriend Harper strolls over and takes the seat beside him.

Two empty seats remain, and I notice a couple of bridesmaids walking toward our table. I take off my tux jacket and place it in the seat nearest me.

Then to my relief, Josie heads our way. Finally. She stops and leans over to give Harper a hug.

“Hi there,” she says to Harper without so much as a side-eye in my direction. “You guys having fun? I love the music.”

Harper reaches for Leo’s hand. “Yeah, me too. Leo promised me he’d dance.”

Leo gives an exaggerated groan.

“Josie. Saved you a seat.” I pat the chair beside me, determined to take us back to friendly terms—not as friendly as we’ve been, mind you, but friendly enough to still hang out together.

It won’t be easy.

“Oh, thanks, but I’m going to sit at Gunner and Kiley’s table.” She glances over her shoulder toward the bride and groom. “Bye. Have fun without me.”

She throws in the last words just for me. They say the people who know you best really pick the best verbal weapons.

Bulls-eye.

I can’t have fun without her. If she doesn’t sit with me, my night has just gone to hell in the form of two bridesmaids.

“Can we sit here?” the taller one says. I’m supposed to remember her name from the rehearsal dinner, but I draw a blank.

I shrug and remove my jacket from the seat. Two minutes into her seat and she’s quizzing me about my occupation and family and hobbies.

Kill me now.

I should’ve said yes when Kiley asked me to sit with them. I could be beside Josie.

Up at the head table, my buddy Gunner leans over to listen to his new bride as she whispers in his ear. He gives her a look that says it all—lust, adoration, and gratitude all rolled into one.

Save it for the bedroom, guys. There are children present.

At the far end of the head table, my buddy Aiden sits with Makenna. Both were attendants to the bride and groom today. I predict his wedding will be the next one I attend.

My gaze swings back to Josie at the other end. How long will it be before some guy puts a ring on her finger? My gut churns.

The bride’s father grabs a mic and instructs everyone to sit. That’s my cue. No time for me to be some sap feeling sorry for himself. As best man, I have a duty to say something witty about this new stage in their lives. I tap my spoon against the champagne glass and wait for everyone to fall silent. “If I can have your attention, I’d like to toast the new Mr. and Mrs. Gunner Parrish.”

Gunner gives a grin. I’ve not seen this guy smile so much. It’s a little on the eerie side. My gaze travels down the head table past him. I wink at Kiley. Josie sits next to her…looking at a wedding program as if she’s bored with my little speech already.

Damn. You’ve got to be kidding me.

All the guests wait for me to continue, so I shake off the feeling that she’s really not going to forgive me.

“I’ve known Gunner Parrish since second grade. He was tall and quiet. Never said much unless it was important. Come to think of it, things don’t change much.”

There’s a low chuckle among the guests. Kiley links her arm through Gunner’s elbow.

I continue and focus on Kiley instead of worrying if Josie is paying attention. “He and I both wanted to marry our pretty young teacher Mrs. Salinger. So, we decided the only way to pick who got the honor was to run a race from the back of my house to the old tree house at the edge of the property a good half-mile away. Leo sat on the back steps with notebook and pencil…because, well because he’s Leo.”

Now the crowd laughs, thoroughly getting into my story.

“Gunner got into position, leaning forward. I got ready to beat him because we’ve always been a little bit competitive. Josie was there and she waved a piece of cloth like it was a starting flag at a racetrack. We took off, matching strides, huffing and puffing. Before long, I noticed he slowed down. Then I slowed. Then he stopped, so I stopped. I yelled at him for trying to let me win. He yelled that he really didn’t want to marry Mrs. Salinger, but he sure was happy for me if I did. Thing is, Gunner,” I say and look pointedly at him, “I realized you were letting me win. Because you’re that kind of guy. The kind of person who is faithful to friends—fierce to protect the people he cares about. The first day I saw Gunner and Kiley together on that reality show…I knew bachelorhood was over for him. They say that some things are written in the stars and I never knew what that meant. But I’ve never been the philosophical sort. I know what it means now. He took one look at Kiley and his future was written.”

I pause, not because I’m some great orator, but because the audience stares at me as if I’m disclosing the secrets of the universe. It’s unnerving for all of a second and then I look at Kiley. Her smile is worth all the ragging I’ll get later over my little speech, so I continue. “I’ve never met anyone more right for Gunner, more willing to sacrifice, more in-tune to what he needs. So today I toast the marriage of two people who start a life of commitment, of love and friendship, of holding each other through the hard times when you are each other’s safe place. I wish you all the best—a lifetime of love and beautiful babies to share it with.”

Silence blankets the audience. I glance over to Josie and she swipes a finger across the corner of her eye.

“And I’m one-hundred percent certain he’d trip me if we were running a race with Kiley as the prize. Cheers!” I hold my champagne glass up.

Kiley’s dad stands and holds up his glass. “Well said.” The sound of clinking glasses fills the air.

I’m alarmed when Josie rises from her seat and rushes past the end of the table. I set my glass down as subtly as possible and follow her to the end of the lawn, past the white billowy tents.

She disappears from view, so I jog toward the house, the only place she can be headed. The French doors off the back patio are unlocked, so I let myself in.

“Josie?” I walk toward the front rooms. It’s a monster of a house, but I know my way around since coming to Kiley’s parties here as a teenager.

There’s no sign of Josie in the kitchen or the living room. I stroll toward a bathroom on the first floor. The closed door lets me know it’s occupied, so I wait. And wait.

And wait.

Maybe she’s sick and I’m standing out here like an idiot. Or it could be another guest and that would make me a bigger idiot. “Josie? Is that you in there?”

“For crying out loud. Can’t a girl go to the bathroom in peace?” She pulls the door open but doesn’t attempt to leave. “There are seven bathrooms in this house. Go find another one.”

“We need to talk.” This doesn’t produce more than a hard stare from her.

“No. We don’t.” She attempts to close the door in my face. Voices sound from somewhere inside the house, so I gently push the door open and step inside. My feet bump against hers.

She takes an irritated breath, steps back, and closes her eyes. “I don’t know what to say to you anymore.”

“Why? You’ve never had a problem in the past.”

“That was before…before…” Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath. “You know what? I have something to say to you after all.”

“Why do I feel like this is bad news for me?”

She lifts her chin. “You treated me like you have every other girl in the world and I didn’t expect that. I thought you respected me more. I thought we were friends.”

I handled it wrong by avoiding her afterward. She deserves a guy who’ll give her everything—the things I said tonight in my toast.

“We are friends,” I answer. “And that’s why I can’t ruin it. You’ve been my best friend since we were kids.” I’m not feeding her a line.

“Then why pretend it didn’t happen? Why no phone calls or visits lately?”

The infamous ‘it’ happened a couple of Saturdays ago. It all began innocently enough. A few drinks. Dim lighting and a good movie.

One minute I was teasing her about her movie selection and the next I’m kissing her. My hands were inside her clothes. She was tugging on my belt.

It was hot and desperate like we both were starved for something and didn’t know until that moment that we needed it.

The next thing I knew, we woke up Sunday morning in my bed, clothes strung across the floor. Her white lacy bra hung lazily over my headboard, so at home in my bedroom.

We had a connection on some level I didn’t know existed. A connection beyond two people using each other to get off. She handed me a gift wrapped in euphoria and ecstasy and emotion.

And I needed to separate that shit in my head. Feelings and sex had no business playing tango.

Even if it was the hottest sex of my life.

A condom wrapper—thank God for habit ‘cause I sure was out of my mind with lust—neatly on display atop my wallet.

“I’m sorry.” I can’t even look at her now. “I never meant for us to have sex.”

“That’s obvious.” She laughs, a hint of dark in the sadness of it.

“And you planned for it to happen?” I return my gaze to hers. “Come on, Josie. You know it was a mistake. We’re too close to mess up like this. I mean, you’re like a sister to me.” This comment is real and honest. She’s at my place all the time, complaining that I don’t put the toilet seat down for her. She borrows my SUV whenever she visits the flea market for her bargain buys and needs to haul purchases home. I clean before she comes over.

The wuss factor is real.

She groans in frustration. “What if I said that’s a load of bull.”

“I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

Her eyes narrow and she jabs me in the ribs. “Oh, don’t play that card. You forgot that you have to see me the morning after. Just say it. You’re not into me. I can take it.”

If that were true, this problem would be much easier. Temptation wouldn’t haunt me every night, making me want to race over to her place and beg for more.

I tilt my head and lower my eyebrows. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No. I get it. You like them big breasted and leggy and dumb. I’m sorry I actually have an IQ with three digits. Guess brains don’t turn you on.”

“You turn me on plenty.” I allow my gaze to fall to the outline of her body in the silk dress and then I look in the mirror. The tan skin of her naked back is accented by the silky drape of dark fabric. I itch to touch her.

“Only by throwing myself at you.”

I rest my hands on her shoulders. Shoulders. A man can only have so much willpower and mine is slipping like my patience. “Listen. You are beautiful and kind. And you’re right. You’re smart. Too smart to say things like you are.”

“Don’t try to mollify me with—"

“Molli-what? See, you’re so smart. Using words I don’t even know. Now I’m gonna have to look that up on my phone.”

“You think your charm and wit can take the place of honesty. My feelings aren’t hurt. My soul is.”

Pain laces her words. Her soul? Only Josie can make me feel terrible with something I’d laugh at from anyone else.

“I’m sorrier than I’ve ever been for anything in my whole life. If I could turn back the clock—”

Josie shrugs out of my hold on her shoulders. “Spare me. I’m not Heathcliff, too stupid to focus my affections on someone else who’ll appreciate me or maybe I am stupid for thinking you were attracted to me in the first—”

“Heathcliff? Is that someone you dated?”

“Ugh! No. He’s a character in a classic book. A book you obviously pretended to read in Mr. Murray’s high school lit.”

I love it that she thinks I might know about some book dude. “You’re attractive. Let’s just take that out of this discussion. The problem is that you deserve somebody special.”

Her bottom lip trembles. “Oh, Dane. Why don’t you understand that you are special? I’ve waited so long for you to wake up and see me.”

“I do see you.”

She pushes lightly against my chest. “Why do you have to be such a jerk? I’m moving on. Do you hear me? Moving. On.”

She smashes her lips together and I know she’s going to cry.

And then I kiss her. Honestly, I’d do anything to make her stop.

Her initial response is as lukewarm as lake water in August. Her body stiffens and her hands push against my chest—but only for an instant. Then, she melts against me and her fingers curl around the lapel of my tux.

My lips press hard against hers. My hands are finally home on her sweet ass—and hell, she’s wearing a thong. I’m lost to my lust. Again.

I should know better. I shouldn’t be doing this. But putting my hands on her should prove how irresistible she is and it’s about all the logic I can muster.

She’s the one with the brains. Surely she can figure out that physical attraction isn’t the problem.

She pulls back and whispers, “I can’t stop thinking about that night.”

“Me, too.”

“Then tell me why we can’t work. The real reason.”

I rake a shaky hand over my head. “What do you want from me? What? I don’t have relationships. You know this. It’s why I don’t know what to do with you because…I care. You are my best friend.” The last statement is one that loops on repeat in my head.

“Do you really think we can stay away from each other after…” Wrinkles gather on her forehead.

And then I say it…the words that tumble out without any filters of right or wrong. If it’s the only way I can keep her, then so be it. “Maybe we could be friends with benefits.”

Her eyes widen and the hurt grows. Angry tears fill her eyes. Shit. I can’t believe I said something so stupid. I don’t even back away as her hand pops me hard on the cheek. It’s a stinging blow, enough to make a welt I’m sure.

“And you think I’m the type of person who would settle for that? I guess we’ll have to be non-fucking friends. Please leave me alone. I can’t even look at you.”

“I’m so sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Is there any way to make this better? I attempt to rub a hand down her arm and she swats mine away.

Turning to the door, she doesn’t even look back at me. “No. I’m done. You’re right. I do deserve better.”

I force myself to stay put as she walks away, telling myself that in time we’ll be friends again. We have to be. Because as stupid as I can be about a lot of things in the world, I know one thing.

I’m in love with Josie Jensen. It’s why I have to let her go.