Chapter 3

Waiting for change can be a drag, and oftentimes, it mires one in expending energy on useless mental machinations, thought Leaper. How he hated getting stuck in his own brain.

After the night he had, his life’s work as a SEAL seemed somewhat…anticlimactic for the first time in his life. Here it was morning, and he was actually at work again, and surprisingly, he found he wasn’t spending every waking minute thinking of his next step, or his Teammates, or the Teams in general.

What’s that about? Instead, Dr. Kerry Hamilton, with all of her infectious joy and her tight, luscious body, was a lot more fascinating. His body tensed in a pleasant way, and his mouth formed a grim line. Was his life changing after such a brief time? Hell, it was too soon to know. It was just… His life felt like it was moving in slow motion.

He shifted inches to the left, just barely out of the way of a bird that had flown too close.

Standing on the beach in front of the Amphibious Base, he swatted at the overzealous bird who did a second fly-by. “I’m not prey, not a bug or a crab,” he said to the bird, which landed two feet away and stared at him for several minutes before it gave up and flew off. “You cannot change your nature, and I suppose neither can I.”

Leaper knew he was more of a predator in the food chain and humanity’s hierarchy, yet he felt different around Kerry, as if another side of himself actually existed. Was that true? Could he have two parts to his nature, one as a warrior and another as something else? It was a strange thing to consider, and yet the hope felt good.

He shifted his weight and sighed. How he’d hated leaving Kerry again this morning, especially after their frolic in the water, but he had a duty to perform and he always showed up. His mind drifted toward home for one more quick thought: tucking Kerry into his warm king-size bed after their swim. Hours had passed, albeit too quickly, when his phone alarm buzzed, reminding him of his 5:00 a.m. date with a boat full of trainees, and now here he was.

Mmm, how he’d tucked the covers around her decadent body and watched her curl into a tight ball, without him by her side to keep her warm. It had taken all his strength to leave her and to not call in sick, but in truth he was worried about his boys. His gut told him that if he didn’t stand with them through this test, most of them, if not all of them, were going to get over their heads and ring out.

Looking at them now, he could see how exhausted they were from their night in the boxes. None of them looked like they were prepared for their next fresh bit of hell, but they’d shown up, so Leaper wasn’t going to disappoint them. Given an actual choice—without any possibility of losing their spot in training—every trainee would choose bed. Well, at least, we all have that in common—except I wouldn’t be sleeping.

Leaper rocked back and forth. Adrenaline surged through him. Hell, he felt downright energized. Who needed sleep after marathon lovemaking?

One of the instructors on loan from the Army Rangers, Kendall Frock, sidled up to him with a smile on his tough-guy face. His worry lines were so shocked by the change of expression that it looked as if his face were about to crack his skull open. “Lefton, I heard you had a real-time rescue. A hot number: Curvy. Tiny. With a sweet bod—” The man’s words stopped as he took in Leaper’s face. “Uh, my bad.”

Leaper nodded and signaled with his eyes that the man should go back to his boat of trainees. He wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“Yeah, uh, catch you later for a beer. On me,” said Frock as he hot-footed it back to his group. In truth, the Army guy was a good man, married to a Navy diver who had rescued the Ranger and signed on for a lifetime tour of marriage, love, and children. They’d have a chat sometime and smooth it over.

Leaper felt another presence nearby, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t poke the bear.”

“Poke. Poke. Poke.” Declan Swifton—his swim buddy, best friend, brother, and current Commanding Officer of BUD/S—laughed. “Hell, Leaper, even I heard about the hottie in the drink. Here it is. I had to come all the way out here and give you some shit before you left, but it sounds like I might as well be talking to the wind.”

“Yeah, yeah, up yours,” said Leaper with a grin. He shook hands with Declan and then gestured at his friend’s new leg. “Damn, that thing looks bionic. Probably has a better brain than you.”

“It does,” said Declan. “As long as it doesn’t take over in bed with my wife, I’m good with that. So, you might not want to hear this, but I’ve seen you on a day after, and you usually look like someone kicked your ass.” He put his arm around Leaper’s shoulders and quietly said, “This one is different, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.” Leaper scrubbed his chin with his fingers, wishing he’d had time to shave. “Let’s see how it goes.”

Declan nodded. “When you’re ready, we’re here. You know how the wife feels about you. The sooner you can bring your new lady over, before the whole affair gets discovered by my better half, the better.”

“Understood.” Leaper lowered his voice. “Uh, how did it go with Zoxt?”

“Formal reprimand. Currently at Balboa talking to the shrinks about his actions, and I recommended his next duty station be helping our science groups in Antarctica. Let’s see if the cold weather improves his Napoleon complex. Thanks for the text. I would not have been happy to be blindsided by that bullshit.” Declan held Leaper’s gaze for several seconds, and they both nodded.

The other instructors had the trainees shouting their names and dropping to the sand for fifty squats after each name. When everyone had sounded off, was accounted for, Leaper looked at Declan. “I better go drop my crew in the shark tank.”

“Nice. Have fun.” Declan winked.

Leaper smiled and then crossed the sand to his trainees. He spun one finger in the air. “Load up.”

The trainees ran to the boat as if their lives depended on it. They hustled aboard, two of them holding the boat still in the waves for Leaper to climb aboard. It didn’t bother him that he was already wet to the waist. He’d once been stuck in a hide with three men who all had food poisoning for six long days. A little moisture was a cake walk.

“Shove off,” Leaper ordered.

Several of the men pushed off and jumped aboard. Then they all paddled, hauling ass until they were free of the current trying to drag them to shore and the hurdle of the underwater sandbars. It made for good muscle strengthening.

Leaper turned on the engine. He pointed the boat toward San Clemente Island.

Out of the corner of his eye, Leaper could see the men whispering among themselves. “What?”

Watson made his way to Leaper. “We wondered what was about to happen.”

“You’ll find out. You need to get used to the fact that every experience, like every operation, has factors of unpredictability.” Leaper looked at Watson and gestured with his head, instructing the trainee to sit.

The men looked worried. Quite frankly, he didn’t blame them. He wasn’t doing the trainees any favors by spoon-feeding them ideology. They needed to sink or swim on their own merits—literally.

The closer they drew to San Clemente Island, the more clouds filled the sky until a marine layer hung over them like a giant gloomy shroud. Earlier, the night sky had been filled with brilliant, winking stars. How quickly the weather changed when you lived near the water.

Leaper knew these waters by heart, and he slowed the boat to the perfect spot and cut the engine. He could hear the other boats doing the same around him, even if he couldn’t see them clearly.

His words were succinct. “Over the side.”

“What?” asked Watson. “But—”

“Take nothing with you. Go over the side or I will toss you in myself.” Leaper wasn’t fond of the stern tone, but he couldn’t mollycoddle the recruits. If he said “Duck,” he wanted them on the ground before he finished the word. It was about trust.

The men acted quickly. Several leaned backward and fell in, two of them lowered themselves over the side, and Watson flat out jumped. The splash was huge.

“What a fucking idiot,” murmured Leaper, looking at the ripples in the water and knowing that boy might shortly regret his action.

Heads bobbed to the surface of the inky ocean. He could see their expressions—everything from cold to outright fear.

Next would come the real surprise.

Within minutes, shouts came from around them. Recruits from other boats were experiencing the glory of the San Clemente water’s inhabitants.

Leaper spied the first dorsal fin. Super. It was a lemon shark. Oh, correction—four of them. Well, that was a piece of luck. He didn’t particularly want to dive in and rescue anyone, though he knew the recruits would likely face worse in their time in the Navy, if they stayed on their current path.

Without taking his eyes from the trainees, Leaper reached into the utility box and felt around. He pulled out an extra Ka-Bar and strapped it onto his leg. Tying his signature bandana around the strap, he closed and secured the box and took up his previous position.

Several splashes close to the boat brought Leaper down to his knees. “Watson, don’t hold on. You’ve got to let go.”

“I…please…” Watson’s jerky movements emphasized his panic. Damn, the boy didn’t know what he was signaling to. Water has a way of telegraphing…

Leaper took a different approach. “Tell me, Sherlock, do you want to be a part of Special Operations?”

“Y-y-yes.” Watson’s teeth were chattering now, his whole body shaking.

“Good.” Leaper leaned over the boat, tipping it toward the trainee. “Then chill out. Get this lesson now, or you aren’t going to survive the night. So, I’ll ask you one more time. Are you ringing the bell, or are you facing that damn fear?”

“I-I-I…”

The lemon sharks were moving off. That wasn’t a good sign. The trainee’s panicky movements were attracting other creatures. Big fish. Predatory ones.

He’d never live it down if one of his trainees got eaten on his watch. He sighed for a count of three, briefly loathing the actions he was about to take next. Not because he was afraid of whatever lived in the dark, deep ocean, but that water was fucking cold! Still, he’d walk through the very fires of hell to protect his men.

God bless the thick, cloudy marine layer. Leaper took off his shirt and shoes and slid soundlessly over the side of the boat. He treaded water beside the trainee. “Watson. Listen. Breathe with me. In and out.”

Watson gulped in air. He couldn’t seem to slow his breathing. The frantic movements he had been making in the water only gained momentum.

Fuck, I want these guys to succeed.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you can’t do this.” Leaper knew it was too hard to ask a trainee to look him in the eye with this weather, but he was doing it anyway.

“Sir, I can’t see a damn thing. What if—”

“What if! Who gives a shit about what-ifs? Shut off your damn panic button. You have other senses. Use them.” Leaper lowered his voice, so only his guys could hear him. “Listen up, all of you. Sometimes life is scary. You don’t know where danger is coming from.

“Instead of panicking, settle down. Be calm. Take in your surroundings. Hear the sound of your own breath and that of your Teammates. Find peace in the ebb and flow of the water around you. Allow yourself to act and react as needed. When you feel something come toward you, something you know in your gut is not friendly, face it. Respond accordingly and with the force necessary to defeat it.

“Sometimes you need to punch a shark in the nose to realize that fear isn’t being paralyzed; it means acting with intention and awareness, with an appropriate amount of force and then you must reset yourself for the next event. Being calm, logical, and ready, with an instinctual ease, is the key to survival.” That was the life lesson of the day. If these men got this message, they might survive some of the crap coming their way.

Leaper’s crew seemed to take the words to heart as they stilled in the water. Leaper felt the change. Instead of using energy fighting themselves and their own fear, his boys were floating, relaxing. “Bravo Zulu,” he said softly, which means the job is done well.

Moving methodically around each recruit, he reached out and touched them, moved them, or signaled to them until they were following him at an easy, effective pace. When they resumed their original position, everything had changed.

“Now you understand one of your most important weapons: inner calm. If you need to strike out, make sure your aim is true.” With that, Leaper turned suddenly and slammed his fist into the nose of a tiger shark, landing an elbow in the eyeball as the creature turned away in startled, pained frustration.

“Awareness and inner calm are important states of mind, and crucial tools for survival. It protects you and your Teammates,” Leaper said as he swam back to the boat and heaved himself up and over the side. He lay on the floor of the boat, catching his breath and staring up at the heavy marine layer.

He reached for his shirt, mopped his face with it, and pulled it over his head.

“I’m getting too fucking old to be teaching life lessons and wiping asses and pampering them with diapering,” he murmured to himself before he hauled himself into a sitting position to resume watching over his flock. “Okay, men. Now, for the next step.”

* * *

At the Marine Mammal base of Operations, Kerry’s morning was busy with vet checks and preparation time in the feeding shack. She divided her ingredients into piles for a healthy, digestible dolphin meal. She sliced and diced and laid out the rest of her bounty. Then, stirring sheets of gelatin into hot water, she watched them melt. It was all rather soothing.

Her mind wandered for a few seconds. Last night with Leaper… Goodness, it had been mind-blowing. The sex, the companionship, the connection. He was seriously rocking her world.

Her fork pinged against the side of the tin as she stirred, reminding her to check on its progress.

The mixture was almost complete. Touching the side of the tin, she gauged the heat level and added a small amount of cool water before she added the fish.

It didn’t bother her in the slightest that he’d had to leave in the middle of the night. Somehow it gave her time to think and be present in his space, like a free pass to explore and absorb without observation or comment.

Now all she had to do was sniff her arm and she could smell his soap on her skin. It was a nice reminder to carry through her day, especially for her libido. But it was work time, and she needed to concentrate on what was at hand. There were issues to be dealt with and mysteries to solve.

Kerry was concerned about one of the older dolphins. Merry, who was blind and deaf, was exhibiting signs of a kidney stone. If Kerry could find the right dietary mix, it could ease her symptoms.

Merry had spent most of her life as a member of the program, and she was one of the sweetest dolphins they had. Even without two of her primary senses, Merry still enjoyed activity and responded instantly to any vibrations in the water. She was often bouncing her favorite toys around her pen and was happy to have someone join her in a game.

Sometimes a kidney stone could become stuck, and Kerry and the workers would do their best to aid in its passing. Adding several drops of oil to the gelatin mixture as a home remedy, Kerry stirred everything one last time before placing it into the refrigerator. She added a label with Merry’s name and the time it was supposed to be given.

She planned on taking two blood samples today too. Their laboratory wasn’t picking up anything unusual, but Kerry had a strange feeling something was wrong, and she planned on sending the second sample out to another facility to see what they came up with. Her gut told her the dolphin was not well.

As she cleaned up her mess, Kerry heard someone walk up behind her. A voice spoke hurriedly. “I’ve got ten minutes before I have to give my next tour. With three interns out with the flu, I’m in charge today, and let me tell you, I’ve got stacks of paperwork to catch up on. Now, give! Share the details about that deliciously hot man who dropped you and Juliet off at the dock and returned the boat.”

Kerry smiled secretively. She turned to her closest work friend, Emme Marie Stanley, and shook her head. “Can you be more specific? I couldn’t possibly share everything in ten minutes.”

“Seriously, Kerry!” Emme said exasperatedly as she towered one foot taller than her friend. “Get out more and we wouldn’t have to do these info dumps. Being married means I’m living the single life through you, though it’s more like Friends or New Girl.”

“All right, I get it,” said Kerry as she pulled her friend closer. “You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone else.”

Emme stomped her foot. “Nine minutes and counting. Spill!”

“I took Juliet out to give her a bit of exercise and to try out a new set of auditory signals. The wild dolphins, the ones I call the bad boys, came around and took Juliet out. I freaked and tried to follow her by diving into the water. The current caught me, and I ended up four miles from the boat. This…amazingly sexy man dove into the water and rescued me, and I can’t stop thinking about him. He has so much personality. I find myself smiling, just ’cause.” Kerry sat down on the nearby stool and sighed.

“Well, well, I’m upping your status to Rules of Engagement. I’m happy for you, my friend, but be careful you don’t set yourself up. Don’t let your hormones lead the chase instead of your heart and brain, unless all you want is a bit of bump and grind. Never anything wrong with that, as long as you’re sexually safe.”

“Ugh, Emme!” Heat rose in Kerry’s cheeks. “I’m a grown woman. Can’t you think about anything besides sex?”

Emme checked her watch. “Nope. So I still have a few minutes left. Tell me more.”

“He’s totally my type: athletic, tall, lean, and muscular. And his smile…man, it makes me grin too, just thinking about it.” She arched her back. “Between us, I even pulled out my favorite lacy bra-and-panty set. It’s in my bag.” Waving a hand in front of her face, she added, “Your point is valid. I don’t know a lot about him. Maybe I should slow things down and get to know him better. My libido is not thrilled with that idea, because his kisses could melt the polar ice caps.”

“Kerry, just think how much better it will be with more information. You fall too quickly. You tend to think every man you date is a keeper, and in truth, they’re pretty much all visitors, not ‘the one.’ Think about it. They check out the goods, take a sample, and keep on moving.” Emme checked her watch. “Okay. I have to go. Time to give a tour. Stay strong, girlfriend.”

“Wait, Emme—don’t you think you’re being a tiny bit cynical? Leaper didn’t strike me as that kind of guy.” Kerry felt in her gut that he was different. But maybe I’m being biased. We barely know each other. I don’t want to build him up in my mind, make him into a paragon, and then be disappointed when he falls from the pedestal.

“With a name like Leaper, I’d imagine I’m dead-on with my description.” Emme patted Kerry’s back. “Hang in there, Kerry. I could be wrong.” She paused at the door. “Oh, my brother is arriving from New York City today. Let me know if you want a hookup there.”

“No, thanks.” Kerry swallowed the knot of indecisiveness in her throat. “Have a great night.”

“You too.” Emme departed, the door banging closed behind her.

Kerry rushed her actions, and her mixture squirted her in the face. “Yuck.” She wiped her face on her sleeve.

“Fine. I will take my time and go somewhat slower.” Kerry’s shoulders slumped. Nothing about that declaration was pleasing. Her gut churned with discontentment. “Well, hell, even my body is discouraged by the pace. But it can’t be helped. This is for the best.”

The rest of the day was uneventful, though she helped Special Funding Director Joshua Boscher carry four large boxes to his car. He was helping her seek money for several pet projects, and Kerry was happy to lend him a hand.

“What do you have in here, rocks?” she teased.

“Something like that,” Boscher acknowledged with a slight smile as he secured the boxes in his vehicle. “We should be hearing about several of your applications any day now.” He slammed the lid of his trunk shut. “Just remember, if you need help with anything else, please don’t hesitate to ask me.”

“Thanks. I appreciate the help you gave me on the forms and proposals,” Kerry said. “I hope the Department of Defense and several of the sponsors think my projects are worthwhile.”

“They’d be fools not to,” said Boscher grimly. “Have a good evening, Dr. Hamilton.”

“You too.” Kerry watched the Director drive off, wondering what Boscher did in his free time. He was a friendly guy, but he never spent time with any of the staff outside of work. Maybe he had a family or other pastimes. Checking her watch, Kerry realized Leaper would be on the way to her condo soon. She had to hustle.

She turned the engine over, pulled out of her parking spot, and headed home.

* * *

Her condo was very close to water and Kellogg Beach in Point Loma. It made the commute to work short and sweet. Kerry cued Aretha Franklin’s “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” and stripped off her clothes. She danced around as she straightened the clutter and put on clean sheets. Then she took a shower and shaved her legs, knowing it would increase her odds of having sex. Who was she kidding—Leaper would probably have sex with her even if her body was stinky and her legs were stubbly.

Ugh! Gross.

She picked out a casual outfit with an adorable bra-and-panty set for underneath and got dressed, deliberately adding only a touch of mascara and lipstick. She pursed her lips as she looked in the mirror. “That works. Now to finish straightening up.”

Fetching a handful of disinfectant wipes, she hurriedly dusted the apartment. Heavens, she wished she had more time to straighten before Leaper arrived. There were piles and stacks of research material everywhere, which suggested a strategy. Most of what she’d learned in life came from books. Could she approach a relationship in the same way? Research it and plan it, plot out a perfect romance in a step-by-step manner? This was a new concept to consider.

Kerry walked over to the bookcase and reviewed the contents. She had an entire shelf of how-to books on romance, and the rest of it overflowed with murder mysteries. Pulling several books from the pile, including Walsh’s VAK Self-Audit and Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, Kerry sat down on the floor and paged through them.

“Okay, show me your power.”

Her phone buzzed and she looked at the emails. Two different groups—one in Japan and another in Russia—were offering her a job as the director of their marine programs. She couldn’t take either one. Leaving the creatures here… It was too much. She loved her dolphins, and now there was Leaper to think of. Wasn’t that how things happened? One minute life is quiet and normal, and then it explodes with activity.

The books fell from her lap. She picked them up and resettled herself to peruse them. Right, she thought. No more work. Think about relationships and men.

* * *

To quote Kerry’s mother—and most etiquette books—“Punctuality is a sign of good manners.” Leaper arrived precisely at the scheduled time, and she had to smile. Wasn’t it a sign that he was excited to see her too?

“Welcome to my condo.” It was a tiny one bedroom, but it fit her perfectly. There was a small patio out back, and being on the ground floor was wonderfully convenient when it was grocery day. “How was your day?”

“Better than I anticipated. My trainees survived.” Leaper pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “Yours?”

“Busy. Good.” She appreciated that he was a man of his word. Keeping someone waiting was so disrespectful. She stepped back from him, knowing that if she stayed in his arms for too long, she wouldn’t have the willpower to stick to her plan.

He looked at her, puzzled. She could feel his eyes tracking her to the small open kitchen. “Kerry, I like your place. Water theme. Nice. There have to be at least a hundred shades of blue and white in here.” Spying the stack of books on the floor, he zeroed in on the only messy spot in her home: her beloved bookcase.

“Can I get you anything? Would you like something to drink?” she asked, standing next to the open refrigerator.

“Water?”

Kerry took two bottles out and closed the refrigerator. She walked back over to him and handed him a bottle. “What do you think of my treasures?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned that you’re going to murder me in my sleep or rope me into a relationship?”

“Hopefully neither. I believe in free choice.” Kerry tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “But…I do think we should get to know each other better. I, uh, have some questions I’d like to ask you.”

“And you think these questions, undoubtedly from these books, will make the difference,” he said skeptically.

“It’s a place to start.” She touched his arm. “For me. Please, Leaper.”

“Sure.” Leaper nodded and sat down on the far end of the couch. It gave him an unobstructed view of the front door. It didn’t surprise her that Leaper was one of those men who didn’t want to be ambushed from behind. She’d remember that next time they ate out.

“Hit it. I’m ready.”

“Thanks,” she said. The stress that had twisted her gut into knots all day long began to slowly dissipate.

Sitting down next to him, she kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs beneath her, shifting her body so she was facing him. She picked up a pencil and a pad of paper with her notes from all of her research and smiled.

* * *

What a bust! She knew she’d been too clinical in her approach to relationships and romance. Sure, she learned a few things, but there was nothing natural about the information process. She could have been taking a history before his prostate exam…not that she was that kind of doctor.

“What’s the verdict? Do you know me better now?” Surprisingly, Leaper wasn’t mocking her. He’d answered her questions honestly and without hesitation. Now she just felt like a jerk for pushing the idea.

“Uh, somewhat.” She sighed. Frustration at herself filled her tone with drawn-out, elongated answers. “Communication, you respond optimally with the application or use of physical contact versus abstract or direct direction. You like quality time rather than any material possessions or gifts, and you prefer auditory stimulation versus visual and that’s most likely how you learn best.” Kerry tapped her pencil against the pad of paper she’d been taking notes on.

“Makes sense. We use physical touch when we’re drawing closer to a target and use hand signals quick a bit. And, I’ve always preferred phone sex to, ah, porn, but I’ll amend those words if the striptease was someone special and happening in person.” Leaper’s mouth drew in a slow grin. “Just thought you should know, full disclosure and all.”

She could feel the blush start in her toes and practically burst out of her cheeks. The heat was intense and spreading to several wonderful places.

He winked, then tapped his head and pointed at her. “Right, my turn to sum you up. Let’s see, you prefer acts of service to positive reinforcement or affirmation, and quality time to gifts. I’m guessing you’re a visual learner, not auditory. By the look on your face, I believe I nailed those observations.”

She couldn’t fault him. He’d gotten to the heart of it.

“Do you want to try out my auditory learning?” He inched closer. “Talk dirty to me.”

She laughed. Placing the pencil and pad on the coffee table, she held up her hand to stop his movement. Then, thinking better of it, she crawled toward him. In her best sultry tone, she said, “I’m hungry. Are you?”

“Always,” he replied, reaching for her. “Wait, do you mean for food?”

“Yes.” She laughed. “Let’s get out of here and go get something to eat.” She kissed his chin and nose and then nuzzled his cheek. “Feed me.”

“Uh-huh.” He stood up and offered her a helping hand. She took it, and he pulled her to her feet.

He held her close for several seconds. It was so warm, seductive, and flat-out nice.

His voice ruffled the hair near her ear as he spoke. “Just for the record, this was interesting, but I’d like to state that I believe the best way to get to know someone is to spend time together. Throw in a few unexpected experiences, and that’s a pretty thorough learning curve.”

She nodded her head. “You’re right.” Her body leaned into his. The impact was delicate, tender, and oh, so pleasant. Oh hell, why did she want to forget her promise to herself and just hop back on the proverbial horse?

Look at him! Of course I want him. Shaking herself with the renewed determination, she stepped away from this tall, sexy man and walked to the door. “Ahem. On that note, are you coming?”

“Not yet, but I hope to later.” His smirk said it all.

She couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping her lips.

Me too.

* * *

Dinner was unconventional, sitting on the dock next to Juliet’s pen and eating Chinese food. The night sky was overcast as the marine layer slowly moved in, and only a few stars shone through now and then.

Was it odd hanging out on the dock? Kerry wasn’t sure, as she spent most of her time with the dolphins. Time took on a different meaning, as if being with them was the only way she knew her life had purpose. Days off were filled with menial tasks such as laundry, cleaning, food shopping, and paying bills. Only when she was back here did her existence seem real, as if time started ticking again.

Studying the man next to her, she wondered if Leaper fell into the same pitfall with his work. Right now, his body was turned toward her, but his head was facing the mouth of the bay and the ocean beyond.

She tapped his foot. “Sometimes you get this faraway look. Then, suddenly, it’s gone and you’re back to normal.”

“Sorry. It’s a habit of mine. I get lost in my thoughts.”

“No, it’s fine. I guess I wish you’d talk to me about what’s on your mind,” Kerry urged. “Communication is the cornerstone to…well, everything in life.”

* * *

Yes. Not very subtle, Kerry, Leaper thought. He could appreciate her gentle approach. He did want her to know him better. He could only imagine how tender and kind she was with the marine mammals. She must be an amazing vet. Even now, her comment was sympathetic, implying she was attempting to be nonintrusive, and yet he knew she wanted more information. Hell, he’d known that someday a woman would ask it of him, but he hadn’t perfected an answer as to why he zoned out. It was one of the questions he just never wanted to answer, along with how many people he killed and why he continued putting himself in the line of fire.

He gave her a half smile. “It’s nothing.” His avoidance was instinctive. “Dark night, huh? Wish we could see the North Star.”

“Leaper, trust me. Please.” Her earnestness was compelling. “I want to know you.”

No, you don’t, he thought. It will change everything. How you see me. How we interact. Why would you want to kiss a man—make love to a man—who leads this life?

Her fingers sought his, settling on top and squeezing. Those slim digits were so tiny and deft. Was she fragile or strong? Could he share his life? Would this be too much to ask of her?

He shook his head, attempting to dislodge the question. If she knew… “There are places you shouldn’t go. Think of it as a Do Not Enter sign. Once that door opens, it can’t be closed. There are things you can’t unknow.”

“I get it. Truly, I do. But how am I supposed to understand or connect with the real you if you won’t let me in? Am I supposed to settle for the good-time guy that’s sitting here, making goo-goo eyes and being superficial or take the bold step and dig deeper?” She was quiet for several seconds. “I like you, Leaper. A lot. When I’m with you, I feel connected in a way I never have been before…not with a human being, let alone a man.”

“So you reserve your heart for marine mammals.”

Tears filled her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, but they continued to fall. “Yes. I…I don’t trust easily. Locking my heart from others keeps me safe. There’s a lot I haven’t shared.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her as she wept. It was over quickly. As he moved his head so he could see her face, he said, “You’re not a crier, are you?”

“No. What gives it away?” She mopped her face on his T-shirt, leaving wet spots behind.

“The burst of emotion.” He touched his lips to hers in a gentle caress. “I’m glad you don’t milk it. I don’t handle bullshit and manipulation well.”

“I don’t either.” She cleared her throat. “I’m very straightforward, and I promise I will share my inner self,” she murmured against his lips, “if you do so with me.”

“Damn.” His mouth tightened. “I’m not an angel. They don’t call SEALs when there’s something gentle that needs to happen. We’re… We do things that need to be done, eliminating threats and completing tasks even when the odds are stacked against us. We use bullets, knives, bombs, lasers…”

“You’re evading, Leaper. Rip the tape off faster. Say whatever you need to say.”

He took a long deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I’ll give you an example.” He folded his hands together, needing them to be occupied while he visited this memory. “I was on my third tour. We were watching a group of insurgents who were targeting a large family who were American sympathizers. We knew these bad guys were slowly killing this family one member at a time. We wanted this family to stay safe, so when we received Intel that the bad guys were going to strike the family and wipe them all out, my Team was sent up to ‘handle’ the situation.”

He licked his lips. “It was the driest time of the year. Being in the desert was like sitting in a clay oven and baking from the outside in. We’d broken into four groups—two-man Teams—and my Teammate was shadowing me. A group of nomads was approaching, and there wasn’t much cover. We’d found a decent place that had some shade from rocks, and when we dug into the sand and earth. Thankfully, it was slightly moist. We were probably better off than most of the Team, so we radioed in and hid for the day. It took a while for the nomads to arrive, and when they did, we identified several insurgents. These terrorists stopped about fifty feet away. They took a shovel to a spot that revealed a hidden well-spring, where they replenished their water supply and refreshed themselves.

“I speak Arabic, French, Spanish, Latin, and Russian, and I could understand them as they spoke about the group of boys with them and how they were going to pick the oldest for his ‘act of glory.’ Fuck, how it filled my blood with ice! When they called him up, they joked around with him. His name was Gabir, and he was twelve. They told him that when the bomb exploded, the charge would go forward, and only the infidels would die. Because he was a child, his life would be spared from the explosion. This is the reason they design a charge like this, and all Gabir had to do was to walk to this place and stand very still, facing a compound. They told Gabir he would live in glory for his action. And this boy”—Leaper’s face contorted momentarily, and then his features smoothed as he regained control—“agreed readily and laughed along with the men, oblivious of the fact he was going to die. Gabir smiled broadly, a big toothy grin. He stood tall as they strapped explosives to his chest, and he just didn’t care.

“The whole night, Gabir strutted around proudly as they celebrated and offered praises. The other boys looked on with such outright anger and envy. The men sang songs about death and its glory, about how little life here on earth meant. They said living was nothing—absolutely zero! Their power was, and is, their willingness to embrace death when others are so scared of it.” His knuckles were white from squeezing his hands together. “There were forty insurgents. We didn’t have enough ammo to take them all on, and we couldn’t make contact with the rest of the Team, without someone hearing either our movements or our words. As the boy was finally sent on his way and the elder keepers lay down to sleep, and the rest of the group settled down too, we could finally ease out of our hiding place. We crept forward and dispatched as many as we could with our Ka-Bars, and then we followed the boy. We needed to stop him before he reached his goal. We ran like our pants were on fire until he was in our sight.

“We were closer than I thought, and I must have made a noise, because Gabir spun on me. He looked at me sharply, and his lips twitched at the corners as if to say ‘Gotcha.’ But before he could pull the trigger, my Teammate had thrown his knife and speared Gabir’s kidney. It forced an inhalation, making it impossible for the boy to cry out. I was at a different angle, but I had thrown my knife too—it was a reflex—and it entered Gabir’s heart up to the hilt. This small boy crumpled.” Leaper’s voice wavered, full of emotion. “The bomb did not go off. I rushed forward and dismantled the explosives.” He cleared his throat and his voice steadied. “I took what I could and deposited it in my pack so they couldn’t use it on another kid. Then I lifted Gabir into my arms, and my Teammate and I took him back to the rendezvous point to meet up with the Team.”

Leaper looked off into the darkness. His mouth was dry, and he could nearly smell the dirt and sand—the scent had filled his nostrils. It suffocated him even now, scratching at his throat and clogging his senses. He coughed hard to stop the sensation. “I buried that boy and said a prayer, one that I haven’t repeated since I was his age.”

Leaper’s eyes sought Kerry’s. “A child raised on dogma that values death above life. How do I handle that? His life was ending that night, whether it was by our hands, the elder keepers, or his own. The politicians in his country blame the lack of religious education and children’s gullibility, but whether that’s true or not doesn’t change the reality. I live with events, hundreds of moments, like snapshots in time. Even though I do this to protect my country and the people in it…it scars me.”

He exhaled slowly. “Despite what the media wants you to believe, soldiers and sailors, we are human beings. I’ll never be this perfect, untouched guy who can walk through life without taking all this…along with me.” He rubbed his temple with his thumbs. “The moral code where one life is sacrificed to save the many… It often haunts me.”

If Leaper could have cried, he would have. Had emotion been buried too long to provide any release? He knew the answer and wasn’t sure why he’d even posed the question. Christ, perhaps this was his punishment, his burden to bear.

Kerry. Sweet, beautiful lady.

Her face was equal parts horror and sympathy, and her body was turned partially away. As she turned fully in his direction, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He truly cared what she thought of him. So how could he bring his issues to her? Why would he want to burden this amazing woman?

Was he making a mistake, revealing his darkest inner self? He’d never done this before, and for the first time in years, he felt…vulnerable.

“Leaper…” She lifted her hand slowly, bringing it toward his face. He didn’t know what to expect, but he didn’t flinch away. Instead, he waited, prepared to take whatever justice she felt he deserved. Her fingertips were cool and gentle as they stroked his brow and his cheeks.

“I will never know how vast or deep your pain is… I just want you to know that I will bear it with you. I accept it. I accept you. Please don’t be afraid of it or me. I’m stronger than I look.” Her intense hug emphasized the strength of her message. “Our country demands sacrifices from us. Sometimes that sacrifice is a piece of our sanity and our souls.” Her smile was understanding as she leaned forward and kissed him. “Just know that none of us are without…regrets.”

Leaper was shocked. Was this woman real? Was it possible she could truly accept him? If he believed it, this would change everything he thought to be true about relationships.

His eyes searched hers. He could see the sincerity of her emotion. Nodding his head, he accepted her message. It was powerful, and he felt as though an actual weight had lifted from him.

Leaper unclenched his hands. He stretched his fingers and then reached for her. Gently, he lifted her onto his lap.

She pushed her hair away from her face and snuggled closer.

His emotions surged as he leaned in and kissed her. The intensity of passion shocked him, and she matched it with her own. For long moments they kissed, a heated exchange.

“Thank you,” he murmured against her lips. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

Her hands cupped his face. “I do. Truly, I do.” The kiss was unbridled, and each of them explored the other as they sought more intimate contact.

Remembering they were on a dock, he broke the contact. “Is there someplace more private we can go?”

She nodded. “Follow me.”

Cold air tickled his skin as Kerry left his lap. They made quick work of gathering their dinner remains and disposing of them, and then they walked along the dock.

“How do you act so…jovial?” she asked, looking up at him.

“It’s a choice. If I lived in the pit of my pain, I would have ended things a long time ago. I feel I owe it to my brethren who have departed this earth to enjoy my time on this planet. I’d want them to do it in my memory, so I do it in memory of them. I live like every day is my last on earth. One of my goals in life is to feel as much pleasure as possible before I die,” Leaper said candidly.

“Does that mean…you want to have sex with every woman in sight?”

He laughed. “Hell no! It means…I want to laugh. I want to be happy, and whoever I’m spending time with, they have to want to be happy too.” He scratched his chin. “I’m not being superficial. As I mentioned, I’ve seen a lot of fucked-up things. I’ve watched brothers die, seen limbs blown off, and I’ve watched people in relationships struggle with the most trivial things, because they’ve forgotten the point of life: to be happy. I want that for myself, and for whoever I’m with.”

“Whomever,” she replied.

“That too.”

“I like it. I agree.” She sat down and stretched out on the dock, legs extended, and propped her hand under head. “It’s hard to find someone who’s living a life that brings them pleasure. Believe it or not, there are people working in the Marine Mammal Program who complain. This job…it’s, like, the coolest experience in the world. There are so many fascinating programs, I just don’t know how someone could be unhappy. Maybe that’s judgmental. I know some people start out wanting to enjoy a job and it isn’t a good fit, but I’ve found a few individuals who are absolutely determined to be miserable no matter what. In my opinion, happiness starts inside of you and branches outward to the rest of your life.” She sighed. “Oh God, I warned you that I’m an eternal optimist.”

He edged closer to her until their mouths were only a foot apart. “Can I kiss the optimist? I, uh, kinda like that about you.”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly.

Their lips met in a tender kiss. Water sloshed over the side of the dock and wet their shoes, and they drew apart. Leaper looked in the direction of the water. Kerry laughed.

The dolphin below them was taking advantage of the rub rope, which was exactly what it sounded like. Leaper nodded. “Looks like a good idea. Is there anywhere here we can…uh…?”

“Do you mean away from the cameras and the guards? If so, the answer is yes.” She took his hand and led him farther along another set of docks. She continued to the far side of a metal building, where a cramped office was tucked behind a small alcove. There was no ceiling, and the stars twinkled above.

He shut the door behind them. “Will the guards come in here?”

“As long as we’re quiet, they’ll stay out. The nickname is the sex shack, not that I’ve ever, uh…”

“Really? Well, virgin territory, then.” A wicked grin settled on his lips. “Challenge accepted.” His arms pulled her in tight. “You seem tense. Are you okay?”

“Claustrophobia. Let’s distract me from the sensation of the small space.”

“I’m good at that. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a wide open field. The smell of lavender and wild flowers fills the air, and the brush of long weeds tickles your bare legs and feet…”

She smiled. “You’ve had some experience with this.”

“Uh-huh. Auditory guy, remember,” he murmured, kissing her cheek, her chin, and her neck, working his way downward. “It’s a vastly difference experience distracting you than a Teammate dealing with a panic attack before an airplane jump.”

“Heavens, I can only imagine.” Her breath quickened as his hands played down her back to cup her backside.

* * *

His touch was magic, Kerry thought as he caressed down the length of her body and then back up again. Dang, Leaper was going to make her scream with delight. His hot trails of passion made her feel weak in the knees. She completely forgot about the small shack and her claustrophobia. Instead, the sensations his fingers—those long, tapered, and tantalizingly strong digits—left behind made her breath catch. As his hands played over her clothing, his mouth wooed her, inviting her tongue to come out and play.

Kerry obliged, allowing the kiss to deepen. Her arms wound around his neck as his hands tenderly opened her blouse and made their way up to her bra. He expertly released the clasp, and her breasts filled his large hands. He toyed with the nipples, bringing gasps of pleasure to her lips.

When her back arched and she felt the first climax slide through her body, he broke the kiss. “May I?” he whispered.

She nodded, watching as his head disappeared, kissing a path over skin and clothing all the way down to between her legs. His ardent kisses left damp patches before he gently pulled the leggings off and buried his head in her most private of parts.

“Yes,” she sighed.

Leaper’s tongue lapped at her clit, sending waves of intensity zipping through her until her breaths released in small, short pants. Again and again her body clenched as he brought her to the peak of pleasure, only to begin again before the sensation faded. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, he replaced his mouth with a very agreeable alternative that filled her sheath to capacity.

She kissed the sweetness from his lips, drinking the delightful tang of her own essence, and then kissed along his ears and neck as he set a fast pace. Twin climaxes hit them, and they cried out together in satisfaction.

Sea lions and dolphins joined in, a cacophony of sound that echoed around them.

“I guess they approve,” said Leaper.

“Ha-ha,” said Kerry. “Oh, shit. Do you hear footsteps?”

A knock sounded on the door. “Uh, hello. Is everything okay in there?” asked a security guard from the other side of the thin wooden barrier.

Kerry gulped, horrified and embarrassed. She covered her eyes with her hand. “Yes, Fred. We’re fine. We’ll be out in a minute.”

“Is the, uh, gentleman okay too? Sorry, I need to ask that.”

“Hell no! She just drained the life out of me,” replied Leaper.

“Leaper, shush!” Kerry hissed.

“No rush, ma’am,” Fred said. “I understand.” With that, his footsteps retreated down the dock.

Kerry liked that he helped her dress first and then took care of his own needs. When she was fully clothed, she swatted at him.

He was buckling his belt, but he dodged. Damn those SEAL reflexes.

“I have to work with these people, you know,” Kerry said. “Good Lord, what will my friend Emme say?”

Leaper caught her around the waist and pulled her to him. “Bring it on, baby. I love it when you get fiery.”

“In for a penny…” She sighed and rolled her eyes before giving into his antics. This was Leaper in all his glory, and she couldn’t stop wondering what was coming next.