Chapter 9

Night was an ideal time for mischief. Even the fish were sleeping, or at the very least not biting yet. The world slowed down in the darkness. Clouds filled the San Diego night sky, obscuring whatever existed above, and only a few souls partied privately until dawn.

Morning was still several hours away, and the wee hours of the night were very quiet, especially on the bridge connecting Point Loma to nearby San Diego’s Lindbergh Field. The water below was still and the air smelled stagnant.

A skinny man scratched his nose and adjusted himself. He pulled out his phone, chose the phone number with the label StpUp, and sent a text. This moment is dedicated to you. Without your help, we never would have known where to go, how to enter, or what to do. I’m honored you chose me and I have this opportunity to lead others. Power to the People, as each of us chooses to willingly Step Up. He snapped the cover shut. Before he concealed the phone in an airtight, waterproof case, he wondered if he should ask his source who he was and why he was helping them. In the distance, he heard the call of a mockingbird mimicking a ringtone, and he shook off the brief moment of doubt.

The main purpose was that citizens take up the fight and act. Right? He nodded his head, answering his own question. “Time to begin.”

Holding a webcam at arm’s length, he spoke softly. “This is Octavius ‘Tavi’ Ploke, and we’re about to shake things up for the Navy.” He turned the camera toward the water. “Over there is the Marine Mammal base, and we’re going to ‘free Willy.’ Just kidding. We’re releasing dolphins and sea lions back into the wild.”

Pointing the camera at a piece of wrinkled paper, he said, “This is the note that began it all. It reads: ‘Here’s a challenge for those whose hearts are worthy. Open the cages at the Marine Mammal Program and let our aquatic friends go free. If you require help, open this bottle.’” He pointed to a blob of lines on the note. “This is a map to this very bridge. Now, I’m going to strap this camera to my head, and my friends and I are off to do some good.”

Darkness suits the night’s events, thought Tavi as he secured the webcam to his head mount. It’s doubtful the moon will make an appearance tonight. Tavi wore dark-blue board shorts and a black T-shirt sporting the phrase Saving It All in silver. He waved to two women and four men who stood in the shadows, urging them to walk onto the bridge.

A waterproof backpack was secured to his back with broad straps across his waist and chest. This was the first time he’d have a chance to use his gear, and Tavi was very excited.

He waved again, this time more frantically, and the small group moved in concert like lemmings, hurrying along the walkway of the bridge until they reached the far side. Only then did they catch their breath and wait for the next step.

Several cars approached. Their lights were overly bright, and Tavi was tempted to flip them off because they didn’t turn off their high beams, but he stopped himself. One battle at a time, he told himself. No sense calling attention to yourself.

“Look at the stars, Tavi,” said one of the women to him as she approached.

He sighed. Her name Lonettia, and she was not very good at being inconspicuous. Her blond hair was died black, and it was obviously a temporary color. It bled down her cheeks, following the path of her sweat. And her erratic movements screamed Pay attention to me.

A police vehicle sped by, going toward Point Loma. Luckily, the officer didn’t even slow down to see what this group was doing. Tavi liked the current state of affairs. Every citizen was on hyperalert and scared to confront anyone. They just made a mental note and sped by, afraid to comment or interfere with anyone else’s personal “freedom of expression.” That meant his pursuit of activist events went uninterrupted. Did society know how perfectly it was setting itself up? Not that he was complaining.

Tavi checked around the bridge to make sure no Coast Guard or Coastal Front Security boats were lurking about. When he was sure they were safe, he shattered the closest streetlight with a well-aimed rock. He then tied a rope ladder to the edge of the bridge railing and dropped it into the water. The dark color of the rope blended into the dark night.

Gesturing with his hand, he urged the others to descend.

Smiling, he watched the others climb over the railing and down the ladder. It was a proud moment for him. His opportunities to lead had been few and far between in his life. His father had told him constantly that he’d never inspire confidence. If only the old tyrant could see him now.

“Tavi,” snapped Lonettia from the water. “Hurry. It’s cold.”

He sighed. He knew they were waiting in the darkness beneath the bridge for him to join them, but he wasn’t moving until he was ready.

His fingers checked the fasteners on the backpack, making sure it was sealed, and then he hoisted himself over the railing and quickly moved downward until his body was submerged in the Glorietta Bay water.

“We need to sabotage the pens and get the dolphins moving from their cooped-up area into the ocean,” he whispered. “I want everyone on the dock until we see how many we’re dealing with, and then we can divide and conquer. From this point forward, no talking.” They nodded in confirmation, and Tavi led the way. They swam single file toward the Marine Mammal base.

Tavi could hear the dolphins vocalizing, and he wondered what they were saying. In his mind, they cried for help. He believed wholeheartedly that the creatures were being tortured, and he wanted to set them free. This was the point of the endeavor, to release them into the wild. Boy, would these dolphins thank him!

They neared the far end of the dock. Tavi knew from months of observation that the guards would be shifting position and that there would be a rather long break before they resumed their posts. Smoking in the parking lot seemed to be their preferred activity. He guessed they got reprimanded if they puffed around the mammals.

Here it was. The moment. Tavi watched them walk the docks and head up the gangplank. He pulled himself onto the dock and waved his group forward.

Water splashed on the dock as the activists mounted it. Tavi frowned at them and put his finger to his lips, signaling them to be quiet. “There are more pens than I thought,” Tavi said quietly. “You three work on freeing the dolphins from this pen, and you three the next. I’m going around the side and work on the last one. We’re hidden by the shacks for now, but keep your ears open for those guards. I have the only bottle of the special potion, and it should make our job a lot easier.” He looked over his shoulder at them. “What are you waiting for? Move it!”

The four men and two women hurried off. Tavi rounded the corner and reached into the water to slice through some netting.

Heads bobbed to the surface.

It shocked him. He’d never been this close to a dolphin before. He had an odd, childlike urge to get in the water with them and play.

Several young dolphins looked at him quizzically. They bumped his hand. Tavi slapped them away and they poked at his hand with great force. “Ouch!”

A larger dolphin appeared suddenly, herding the young ones into a far pen.

Tavi hadn’t realized the pens were connected in this manner. When he followed the creatures to the far pen, he reached down to grab a hunk of netting. A larger dolphin came out of the water like a bullet and knocked the knife from his hand. It sank into the water.

“I’m trying to help you,” he whispered angrily. A tail smacked the water, splashing water all over him. Tavi was drenched. His anger climbed. “We can do it the hard way.”

Unclipping the straps over his waist and chest, he lowered the backpack to the ground and released the watertight seal on top. He reached into his bag and withdrew a small blue bottle. The only legible wording on it was HP 1020.

“A few grains of potion and you’ll be easy to take out to sea,” Tavi said. “I have this info from a good source who told me exactly how to do this.” He held the bottle tightly as he wrestled with the top.

Voices made him freeze. He hadn’t been able to remove the cap, but they didn’t need to know that. His heart was beating so fast, it felt as if it was slamming out of his chest. What was he supposed to do now? Was he going to be caught? It didn’t matter. This was only one of many plans. His source was a genius who was going to free all the marine mammals, even if this operation didn’t work.

Tavi squared his shoulders. I’m tough. He was prepared to do battle, and if it went horribly wrong…well, he wasn’t going to give up his source, no matter what they did to him. He’d take that name to the grave.

* * *

“Leaper, I heard something. One of our mother dolphins was using her angry tail slap. Let me just check on her.” Kerry’s hands were still covered by thick gloves, one of the protocols for the vaccine study. She was unprepared as she turned the corner and came face-to-face with a skinny man holding a strange bottle over one of her beloved dolphin pens.

“Roger that,” said Leaper.

“Stop!” Kerry shouted. “I don’t know what that is, but please don’t hurt it. She’s pregnant.”

“Where’s the other voice? It sounded like a man.” The strange man looked nervously over her shoulder. He frowned as his eyes scanned for his friends. “Hey,” he whispered anxiously. “Where are you guys?”

“Ah, hi. Who are you?” Kerry inched toward the man. “I’m Kerry. What’s your name?”

“Tavi.” His gaze ran up and down her body. “I can take you in a fight or I can be a martyr if you like; either way, it won’t matter. We will be victorious, even if I go down,” he said through gritted teeth. “Just remember that I warned you. To avoid further wrath from me and my friends, you need to let these dolphins out of captivity. I’m only going to warn you once, and then I’m going to dump this into the pen.” He tapped his head and added, “Just so you know, I’m recording you. Smile for the camera.”

“This is their home,” Kerry argued. “You see how strong and clever they are; they can let themselves out with one leap. They’re happy here. No one is holding them against their will.” She could see Declan and Leaper coming toward them from the far side of the dock. Both of them dripped with water, yet their steps were silent. The look on both of their faces was deadly, and it almost distracted her. She knew she had to keep this guy talking. “I see something in your hand. What is it? Can you tell me what you’re holding? Please, I’m a doctor…a veterinarian.”

“You’re a vet! You should know better. These dolphins need to be in the ocean, swimming free. You’re a horrible person for keeping them penned in.” The man’s arm shook. “That’s why you’re wearing gloves. You’re performing some kind of horrible test on them, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not! I’m trying to save them. The wild dolphins have a virus, and it’s infected our group. We are testing a vaccine that’s shown great results, and it could save an entire subspecies, possibly the entire species.” Kerry hadn’t meant to tell him so much, but she was flustered. If only her gloves were looser, maybe she could wrestle that bottle from him. “You should know a few more facts. The bottlenose dolphins in this pen were raised here. This mother’s mother was a rescue, brought here after she’d been hurt in a storm. She was nursed back to health and eventually gave birth to a female. We love our dolphins, and they get the best care. Out there, in the ocean, they would most likely die. Is that what you want—to see them dead?” Kerry hoped her words would make him understand how damaging his actions could be. “Please, tell me what’s in the blue bottle.”

“I don’t have to. I’ll show—” The man’s words were cut short as Leaper tackled him. The blue bottle of carfentanil flew into the air and Kerry caught it. She sighed with relief. The top was still tightly sealed.

Declan secured his arms and legs with ropes. “Secure,” he said. “I subdued the other activists. The rest of group is, uh, tied up.”

“Pat everyone down for bottles. On the outside of their clothes,” Kerry advised. “This stuff is toxic.”

Declan’s voice carried from around the corner. “No bottles. Just screwdrivers and plastic bags full of small fish. Stinky, but not illegal.”

“Phew. I’m, ah, going to deal with this.” Hurriedly, she took the bottle into a small hazmat hut, closed the door behind her, and placed the bottle inside a tri-container containment. She stripped her gloves and clothes off and put them in a secondary hazmat container. Please, please, please protect us all. She took the coldest shower of her life within the self-contained hazmat system. Why hadn’t the program sprung for a small water heater? It felt like her body was being washed with lye and frozen at the same time. Her skin was red, her goose bumps were layered with more bumps, and her nerves were completely fried.

Doing the math in her head while she was in the shower almost gave her a heart attack. Carfentanil was a deadly sedative used on elephants, and even a small amount could kill thousands of people. If the whole bottle had been dumped in the bay, there was no telling how much marine life or how many human beings would have been affected. She gulped, imagining the horror of it. This stuff should be banned from entering the country.

Breathe, Kerry. She sucked in air too quickly and coughed.

She looked at the receptacles. The bottle was sealed and contained, and she was pretty sure nothing had leaked out. But when there was an alert to all medical professionals across the country about the potency and danger of carfentanil, she’d rather err on the side of caution. Dogs couldn’t even be trained to sniff for it—they could die instantly.

Standing there naked and shivering where no one could see her was triggering her claustrophobia. “I can do this. I will not panic.” She took a long, slow breath. Kerry was pretty sure that she was the first person to use these hazmat facilities in the entire history of the program.

It had to be me, right? She sighed. I can do this. I’m tough.

Another what-if slammed into her brain, testing her resolve. If Leaper hadn’t invited Declan over to the Marine Mammal base for a private tour, what would have happened? Could she have managed all of these activists on her own? No. Would Tavi have dumped that bottle? Yes. Thank heavens, Tavi had been the only one with a bottle.

Her heart raced, but she wouldn’t let her fears spin out of control again. “Just breathe.”

From outside she could hear movement, voices, and all sorts of interaction. She listened intently.

“Hold him steady,” someone yelled.

There was the sound of skin hitting skin.

“That’s for scaring the shit out of my girlfriend.” Leaper’s voice was low.

“I’m a rescuer,” shouted Tavi. “They’re calling me. The dolphins need me. Let me just swim with them and commune. I can speak their language. Why don’t you understand?”

“My girlfriend is in a hazmat shack, and you’re telling me that substance you had isn’t lethal?” Leaper’s voice sounded lethal, like a sharp blade cutting through the bullshit.

That’s my man. You go, Leaper! she thought.

“I didn’t know! Someone gave it to me. I thought the dolphins would just be a little calmer and easier to take out to sea,” Tavi shouted as he was led away. “I didn’t know! You have to believe me, I didn’t know.”

“Get him…the fuck…out of here,” growled Leaper.

Kerry heard the whole exchange. She anxiously looked around for something to put on. Paper gowns were not going to cut it, this close to the water. One wave and the gown would dissolve like a tissue.

The door opened abruptly and Leaper poked his head in. “I thought you might need this.” He handed her a change of clothes from her bag.

“Thanks,” she said, relieved. “I didn’t want to go out there naked.” Kerry took the bag from him and found some warm clothes.

His body blocked any view from the outside as she dressed. “Darling, I want to come in there and show my appreciation for all that beauty, but I’m guessing that having half of the Feds in San Diego listen to our foreplay might be a buzzkill.”

She laughed.

Leaper lifted both hands. “Not that I don’t want to, because I do.” His smile was soft and gentle, matching the tone of his voice. “You are so very beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she murmured. Heat rose in her cheeks.

“Uh, just out of curiosity, what was that stuff in the bottle?”

“Carfentanil,” she replied. “It’s flooding the black market, because it boosts the power of opioids. Drug cartels are sourcing it from overseas and using it to cut their heroin, but even a small amount is too much, and the death toll has been enormous. No one really understands how deadly this stuff is!”

“Damn. That’s messed up.” Leaper gave a low whistle. “Is there anything I can do to help you? Did it get on you?”

“No,” replied Kerry, shaking her head. “Leaper, this is all…so crazy and disturbing. Why here? Why…carfentanil? Who is this terrorist? Did he know that he was about to commit mass murder on one of our most important species? I’ve never been this close to an event of this magnitude. This wouldn’t have been a rescue—this would have been an act of terrorism.” Finally warm and dressed, she hugged Leaper tightly, grateful for his presence. Tears surprised her as they fell down her cheeks. “If that top had opened and the wind had caught one grain… Oh God, if it had touched you…” She choked.

She let the worry out and pulled herself together. Her shock and the talk of what-if must have made the tears spring from her like a fountain, but she wasn’t one given to emotional outbursts. Her mantra was empower and power through, show of strength over shrinking-violet syndrome. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said.

“Kerry, it’s okay. I get it. Trust me. Bad situations can hit you upside the head in unexpected ways. Just remember, you’re okay. We’re okay. The mammals are okay. We survived it. You’re my superhero lady. Who else grabs the evil mojo juice and runs into a hazmat facility?” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m proud of you. You think quickly on your feet. And Declan and I rounded up the bad guys, so the MPs have them in custody. Their night isn’t over yet, though. I’m sure at least two different government agencies will want to chat with them.”

Leaper opened the door wide and escorted her into the fresh air. She breathed deeply. It eased her, the smell of salt comforting and familiar.

“Hey, you can see them there, up near the office.” Leaper nodded in the direction of the terrorists.

She followed his motion. There they were…the group of terrorists. They looked nervous as they attempted to loudly talk their way out of their handcuffs. It didn’t look as if the military police were budging on that point.

“When I told them you dashed to hazmat, the MPs called Command, who requested the Coast Guard, the CDC, and a Terrorism Task Force from the FBI.” Leaper’s voice was matter-of-fact, as if he dealt with dramatic events every day.

She knew the authorities had handled worse. Something about that fact eased her further. The situation was in hand. Procedures would be followed. All she had to do was give her statement, and the authorities would take over.

“The Coast Guard’s Cutter from Naval Station San Diego is docked over there. I’m pretty sure someone from the CDC will arrive within the hour.” He craned his neck. “And I see gold letters. The FBI is here. So let’s get this chat over with. Ready?”

Kerry nodded.

As they walked, the moon slid out from behind the thick clouds, casting bright rays of light into the pens. Seeing the dolphins moving around was a godsend. They exuded peaceful vibes.

She looked at Leaper, and her heart sped up. She smiled at the realization that she loved him. It was as clear as the bright moon overhead. Though the clouds threatened to slide back into place, she didn’t care. There was clarity now, both in the night sky and in her own mind. There was no cynical voice to point out her doubts. There were only two very clear facts: Leaper had risked his life for her and she would risk hers for him. Love was a fierce emotion, its protective instinct made even sharper by the possibility of loss.

Leaper took her hand and tenderly kissed the back of it. It pulled Kerry out of her reverie. She smiled broadly at him. “Thanks.”

“Of course. I have you, and you have me. Team dynamics, remember?”

“Your Teammate—that’s a big honor.” She bumped her shoulder into his. “Speaking of… Where’s your other Teammate?”

“Declan? He went home. They’ll talk to him in the morning.” He whispered in her ear, “He was like a big kid when we took those activists down. He enjoyed the action. When he learns about the substance, though, it’ll hit him hard. They live on the water. He and his daughter play in the bay almost every day—kayaking, swimming, canoeing, sailing, tubing…”

“Yeah, that’s what shook me up so hard, that innocents would be killed. It’s still a lot to take in.”

“I agree. Now, let’s wrap this up and go home.”

Straightening her shoulders, she pursed her lips and mentally prepared herself. The good news was that if the camera on the man’s head had survived the takedown, the entire event was on film. This would probably be one of the few times in history that cameras were a plus.

Kerry and Leaper walked toward the two waiting FBI agents who stood on the other side of the locked, chain-link gate. Their badges were out and their jackets flapped in the breeze. She knew that once the world learned about the blue bottle of carfentanil, this place would be swarming with even more personnel. This would be seen as a terrorist event. The Navy was going to have a hard time containing the media, once they learned about it. And there was no doubt that the entire Marine Mammal group would be moving locations again, to someplace even more secure. But that wouldn’t be so bad. She was ready for a change of location.

This had been one of the scariest nights of her life. Tonight’s events would haunt her for a long time and most likely affect the entire Marine Mammal Program, like the ever-widening ripples when a pebble is dropped into the water. But she had courage, and she’d wear that bravery like armor.

Kerry pulled open the gate and walked through. Leaper was right behind her, and she knew she could lean on him. But for now, she was going to stand up and make her voice heard, starting with the fact that carfentanil needed to be banned. There were other drugs that could be used on large animals, safer ones. No one needed this event to be repeated.

“Gentlemen, I’m Dr. Kerry Hamilton. Let’s get started. I came to the docks to work, and my boyfriend and his Teammate stopped by. Little did I know that the Marine Mammal area was being invading by individuals determined to release our dolphins, which, for the record, can leave anytime they want by simply jumping the edge of the pen. These invaders, for lack of a better word, could have endangered the lives of our dolphins, because some of them require medication to stay alive and healthy. The invaders had malicious intent, as they intended to release a deadly toxin into the water that could have killed marine and human life. Questions?”

The federal agents’ mouths dropped open in surprise. A variety of voices rose, wanting to know more. Yep, this was just the reaction she’d thought they’d have.

* * *

The air in Leaper’s home was stifling. Kerry craved fresh air. She couldn’t remember this small place ever feeling so closed off and confined, and she tugged at the neckline of her shirt. Glancing at the clock, she knew she would only be getting a few hours of sleep before she made her way back to work, but she didn’t care. Being away from the base for even a short time was a reprieve. The FBI and the CDC were still there, and some of the brass, as well as the director of the program, were sticking around too. She needed a breather, a little time to regain her equilibrium.

So why was she so crabby, like she needed to move or act on something, and yet so exhausted? Was it the adrenaline rush? Could she still have one? Maybe she wasn’t fit for company, but she couldn’t bear hurting Leaper with her moodiness. Yet she was loath to leave here.

Her eyes tracked Leaper as he moved about the room. Clothes spilled out of his hamper, and several pairs of pants hung on the back of a chair. Had he always been this messy, or was she seeing evidence of it for the first time?

Music grew in volume as Louis Armstrong sang “All of Me.” Normally, she loved that song, but at this moment, it was fraying her last nerve. Why was that? Didn’t she want someone to take “all” of her?

She gritted her teeth against the song, the banging cabinet doors, the shoes being tossed nonchalantly into the closet and slamming against the back wall before they fell, and, to top it off, the squeak of the bathroom door. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she ground out in an angry voice, “Stop! Just stop, please. I can’t take it anymore.”

Leaper froze. “What?” He turned toward her and came to the bed. Getting on his knees, he reached for her.

She batted his hands away. She couldn’t deal with being touched at this moment. “I need some space.”

“Do you want me to take you home?” His eyebrows were drawn in tightly, and he looked concerned. She wanted to smooth those lines away, and at the same time, she wanted him gone. She didn’t know why she was so frustrated. “Should I leave?” he asked, his expression growing more puzzled. “C’mon, talk to me. I know you had a rough night.”

“That’s an understatement,” she mumbled grumpily.

“Right. Ah, I believe you’re having a reaction, a type of posttraumatic-stress-induced moment.” His tone was firm, but soft. Thank God he wasn’t placating her. She would be kicking his butt right now. Of course, what he was saying rang true. Emotionally, she was very out of sorts.

“How so?” Kerry asked.

“Your fight-or-flight response was triggered, and nothing’s turned it off yet. You’re still running and fighting, and now you’re turning those emotions on me.” He tapped his finger on his chest. “You can take it out on me. I’m tough! Though I’d prefer if it didn’t become a habit. It might be a teensy bit hard on my fragile ego to handle it daily.”

“Fragile, my ass,” she scoffed.

“And what a beautiful tush it is,” he quipped.

“Thanks,” she said flatly.

“Kerry, what can I do to help? Talk to me or don’t. Whatever works for you is fine with me. I can even leave you here alone, if that makes you feel better. I can go sleep in the boat or at the Bachelor’s Quarters on base—”

She touched her finger to his mouth to silence him. “Thank you. I don’t know what to say. How do you handle it?”

He nodded and opened his arms. “If I’m lucky, I can hold someone special. If not, I work out, like swimming and surfing, until I’m too exhausted to feel anything. Sometimes, I talk. There’s no right or wrong method.”

She crawled into those big strong arms, and her body relaxed slowly. She didn’t know how much time passed, but at some point she started talking. “The marine mammals… I’m so glad the dolphins are accounted for and safe. This event didn’t seem to rattle them. The techs checked them over, and another vet stopped by to double-check. Just receiving their texts made me feel better. But…but…” Her lips quivered. “I still feel like I failed them, because I didn’t protect them from strangers getting onto the docks in the first place. These invaders… It’s like they came into my home and violated my safety. I’ve always been safe at work, and now I’m going to be searching the water constantly, looking for the enemy. I’m angry.”

Leaper held tight. “Kerry, you have every right to feel violated. But remember, security isn’t your job. Healing and helping is your forte. You can’t blame yourself over responsibilities that aren’t yours. Also, the Feds said that the activists, these invaders, had a very specific note with directions and a map. It was a planned endeavor and most likely it was an inside job. How could you have known about it? It could have been a disgruntled employee, someone who’s antimilitary, or someone who doesn’t believe in the program. Few souls are aware of the marine mammal rescues the Foundation sponsors or that you promote longevity and a family atmosphere for the creatures. Regardless, no creature or human was hurt, and everyone is accounted for. The base is locked up tight and has extra security. No one is getting in there now. So what do you think about that?”

She nodded her head. What could she say?

“It’s going to take a while for this emotion to process. I’ve heard that the more you talk about it, the more it’ll loosen its grip.” He sighed. “Dang, I sound like a shrink. Sorry, I don’t mean to…unless it helps.”

He was right. This was going to take a while to work through. She wasn’t the type of person to sit and fret. She was more fearless warrior than stagnant weeper. She acted.

Her eyes met his. “Fight,” she murmured.

“What?”

His arms rocked her gently.

She pushed out of his embrace. It was as if a flip had switched inside her. Her eyes lifted to his. “I’m going to fight. I’m not going to let criminals stop me. If I have to choose between being afraid and being fierce, then I choose the latter.”

Leaper’s mouth pulled slowly into a grin. “That’s my lady.” He lifted one of her hands, opened her fist, and placed a kiss inside, and then did the same thing with the other one. “When I’ve had to face fear, look it in the eye, and tell it to go take a flying leap, I’ve asked one thing of myself—to be calm. When you’re calm in the face of the unknown, you can see everything clearly, endless possibilities and outcomes, and the best moves to make. So next time you get scared, try to calm yourself and see how it changes your experience.”

“Thank you. I will.” Kerry bit her lip. “Along those lines, I have to say something. This is really important to me. I’ve been scared to tell you how I feel. I have to be true to myself and to my heart.” She leaned toward him until their faces were inches apart. “If I had died, or you had, without telling you this important thing… Leaper, I love you.”

He smiled broadly. His eyes were warm, liquid pleasure. “Good choice. I’d rather that emotion than hate.”

Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against his. A wave of joy filled her heart and a surge of adrenaline filled her body. “I know you love me.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and nudged his body with hers. “Not the random words that people string together to get laid or whatever. You know that I’m the one, and no other person can fill those shoes. It’s only me.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “I admit it. You’re right. I love you, Kerry.”

The words were drawn out slowly and sweetly, and they stuck in her mind, obliterating all other thoughts. Waves of joy swamped her, and she grinned at him.

His arms crushed her, holding her body so tightly, she could barely breathe. “Every day, I can hardly wait to have you in my arms again,” he said. “The moment you leave them, I wish you were near.”

Her hands were trapped between them, but she didn’t care. She could feel his breath against her neck and hair. The caress of his hands along her body was exhilarating, and his message, those three little words, rang loudly in her heart and head. Not the “you’re right” part, though that was nifty to hear, but “I love you.” She’d waited her whole life for a declaration that made her melt inside.

“It’s like I tell the recruits: Choose your life and career carefully,” Leaper said. “Do not make decisions lightly. Be in Special Operations because you cannot imagine any other way to live. Be with a partner because you can’t imagine living without them. I…I cannot imagine living my life without you.”

Tears streamed down her face, dripping onto his shirt. “Me neither. Damn, I didn’t think I had any moisture left in my body.” She reached up to brush his cheek and felt moisture there too. “You, too! Aw, man. What now?”

He stood, picked her up, swept her into his arms, and carried her to the bed. Lying down beside her, he said, “I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to praise every part of your anatomy and listen to you come before I enter you.”

“Maura was wrong. Music isn’t the best way to communicate with you. This is.” She kissed him with every ounce of her love and emotion.

“Kerry,” he sighed.

Her breath filled with the images of them physically connecting. “Love me, Leaper. Love me until I cannot take any more.”

She watched him as he delicately removed her clothes and lowered himself onto the bed next to her. As his fingers stroked her belly, her eyes fluttered closed.

Oh, the pleasure those hands bring. This man certainly knows how to push my buttons and how to focus rhythmically on just the right one. Mmm, again and again.