Crewe

Two weeks went by, and I didn’t hear anything from London.

She was about to head back to the United States, getting back to the life she had before she got mixed up with me in the first place. A part of me wanted to call her now that I had her number, just to hear her voice, but I wouldn’t allow myself to do that.

I’d made my decision.

And when I made up my mind, I didn’t change it. She had my trust once before, but she blew it when she crossed me. I couldn’t take back Josephine, not that I wanted to, and I certainly couldn’t give London another chance.

I was too pissed.

And stubborn.

I was golfing in London that weekend, catching up with friends and some business partners for the charity event. Maybe hitting the links would get my mind off London. I hadn’t gotten laid in weeks because I’d been too busy, so my dreams and fantasies constantly drifted back to her. I beat off to her memory more times than I cared to admit.

But that didn’t mean I loved her.

And I would have kept seeing Sasha, but work got in the way. London’s reappearance had nothing to do with me calling it off.

It was just a coincidence.

My men carried my two bags to the car as I walked to the entrance with Ariel.

“I’ve got your schedule ready. Mark will take care of everything when you land. I’ll handle everything on this front.”

“I had no doubt you would.” I adjusted my watch on my wrist before I straightened my black jacket. “You know how to reach me.” I walked out the door and saw my car parked in the roundabout in the midst of statues.

“Good luck on the course.”

I gave her a quick nod before I opened the back door. “Don’t need it. But thanks anyway.” I got into the back seat and immediately pulled out my phone, planning to get through my emails on the drive.

Dunbar pulled onto the road and headed to Edinburgh, where my plane was waiting for my private takeoff. He didn’t make conversation, but he’d always been a quiet man. Ever since London’s betrayal, he’d never looked at me the same. He did his job and communicated with me as little as possible. Even a raise hadn’t improved his spirits.

But as long as he did his job well, I didn’t have room to complain. I wasn’t a chatty person, preferring long stretches of silence to meaningless conversation. That was one of the things I adored about London. For a woman, she didn’t have much to say. She could sit with me for hours without saying a single word.

The memory of us having dinner together on the balcony tugged at my heart.

But I pushed it away.

We came to a stoplight in town and sat at the light for over a minute. I didn’t have to catch a flight at the airport like everyone else, so I didn’t care if this delay put us back a couple minutes. I had a few emails from one of my regional managers, so I responded to those with my eyes glued to the screen.

Then the front window shattered.

“What the—”

A man slammed Dunbar’s head against the steering wheel so hard he knocked him out cold. The horn honked, and the rest of the cars in traffic sped away on the sidewalk since they didn’t know what was happening.

There was a gun under the seat, so I snatched it with lightning speed.

“It’s me.” Joseph pushed Dunbar’s body to the passenger seat then got behind the wheel. “I’m not packing, so you can calm down. London sent me.” He fastened his safety belt then drove through the light once it turned green.

The only reason why I didn’t shoot him was because of London. Otherwise, he’d have a bullet in his brain right now. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Taking you to have lunch with her. When you’re done, I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”

Was this a joke? “You knock out my driver and expect me to spend time with your sister?”

“Hey, this was all her idea. I wanted to kill the guy, but she said no.”

“Ironic,” I said. “I want to kill you right now.”

“She told me you wouldn’t. And for some idiotic reason, I trust what she says.” He didn’t turn around and look at me even though he knew I was holding a loaded pistol.

I wanted to shoot him just to prove London wrong, but I couldn’t do that. When I imagined how heartbroken she would be, it made me feel like shit. I turned the safety back on and stowed it under the seat. “Where are we going?”

“She made lunch at her apartment. I’ll wait in the car, and when you’re done, I’ll take you to the strip.”

I couldn’t believe London actually arranged this. When she put her mind to something, she didn’t give up. But I hoped she would give up soon because she was wasting her time. “Your sister is an idiot.”

“You know, I would normally kill you for saying that, but this is the one time I actually agree with you.”

I looked out the window and watched the buildings go by. I knew her apartment was somewhere in the city. I was tempted to look it up a few times, to make sure she was safe wherever she was living. Thankfully, Dunbar was unconscious and unable to tell Ariel what happened. If Ariel knew, she’d burst into London’s apartment with a gun in each hand. She’d hated London before, but now she loathed the woman.

After a short drive, Joseph pulled up to the curb of a small apartment building. It was solidly built, but not in the greatest part of town. Must have been all she could afford on her salary. “She’s in apartment 110.”

I could just get out and wave down a taxi, but I didn’t do that. A part of me wanted to have this lunch. A part of me enjoyed the fact that London went to such lengths to see me again. After not speaking for two weeks, I wondered if she’d given up on me. I wanted her to let me go, but at the same time, I wanted her to fight for me.

I got out and located her apartment in the complex. I stood in front of the door for a minute, thinking about how this lunch would go. My cock hardened when I pictured us ending up on her bed, screwing on the old mattress that had probably been there since the complex was built. It didn’t matter how many women I slept with to get over her, they were never as good in the sack as she was.

I missed it.

Instead of knocking, I walked inside. She invaded my personal space by sending her brother to commandeer my car, so I didn’t feel any remorse for barging into her place when she was expecting me. “I need some painkillers before I leave. Dunbar is gonna wake up with one hell of a migraine.”

She stood at the kitchen counter and turned around when I made my announcement. Instead of looking annoyed, she stared at me exactly the way she used to, like she missed me after I’d been gone at work all day.

I loved that look, and that fucking terrified me.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” She grabbed the two plates and set them on the small wooden table that hugged the small living room. Her standard of living was poor, even by poor standards.

But I didn’t have the audacity to insult her. I took a seat at the table and stared at her.

She sat down and poured me a glass of my own scotch, knowing I wouldn’t have wanted water or anything else. She took the seat across from me, looking fine in the dark blue dress she wore. She was overdressed for the occasion, so I knew that outfit was specifically picked to impress me.

And it did.

It was the first time she’d ever cooked for me, and I stared down at the meal of chicken, salad, and rice. It smelled good, and it smelled even better because she was the first woman to ever make me anything. Josephine couldn’t cook if her life depended on it. A life of royalty had made her inherently lazy and stupid. “This looks good.”

“Thanks.” She placed her napkin in her lap and began to eat like she hadn’t just kidnapped me.

“Is this how you get all your dates?”

“Just the ones I really like.”

I forced myself not to smile in response, but it was difficult to do. Even under the extreme circumstance, our chemistry was evident. She was the only person in the world who could make my anger disappear without even trying. I grabbed my fork and ate, surprised how good it was. “Looks like you can save lives and cook.”

“I’m a woman of many talents.”

I drank my scotch as I stared at her, taking advantage of the fact that her gaze was averted so I could look at her. She didn’t get right to the point immediately, but I knew it was coming. She was giving me a false sense of security, a comfort that wouldn’t last long.

“You’re going golfing this weekend?” she asked, keeping the conversation light.

“Yeah. It’s a charity event. I go every year.”

“That should be fun. But it’ll probably be cold.”

I drank the rest of my scotch, downing an entire glass before I even finished my meal. London probably noticed, but she didn’t make a comment about it. My health was none of her concern anymore. “It’s always cold in London. I’m used to it.”

“How are you at golf?”

I wasn’t one to brag. “Not too bad.”

“I’ve never played.”

“It can get a little boring after the ninth hole.” Now we were talking like we used to, the conversation flowing even though the topic of discussion was mediocre. It didn’t matter how close Ariel and I were—we’d never had this kind of relationship. The only person I’d experienced it was with London. The fact that she sucked me in so easily only fueled my anger. “Let’s get to the point, London. I have a plane to catch.” I didn’t eat all of my food even though I wanted to, just to make a statement. I wasn’t going to eat her cooking and picture her making my meals. That was exactly what she wanted.

“The point?” she asked. “I just wanted to see you. There is no point.” She did something different with her makeup, making her eyes darker and her lashes longer. I liked the smoky look, the prominence of her cheekbones and the fullness of her lips.

I poured another glass of scotch just to spite her.

She hid her annoyance, but I knew it burned under the surface.

“You know I’m leaving in a week. My position here at the clinic is over, and I need to get back to New York.”

I knew her time here was running out. She gave herself a month to make it work with me, and not a day longer.

She set her fork down, not finishing her food either. She looked me square in the eye, unflinching, strong, and beautiful. “It’s been a few weeks now. I’m assuming you’ve had a chance to think about what I said.”

That’s all I’d been thinking about. “It doesn’t change anything. You know that.”

She gripped her glass of scotch but didn’t take a drink. “I can apologize as many times as you need to hear it, but you have yet to apologize to me.”

“Apologize for what?” I asked incredulously.

“For keeping me as a prisoner to begin with.”

I’d never apologize for that. I drank from my glass, dismissing her comment.

“My point is, neither one of us is innocent. But we love each other. Whatever we have is special, real. I know it is. I can see it in your eyes right now.”

Why did I have to give myself away so easily? Why did she have to read me like a goddamn book? “It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. It’s over. So go back to New York and leave me the hell alone.” I pushed her away harder, trying to get her off my mind forever.

She didn’t flinch. “Crewe, when I leave next week, I’m not coming back. When I land in New York, I’m going to push you from my thoughts and move on with my life. I’m gonna find someone else to spend my life with. I’m not going to mope around and miss you. If you want me, now is the time to say something.”

My fingers gripped the glass tighter.

“I’m not bluffing, Crewe. Drop your pride and work with me on this.”

Now that there was a timer set, I felt the weight of the situation. If I ever found out she got married and had kids, even if it were years down the road, I’d be devastated. Even when knew she tricked me, I couldn’t let Ariel hurt her. I didn’t know why I loved this woman after the way she deceived me.

But I did.

“This is the only offer I’m gonna make.”

She stilled at my words, anxious for me to finish.

“And these conditions are nonnegotiable.”

“I’m listening,” she whispered.

“You come back with me—as my prisoner. You forsake your previous life completely. I’ll fuck you when I feel like it, spend time with you if I’m in the mood, but I don’t owe you anything else. I’m free to do what I want, when I want.” I was offering her the life I offered her in the beginning—one without promises. If she wanted to be with me again, she’d be the one to make all the sacrifices.

Her eyes narrowed in disappointment. “You’re asking me to be your slave?”

I nodded.

“To have no voice? To have no rights?”

I nodded again. “Take it or leave it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a loathing look, the same kind she used to give me when we first met—when she hated me. “You’re being serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Then I’ll leave it. No man in the world is worth it—certainly not you.” She left the table and carried her dishes to the sink, dismissing the meal even though our plates were still full. Her back was turned to me, so I couldn’t see her face.

I waited for her to say something else, to tell me what she was thinking. But nothing else came.

She walked back to the table, looking indifferent as she grabbed my plate. “You can go, Crewe. We have nothing more to say to each other.”

I’d successfully pushed her away. I’d successfully made her give up. “You don’t have any of your own demands?”

“You said it was nonnegotiable.”

I could just walk out, but my ass didn’t leave the chair. “Everything is negotiable.”

She threw my plate in the sink, where it shattered loudly. She turned back around, all her love and affection gone. “I thought things were different, Crewe. I thought you actually loved me, and when someone loves someone, they treat them like a human being. The fact that you want to keep me under your thumb, to boss me around like you own me, tells me that nothing was ever real between us. I’m not a thing, a possession, a pawn in your world. Your constant need to own and control everything is despicable, especially when you think you can apply it to me. Now I know this never would have worked, that I should have left when I had the chance. I don’t feel bad for leaving—because there was never a reason to stay.”

I put on a good face for my weekend in London, talking to old friends, acquaintances, and people with astute business minds. When I was surrounded by like-minded people familiar with noble aristocracy, I was in my element.

But all I thought about was her.

I pushed her buttons—hard. Freedom was a hard limit for her, a topic she wouldn’t negotiate, and I disrespected it.

But she disrespected me when she lied to me.

I shouldn’t feel bad about what I did because I’d accomplished what I set out to do. I pushed her away so she wouldn’t come back. She would finally leave me alone and leave our relationship where it belonged—in the past.

At the end of the weekend, I retired to my hotel room alone. When I was away from Scotland, I usually entertained myself with a beautiful woman. Sometimes she was a regular, and sometimes she was someone I bumped into at the bar. I wasn’t picky when it came to choosing a partner. There were lots of degrees of attractiveness, and if she had a pretty smile and soft skin, she usually fit the bill.

But now I didn’t want anyone.

I drank alone then went to bed alone. The last time I slept well was when London was with me. Ever since that night, I tossed and turned in the enormous bed with cold sheets. I didn’t listen to her melodic breathing as she slept. Sometimes she talked in her sleep, and that always made me laugh.

But I didn’t want anyone to join me.

Sasha helped with the loneliness, but she also made it worse sometimes. I constantly compared her to London, the woman I truly wanted to have. No matter how much she hurt me, my cock missed her pussy.

He missed her more than I did.

I lay in my bed and looked out the window. A stormy sky had just spread over the city, and slowly, drops of rain began to pelt the glass. The rain came slowly, and then it pounded against the glass as the storm picked up. Soon, it became background noise, the only soothing thing in my life right now.

I missed Fair Isle. I hadn’t been there in a long time, too busy working in Scotland to return. I only slept with London once while we were there, and now I wished we could both hide away there and forget the rest of the world—with Finley, of course.

But that would never happen.

My phone rang on my nightstand, and I immediately snatched it because I knew it was important. Nobody would call me at this hour unless they had something valuable to impart to me. I didn’t even check the screen before I answered. “This is Crewe.”

“It’s Dunbar,” he responded. “I just wanted to let you know she left Scotland. Her plane took off a few hours ago.”

I’d asked him to notify me if her situation ever changed. She said she was leaving in a week, but she obviously cut the trip short—because she gave up on me. I listened to the rain as I stayed on the phone, unsure how to respond. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Good night, sir.” He hung up.

I kept the phone to my ear even though he was gone. I listened to the line go dead before I tossed the phone back onto the nightstand. My eyes immediately returned to the window, where the water stuck to the glass then dripped down.

She really left.

It was over.

I’d never have to hear from her again.

I could go back to my life.

It should come as a relief, like a toxin had been removed from my bloodstream. But instead of feeling joyful, I felt something else entirely.

Pain.