It was late and the sun was setting. Cassidy stood on the front porch of her dad’s home and stared at the blues and oranges and the way the sky looked completely at peace. She longed for that peace.

After seeing Anthony at the practice stadium yesterday, she’d come back to the ranch and avoided Kyle.

It nearly tore her heart out, the way Kyle kept trying to talk to her, but she … just couldn’t.

Today, she’d left early and gone to the library, finding sanctuary in the books. She’d finished up the article on Anthony and then brought dinner home for all of them. She’d avoided looking at Kyle and avoided any kind of conversation.

After the dinner was through her father had gotten up in a huff and turned to her. “He deserves to, at least, be heard out.”

It should have been embarrassing for her father to say that, because Kyle was sitting at the table and could hear it, but the odd thing had been was that she hadn’t felt embarrassed.

Turning to Kyle, she’d nodded and stood. “Let’s talk after I clean up the kitchen.”

“I’ll clean up.” Kyle offered.

“No.” She said stoically, getting up and collecting plates, feeling like she was on automation. That she needed that automation to be able to keep going.

Now, it was after she’d cleaned up, but she hadn’t gone to him. Her heart was thudding erratically inside her chest and she had so many things that needed worked out between them, but she hadn’t been able to go to him.

Anthony’s face flashed into her mind and a sudden rush of tears burned at the back of her eyes. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to feel?

For a second she thought she might pass out, then she commanded herself to take in a breath and she held to the deck, feeling dizzy. She hadn’t really eaten any of the dinner she’d brought them, in fact, she hadn’t really eaten at all now that she’d thought about it.

The screen door creaked open.

“Cassidy.” His voice was a whisper, but then he was next to her, reaching for her arm. “You don’t look good.”

Turning to him, smelling the Irish Spring of him, she was reorienting her brain. Another round of tears filled her eyes, this time because she was thinking about how she’d been acting. “I’m sorry.”

“Ahh.” He put his arms around her and she melted into his embrace.

His dog tags touched her head and the hardness of his chest felt…like home.

Only now…her home had changed again.

With Anthony.

Or had it?

She blinked and just let herself give in to Kyle. His strength, the fact he was back after being behind enemy lines for six months and he was comforting her.

“You’re in shock, sweetheart.” Gently, he brushed his lips on her forehead and turned so he was leaning against the porch post and she was leaning on him. “Survivor’s shock…that’s what they call it.” He brushed her hair down her head and onto her shoulders over and over. “Shh.” He whispered as she felt herself relax more and more.

Yes, this was Kyle. The man she loved. The man she’d been engaged to. The man she was going to have kids and dogs with in the suburbs.

“I’m so sorry, baby, for all you’ve been through. I can understand why you’ve been so … unwilling to talk to me. I just show up and … obviously you’ve been seeing him.”

Anthony’s face flashed into her mind.

Yes, Anthony. Once again all the memories that had been on display on the screen of her mind the past two weeks now rushed forward, taking the spotlight…him on his horse, pretending to kick her off his property, kissing him for the first time next to her treehouse, dancing with him at the club and falling to pieces, then watching him play the song he wrote for her. She hadn’t really realized it until this moment, but the last two weeks hadn’t just been her falling back in love with Anthony…it had been her heart healing from the past ten years of missing him, wondering about him, needing him.

Guilt.

It washed into her like the bubonic plague that had taken out London in one fell swoop, leaving millions dead, shattered…and the stench of death.

Seeming to sense her shift in mood, Kyle firmly placed his hands onto her shoulders and tugged her back, staring into her eyes. “Cassidy, don’t shut me out.”

“No, it’s my fault.” She said more decidedly. She accepted all the blame. She deserved all the blame, didn’t she? For falling in love with someone else. Correction, for never … falling out of love really. “All of it’s my fault.”

Kyle pulled back and peered into her eyes and she was stunned staring up at his perfectly green ones. The ones she’d prayed for, thought about in her mind a thousand times when he’d been away putting himself in harm’s way for…her…for her country. His eyes misted. “I love you, Cass, I never stopped. You got me home.”

She didn’t know what she was doing…but all she could think as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers.

Was that she loved him, too.

She did.

* * *

The next day, Cassidy found herself parked in front of Anthony’s house. This neighborhood was fancy, which she had expected. She’d never been to his home and had needed to look up his address. Now she found herself unable to get out of the car. Her heart raced and her hands were shaky. She wondered if she was having some kind of anxiety attack.

She’d been trying to call him and text him for two days. Two days. It wasn’t just that she needed to finish one final thing for the article—it was the fact that he thought he could ignore her!

Plus, she needed to tell him something important. Something that didn’t have anything to do with the article. Something that he deserved to hear from her.

As she sat looking up at Anthony’s custom-built mansion, she had no idea what she was doing. The seconds ticked by into minutes. She sat in the car.

Finally, she got out of the car and started walking up to the front door. It was daunting and huge, kind of like the man himself, and she didn’t know how to face him.

Trembling, she held her hands together, figuring she could silence the worry. It didn’t help. She stopped on the steps, once again paralyzed, thinking about what to say.

There was no way of telling how long she’d stood there, when the front door jerked open and Scar came out. She could tell he was surprised she was there too, because he stumbled, taking her down with him. They tumbled to the ground. Luckily, the grass cushioned their fall.

Anthony appeared at the doorway. “Cassidy?” He rushed down the steps.

Even though Scar was standing up next to her, it was like everything else melted away.

Anthony helped her up. She noticed he looked like complete crap. He wore workout shorts and a white T-shirt with gym shoes. His face looked swollen and the side of his lip was cut.

“What happened to you?” she asked and touched the cut above his lip.

Anthony only stared into her eyes, still holding her.

Her heart rate pounded and the details of the scene rushed over her. The way he smelled like laundry soap and how his eyes looked bloodshot. The way she felt in his arms, the sheer strength of him. The concern on his face.

Scar quickly retreated. “Check you later, Kincaid.”

Anthony didn’t turn to look at his friend leaving. He didn’t let her go, either. “Okay.”

Scar drove away and Anthony leaned in, placing his lips on hers, more gentle than he’d ever been before.

Every part of her told her to stop this. To tell him what she needed to tell him and leave, but she couldn’t.

He deepened the kiss, seeming to drink from her. Even though she had no idea what she was doing, she drank from him, too, pulling him closer to her. Time felt suspended, and this felt so right.

Seconds ticked by into minutes and it made her to smile to think about how they were making out in front of his house. Guilt flitted through her because she’d just been kissing Kyle yesterday.

Finally, he leaned back, staring into her eyes, searching them. “I’ve missed you.”

Once again she surveyed his face; bloodshot eyes, bruised cheeks. Her heart raced. “Anthony … I need to talk to you.”

He put a finger to her lips and shook his head. With his hand holding hers, he pulled her up the steps. “I need to talk to you first.”

She followed, feeling the buzz of anticipation. There was something just about to break free to the surface; she could sense it.

His house was every bit what she would expect it to be: decorated beautifully, but with a male touch. He didn’t stop to show her around, but simply pulled her through the living room, down the hall to a kitchen, and stopped. Pulling his hand back, he dragged it through his hair. “Cassidy, there’s been something I’ve needed to tell you.” He sighed. “Something I should have told you when you first started this article.”

She could not imagine what he was talking about. Especially right now, when she was here to dig through the mud of the fact her dead ex was alive again. “Okay.” It was funny to her that she actually felt calmer.

Turning away from her, he went to a drawer and pulled out a bottle. A pill bottle. He held it up. “Look at it.”

Peering closer, she read, “Oxycodone.” She took the pill bottle and shook it—nothing. Her heart sank. “Anthony?”

“When you were asking about my timeline and you asked why I went to Zion’s … well, I didn’t go for fun.” He looked like he was going to puke.

“Anthony,” she said, getting worried.

“I was at a rehab program. I … after my injuries, I got addicted to pills. I didn’t think I had, but I was. By the time I was addicted, everything was falling apart. I couldn’t function without them and …”

She was stunned. “You lied to me?”

“I’m …” He clenched a hand into a fist.

It suddenly made sense, this off feeling she’d had.

He took her hand. “All my rationalization. That I was protecting Kade, the Titans, myself, it all sounds pathetic, and I’m sorry. Because I realized I don’t care. I don’t care if you put it in your article. I don’t care if you choose Kyle. I’ll hate it, but I care about you knowing the truth. I care that I am always truthful in our relationship.”

She eyed the empty bottle of pills, almost hearing the click of each puzzle piece falling into place. Then she thought of the other night with him on his knee. “I was going to say yes.”

Instantly, he looked like he would cry. “You were?”

Impossibly, her pulse increased. She couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t even fathom that he’d … hidden this from her. “Isn’t the first rule for addicts complete honesty?”

Looking caught, he swallowed. “I know, I screwed up. I can dice it a million ways why I did it, but the truth is I messed up.”

Her mind was swimming. He’d lied to her. She sucked in a breath. “I came to tell you I’m leaving.”

He looked like he’d been sucker punched. “What? With Kyle?”

Every part of her was tense. “We’re going back to Florida.”

A severe scowl washed over his face. “You chose him?” His voice was soft.

For a second she didn’t answer, still unable to believe he’d lied to her the whole time about the pills. She wanted to scream, yell. She wanted … for all of these questions in her mind to stop for a second. “My old boss wants me back. My dad is good now, so … there’s no reason to stay.” Even as she said the words she blinked, trying not to cry.

He shook his head, clenching one hand into a fist. “There’s a reason to stay, Cass.”

She took off for the front door, feeling angrier and angrier about what he’d confessed.

“Wait! Cass!” He reached for the back of her bicep.

“No!” she roared, pulling away from him, feeling like … she didn’t know what, but she knew she needed space. She flung the front door open and started down the stairs.

“I love you, Cass.”

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, she looked up at the tears on his face. It upset her more than she expected. He was crying. She’d never seen him do that. Not since his mother’s death.

Hesitating, they just stared at each other. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath for a minute, feeling like she would explode. “Are you still addicted?” She blurted.

He let out a breath. “No. I did the six-week program and I haven’t touched the things since. I take nothing for pain.” He gestured to the driveway. “I’ve been sparring with Scar to help with … things. And I made an appointment with a therapist this morning, not really for the pills, but … well, to talk through my feelings for you.”

Sparring? That explained why his lip was cut.

Slowly, he closed his eyes and pushed his thumbs into them. “Are you … are you still in love with Kyle?”

It felt easier to answer his question after his confession. “Of course I still love him. I was engaged to him.”

The pain on his face seemed to dry up and she recognized his media mask put into place. “I guess that’s that.”

Unable to believe she had found herself in this position in her life, she felt like things were ending. It was breaking her heart, but she didn’t know what to do. She stood there, paralyzed.

The mask slipped and he rushed down the stairs, taking her hand. “I’m sorry, Cass. I should have told you, but if I would have told you, it would have ended up in the article and it would have hurt the people I love.”

She let out a soft laugh, unable to believe what he was saying. “Aren’t I someone you love?”

Looking flabbergasted, he dropped her hand. “You know you are.”

The center of her chest erupted with pain. More pain than she felt she could bear. She stared into his beautiful face, her own tears now streaming down her face. “I would never have sold you out, Boss. Never.” With that said, she fled to her car.