Chapter Twenty-Two

AFTER BREAKFAST there was too much to do before Jordan could have his talk with Phyl; at least that was what he told himself. He wanted to check on Marina and some of their other problem children. Plus, they had four new horses in pretty rough shape to deal with now, and Russ needed his help giving each of them a thorough examination and taking notes on problems to discuss with Dr. Watney.

Eventually, though, the rush of activity slowed to normal, and Russ moved on to his training sessions, leaving Jordan to his regular barn upkeep duties. Despite an attack of nerves, Jordan squared his shoulders, put his wheelbarrow and shovel aside, and headed for the house with a determined stride before he completely chickened out.

What’s the worst that could happen?

She could say no, and he’d lose his safety net.

But he wasn’t a child. In some areas, he might be almost as helpless and ignorant as one, but he had options. He’d rather not just leap from the nest, but he could if it became necessary.

Internal pep talk done, he marched up to Phyllis’s small office and knocked on the doorjamb before poking his head through the opening.

“Got a minute?” he asked when she lifted her head and smiled at him.

She pulled off her reading glasses and raised her eyebrows. “Sure, hon. What can I do for you?”

So this was what a job interview felt like. Not quite as bad as facing his father across the man’s carved mahogany desk, but still a little unnerving.

With a nervous swallow, he sat in the small wood chair in front of her desk and launched into his proposal, hardly stopping for breath.

“You want to stay on here, full-time?” Phyllis asked.

“Yes.”

Her brows knit. “Are you sure, hon? I mean, this isn’t exactly where you’re from, if you catch my meaning. And what about your folks and all that business back home? I know your mom’s gotta be worried about you. Now might not be the best time for you to be making big decisions.”

“If that’s all you’re worried about, don’t be. You may not know my father well, but believe me, I do. He’s made his decision. And even though I can hold out some future hope my mother or some earth-shattering event might change his mind somewhere down the road, I can’t plan my life around that. He’ll either come around or he won’t, but that makes no difference to the fact that I need to take control of my own life. I need to find a new direction to go in because the old one was wrong. I’m happy here, Phyl. I’m proud of what the ranch does, and I’m proud of being able to contribute to that.”

Her gaze turned soft as her tanned, weathered face crinkled into smile lines. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Look. I’ve seen the books. I know you can’t afford to bring me on as an employee right now, but like I said, I have ideas to help with the fundraising, and I’m willing to make improvements and updates to the blog and website, and find a job somewhere around here to pay the bills in the meantime. Hopefully I won’t have to commute all the way to Dallas every day, but I’m willing to, if it means I can stay on here with all of you. I’ll still put in all the hours I can at the ranch, to earn my keep. I promise.”

She pursed her lips, but her eyes were smiling at him. “We’ll need to talk to Russ before I give a final say,” she warned.

“I know. I’d like to talk to him alone, first. I just wanted to discuss it with you before I broached the subject, since, in the end, it’s your ranch, and I do think I can be useful here.”

“You already are, hon.” Her smile fell away as she studied his face. “You know, Russ isn’t as tough as he likes to let on. Once he gives his heart to somethin’, that’s it. He’s done. Whatever it is you two got going on really isn’t my business. But as a friend, I’m gonna ask you to think real hard before you make any promises to him.”

“I will. I have been.”

“You’ve got a lot goin’ on in the emotion department right now. I can’t pretend to understand all you’re feelin’, but are you sure you don’t want to take a bit more time to settle into your skin?”

Blowing out a long breath, Jordan shook his head and smiled ruefully. “My life’s been on hold for as long as I can remember. I can’t pretend to know what I’m going to want five years down the road, but at some point, I need to start living instead of just thinking about it. The last thing I want to do is hurt Russ. You have my word I’ll do everything in my power to keep that from happening, okay?”

With a sigh, she nodded and gave him a small smile. She opened her mouth, but whatever she was going to stay was cut off by the sound of tires on the gravel drive. Frowning, she stood and peeked out the window.

“We’re not expecting any deliveries today,” she murmured. “Wonder who that could be.”

She came around the desk and patted him on the arm as Jordan stood. “Come on. You go have that talk with Russ while I go see who that is, and we can all get together over lunch after. How’s that sound?”

Blowing out a relieved breath, Jordan smiled. “It sounds great. Thanks, Phyllis.”

“Phyl,” she corrected.

“Phyl,” he said with a smile.

If he were a hugger, he would have totally picked her up and swung her around, but he wasn’t quite there yet… maybe in time.

Giddy with possibilities and butterflies in his stomach over the upcoming talk with Russ, Jordan almost plowed into Phyllis’s back on the front porch when she stopped dead at the top of the stairs.

“Oh Lordy,” Phyllis whispered.

Following her gaze, Jordan saw a young dark-skinned man in jeans and a green-and-white-striped short-sleeve polo striding across the gravel toward the paddock where Russ had been gentling Aubrey, a gray-and-white splotched palomino. As they watched, Russ hopped over the fence and jogged toward the man. The two collided in a hug, and Russ lifted the other man off the ground.

“Is that—” Jon asked from the bottom of the stairs.

“Yup,” Ernie answered, coming up to join the three of them.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Jon said with a laugh. “The one that got away came back for another go.”

“Jon!” Phyllis hissed.

“What?”

All three of them turned to look at Jordan. Phyllis gave Jon a pointed look, and the man actually blushed.

“Oh.”

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Jordan cleared his throat and asked, “Who’s that?”

He tried to make it sound like he was only mildly curious, but the look on Phyllis’s face told him he failed miserably.

“That’s Isaiah,” she answered gently.

He and Phyllis moved to join Jon and Ernie at the bottom of the stairs as Russ and Isaiah ended their enthusiastic greeting and headed their way. Phyllis gave Jordan’s arm a little squeeze before stepping forward to greet the newcomer.

“Hey there, stranger. Welcome back,” she called.

Russ’s cheeks were flushed beneath his tan, and his grin was wider than Jordan had ever seen it. He practically glowed.

Jordan studied the newcomer, his earlier joy fading with each second that ticked past. Close up, Isaiah was intimidatingly beautiful. He topped everyone there by a good couple of inches in height. His amber eyes were striking in contrast to the rich deep brown of his skin and black close-cropped hair. His well-muscled frame belonged on a magazine cover. Jordan smoothed a hand down his shirt until he realized how ridiculous the effort was, given he was dressed in one of Russ’s faded work T-shirts. Without lifting a finger, Russ’s ex made him feel scrawny, plain, and shabby, a sensation he was definitely not accustomed to anywhere other than his father’s office.

He’d thought he was jealous when his little sister drooled over Russ. He’d been mistaken. This was what real jealousy felt like.

It hurt.

Russ had dropped his arm from the other man’s shoulder when they drew close, but the image was still burned into Jordan’s psyche. Swallowing down a sudden queasiness, he plastered on his patented Thorndike smile and joined the rest of them.

“Phyl!” Isaiah boomed as he swooped in and lifted the woman into a hug. “You look as stunning as ever.”

“Oh, go on with you,” she chuckled, but her cheeks reddened just the same.

“Jon… Ernie,” Isaiah said to each man before shaking their hands in turn. “Glad to see you guys still holding down the fort. The ranch looks incredible. You’ve made a lot of improvements while I’ve been gone.”

Isaiah’s gaze landed curiously on Jordan. Phyllis opened her mouth, but thankfully—before Jordan could throw one hell of an internal tantrum—Russ stepped forward and draped an arm around his shoulders.

“Jordan, babe, this is Isaiah, a good friend. He’s been in Africa for a couple of years with Doctors Without Borders.”

“And South America too,” Isaiah added with a smile, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you, Jordan.”

Jordan shook it, giving as firm a grip as he got, and Isaiah’s gorgeous amber eyes raked over him with a little more intense scrutiny. Russ’s touch steadied him, and the green monster inside him at least stopped growling, even if it didn’t slip completely back under the rock from whence it came.

Before the moment could become awkward—or any more awkward—Phyllis clapped her hands and said, “Well, why don’t we all go inside. I’ll get us somethin’ to drink, and you can tell us about what you’ve been up to, Isaiah.”

Jordan saw Isaiah’s gaze shoot sideways to Russ, like he’d had other plans, but he smiled and bowed to Phyl. “Lead the way. I’ve been dreaming about your lemonade for three years now, Phyl. Please tell me you can put me out of my misery.”

“I’ll do better than that, hon. I made a full pitcher just this morning, and it’s just waitin’ for ya.”

AFTER WHAT felt like the longest lunch in the history of mankind, Jordan scurried to the barn to sulk while Russ walked Mr. Perfect to his car. Car wasn’t exactly the right word to describe the enormous gleaming black Expedition that dwarfed Jordan’s red convertible in the parking area. It served as the perfect metaphor for the way he was feeling at that moment.

That’s me, small and shiny but not particularly practical, next to that behemoth that could carry a family of six and all their gear through rough country and smooth, plus tow a horse trailer if need be.

At least neither one of the vehicles looked particularly at home on the ranch. He had that bit of consolation to hold on to.

The long and short of the conversation around the kitchen table had been that Isaiah Green was practically perfect in every way. Not only was the man a doctor who’d passed on a lucrative residency to do charity work in underdeveloped countries for the last two-plus years, but he was a self-made man who’d worked his way up from a disadvantaged childhood. And now he was back in the area indefinitely, a gleaming addition to a prestigious hospital in Houston, come home to help take care of his aging parents.

“A paragon. A fucking saint,” Jordan groaned.

And Russ had been in love with him before Isaiah had gone off to save the world. It was written all over Russ’s face every time he looked at Isaiah. Jordan had actually thrown up what little he’d eaten at lunch before coming outside with everyone else to say goodbye. Now he was hiding in the back of the barn with his face pressed into Marina’s neck, wondering how in the hell he was supposed to compete with that.

“Why did he have to be a fucking god?” he murmured miserably into Marina’s shoulder. “I mean, come on. How is that even fair?”

“Jordan? You in here?” Russ called from the door.

With a groan, Jordan patted Marina’s neck one more time and stepped away. By the time Russ reached him, Jordan had composed himself enough that he hoped the sick feeling in his stomach didn’t show.

“There you are. Wow. That was somethin’, huh?” Russ blew out a breath, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes a bit wide. “I haven’t seen him in three years and up he pops, no call or nothin’.”

“You didn’t know he was back?”

“Nope. He said he wanted to surprise me. That was some surprise.”

Russ’s smile seemed forced. Jordan supposed he was trying to look reassuring, trying to hide that he was rattled, but Russ sucked at hiding. If he wasn’t blustering and grouching or teasing and laughing, his mask didn’t cover his feelings for shit.

“He should have called,” Jordan grumbled.

“Yeah, probably,” Russ replied absently.

If he’d been hoping for any indignation or criticism of Isaiah, apparently he was going to be disappointed. Unsure how to proceed, he worried his lower lip and studied the man he thought he knew so well.

“Still, it’s great he can come back to help his parents,” Jordan offered when he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “I’m sure they’re very happy to have him home, safe and sound, after traveling all over the world like that.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Rita and Kenneth will be ecstatic to have him home, though they were really proud of him for going.” Russ gave Jordan another absent smile before turning his attention to Marina. “How’s our girl today? Is she ready for a little workout?”

With equal parts guilt and relief, Jordan jumped at the change of subject, and before too long, Russ was leading Marina out into the paddock for a little one-on-one time while Jordan set to his tasks with the same feverish intensity he’d given them his first days on the ranch.

He could not afford to think too much right now, or he really might lose his shit.

One thing was certain, now was not the time to try to have that talk with Russ. At least not until Russ stopped walking around looking like someone had just smacked him in the head with a board or he’d been struck by lightning.

Jordan might be overreacting. He didn’t know the particulars of their relationship or their breakup. There could be absolutely nothing to worry about. But he’d never seen Russ thrown for a loop before, and that queasy feeling in his stomach wasn’t going away until Russ started acting like his old self again.