The cool, crisp…empty sheets woke me from my deep slumber. I kept reaching across my bed, expecting for my fingers to meet warm flesh before I opened my eyes.

When I finally managed to pry my heavy lids apart, I shot straight up in the bed.

No Jaime.

I lifted the sheet to cover my naked breasts, the chill in the room raising bumps all over my skin. My gaze darted to every crevice of my room, my eyes lingering on the panel of wall that led to the palace tunnel Jaime had used to sneak in here last night. After staring at it for ten minutes straight, it was clear he hadn’t rushed out to grab us morning tea.

My shoulders dropped, and I tried to ignore the weight sinking in the bottom of my heart. Last night…things had changed. I’d submitted to him, and him to me. Or so I’d thought.

We’d struck this bargain, or I had, that ensured we wouldn’t become more to each other. It was too dangerous. He had to become King, and I had plans of my own. Help him secure his queen and become the ruler Elleston has always needed. To return home where a prestigious, coveted position at the Foundation for Women’s Progression awaited me. I was proud of that offer, and couldn’t wait to accept the position and start making something of my title, do something that was solely mine, and not attached to the royal family that I loved so much.

Love.

Jaime. God damn him.

I’d never stood a chance. I’d loved him for much longer than I’d ever admit—that truth tucked away in a locked box deep inside the crevices of my mind. A place where proper ladies hide their most intimate secrets and only pull them out in the secluded darkness of their private bedrooms, and only in times of desperate need. Jaime had his own box. And it wasn’t one I often visited because it was too painful.

Now. Things had changed, and yet they hadn’t.

He was the one promised to someone else, now, despite his heavy feet when selecting his bride.

And me?

I was doing the one thing I wasn’t supposed to. I was letting those secret dreams slip through the keyhole of that box, floating to the surface, begged out by the power Jaime had over my body, my heart.

A full body flush raked over my skin, and I touched my lips. Flashes from last night consumed my mind, making my heart race and heat rush to my thighs. The man was incredible. No, he was more than that. It was like he’d been made for me. He’d awoken me, shook up my soul, and ravaged me all at once.

Being a virgin at my age, I’d had countless years of fantasizing about my first time. He’d blown all of my wildest dreams out of the water. But, of course, Jaime had never had a problem blowing women’s minds.

The cold penetrated my skin and sank into my bones.

I was the one who said this couldn’t be more than a satisfying our years of sexual tension. I’d said we couldn’t be more.

And yet, more is what I’d demanded of him last night. He’d given it to me and then some. He’d taken my heart, tattooed his name across it just like that damned gardenia under his hip bone. His delicious, perfectly sexy hip bone.

“I’d always think of you reading in the gardenias, those moments when you were mine before we both knew you were his. I simply let my skin reflect my heart.”

I’d believed him. I’d let go of the world and become his in those moments. Maybe I’d always been his.

But now he was gone. Like this had been what I’d said it would be in the first place—just sex, nothing more.

How many women had he left like this in the dawn? I hated that I’d seen his pattern too many times. That I knew I’d never be able to put a number to what had been his past. One he was completely entitled to but one that now crushed the breath from my lungs.

Could last night have really meant more to me than it had to him? I thought I knew him better than that, thought we were on the same page.

A virgin who knows nothing. Frigid.

I cringed against the hateful, doubtful bitch who tainted my thoughts. He didn’t think that. He wouldn’t have made love to me a second and third time if that were the case…or was it simply…fucking? God, I didn’t even know enough to know the difference.

It felt real.

It still felt real. My heart threatened to burst with the idea of happiness, of having Jaime as mine, and having more nights like last night…

A shudder rippled down my spine, and I shifted in the bed. A sharp twinge of pain pulsed between my thighs, but it wasn’t so unpleasant. A sort of soreness I was beyond pleased to have earned. If anything, at least I had that with him, held on to that part of him for that time.

I rubbed my palms over my face, slipping out of the bed and into my silk robe. Jaime couldn’t abdicate the throne, not like Xander did, and I needed to go home. I needed to live a life that was my own, one where I made choices for myself, choices that weren’t up to a Parliament or a royal family.

An ache wrenched itself in my chest. Jaime had always been a painful dream. One I knew I’d never be strong enough to survive.

Rushing to the bathroom, I ripped off the robe, ready for a hot shower to help rid me of the tangled web of thoughts threatening to suffocate me. I paused when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My lips were swollen, my skin flushed and puckered, my eyes bright and churning, and my face hardened in pain.

Jaime.

The man was capable of transforming me into this—a wild woman, desirable, starved for him.

I quickly stepped into the shower as if I could outrun the thoughts shredding my soul. I was in love with him and had been much longer than I’d ever admit.

The steam surrounding me was heavy with the scent of Jaime and me combined—something unique and signature to us. To what happened between us last night. The warm water rolled down my oversensitive skin, and I could almost feel his fingers on me. The way he’d been gentle yet demanding, soft yet hard in all the places I desperately needed.

My fingers slick with the gardenia-scented soap, I closed my eyes and only saw him. His sculpted body, his tattoo that was meant for me, for a time when a contract and his brother wasn’t between us. I heard his words, felt his breath on my ear as he whispered, felt him between my legs, saw his eyes as they’d locked with mine and penetrated straight into my soul.

A humming need pulsed deep in my core, and I snapped my eyes open.

I craved the man despite having him in my bed only hours ago. Despite knowing we had two weeks left if anything. He may be done with me. That may be the reason he’d bolted before I woke up this morning. Perhaps he’d gotten the taste of me out of his mouth—satisfied that craving that had built between us for a decade.

The thought had the ache between my thighs fighting an angry fight, begging me to say it wasn’t true, say last night wouldn’t be the only night with Jaime.

I sighed, hating that my body and heart raged a war my mind knew had already been lost. He would marry. He would choose a queen.

And it wouldn’t be me.

Because I wanted to choose. For myself. The freedom that had never been afforded our situation.

I stepped farther under the hot, rushing water, and reached down, gently testing the sore area.

Jaime’s.

I’d told him as much last night. Told him I was his. That all that I had, he owned. And damn if he didn’t take it, claim it.

I hissed, arching my head back as I slid my fingers between myself, needing to soothe the area that was sore in the most delicious way. Jaime’s beautiful body, the way he took such care with me as if I was something precious, flashed behind my closed lids. His eyes, the way his muscles flexed as he settled himself between my thighs and moved so slow I was sure I’d combust. The man had tortured me, and I’d been a willing participant, begging him to push us harder, further, longer.

Swirling tension gathered low in my belly as I continued to circle that bundle of nerves with Jaime’s name on it. I couldn’t stop. I smelled him on me, felt him in me. My conscious reprimanded me for taking a selfish moment, for delighting in something that he’d recently awoken within me, but I told the proper Charlotte to shut up, and demanded Charlie to come out and play.

“My Charlie.”

His voice echoed in my mind, the demand in his tone, the caress in his plea.

I increased my pace, discovering myself in the way he’d shown me, and God if I didn’t wish he was here, now, with me. His glorious body, slick, soaked, hot, steam surrounding us.

My body demanded pressure, and I arched into it.

“Jaime,” I moaned as I shook around myself. His name was the release on my lips, and his memory the release for my body. It was a shade of the pleasure he’d given me, but it calmed my mind.

A crazed bit of laughter ripped from my mouth as I shut the water off. I had to give it to the man, he’d done something no one else before him had ever been able to do, and it wasn’t just take my virginity.

He’d slipped past my barriers and made me his.

* * *

An hour after my half-relaxing half-infuriating shower, I finally managed to get dressed and slip back into the public, palace-perfect Charlotte.

My pumps clicked on the marble hall as I headed toward the formal dining hall, only slightly hoping Jaime would be there dining with Ophelia, as was his schedule. I tried terribly to ignore the jealous bite in the center of my chest at the thought, but the Charlie in me was having a really hard time letting it lie.

“Come here,” a male voice demanded, and I slowed my pace, wondering if one of Jaime’s security detail needed to speak with me. I recognized the voice, but I needed a face to find the name in my never-ending catalog of palace staff. At least this little talent would come in handy when I took over at the Foundation for Women’s Progression.

I turned toward where the man had called, arching my head around the corner. A feminine giggle had me stopping short as I rounded the corner completely.

I managed not to gasp, more than a decade’s training in grace helping me bury the shock of seeing Lady Katherine and one of Oliver’s security team pressed against the wall.

Ian.

That was his name, easier to remember once Lady Katherine stopped passionately kissing him. Pity rippled through me as I saw the heat between them. Their bodies were flush, their eyes sparking, and he cradled her face in his hands. Totally in love. The fools. Yes, they were tucked into a corner of the hallway that was rarely happened upon unless you knew the shortcut to the dining hall—which I did—but still. The chances of getting caught were insane.

Maybe that only made the act more…

I clenched my eyes shut and shook off the thought. Two seconds and a deep breath, and I’d made my decision.

“Excuse me, Lady Katherine,” I said, and the poor girl jolted out of Ian’s embrace. “May I have a word?”

“Duchess of Corbin…” Ian started, but I held my hand up to stop him from defending his woman’s honor. She came to me with her head held much higher than I would’ve under the same circumstances. Surprising.

“Duchess,” she said, her tone sharp, unashamed.

“Lady Katherine,” I said, eyeing Ian for a moment who stood a few paces behind her, straightening his suit tie. “I’m sure this won’t come as a surprise, but I’m going to put word that you have stepped out of the interest in being Elleston’s future queen.”

The girl flinched, but nodded.

“You should choose who you want to wed,” I said, again eyeing Ian before returning focus to her. “Not let a title choose it for you.” I gave her a soft smile. “Being happy is much more important.”

“It is,” she said, but her eyes looked…disappointed? Maybe over getting caught in the first place? I didn’t know, but hopefully she would understand what a great chance it was that I caught her, and not someone like a paparazzi. They would’ve fed the girl to the wolves; her future reputation be damned. “I am sorry,” she said, though her words were rushed. “He knows, though,” she continued. “Well, the prince. He knows that I never wanted to marry him.”

I arched a brow at her.

Did he now?

“Very well, Lady Katherine.” I gave her a slight nod and turned on my heels; my mind lost in thought as I rounded the corner.

If Jaime knew she didn’t want to marry him, he wouldn’t have ever chosen her, which means…

He would marry Lady Ophelia. He knew that. Had known that last night…when he…

Oh God.

My stomach rolled. The fact that he’d known and still been with me, said the things he did, made love to me in such a way…

No. I sucked in a sharp breath. I would not break down. Not here. Not where anyone could walk upon me—

“Charlotte?” The Queen Mother said, and I whirled around.

Like the fucking Queen. Perfect.

I straightened my spine and mustered up the smile I’d been raised on. By the time she clicked over to me, two staff members carting suitcases behind her, I was certain there were no tears in my eyes.

“Your Majesty,” I said, and did a proper little bow.

She furrowed her brow at me. “What on earth are you doing?” She waved me off.

I glanced at the suitcases. “Going somewhere?” I asked, completely deflecting.

She smirked. “America.”

“Now?”

“Jaime and I already discussed this. I know he is in good hands with you by his side.” A knowing look flashed in her eyes, and I tried like hell not to blush. “And, like I told him, I need to get to know Willa better before she brings my grandson into the world. I’m surprising the two of them with the visit.”

“She truly is wonderful,” I said, happy to not be the topic of conversation. “You’ll see.”

She pressed her lips together. “I was going to bid Jaime farewell,” she said, pointing behind me toward the formal dining hall. “But perhaps you could deliver the message for me.”

“Absolutely.” I nodded a few too many times.

She chuckled. “Can’t wait to see you when I get back.”

“You as well. I may not be here though, so we’ll have to arrange you a visit to the coast.”

She smirked and nodded. “Naturally.”

A quick snap of her fingers and she’d spun around, the staff hurrying behind her.

Once they were well out of sight, I decided to abandon my mission of finding Jaime. Catching Katherine and Ian, plus the news that he’d already known she wasn’t interested in him, and the Queen’s too-knowing stare had me rushing back to my room. I couldn’t afford to let my emotions rule me, and if I set one pump into the dining hall and saw Jaime lunching with Lady Ophelia, chattering away about their obvious future together—well, Charlie may be unleashed with claws out.

I slammed my door shut and took a deep breath. I had no right to be jealous. This wasn’t Ophelia’s fault, or even Jaime’s. This was how our lives had been since birth.

Still, it hurt like a bitch.

A few more deep breaths and I’d composed myself enough to open my cell and make a call.

“Charlotte?” Willa answered after a few rings. “Xander just ran to the store. Could you not catch him on his cell? Sometimes the man forgets to turn the damn thing on which wouldn’t be such a big deal except for oh, I don’t know, me having his baby!”

I chuckled, her fast and furious rant spilling much-needed normality all over me. “I called to speak with you, actually,” I said once I’d stopped laughing.

“Oh,” she said. “Sorry. Habit. I always assume anyone from Elleston wants to talk to the King I robbed them of.”

“You didn’t steal anything,” I said, sighing. “He always belonged to you.”

“Okay, what happened?” She asked, her tone switching to alert.

“The Queen is about to get on a plane to surprise you. I wanted to give you a heads up.”

“Shit,” Willa snapped. “Did she just get on it? How many hours does that give me to get this place clean?”

I could almost picture her gaping at her cottage in New York, panic-stricken and tried not to laugh. “You have plenty of time. And it doesn’t have to be spotless. She needs to accept you for who you are. And she’ll love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “Not everyone is as amazing as you, Charlie—Charlotte,” she quickly amended the nickname and the sound of it was enough to bring the tears I’d kept in check to my eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…are you crying?”

“No,” I said through my tears.

“What really happened?” She asked.

I sucked in a sharp breath, gathering myself. “When you first got on that plane with Xander to come here…how did you do it?”

“Um…I kind of packed a bag and followed him through security?”

I laughed again, sighing. “You knew he was betrothed. You knew your time with him was limited.”

“Ah,” she said. “It didn’t matter,” she continued after a few moments. “I had to be with him. I didn’t care if it was two days or two months, there was something about him that I couldn’t resist. Something inside me that screamed mine and I knew I’d take whatever amount of time I had left with him. That no matter how much it would hurt in the end, it would be better than never…knowing.” She sighed. “Does that make sense? Or do I sound insane? Xander says these hormones are making me crazy at times.”

I nodded though I knew she couldn’t see me. “It makes terrifyingly perfect sense.”

“Do you want to talk about Jameson?” She asked after I’d been silent too long. His name jolted through my entire body, and my heart stuttered despite how angry I’d been moments ago.

“Who said anything about him?” I tried to play dumb.

“With you?” Willa laughed. “It’s never about Xander.”

“How soon did you see it?”

“Honestly?” She asked. “I thought you two were together before I found out you were actually Xander’s…”

“Right,” I said, not needing her to finish that sentence. “I’m out of my depth here, Willa.”

“Please,” she said. “Charlotte, you are one hell of a woman. You’d be the perfect Queen…hell, you’d be a perfect King for Elleston, and you’d also be the perfect…anything you set your mind to. You just have to set your mind to it…but I have a feeling you’re trying not to on purpose. And trust me, I get your reasoning, but…you deserve happiness, Charlotte.” She waited patiently as I struggled to find the words. “What makes you happy, Charlie?” She asked, a smirk to her tone.

I found myself smiling, but the fresh tears in my eyes reminded me just how complicated a situation I was in. “I honestly don’t know,” I said. Jaime made me happy, but he also infuriated me. “I’m trying to figure it out, though.”

“Good,” she said. “I’m always here, you know? I’m sorry I can’t hop on a plane, but I’m here for this kind of call anytime you need, okay?”

“Thank you, Willa. It means more to me than you even know.”

“Anytime. And, I’m not sure if you knew but,” she said. “Jameson? He’s the one who came and got me. The one who brought me back to Xander. He knew the consequences and the risks, but he was willing to do anything for his brother. He knew what it meant for him, and he still gave us that insane gift. I’ll never be able to repay him.”

My heart swelled. “He’s a good man.”

“Truth. So, is the risk worth it?” She asked, and it was amazing how much insight she had into my situation. We’d been in similar boats, but I had a lifetime of history with this family while she was still learning.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks and pushed off my door, nodding. “When I know the answer to that, I’ll call you.”

“Good,” she said. “And thanks for the heads up about the Queen!”

“Anytime,” I mimicked her.

We said our goodbyes, and I tossed my cell on the bed I hadn’t bothered to make. I didn’t want to lose the illusion Jaime had left on it last night.

I sank onto the side he’d slept on, at least for a few hours, and inhaled his scent. There were decisions to make, and futures to plan, but Willa had made me realize that some things are unstoppable, unavoidable.

If he still wanted me, even if solely for these last weeks we had, I would take him. I would take whatever he gave, because I was madly in love.

We’d set something into motion. Something that could ruin us both.