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As much as she hated to admit it, Emilie was beginning to worry about Carter. Three days ago she watched him leave the library, his pack bond aching wildly in his chest and she hadn't seen him much since. Today especially, she wanted to talk to him. He was the reason she had a job after all. Mr. Lasek and Emilie hit it off splendidly. And after meeting Cynthia and winning her over with stories of her students back home, she had been offered the job. Since it was a small library, she'd be doing a bit of everything. If it worked out, Mr. Lasek said he'd see what grants he could apply for so that she could go get her masters in library science.  

She bit her lip. It was probably about time she stopped calling Malone home. This little porch on her side of the century-old farmhouse was her home now. Westlin was her home.

Emilie had been there about a week and a half and not once did she have the desire to look up her old life. She missed her students. That part hit her hard every day but the rest of it was surprisingly easy to say goodbye to. Even letting go of Bobby was easy, although the guilt at what he must be feeling ate at her, she knew he would be ok once he moved on.

It may seem heartless how easily she moved on from Bobby. They had been engaged and that usually came with a serious attachment. But Emilie realized that she had been living…not a lie, exactly, but it wasn’t the truth either. Love deserved truth and trust. Neither of which she shared with Bobby, not completely.  

Dean called her twice to give her updates. He had been away the last few days. At her funeral of all places. That was one thing she could not wrap her head around. Apparently, Bobby got together a search party to look for her body which is why the funeral was so late. Obviously, they didn't find one. Emilie's casket would be an empty one.

The night was cool but she loved it. In fact, it was a perfectly crisp evening with a clear sky and a beautiful view of the Gibbous moon. It seemed the moon, like her life, was only gaining momentum.

"I should shift," she said to the quiet night. Emilie had been waiting for Carter to come home so she could tell him the good news and see how his pack was doing. The glimpses she had seen of him lately weren't good ones. He was tired. The easy going smile she had come to look forward to seeing was strained. Most nights he came home for an hour before leaving again and then not getting back again till very late. Worst of all, though, he was sad. She could see that as easily as she could feel it.

But the night called to her. It was a siren, singing Emilie forward. She had to meet her call.

She stripped on the porch and the fall breeze kissed her skin with chilled lips. Under her skin, her bear roused. Yes, she answered in thought, let’s adventure.

Emilie stepped into the yard and let her bear take over. A few days ago she had walked the little path Carter had made to where he said she was free to roam. Following it now as a bear she realized it would take a time or two for her to widen the path. It was obviously made for a wolf and not a brown bear.

Everywhere she ventured she smelled Carter. His wolf had a scent that was an aphrodisiac to her. She sniffed the trees he brushed against often and laid on the hill where the grass was trampled down for him to nap in the sun. She felt like a voyeur for peeking into his private space. But it wasn't just his anymore, this was now her space too.

So he would think of her the next time he ran, Emilie scratched her back on a few of his more favored trees.

She was on her way back when she saw him. His wolf was sitting at the edge of the path. Eyes closed, nose to the moon, he soaked in the power, the energy. He was a marble of browns and if it weren't for his size, he could pass as a dog with no real defined markings. She wished it was day so she could spend some time studying the shades that made up his thick coat.

His ear twitched as he sat there. Carter knew she was watching. He was letting her ogle.

Emilie came forward. At one point in her life, she may have felt self-conscious being so much larger than him. But she wasn't that girl anymore. In fact, she found their reverse size entertaining.

Carter tilted his head and looked at her. His eyes were just as expressive now as they were when he was a man.

He barked at her and turned back on the path.

Emilie blinked. Did he really bark at her? Ugh.

When she didn't follow, Carter came back and barked again. This time he tilted his head in question.

See, she didn't do well with commands. And this was very much a follow and obey command. When it looked like he might fall over from tilting his head so much she let out a small roar and pushed past him to the trail. He followed and then ran around to her side. They both didn't fit on the path but enjoyed pushing the other out of the way as they went.

Obviously, she won.

Her last shoulder nudge had knocked him completely off his feet. When he emerged from the path into their backyard, it was as a man. Carter was laughing like she hadn't seen him before. His whole being had lightened, even from when she first spotted him minutes before.

"Emilie's got a vicious side. I love it. I absolutely love it," he said coming up to her and slapping her shoulder. "Come on, I brought home a pizza."

Carter walked past her to his back kitchen door. Now close to the house, the lights from inside illuminated the yard and Carter. Emilie enjoyed the view. There wasn't a woman alive who wouldn't. His back was sculpted. More than a few scars textured the otherwise smooth ridges and valleys. Most shifters had some claw and teeth marks on them, Carter had more than she was used to seeing.

"You coming, Em?" he asked at the door.

She tried to tell him that she'd be along in a minute but, and she wasn't proud of this, she forgot she was a bear so it just came out in a series of yowls.

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. "You're..." His head tilted slightly to the left as he considered her. She knew the moment Carter caught on, his lips pressed together, suppressing a smile. "You're embarrassed to shift in front of me, aren't you?"

She moaned.

"You are! Oh, that's adorable." He leaned his shoulder against the door frame. Getting comfortable while Emilie wanted to crawl into a cave and die. "Is that a bear thing? Wolves have no modesty."

Obviously, since she had a full frontal view of him.

Eyes up, Williams!

Emilie had two choices. Shift or wait him out.

If his smirk told her anything, Carter had come to the same conclusion and was prepared for either scenario.

She huffed. Straightened her back. And shifted with as much dignity as she could muster. When she was done, Emilie marched right to her back door. She did not look at him, couldn't look at him. Even in the dark, he probably saw the flush to her cheeks.

She could feel his eyes on her, watching her body move in the moonlight. "Come over when you're clothed," he said, a chuckle in his voice as her screen door closed.

When Carter had gotten home, he was tired. The last few days he'd been going right from work to helping with Lee. Carter pulled security duty for a few hours each night. He'd come home and sleep for three to four hours and then do it all again.

Tonight he had been prepared to do just that when he saw a pile of clothing on Emilie's side of the porch. It made him pause. Either his cute neighbor was running around as a bear or she was naked. Either possibility delighted him.

Maybe a run was just what he needed.

Carter stripped, letting his clothes fall beside Emilie's and went to find himself a bear.

She had surprised him, the playfulness in her. Yes, it was something he knew was there, he'd seen flashes of it in her eyes but the fact that she was showing that side of herself to him was a good sign. He never had a chance to ask her how the thing at the library went. Tonight would be a good night for that. After the last few days he had, Carter deserved a night off.

So after their fun and getting to enjoy the hell out of her modesty, Carter went in to find some sweatpants and call Owen. They'd have to find someone else to monitor Lee tonight.

Emilie was standing at his back door when he got off the phone. She looked unsure if she should knock or just go in. In her hands she had his clothes, folded. He had to laugh. Who folded dirty laundry?

"Come on in," he said catching her off guard. Emilie startled but smiled when she saw him through the screen door.

"You look happy," he said, getting his first good look at her. Her leg was better, she no longer favored her right one. And the smile she wore was effortless. Not something he had experienced yet.

"I am happy, thanks to you." Emilie put his clothes on the table. He handed her a paper plate and directed her to the pizza on the stove.

Carter could use a little happy sent his way. "Oh, what did I do?" Her smile warmed the chill in his heart that the pack drama had created.

"You know," she said, like he should have some inclination about any of this. "The library. Getting me a job." Her head tilted to the side as she regarded him. "You didn't hear? I figured a small town cop like yourself would have heard about the new girl getting the coveted position at the library to replace Cynthia."

He laughed. He hadn't heard but was thrilled for her. "Really? Congratulations!" Carter didn't think. He scooped her into a hug and lifted her off the ground. "That's great news."

"Thank you," she said. He put her down but let his hands linger on her hips. If he wasn't mistaken, she was doing the same to his arms.

"How about we switch this up. I'm going to open some wine. A new job deserves wine. And you grab the pizza. Let's reconvene in the living room."

She nodded once. "Sir, yes Sir." With a little two finger salute and a smirk full of sass, Emilie grabbed the pizza and disappeared into the living room.

Carter blindly grabbed a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, two glasses and followed behind like the lovesick dog he was. Something had changed between them. He wasn't sure what since he hadn't been around but that distance she held him at had closed some. Emilie joked with him and he found underneath that ridged exterior, she was pretty funny. There was trust between them now. She was becoming comfortable around him, which allowed her to be herself.

What she was showing of herself, he really liked.

She sat on his couch, her legs tucked under her looking like she belonged there. The way she held her wine and the smile she had when she laughed full and open, made him stop and take notice. Emilie finished off her second glass and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. It was the same color, he noticed, as her bear.

It was probably stupid of him to say anything. They were having such a good time and all. But as they talked and ate, he began to wonder about the life she left behind. Was anyone missing this treasure?

"What happened, Emilie?" Carter asked. "What brought you here." To me.

She quirked her lips to the side and looked at her glass. It was empty but for a single sip pooling at the bottom. She tilted the glass around and when she finally spoke, she didn't look at him.

"I was engaged," Emilie began. Carter frowned. Not exactly what he had hoped to hear. "He was a human and didn't know about me. I don't tell anyone about my bear. Safer that way. He had left to go hunting with his father but must have forgotten something. I should have known he would be back; he is always forgetting something. But I was anxious for a day of peace and a shift." Emilie looked over at him, her lips pressed into a thin line. "He saw me shift. Just the end of it. I guess he thought my bear ate me or something. I don't know, but as I was walking away, already planning on how I would explain why I was not in bed and sick like I had told him I was, he shot me."

Her face had held some humor as she talked but fell at the end. Emilie put her glass on the coffee table and sat back in the seat. "It's weird, though. I should be heartbroken. My fiancé shot me and basically ran me out of town without knowing it. But I’m ok and I feel a bit guilty about that. My funeral was yesterday," she said with a little laugh. "An empty casket because they never found a body. Can you believe that?"

"Wow. That's kind of heavy."

She nodded. "Dean is enjoying playing the stoic brother. Apparently, he had girls offering themselves up for comfort left and right. He's loving every minute of it."

He noticed that she had said that she should feel heartbroken, not that she was or had been. "So you don't miss him?"

She shook her head but caught herself. Guilt flashed in her eyes. "It's not that I don't miss him, he was a good guy. I just don't feel much at all about any of it. I'm not going back to that life so why dwell on it?"

Well, that was one way to look at it. "Did you love him?" Carter asked. She looked at him, her eyes wide and unsure but then faltered and looked down at her hands.

"When we met I had all but given up on men. I had been called frigid too many times to count." She sighed. The crease between her eyes and the way her hands fisted told him that comment meant more than she was leading on. "It's not easy for me to open up, especially to new people. The one time I tried to have a one night stand it ended horribly. This was right before I met Bobby. I got drunk but my mind just wouldn't turn off." She glanced up at him, an apologetic smile tugging at her lips. "It never turns off. Sometimes it makes it hard to just live in the moment. So the guy kicked me out when he kept trying to move on me but I would unintentionally block and ask a question."

Carter grinned. "What did you ask? Do I want to know?"

She groaned and dropped her head into the back of the couch. "Previous sexual encounters? Was he clean? Was this something he did often?" Her words were muffled by the couch. She looked mortified when she lifted her head again. "He didn't take well to my questions."

"Obviously."

Emilie shoved his shoulder. "So I met Bobby and he was so nice, took things slow. Before I knew it we were basically living together. When he asked me to marry him I figured he was nice enough. I knew I would be satisfied with a simple life with Bobby."

"Nice is not a basis for a relationship."

She nodded. "I know. To be honest, and I'm only being honest because of the wine, I was over Bobby long ago. I stayed because it was comfortable. But we didn't have sex much anymore and the relationship had never been exciting or adventurous in any way. Not that it was boring, I was content with him, but it wasn't passionate either." Her eyes unfocused as she talked. Emilie stared at the glass on the coffee table and sighed. "I want passion."

Carter didn't think that last part was for him to hear.

When she looked up again, it was with sadness. She felt the loss of this relationship but she didn't seem to want it either. Carter took that as a green light to proceed forward. He didn't think her frigid. No, if he had to guess, Emilie was probably one of the hottest, most passionate women in bed. He hoped to find out first hand in time.

"Would you go back if you could?" he asked bringing her back to awareness.

She turned toward him, her eyes roaming his face. There was a slight hesitation and then she shook her head. "No. I think I'm where I'm supposed to be."

Well, that was it. Problem solved. Case closed. Pack up and go the fuck home. He was keeping her.

Carter reached over, his fingers dusting over her jaw. When she didn't retreat from his touch, and in fact leaned into it, he came forward and kissed her.

Just one small kiss.

But an invitation for more.

Emilie gave him the most satisfying smiles. He was tempted to kiss her again but he opened the door. She'd need to be the one to step through.

"What does this mean?" she asked. Her fingertips lifting to touch the place on her lips where his had just been.  

He grabbed her hand, taking it away from her lips and brought them to his own. Carter kissed her fingertips and then the back of her hand. Had he not heard her story, her question might have sounded odd. But she had told him, warned him really. Her mind did not turn off.

"It means that I like you but that it is late and I am exhausted."

Her expression faltered as if just remembering something. "The pack. I'm sorry, I meant to ask you about it. Earlier I had been waiting for you on the porch when I felt the need to roam."

Waiting for him? Hmmm, he liked the sound of that.

"It's Lee," he said. "She is straddling the line of being feral. It's been days since she last spoke, at this point, she can't because she's so far into it. No one knows how to pull her out of it. I've been playing security and making sure she is safe while we wait."

Emilie scrunched her nose as he talked. He could almost see the questions form in her mind.

“Ok, so you have to explain this feral business. Just because I lived near wolves before doesn’t mean I know much about them.”

He rubbed his chin. How to explain? “Typically a man is on fairly even footing with his wolf. Let’s call it a 60/40 share. We have the upper hand but sometimes the wolf fights back.” He grinned. “They like to test us.”

“So going feral means that the scale has shifted and the wolf has the upper hand?”

“Almost. There comes a point when the wolf can take over for good. When that happens the human begins to die. That’s where Lee is at now. She is so far in it she can’t get out. We don’t even know if she wants to get out.”

Emilie seemed fascinated by all this. “So does it work both ways?”

He wasn’t following. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she began, shifting in her seat. “If the human can die can the wolf?”

“I have no idea. I’ve never heard of anyone blocking their wolf out like that.”

Emilie picked up a strand of her hair and began to play with the ends as she talked. "I can’t imagine how tough this has been on all of you. You share an emotional connection, right?"

He nodded. "We do, it’s minor for the most part, unless the Alpha is involved, which he is. Do you feel anything like that to other bears?"

"A bond?" She shook her head. "No. We are mostly independent. Siblings stay close. I guess you might say Dean and I have a bond but bears keep to themselves."

"I've noticed," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for the wine and pizza." Emilie stood up. He hated to have her leave but Carter was dead on his feet. He managed to get up and walk her to the back door. She looked like she wanted to do something, or for him to do something. Like, say, kiss. But if she wanted more, she'd have to take it. And his lips were hers for the taking. Hell, he was hers if she wanted him.

"Goodnight Emilie," he said leaning against the door.

She looked to be having quite the debate in her head. When her mouth finally opened, she awkwardly shouted "Night," and ran inside.

Carter chuckled. He was going to have fun with her.