This is impossible. This is literally not possible. And yet there he is, approaching all of us stretching on the mats like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open. There are whispers running across the gym. People were expecting Coach Ridley to be the one walking out of that door. Not Carter. I hear more than one comment about how gorgeous he is, and I don’t disagree. My mind flashes again to the party and that heated darkness where our hips moved together, that amazing feeling of being seen and wanted and alive. I blush and duck my head, terrified of that moment when he sees me and understands what’s happening now.

Carter and Marian come to stand at the edge of mats, and everyone quiets down.

“Hey everyone, my name is Coach Carter Hale. I know most of you were expecting someone else—someone significantly older than me.” There are scattered laughs across the mats. “Coach Ridley has a family situation that took him out of state indefinitely. So, for the time being, I’m your coach.”

I laugh under my breath, shaking my head. Of course, the one person I have a crush on, the one person I actually wanted to sleep with, is the coach. The definition of off limits.

“I was on the cheer squad when I attended CGS,” Carter says, “and I graduated three years ago. The plan was for me to be an assistant coach this year. I know this is a sudden change, and I know that some of you were trying out so that you could work with Coach Ridley. So if some of you don’t want to try out anymore, I understand, and you can leave now. Just make sure to give Marian your number so we know who isn’t here.”

To my surprise, several people do get up, handing in their numbers to Marian who looks on with a smug smile. Once those people are gone from the gym, Carter smiles. “Thanks for staying. I promise, for those of you who make the team, I’ll do my best to fill Coach Ridley’s shoes. It won’t be easy, but it is something that I take seriously. Marian is going to divide you into groups and then we’ll get started.”

He’s looking around the room, making eye contact with as many people as he can, and I know it’s coming. His eyes land on me, and I see him go still with shock. His smile fades for a moment, and I give him a tight-lipped smile and a little wave. I swear the awkward in the air is so heavy that I can feel it on my skin. But then Carter’s face breaks out into an even bigger smile than before. It’s gorgeous and devastating and it takes my breath away. He’s smiling so wide that his eyes are crinkling at the corners, and my stomach does a little flip-flop. He’s happy to see me here, there’s nothing in his face that makes me feel otherwise. Oh. I am in so much trouble.

Everyone is standing now, and Marian is walking through the group, reading off their numbers and telling them which group they belong in. People split off into the corners, chatting with their groups. Kara is sent to group four. When Marian gets to me, her eyes flick down to the number I’ve pinned to my skirt and back up to my face. Her face turns cold. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Hi.” I try to be upbeat, friendly.

“Don’t try to play nice. I know what you’re doing.”

I shake my head. “Then you’re the only one. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I worked hard to get to the top of this squad,” she says, her voice quiet and furious. “You can try to make me look bad all you want, but it’s not going to get you anywhere. You’ll be off this team before I let that happen.”

“Is this because of the drink? I told you it was an accident. I was pushed.”

Marian scoffs. “Right. And you’re his girlfriend, too.” She rolls her eyes. “I know bullshit when I hear it, freshman. You’re in group two. Don’t cross me, because he’s not going to be able to protect you again.” She walks away, and I feel like I’ve been punched. How is it she’s so twisted up over a spilled drink? It was an accident. But it doesn’t look like there’s anything I’ll be able to do to make her believe that. I hope that this doesn’t affect my chances of being on the team. She’s the captain, she’s going to be judging us right along with Carter.

Kara shoots me a questioning look as I cross the gym to group two, and I send her a thumbs up to let her know I’m fine. She doesn’t need to worry about Marian being a bitch right now. There will be plenty of time for me to tell her all about it once we’re back in the privacy of our dorm room.

For the next hour, the current members of the squad coach us. We learn two routines and a dance, each one highlighting a specific skill. We’ll perform them as a group, and after that, if we make the cut, solo. That’s when I’ll get to show off my tumbling skills. But right now I’m over the moon that I was able to go to that cheer camp and that I spent as much time as I did rehearsing the routines. I already know the ones they’re teaching. It’s a good thing, too, because I keep being distracted.

Carter is watching me. I can feel his eyes on me, and every time I dare to glance over there, his gaze locks with mine. And it’s not just a friendly gaze. Carter’s eyes are filled with heat, and unfortunately, I know exactly what kind of heat. The kind of heat that made us tangle on a tiny bed together, skin against skin. When I see him looking at me, his eyes almost look…hungry. For me. It makes me feel short of breath, and focusing on the instructions given to us nearly impossible.

It doesn’t matter where I am, as our groups move across the gym to different stations to review the routines, Carter’s eyes find me. I should probably find it uncomfortable, but I don’t. Having him here, watching me, is the best I’ve felt since that party. I don’t have to wonder where he is and what he thinks of me, because he’s here, and I can tell exactly what he’s thinking.

Once the hour is up, we start the long task of actually performing the routines and dance for Carter, Marian, and the rest of the team. Carter and Marian are at a table set up in front of the bleachers, so I know they’re the ones that are going to determine who gets in and who doesn’t.

I’m usually really good at performing. I put so much of myself into it that I get lost, and nothing exists outside of the next move, the next jump, the next kick. Not this time. This time, when it’s my group’s turn, I’m aware of myself and that Carter is watching me. I can feel it like there’s a line connecting him and me. I know he’s seeing every flip of my hair and swing of my hips, and the performance feels different. This isn’t meant for energizing a crowd—it’s just for him.

The routine ends, and I look at Carter to see him beaming. He raises an eyebrow at me, and I give him a little shrug. It’s like he’s right here, talking to me.

“You normally do cheer routines like that?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Guess you’ll have to keep watching to find out.”

I see Carter chuckle, and Marian follows his gaze. When she sees that he’s looking at me, she glares. That old phrase, ‘if looks could kill,’ comes to mind. If I make the team, I’m definitely going to have to watch my back.

We take a break, all of us on the floor getting water and resting while they look through their notes, deciding who to cut first. There are nine members on the squad currently, including Marian, and I have no idea how big a team Carter wants. It could be anywhere from fifteen to thirty, but there’s at least forty of us trying out. Probably more.

I take this chance while he’s not watching to study him. It’s different looking at him here than in the close atmosphere of the party. I don’t know what to think except for the fact that he’s still gorgeous, and my body still wants to run across the room and tackle him. Damn it, I should have taken my chance with him at the party. Before I knew he was the coach. I shake my head at my stupidity.

“Hey,” Kara flops down next to me against the wall. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I say. I don’t want to tell her about Carter. Not yet. So I give her a subject I know she’ll latch on to. “I’m worried that Marian is going to stop me from making the team.”

She frowns. “Why?”

“I got knocked over at that party a couple of weeks ago, into Marian. My drink spilled on her, and she thinks it was on purpose. She has something up her ass about me trying to ‘take her down’ or something.” I roll my eyes to punctuate just how ridiculous I think it all sounds.

Kara, always the perfect best friend, immediately turns and glares daggers at the coaching table. “That bitch.”

I hold back my laughter. “Well, we don’t have to worry about it yet. If she tries to sabotage my chances, then we can do something about it.”

“Sounds good,” Kara says, but I can already see the plans spinning in her head. I’m not sure I want to know. Kara may be a stickler about our pact and look like the world’s most wholesome person, but she creates pranks that put everyone to shame.

“Remember that if Marian suddenly finds her entire dorm room filled with water balloons she is definitely going to blame me, and that’s not going to make things better.”

“Damn,” Kara grins, “that’s a really good idea. But I see your point. I’ll save that one for someone else.”

I roll my eyes again, folding myself over onto the mat and stretching my quads. It’s only a few minutes before Carter stands and walks over to where we’re waiting. He gives us that charming smile, and I think that even the people about to be cut are going to have a hard time being mad at him when he’s looking at them like that. “That was really great, thank you. I know this is always the hardest part. I wish we could take everyone, but unfortunately, we can’t. So the following people will be kept for individual evaluation. If you’re called, you can move over there.”

He lists off numbers, and one by one, people move across the gym. My number—twenty-six—comes in what I think must be the middle of the list. I glance towards Marian when my name is called, and she doesn’t look happy. Well, tough shit. Carter gives me a private smile as I walk by, and I try to return it. The little knot of tension in my chest from worrying that Marian might sabotage me has loosened, but it isn’t gone. There’s still time for me to not make the team.

Kara is called shortly after me, and she bounds across the gym with the enthusiasm of a hundred puppies. I stifle a giggle, but I’m proud of how excited she is. If she keeps that up, she’s going to make the team for sure.

About half the people are cut. Carter says a few encouraging words to them as they gather their things and leave, but I see more than a few unhappy faces in the crowd. Once they’re gone, the gym feels empty.

“All right,” Carter calls. “Routines, one by one. Let’s see what you’ve got.”