Then - Twenty days before Halloween

 

“Get in the closet, Avy.” My dad pushes me toward the dark cupboard. There is loud knocking coming from our front door, sounds of screams and laughter fill the air.

It’s dark.

It’s scary.

It’s haunting.

“Daddy, please come with me. Don’t open the door.” I sob. I can feel familiar hands around me, haunting me, suffocating me like they do every year when Halloween gets closer.

My dad cradles my face in his palms. “Stay hidden, baby girl. Whatever you see, whatever you hear, stay inside and be silent.” He closes the cupboard door, but I can see through a crack in it.

“Daddy,” I whisper, but quickly cover my mouth when our door crashes open.

“Welcome to the Doors of Avalon. Come, sit down so I can tell you your future,” my dad greets them with his usual speech, but something is wrong. I can feel it. I can see it.

He used to need my help with his clients after mom died, and I used to share the things I saw, but now my dad has forbidden me to say them aloud. He says I’m too old now, and the things I saw would start to take up too much space in my head. Just like they did with mom.

I hear screams in my mind. My body starts to shake. I want to give in to the violent voices inside my head, but I fight them like my daddy told me to.

Two men in black cloaks and white masks come into view. The masks are frozen with their mouths gaping open in a silent scream and, even though I can’t see their eyes behind it, I can feel the darkness seep into me. The hands around my neck become rougher, squeezing my airpipe harder. I fight back the tears. A force is trying to get me out of the closet, but I hold my ground.

I shake my head, trying to ignore the itching in my hands, the hunger inside me.

“Time to pay your debt, Arthur,” One of the men says to my dad.

“I don't have enough money. If you give me just a few more days…”

The other man laughs. “You’re being stupid, Arthur.”

The next thing I feel is the warmth of blood on my face as my dad falls in front of the cupboard and the laughter that surrounds me as the words reach to my ears:

“There will be no more time, Arthur.”

And that's when my dad tells me to kill for the first time. He hasn't left me:

Kill. Kill. Kill.

 

Now - Twenty days before Halloween

 

It’s 3.15 AM when I hear my door open.

I jolt up in my bed. My heart is beating fast. A guy in black clothes is coming closer to me. He is wearing the same mask that haunts me in my dreams. I sit up, holding my head between my hands out of fear and confusion as the guy stumbles and murmurs to himself. One second I can see his face clearly, but the next his face is hidden behind that terrible mask.

“Leave me alone,” I whisper into the darkness, but even I can’t hear my own voice.

The stench of alcohol reaches my nose and I gag. I rock back and forth on my bed, trying to clear the fog from my mind to understand what is real and what’s not.

Then I hear him. His voice is hoarse and slurries behind the white plastic. “Here you are.”

Kill, Avy. Kill him.

Blood. Make him bleed.

My dad’s voice is cold and commanding. I start to shake again. The familiar cold hands wrap around my throat just like I remember.

He keeps coming closer.

I get out of my bed, taking quick steps backward.

Kill him, Avy.

I shake my head.

The darkness is swallowing me. I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s so strong this time. I feel the same hunger I felt in that closet years ago. It’s more like a craving, a need. It’s haunting me and I’m tired of fighting back.

I hear my own growl, the hands around my throat loosen and I can feel a triumph in my bones. I laugh when my hands become slick with the warmth of blood, I lick the sweet taste of it.

I miss it.

I hear him groan and scream, but my laughter is louder. When his struggling finally stops I find the lighter in my nightstand.

I’m a new woman as I leave the room behind, on fire.

I did it, Daddy.