“Has Reid seen what you’re wearing?” I ask Summer, raising a sceptical eyebrow.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” she says, looking down at her tight white dress.
I make a choking sound. “I can see… everything.”
She rolls her eyes. “Since when do you care about seeing too much of a woman?”
“It’s you. It’s a little different. You’re not just any woman. You’re my future sister-in–law,” I complain.
Summer laughs at my sullen expression.
“And Taiya is going out with you. You both don’t need the added attention,” I tell her, scowling. Maybe I should go with them?
“You’re not coming with us. Taiya will be pissed,” she says, reading my mind. “Besides, Reid will be there, so stop worrying. And yes, Reid saw this dress. Why do you think it took me so long to get ready?”
I choose to ignore her comment, leaning back into the couch. Summer leaves the room, I assume to primp herself and I glance at the door once more, wondering when she’s going to arrive. I haven’t seen Taiya since the other day, when I walked out of her room and left her alone and naked. I went home and had three cold showers that night. Yes, three. I know Taiya; she would have let me make love to her, and then she would have pushed me away. I don’t think I could have taken it if she said it was a mistake. When I do make love to her, she will be ready to accept that we were made for each other. My brother walks into the room, wearing jeans and a black shirt. My eyes narrow when I realise it’s my black shirt. His hair is still damp from his shower. He looks at my expression and grins.
“A little jealous, are we?” he teases, running his hands through his hair.
“I could come, you know.”
“And ruin Taiyas’s girls’ night?”
I exhale loudly. “Never mind, I have a million things to do tonight anyway,” I lie. I have nothing to do. At all. I already cleaned the apartment this morning, so I can’t even do that. I suppose I could watch some TV, or something. Animal Planet might have a documentary on. For once, that doesn’t even sound appealing.
“Like what? Sit at home, watching Animal Planet and wishing you were out with Taiya instead?” he says with a smirk.
Sometimes it sucks that my brother knows me so well. Reid looks at me, and I don’t know what he sees, but his expression softens.
“It’s just a night out. I won’t let her out of my sight,” he says. He’s thinking I’m worried about her with other men. And while the thought kills me, it has been a year and she obviously would have been with someone else in that time. The thing that I’m so out of sorts about is that she will be there with my favourite people. Reid and Summer. Shouldn’t I be there too? My brother, my best friend and my wife are going out and I’m stuck at home. I feel like I’m a kid being put in the naughty corner.
“I know,” I say, forcing a smile. Reid shakes his head at me, leaving the room. The doorbell rings a few seconds later, and I instantly stand.
“I’ll get it, Ryan. Don’t you move,” Summer says as she enters the room, walking like a professional in her high heels. I hear the door open, and the sound of Taiya’s voice. A few seconds wait, and then the object of my obsession steps into the living room. Caramel curls frame her face, bouncing with each step. She’s wearing makeup on her face, but not too much, thank fuck. A short black dress that shows off her thighs, and sparkly silver high heels. Images flash in my head about the things I want to do to her wearing nothing but those heels. Her emerald eyes widen when they see me, and then narrow.
“Ryan,” she says curtly, nodding her head.
“Hey Tay,” I say, taking in the beauty that is my wife. She gives me a weird look, one I can’t decipher. I used to be able to tell exactly what she was thinking. I wish I could just walk up to her and touch her. Hold her. Kiss those perfect lips. Isis steps in behind her, giving me a smirk and a small wave.
“Hey Isis.”
“Have a seat, girls. I’ll just be a sec,” Summer says, walking back into the bathroom.
“Do you girls want a drink?” I ask politely.
“Yes, please,” Taiya says, sitting down on the couch. “Whatever you have is fine.” Before I can go into the kitchen to get them something, Reid walks in holding a bottle of vodka, ice and orange juice.
“Hey Reid,” Taiya greets. “This is my friend Isis. Isis this is Reid.” Isis says hello, and I can see her plainly checking my brother out. Yeah, good luck with that one. Summer returns with a tiny little bag in her hand, takes a seat and starts talking with Taiya and Isis. I can tell she’s a little nervous. She’s not exactly a people’s person. I grin when she finishes her drink in a few gulps. Isis, on the other hand, chats away animatedly, like she’s known Summer her whole life. Taiya is a little more reserved, but still friendly. I see her looking over at me out of the corner of her eye. I don’t remove my gaze from her. When she walks into the kitchen to put her glass away, I take my chance.
“You look beautiful,” I tell her, leaning against the kitchen table. I can smell her from here, so fucking sweet.
“Thanks,” she says, not looking at me.
“You mad about the other day?” I ask, frowning. Didn’t she understand why I didn’t finish what we started?
“Yeah, I just love getting left naked and willing,” she mutters, finally turning around to look at me.
“Hey, I got you off,” I say, wincing when I realise how asshole-ish that sounds.
Her eyes narrow to slits, which seems to be her most common look when she’s around me. “You know what, you made the right decision. No good is going to come from us fucking each other.”
Ouch. “I didn’t want you to regret it after, Tay. It would kill me,” I say softly, letting my guard down for a minute. For her to see how much it actually killed me to walk away. “We need to talk before anything like that happens.”
“So what, you have rules now? Going down on me is okay then?” she says, putting her hands on her hips. Her lips are a plump pink, and I can’t keep my eyes off of them.
“Are you complaining about me going down on you?” I ask, rubbing my jaw with my fingers. Will I ever figure women out? I’m assuming the answer to that is a resounding no.
She huffs and tries to walk around me, but I gently take her by the wrist. “Tay,” I whisper. She stills and looks at me. I mean finally looks at me, and sees me.
“Ryan,” she whimpers, letting her guard down. I pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her.
“You go out and have a good time tonight, okay? Will you talk to me tomorrow? I mean actually talk to me, Tay?” I’m practically begging, but I don’t care. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get her back.
“Okay,” she says, and that one word gives me hope. So much fucking hope, I feel like jumping for joy.
“Okay,” I repeat, kissing her gently on her lips. Just as she pulls away, Summer walks in, smiling widely as she takes us in. I can almost feel the happiness pouring off her in waves.
“Ready to go?” she asks Taiya, who nods. Taiya turns around and offers me a sweet smile before walking out of the kitchen. Summer gives me a thumbs up.
Such a dork.
*****
A timid knock at the door makes me cease my workout. I do another five push-ups and then walk briskly to the door, opening it widely without even bothering to look through the peephole.
“Long night?” I ask a tired looking Taiya. Her hair is piled on her head, unlike before she left, and her eye makeup a little smeared. She still looks fucking beautiful. I see her eyes roam over my bare chest hungrily, and I wait quietly as she takes her fill.
“You could say that. We got in a few hours ago and I fell asleep on Summer’s couch,” she says as she finally looks up, wrinkling her nose.
“Why didn’t you go home?” I ask, considering she lives in the same building.
“Summer insisted I come over and give her a few dance lessons,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s a long story.”
I’ll bet it is. I realise we are standing there talking at the door, so I quickly invite her in. She walks in barefoot, carrying those sexy shoes in her hands.
“Want some water or juice?” I ask her as she walks into the kitchen.
“Not juice,” she says, her face paling.
I grin. “Too many screwdrivers last night, huh?”
“I never want to drink orange juice again,” she says, her tone deadly serious.
I laugh. “You never want to drink orange juice again? How about never drinking vodka again?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Let’s not say anything we can’t take back, Ryan,” she says, putting her hands up in a ‘calm down’ motion. I get her a bottle of cold water out of the fridge, open it and hand it to her.
“Still fucking crazy I see,” I murmur as she gulps the water down. I stare at her delicate neck and throat as she swallows. To me, Taiya is as she’s always been. A perfect mixture of sweet and feisty, and so full of life.
She puts the bottle down and raises an eyebrow. “You getting old, Ry?”
“Is that a challenge?” I ask her. “Honestly, I don’t drink much. Working in a bar has put me off.”
“Me either,” she admits. “Dancing and drinking don’t mix.”
“Really?” I scoff.
She laughs, and the sound is music to my ears. “I mean teaching dance classes, being a dancer and wanting to be my best physically, and drinking don’t mix,” she clarifies.
I give her an obvious once over. “You sure are at your peak.”
She makes a tsk tsk noise, before her expression clears. “I believe you wanted to talk.”
“I did. I mean, I do,” I say, the air in the room changing. Gone is the light conversation, and something deeper and darker takes over. I clear my throat. “I think we need to start at the beginning.”
She tilts her head. “What is there to say? We were high school sweethearts, got married earlier than we should have. You never got to sow your wild oats, so you did it behind my back when we were married,” she says, shrugging like it’s no big deal, but I don’t miss the flash of pain before she’s able to mask it.
“I never cheated on you, Taiya,” I tell her, being completely honest.
“Right,” she scoffs. “You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. What, a nice little wifey at home, and some bitch on the side?” she yells, her cheeks flushing in anger. She stands up. “Do you know what? Fuck, this was a mistake.”
“This is déjà vu, isn’t it? You turning your back on me, walking away without giving me even one minute to explain,” I snap, losing my composure, desperate for her to hear me out.
“Well, as soon as I left, you just proved my theory, didn’t you? Having sex with anyone, proving to me that that’s what you really wanted! The few friends I had in school loved to tell me on social networks exactly what you were getting up to. After a while, I shut everything down and cut them all out of my life because I didn’t want to hear anymore!”
“Is that what you think?” I ask her, my eyes widening in shock.
She puts her hands on her hips. “What else am I supposed to think? Your actions speak louder than words, Ryan.” This is the conversation we should have had a long time ago. These are old wounds resurfacing and still causing lasting damage. Still inflicting pain.
“I made a mistake by pushing you away, but I never slept with anyone until you left me,” I say softly, but with conviction. I rub the bridge of my nose when I look at her face, knowing that she still doesn’t believe me. “Have I ever lied to you before?”
“Not that I know of,” she says, biting her plump bottom lip.
“It’s because I didn’t lie, Tay. I still messed up,” I admit, swallowing hard. “She kissed me; that’s it. I swear.”
“I know she did, Ryan, because I saw it,” she says, her beautiful green eyes pooling with tears.
“What?” I ask, dreading the answer.
She stands. “I have to go,” she whispers, not looking directly at me.
“Tay, don’t go, please,” I beg, coming closer to her.
She puts her hands up to stop me. “I feel like I’m right back there, watching the love of my life kissing her. Why did it have to be her?” she says, in a low tone that scares me. She glances up at me, her eyes lacking their usual sparkle. “Now I remember why I left. You’re a fucking asshole, and you broke my heart.”
“It was just a kiss,” I tell her, reaching out and pulling her into me. She stills, but doesn’t push me away. Thank fuck she doesn’t, because I don’t think I could handle that right now. “Just one kiss, a mistake. Biggest mistake in my life because I lost you.”
“Biggest mistake because you got caught, more likely,” she says into my chest. Does she really think of me like this? Does one stupid kiss, because I was messed up that day, turn me into an untrustworthy cheater in her eyes? Will I be branded that way forever? I’m going to show her, prove to her that she’s the only woman I will ever want.
“Forgive me,” I whisper into her ear, running my hands down her arms.
“I really think we should finalise the divorce and move on with our lives, Ryan,” she says, unable to look me in the eye as she speaks.
“And I think we should fight for each other, because we both deserve that. We owe it to each other Tay, to try and fix this,” I say, silently pleading that she wants to try and work on us. I can fight for the both of us, but I want her to want this too.
“I don’t know, Ryan,” she says, sighing dejectedly. She smells like apples, with a hint of alcohol and smoke. “Have you been smoking?” I ask, surprised. Taiya used to hate smoking with a passion.
“I may have picked up a habit or two,” she admits, nuzzling my chest. “Can we talk about the rest of this later? I just want to go home, have a shower and sleep.”
“Okay, come on. I’ll walk you home.”