Chapter Twenty-Four
Madison
“It’s weird that he told me to take the day off, right?”
“What’s weird is you not enjoying a paid Freebie Friday,” Harper says. We’re walking down a tree-lined street not far from the office to check out an apartment I saw for rent. Harper makes her own work schedule, so she was on board with accompanying me today.
“I mean I know he said his schedule changed and he’d be in an all-day meeting, but I can’t shake the feeling he didn’t want to see me.”
Harper stops, her sunglasses meet mine. “Maddy, he didn’t. And that’s not a bad thing. After everything you told me, he needs time to process things and so do you.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I usually am.” She links her arm with mine. “Now come on, let’s find you a kick-ass place to live.”
The second-floor apartment smells like someone puked in it. Harper actually tells the building manager that. The woman apologizes and says she can have it taken care of, but I’m not convinced. Plus, we’ve got more apartments to look at.
I’m excited to live on my own for the first time in my life and I have this idea in my head of what I want it to look like: Light, airy, and simple, so I can add my own touches. Besides my bed—which I’m bringing from home, much to my mom’s chagrin because she’s afraid I’ll never come visit for the night, even though there are three other available beds in the house—I plan to buy a secondhand couch and dining chairs and reupholster them in this really pretty Prussian blue fabric. The chairs will go perfect with the small Pottery Barn dining table I’ve got my eye on as my one splurge. I’d also like to have a bathtub, but it’s not a requirement. A small space to sew in is, though. And lastly, I envision fresh flowers sitting in a vase on the kitchen counter all the time.
Apartment number two is a bust, too. But the third one is really close to what I’m looking for. It’s a newer building and there is more than one apartment available. I decide to think on it because it requires a one-year lease. It’s not like I have to move out of my parents’ house immediately, which is a nice luxury to have in this situation.
Finished apartment hunting for the day, we walk over to the nearby farmers market—another plus if I end up choosing this rental. There are three rows of sellers, each booth shaded by a giant blue or red umbrella or pop-up tent. The sun is high up in the sky. A light spring breeze carries the scent of fresh fruits and vegetables.
“Whoever decided to put sugar on popcorn is a genius,” I say. “Kettle corn is the best.” I pass the large clear bag to Harper.
She digs her hand in for a scoop. “Agreed, but I hate that it gets in your teeth.”
“The one downside. Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Do you think I’m being naive about work?” We turn down the last aisle that I quickly dub Tomato Street.
“What do you mean?” Harp hands me back the kettle corn.
“Elliot pretty much called me out on being an amateur and not understanding how the business world works. It’s true this is my first real job, and I’m still learning the dynamics of the company, but I do trust Auggie not to say anything.”
“As long as you’re confident about that, then I don’t see how your inexperience matters. I think Elliot is just upset he doesn’t have total control over the situation anymore.”
“I get that.”
“And he needs to get that women have a code. Auggie might not have his back, but she’s got yours, and that means she won’t say anything.”
“I wish he’d at least made time to keep our lunch date today. I hate that things are weird between us.”
“It won’t last forever. And sometimes weird leads to really great things.”
We walk around the white roadblocks sectioning off the farmers market and step onto the sidewalk to get to our car. “I knew you were sad, but I didn’t know you felt weird about the time you and Levi were apart.”
“Very weird. It sucked. But look at us now.”
They’re totally in love. Both of Elliot’s roommates are, and it hits me how much I miss being a couple.
Harper taps the alarm to unlock her car. “Ready to go back to my house?”
“Yes. Thanks for helping me look at places.”
For the rest of the afternoon we sit by the pool, read Cosmo and People and talk about which celebrity couples we love the most. Teague gets home from work and we hang out for a bit before heading to Donahue’s for dinner.
We grab a booth and order food and drinks.
“We’re doing a wedding for the cutest couple,” Teague says. “Listen to how they got engaged. She’s a marine biologist and they were at an aquarium. He takes her to stand in front of a giant tank where they do feedings. There’s a tank keeper or whatever they’re called, standing there, too, and he tells the group waiting to watch the feeding that they’re going to play a trivia game. When he looks at our bride to ask her a question, he tells her instead of him asking the question the diver inside the tank is going to. She turns and sees the diver holding a sign that says, will you marry me, and our groom is on one knee.”
“That’s so special,” I say. Henry did the usual proposal. Fancy restaurant, champagne, diamond ring sitting on top of my crème brûlée, which was his favorite dessert. I’d much rather eat something chocolaty.
“If Levi proposes to me in public, he’s in big trouble,” Harper says.
“What did you just say?” Teague asks, her back going ramrod straight.
“Don’t get your panties in a snit. He’s maybe mentioned wanting to marry me one day. And I’ve told him one day is perfect.”
“I can’t wait for your one day,” Teague says with sisterly love.
“I have a feeling yours will be here before mine.”
“I have a feeling you’re right.”
Now my and Harper’s backs straighten. “Why do you say that?” Harper inquires.
“Mateo’s just been…he’s been so amazing lately, not that he isn’t always, but he’s also been kind of secretive, which is not like him at all, so I think he’s planning something.”
“Like a proposal?” I say, making a mental note to casually question him about it.
“I hope so.” Teague stares off into the distance, all dreamy-eyed.
I follow her gaze out into the restaurant. All the tables and booths are occupied. The bar is full, too. As I pull my attention back, I’m stopped midway. Sitting at a table are Elliot, James, and what was her name? The HR girl who definitely wanted in Elliot’s pants the night he offered me a full-time position as his assistant. M-something. I blink repeatedly hoping to recall her name. Michaela.
Michaela wasn’t scheduled on Elliot’s calendar, and an uncomfortable lump takes shape in the back of my throat.
It does look like they’re having a business meeting, though, albeit a cozy one. James is talking, engaging Michaela in conversation. There’s smiling. Laughing. I need to chill. I have no claim on Elliot. He’s free to do and see whomever he wants, whether it’s work related or not.
But then James stands up and leaves, and it’s just Elliot and her and it bothers me. Even more so when she puts her hand on his arm and laughs at something he says.
“Maddy? Are you okay?” Teague asks.
I tear my gaze away from Elliot. “No.”
Harper’s eyes track to where mine just were. “What the hell? I’m going to strangle him.”
I’m not sure we need to go that far, so I quickly say, “She’s a colleague from his old firm. And our boss was sitting with them until a minute ago, so I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“But it doesn’t feel like nothing,” Teague says with compassion, noticing the reason for my unease and Harper’s anger.
“I’m surprised to see them together is all, and since I think they hooked up in the past, it doesn’t feel that great, no. Especially given the way he and I left things.” Is this his way of fixing our situation? By reconnecting with someone else? I sink down into the booth. I’m confused and want to disappear.
“Should we grab their attention?” Harper asks.
“No. I don’t want to bother them.”
“I’m sure they’re just talking work stuff.” Teague’s reassurance does nothing to ease my growing anxiety.
Michaela looks way more sophisticated than me. More experienced. She’s probably got tons more in common with Elliot than I do, work-wise and relationship-wise. I’m reminded of the strain between us in the office yesterday and how impossible it is for us to be together right now.
She smiles at him. Smiles are supposed to bring joy, but hers brings misery. I can’t sit here and watch them enjoy each other’s company. “I think I need to go.”
“Don’t let him run you off,” Harper says.
Teague takes the cocktail napkin I’m shredding into tiny pieces out of my hands. “You should go talk to him.”
I agree. I should. But rational or not, I’m hurt at simply seeing them together, and I can’t get my feet to take me over there. I feel like an outsider from way over here, so I imagine it would be way worse up close. The last time the three of us talked at this restaurant didn’t exactly go my way.
Michaela leans over, practically into his lap, and whispers something in his ear. I can’t take it anymore. “I’m sorry. I have to get out of here and grab some air.” I snatch up my purse and escape, head down, eyes on the floor. I have no choice but to walk close by their table on the way to the exit. When I stupidly strain to hear what they’re talking about and Michaela says, “my hotel” I forget how to breathe.
I rush out the restaurant’s front door. Immediately my hands are on my thighs as I try to catch my breath. Have I been made a fool a second time? I promised myself after Henry I would never let that happen again.
Someone bursts through the door. “Madison?”
It’s Elliot. I don’t move from my position. Maybe if I stay like this he’ll go back inside.
He bends over, too, hands on his thighs, putting us at eye level. “Is there a reason you’re not answering me?”
Yes, you’re a giant jerk and I hate you.
“All right. Let me take a guess. You saw me with Michaela and thought the worst.”
I lift up. “Who?”
My question sparks a knowing grin. He crosses his arms, his dress shirt stretching across all the sinewy muscles I know are underneath.
“Okay, yes. I saw the two of you together.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“Really? So having girls fawn all over you is normal?”
He studies me. “Are you jealous?”
“No.” I so am.
A couple steps out of the restaurant and almost bumps into us. Elliot puts his hand on my lower back and guides us away from the entrance—and the possibility of being seen by anyone. He positions us against the side of the building where it’s dark and leans into me, one hand pressed to the wall just above my head. “I think you are.” His warm breath fans my neck, making my skin warm.
“What brought the two of you together tonight?” I ask with a straight face.
“Exactly what you think, but I told her that wasn’t happening,” he says sincerely. “I was also hoping she could help me with our problem given she’s an HR shark.”
“You were?”
He drops his arm, creating some space between us. “Yeah, but I didn’t get a chance to ask because some gorgeous blonde distracted me when she ran out of the restaurant.”
“Oh.”
“I smelled you.”
My stomach flutters at that. He’s memorized my scent.
“And then I saw the sexiest ass and this shiny long hair”—he rubs a few strands between his fingers—“and I jumped out of my chair to find you.”
“Here I am.”
“Yes, you are.”
We quietly stare at each other until I utter, “What are we doing, Elliot?” It’s the second time I’ve asked him this, but so much has changed since the first time.
He opens his mouth, then closes it, I suspect because he notices the seriousness in my eyes and whatever cheeky thing he was about to say isn’t going to help my mood. He turns so his back is against the wall, our sides lightly touching. It worries me that he doesn’t want to talk to my face.
“James has big plans for the company. And for me. He wants me to take more of a leadership role at the office, and he wants to send me overseas for a few meetings. Have me put my French to good use in person.”
“That’s great.” It truly is. I’ve never once wished for anything but the best for Elliot work-wise.
“I’m halfway into my five-year plan and because of ZipMeds, I’ve surpassed where I thought I’d be.”
I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never had a plan other than get married and have kids. My life was practically mapped out the second Henry and I got serious. But hearing Harper and Teague talk about marriage tonight, I realized I don’t want to get married for a while. I do want to love one person with all my heart and soul. And I want to live life the same way. Being, doing, feeling, pushing myself out of my comfort zones, surprising myself and others, finding my limits and then surpassing them, that’s what I want—what I need.
My heart tells me all of that is possible with the guy standing next to me, but that he doesn’t feel the same.