So there I was, fiddling with my coffee mug and looking around the cafe every five seconds like I was afraid something might jump out of the bushes and grab me.

Maybe it would.

I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to this. I didn’t even know this guy. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was some wild hair of inspiration, I didn’t know. But when I saw that message and read his words, something bloomed within me that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Hope.

I tapped my foot and stirred my coffee again, checking the door for the umpteenth time. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Would serve me right, anyway. Or maybe he was a serial killer. Either one.

The chimes above the front door jangled and in walked a man so large he barely fit through the door frame.

That had to be him.

He was even bigger than he looked from the pictures, and his features no less intimidating. Definitely an alpha. Definitely the kind of guy I was supposed to stay away from.

Edison (was that his name?)’s eyes met mine from across the shop and a chill ran down my spine. That was him, all right. Even from across the cafe, those deep brown eyes held mine locked in his embrace. Edison approached with a lithe curiosity that reminded me of a jaguar or leopard. His face softened, the hard lines and stubble fading into something that resembled a smile.

“Hey,” he said, sticking out his hand. I shivered at the deep tremor of his voice. 

“Hey,” I said, but my voice cracked the first time. I cleared my throat, gave him an awkward ‘I’m sorry’ smile, and tried again. “Um, hey.”

“You Beck?” 

“That’s me.”

“Nice to meet you.” His hand still extended toward me and I took it, a zap of energy passing between us. What was that? Static?

I didn’t realize how much I’d missed human touch. Even the simple act of shaking hands brought back a connection I’d forgotten long ago. Didn’t realize how starved I was until I had a single bite, and now? I wanted more.

His warm, callused hand was gone before I knew it. Edison slipped into the seat next to mine. “Can I get you anything?” He asked, eyeing my mug. “Or it looks like you’ve already helped yourself.”

“I’m fine,” I brushed him away. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Ate a lot this evening.”

“So...” I started, suddenly at a loss for words.

“So,” he repeated. 

God, this was a train wreck already. Why had I ever agreed to this stupid challenge? I shrunk into my sweater and imagined melting into the floor. Had to be better than this.

“Why are you doing this?” Edison asked then, regarding me over steepled fingers. His eyes bore into mine and searched for answers. 

I shrunk away, suddenly feeling way too vulnerable. This was stupid. I should have never come here, should have went straight home, and yet...

Those eyes. Those maddening, honey-brown eyes.

“What are you talking about?” I said at last, barely above a whisper.

“The dating app. The club. This.” He gestured at the table between us. “If it were just a bet with a friend you would have called it off long ago. So why are you here?”

I swallowed and shifted in my seat. I could have run. I could have went straight home and forgot about the stupid Supr app and all that came along with it. But there it was again. 

That electric pulse of energy. That warmth, that life, that poured off of him and wrapped around me. Maybe I just needed to remember what it was like to be touched. It had been so long, I couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had hugged me. And it hurt.

God, it hurt.

So was I doing this as part of a silly little challenge with my friend? Sure, but underneath all that in my most secret heart, there was another reason too. I was lonely. Lonely as hell, and craved that connection with another. Craved the romance, the sensuality, the intimacy. Dare I believe such a thing were even possible for me?

Guys like him weren’t into guys like me. Never were. Yet here he was...

“Talk to me, Beck.” Edison pressed forward. 

“I just...” I started, my voice shaking. “Wanted to know what it was like.” The last words faded out on my tongue and I glanced up at Ed’s intense gaze, sure that he would reject me now.

Hadn’t everyone else?

“What what was like?” He continued, voice gentle, grounding. Edison scooted closer, that steadfast concentration never wavering. I’d never felt so seen before, and it was exhilarating as much as it was frightening. Most people, even my friends, didn’t—couldn’t understand what I dealt with on a day to day basis. They were on totally different wavelengths, different planes of experience. So that just left me. Alone.

“I—“ I stuttered, looked away. Stared at my shoes. I couldn’t go through with this. 

The table rumbled under my fingertips like a small earthquake. Within it I felt the same pulse of energy. The same light that wove between us. Could it really be possible that he was feeling this too?

“You’re alone, aren’t you?” Edison said then. It wasn’t so much a question as a realization.

Alone.

Never had a word spoke to me so strongly before. 

“I’m alone too.”

And those words were all I needed. I looked up at him, daring to hope for the first time in far too many years. “Wanna go be alone together?” 

Ed’s eyes flashed. “Are you sure about that? If we leave here...if we go any further...” He shook his head. “I may not be able to be a gentleman for much longer.”

I should have been afraid at that admission, but instead I felt nothing but curling tendrils of desire. Heat thudded within me. Edison stood up and took the coat off the back of his chair, wrapping it around himself in one fluid motion.

Then he held out his hand to me once more, and I could have sworn I saw the growing bulge in his jeans before he fastened the coat tight around his waist.

Holy shit. He wanted this too.

My head spun, aloft on fluffy clouds of shock and excitement. There was something else too, something in the way he spoke, the glint of his eyes, the warm, rough hands...

Something that screamed out of me for more.

I drained my coffee mug, stood, and placed my hand in his. Heat traveled from his fingers all the way up my arm and straight to my cock. “Let’s get out of here,” I mumbled.

He didn’t waste any time, either. In seconds, he was leading me to the door, one arm wrapped protectively around the small of my back. Surely he could have felt the racing heartbeat thrumming through me with every breath. It pounded in my ears so loud I could barely hear myself think. 

As we left the cafe and stepped out into the night, Edison pressed me against the wall of the shop, his muscular arms on either side of my small body. I didn’t cringe away, though I knew I was totally trapped. He watched me like a predator, his eyes taking me in. And then he closed the distance between us. He kissed me.

Never in a million years could I have expected this. This feeling of being wanted and desired flooded through me like an old memory, lighting up every cell in my body. His hands were firm and strong, holding me steady. Holding me against the wall, his cock pressing against me from the bulge in his jeans, his tongue plundering my mouth.

And funnily enough? It felt right.

What would Drake think of me now? I wondered hazily. I opened my mouth in a gasp and he took full advantage, pressing his tongue across mine and weaving tendrils of fire through my blood.

This was happening. This was really happening. But here? Now?

“Keep your pants on, alpha.” I tore my lips away and teased him breathlessly, my skin still tingling from every touch. “Let’s get inside first.”

Edison released me, albeit reluctantly, and took a step back. “Lead the way,” he breathed. “And hope for your sake it’s not far.”

I threw my head back and let out a breath. God, I was rock hard already just from his words. No one had ever talked so dirty to me before. My entire body throbbed with a heady cocktail of embarrassment and arousal...and arousal was winning. My cock pressed against the too-tight leather pants Drake had talked me into wearing. Not such a great idea now, was it?

“Did you drive?” I asked him, peering across the parking lot. Anything to keep my mind off my raging erection for a few more moments. If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose my head and offer myself up to him right here, right now. In public or no.

“No,” Edison said. “You?”

“Walked.”

“Where’s your place?”

“Couple blocks away. Come on.”

Took what felt like forever to get back to my small house. Edison’s hand burned in mine, doing nothing to quench my throbbing erection or the frantic beating of my heart.

I was doing this. I was actually doing this. 

He didn’t need to know I’d never lain with a man before. He didn’t need to see that sad, scared little boy inside. Tonight? I resolved to let it all go and experience, just this once, what it might feel like to be touched—desired—loved.

Edison was on me before I even got the door closed. He pinned me against the wall again, nearly knocking the coat rack over. The house keys tumbled from my hand and landed on the floor with a metallic jingle. Then his lips were on mine, one hand in my hair, one snaking around my back.

I arched into him, desperate for more. But it still wasn’t enough. 

“Not here,” I groaned, pushing myself off of the wall. “What is it about you and walls?” 

Edison quirked an eyebrow and gave me that “really?” look. 

“And what is it about you and always interrupting? Your scent is driving me crazy, Beck.”

Another thrill shot through me. Whatever happened tomorrow, it didn’t matter. There was a hot alpha in my house, and I was going all the way tonight. 

If he didn’t freak out and leave me first. 

“Bedroom,” I breathed, leading him down the hall. I flicked on the light and took a quick survey of the room, hoping I hadn’t left out anything incriminating. But Edison was fast. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my middle, pushing me toward the bed. I squeaked and squirmed, trying to get away, but gravity took over and I fell onto the fluffy mattress.

In no time I rolled over and he was there, tossing his shirt to the side while he regarded me with a hungry grin. God, I was glad I hadn’t missed that. My mouth actually dropped open when I saw his broad chest and rippling abs. Two wings spread across his chest in a dark, swirling tattoo that made my mouth water. I wanted to lick it. Hell, I wanted to lick all over.

Edison caught me staring and gave me that devastating smile again, his lips quirking up on one side more than the other.

“What’s the matter, see something you like?” 

He dropped his pants next without fanfare, and I just about swallowed my tongue. His legs were just as muscular as the rest of him, but that wasn’t what I noticed first. His cock pressed against the tight fabric of his briefs, leaving a very pronounced outline. He was big. And not just alpha big...

I licked my lips and scooted back on the bed, running into a lump under the covers. 

I froze as my hand closed over it. Oh shit, I knew what that was. 

My face flamed hotter and I tried to toss it away, but Edison saw my reaction and leapt forward, throwing back the blanket. 

Ten inches of a thick, custom-made dildo stared up at him. It even had a knot on the end, so I could, you know...research.

I buried my face in my hands, having totally forgotten that was there. Great. Just great. Now what would he think?

“This yours?” He asked, amused. 

Who else’s would it be? Not like I ever had any company. I tried to wet my suddenly dry mouth and nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I...”

“It’s hot,” Edison said without waiting for me to finish. “I wanna see you use it.”

“I...wha—“

I didn’t think it was possible, but I was even more embarrassed—and even more aroused—than ever. I ducked around Edison and climbed off the bed, grabbing the dildo to put back in its place. 

Only then did I realize where I kept my toys. All the plugs, dildos, all the shapes and sizes and colors...it wasn’t like I was getting any action with real dick, so I had to have some fun, right?

“Whoa,” Edison said from behind me. “You um...have quite the collection.”

I snapped the lid of the chest closed and cursed under my breath. This was why I entertained myself! No one else to see you, or judge you...

Just like he was judging me right now.

“Where’d you get all that stuff?” Edison asked. I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped he’d forget all about it. No one liked talking about their guilty pleasures, and even with this smoking-hot alpha in my bedroom, it was a little too personal.

“Online,” I muttered, putting myself between him and the toy box. My hands shook, still wrapped around the bulbous knot of the silicone dildo. 

“Why are you so embarrassed?” He asked again, kneeling onto the bed. “I can’t wait to see one of those inside you.” 

My cock visibly jumped at that, dragging Ed’s eyes downward. “I don’t want to hurt you, Beck.”

“I know,” I whispered, my grip loosening.

“If you don’t want this, you need to tell me.” He looked away, jaw clenched.

He didn’t want to hurt me. 

And he’d said he was alone, too. Maybe, just maybe, he knew how it felt. How I felt. Would it be so wrong to give in, just for the night? To experience the kind of care that other people did? Even if it didn’t go anywhere, even if I never saw him again, I needed this. 

Needed to be held, cherished, protected. 

And yes, fucked.

“Okay,” I breathed, letting my shoulders relax. “Only...” I met those dark brown eyes one more time and a smile finally spread across my face. I had an idea. “I want you to use it on me instead.”

Ed’s eyes widened and his mouth opened in a little ‘o’ of surprise, quickly overwhelmed by the blistering heat of desire I saw there. He reached forward and took the dildo from my hands, admiring the proud length, the marbled colors, and of course the fat, unyielding knot at the base. 

“You want me to fuck you with this?” He asked in a voice so low it made my chest shake. “Want me to fill you up?”

I nodded, biting my lip. If one of us didn’t do something soon, I was going to...

“As you wish,” Edison granted, then put the silicone dick aside to work at the hem of my pants.

My knees buckled and I melted onto the bed, all rational thought now totally gone with the feeling of Ed’s mouth on my skin. He left a maddening trail of kisses across my stomach, along my hips, down across the waistline of my pants until I felt the graze of a few teeth.

I gasped and looked downward. He was pulling my pants off...with his teeth.

“Fuck,” I breathed and threw my head backward. All my dreams and fantasies were coming true at once. My cock twitched again, nearly ready to explode just from the anticipation.

I propped myself up on my elbows and tore my shirt over my head. Sweat already formed on my skin and baked off of me in waves. It was hot in here. Much too hot for clothes.

Ed whisked my pants downward, taking my briefs with them, and then my cock was surrounded with nothing but air. I groaned in relief, no longer having to press against the fabric confines of clothing, but I groaned even louder when Ed’s mouth right right for the swollen, leaking head, licking away the drop of precum that had formed there. 

Seeing Edison lick his lips and taste my precum might have been the hottest thing I’d ever seen. I wound my fingers into the sheets, holding on to anything that would keep me from blowing. My back arched, my legs shook. I moaned low in my throat, my body a study in betrayal.

I’d never wanted anyone this bad before. Not even in my most heated toy sessions had I felt anything this overwhelming, and now I feared I might burn right along with the flame inside me.

Of all the ways to go, I mused wearily, this wasn’t a bad one.

Ed dropped his head again and enveloped my cock, taking each inch of my throbbing length into the warm, wet cavern of his mouth. I cried out and bucked against him, no longer caring how I looked or sounded. My mind flashed on repeat with one single thought: need. Need. Need.

Mine.

There was that word.  The one that everyone always used when talking about mates. They always said you’d know it when it happened, but I knew well enough I’d never find anything like that.

Mine.

The word echoed through my brain again and when I opened my eyes and saw Edison hovering over me, I almost believed it.

“Where’s your lube?” Ed asked, pointing at the knot dildo still laying on the bed. “Unless you’d rather have the real thing...”

Could I have both?

“In the drawer,” I panted, not trusting myself to say anything else.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Mine. The word thudded through me with each beat of my heart.

Mine.

But I wasn’t foolish enough to fall for that. 

The sound of wood and metal as the drawer slid open. The ‘pop’ of a plastic lid. A squirt. Footsteps.

“Legs up,” Edison said, and I realized he was right in front of me, angling the toy right at my hole.

I’d had plenty of lonely nights with only a silicone cock to fill the emptiness inside. Tonight? I needed something more.

“Forget the toy,” I panted and batted it out of his hand. It bounced and rolled over on the bedspread. “I want you.”

His eyes flashed with half-shock, half-triumph, and he rose again to move toward the drawer. 

“As you wish.”

There was a little moment of shuffling as he dug around for the condoms and another helping of lube. Good man. I only kept the condoms around to make clean up on my toys easier, but who knew they’d actually come in handy one day? Something in the back of my mind struck out , some weird little niggling worry, but I couldn’t quite place it. It was just nerves. Just nerves.

Oh god, there it was. 

Edison slipped off his briefs and his huge cock jutted toward his stomach, fully engorged and leaking precum. My mouth watered just looking at it. What would it feel like? What would it taste like?

This could be my only chance to find out. 

“Let me,” I said, sitting up and grabbing the condom from him. “I want to...I need to touch you.”

“Go for it,” he said with a grin, leaning back to get me full access. 

Wow. I stared at it for a few moments longer, taking in every ridge. I’d seen plenty of cock online, but seeing it in person? No fucking contest.

I wrapped my hand around his length, my fingers barely able to meet around his girth. I’d played with some pretty large toys before, but this...this was real. The skin was soft and velvety smooth, hot and pulsing. I trailed my fingers down the shaft and then back up the other side, reveling in the sensation. Edison hissed and flinched against me when I made it to the head, swiping a finger across his opening to catch the drop of precum there. 

His eyes didn’t leave mine when I brought the finger to my mouth and gave it a lick. His scent and flavor exploded in my senses, only heightening the choir of need inside my mind. Mine! Need! Mine! Mine!

“God,” I groaned, licking my finger clean. “That’s sweet.”

Ed grabbed the back of my head and pulled me toward him, our lips clashing. I could taste myself on his tongue, and he on mine. The confluence of taste and pheromones made me feel lightheaded and dizzy with pleasure. 

Had I known that being with an alpha in the flesh could be so overwhelming...well, maybe I would have listened to Drake a long time ago.

“You’re the sweet one,” Ed mumbled against my lips, flicking his tongue out to taste me again. “Now lay back and lift up your legs.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I relaxed onto the pile of pillows, watching him with lust-crazed eyes. He moved between my thighs, pushing them apart. I felt so open, so vulnerable. My brain couldn’t decide whether to hide or thrust up against him, and to be honest? That conflict was the hottest thing of all.

I arched my hips toward him, mewling as Edison slipped the condom over his engorged cock. “This is going to be cold,” he warned, positioning the lube bottle over my hole. 

I should have been prepared for the sensation, but even knowing that it was coming, I wasn’t. I hissed in a breath as the cold, slippery lube landed on my delicate ass. Edison dipped his fingers down between my thighs and rubbed it around, caressing the puckered ring of muscle there until I was twitching with need against him. 

“Please,” I managed to grunt in an awkward plea, and then he slipped a finger inside me. I saw stars and my cock couldn’t take it anymore, jerking upward as I came, groaning, all over my stomach and his hand. Edison watched with wide, awestruck eyes, taking it all in. 

“If you’re gonna cum just from that,” he warned me, sliding a finger through the mess and bringing it up to his mouth. “We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight.”

His finger slipped away from my spasming hole and in its place was something larger. Much larger.

“You okay?” Ed asked me, leaning forward to run a hand over my neck, collarbone, chest.

“Do it,” I hissed through gritted teeth.

And do it he did.

I was no stranger to the sensation of being filled—I had toys for that—but this was different. Much different. Much better. 

Silicone toys could never pulse with life and warmth. Toys weren’t connected to a smoking-hot alpha that covered you in kisses and kindness, only to rear back and plunge into you until you lost all sense of reality. 

I bit my lip against a moan and gripped at the sheets frantically. Sparks of energy flashed before my eyes and traveled through my core. Despite my recent orgasm, he had me getting hard all over again.

“Fuuuck,” I whispered, drawing out the word.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Edison teased, and then he really went to town.

I could have laid like that forever, grasping and panting and clawing as Edison’s huge cock plowed into me again and again. Every time felt like the first time, the stretch and the delicious warmth only building with each careful stroke. The alpha’s eyes never left mine, never faltered. His strong arms grounded me. They held me steady as I squirmed and quaked against him. Even when sweat began to bead up on both our foreheads, he didn’t stop. 

No, that wasn’t quite it.

He couldn’t stop.

And neither could I.

Edison’s breaths came fast and labored now, in time with his frantic thrusts. I bucked against him as hard as I could, looking for that last bit of friction to send me over the edge. My hand wrapped around my cock, milking it desperately, and his eyes held me trapped in the moment, suspended in one blissful, timeless measure. 

The light in the room changed, glowed brighter with a warm orange hue that seemed to seep into my very skin. Sunrise already?

That thought didn’t last long, however. In the warm, dusky haze of early morning, Edison pumped into me one last, violent time, burying himself all the way to the hilt. He roared and held on to me for dear life, and that’s when I felt it.

The impossible stretch of the alpha’s knot. 

It was so much fuller, so much better than the toys I’d used. Hell, I didn’t know if I could ever go back after this.

But you’ll have to, I reminded myself. So much for this one night stand.

Before the fear and loathing could get far enough to take hold, Ed clamped down and grunted his release. The knot didn’t have much of a use since Ed was wearing a condom, but god, did it feel good. 

I rode it out along with him, burying my face in his chest and losing myself to every pulse and ache of our bodies melding into one. And all the time, I saw that flashing orange light behind my eyelids. 

Felt the undeniable certainty that something about this was right, in a way I’d never dared to feel before.

I craned my neck to look over at my alpha, who’d rolled over on his side to nestle me in a spooning position. We’d be locked together for some time yet while his knot went down, but in the meantime? We could cuddle. 

I placed my hand over his, my tongue heavy with all the things I wanted to say. He probably had hookups like this all the time. An alpha like him? 

That’s all I was. All I could ever be. 

Right?

As sense returned and my breathing returned to normal, I fought those notions and fears. And as sleep threatened to take me away, I resolved this: whatever happened tomorrow, at least I had him for tonight. 

Even as my body relaxed and I passed into dreamland in my alpha’s arms, I couldn’t help thinking that there was something missing...something I’d forgotten...

But I’d worry about that in the morning.