Chapter 10

A week later Rob was throwing Allison down onto the bed in his room with a growly sound that made her squeal.

“When I said to make your move,” she said in an intentionally taunting voice, “I didn’t mean to do it like a caveman.”

She’d been called in to work the evening shift today because one of the weekend waitresses had called in sick. She was glad for the extra money, but she didn’t like work to cut into her weekend time with Rob, so she’d stopped by his place after she finished up at around nine thirty.

Rob had been watching baseball on TV, and it was apparently a close game. He hadn’t been particularly attentive when she’d arrived, so she’d sat in a leather chair, not saying a word until, during a commercial break, he finally realized something was wrong.

He’d made a fairly good attempt to apologize—considering he was still half watching the game. Fortunately there were only a few minutes left, so she had his full attention after that.

He did his best to woo her out of her righteous indignation, and soon she was just holding out on principle. Finally she’d told him that if he wanted something, he should make his move, and that was how she’d ended up scooped up, carried into his bedroom, and then flung down on his bed.

Truth be told, her heart was racing with exhilaration as he moved over her, propping himself above her on straightened arms.

“Then what did you mean by ‘make your move’?” he asked thickly. There was a fire in his eyes that excited her even more. She didn’t see this side of him very often, and she liked it.

“I meant, make your move like a…a gentleman.”

He choked on a laugh but managed to sustain his dominant tone and expression. “Too bad. No gentleman here.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“What do you want me to do?”

Her chest was rising and falling quickly, and she knew her cheeks were flushed. She was stretched out beneath him, and her hair was in her face. “Maybe you’re going to have to figure that out for yourself.”

He kissed her hard then—nothing sweet or gentle about it. And afterward he reared up and pulled open her blouse, yanking off a couple of buttons in the process.

She gasped loudly, clenching with arousal at the fierce move and the way he was staring down at her body. He pulled one of her breasts out of her bra and gave her nipple a quick lick. When she arched up toward him, he gave it a few sucks that made her moan.

He pulled out the other breast and gave it the same treatment until she couldn’t stay still. For some reason, even the simple stimulation was making her crazy.

“Now what do you want?” he murmured, eyeing her hotly, possessively.

“You tell me.”

He unbuttoned her pants and then yanked them down with her panties. He finally unclasped her bra so she was completely naked beneath him, while he had on all his clothes. “I think you want this,” he said, moving lower on her body so his mouth was hovering over her arousal.

She gasped and pushed her hips up toward him. “Yes, please,” she hissed, not even caring if she sounded completely shameless.

He leaned down to tease her intimately with his tongue and then stroke her internally with two fingers. She was riding his hand, quickly approaching orgasm, when he smiled and withdrew his hand.

“Damn it,” she muttered, whimpering at the loss of stimulation. “I was close.”

“I know you were,” he said, giving her that same look of primitive power. He was aroused now too. She could see it in his face. She didn’t have to look at his crotch. “But maybe I want you to come in a different way.”

For some reason, his words made her clench again in pleasure. She writhed on the bed, desperately turned on and desperately wanting him to touch her. “All right,” she said hoarsely. “Then move me the way you want me. Take me the way you want to.”

She saw the fire blaze in his eyes, but he paused for a minute, checking her expression. “You sure?” he asked softly.

The brief question nearly sent her heart in overdrive as much as her body. “Oh yeah.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get.” He turned her body over and lifted her butt, sliding her thighs apart.

She gasped when she heard him unzip and then felt the tip of his erection at her entrance. “Now, Rob, please.”

He thrust into her, making her moan and then moan again when he pulled out slightly and pushed in even more.

She and Rob had tried a lot of positions, but he’d never taken her from behind before. She’d never said she didn’t want to, but she’d also never suggested it. It had been Arthur’s favorite position, and so it would never be her first choice. But this was different than with Arthur. Even the position. He hadn’t put her on her hands and knees. Rob had just raised her bottom. The penetration felt tight and she could feel Rob pressed behind her, and she wanted him so much she would come from anything.

“Do you like that?” he asked breathlessly, rolling his hips in a way that made her breath hitch.

“Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Take me the way you want.”

Rob started to thrust then, fast and hard and powerful. She clutched at the sheets and tried to push back against him but couldn’t get much leverage. She felt almost helpless, but it wasn’t scary. He was making her feel so good.

Soon she started whimpering and then crying out when the sensations intensified quickly. She pressed her cheek against the mattress and heard herself babbling out all kinds of things—about how good he was, how hard she wanted him to take her, how much she wanted him to make her come.

Then she was coming, her body clamping down all around his penetration, and she was biting back a scream as the pleasure overwhelmed her. Now she could hear him muttering, “There you go, baby. You’re so good. Let go. Come just like that for me.” And his words were just making it all even hotter.

She didn’t know if the orgasm just lasted longer than an orgasm should, or if she kept having more, but as he continued to thrust, the pleasure kept sweeping over her, and she was making choked sounds as she tried to process it all.

She looked over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of them in the mirror over the dresser, her positioned with her naked ass in the air, Rob taking her so hard that the bed was shaking. And the visual just made her come even harder. She was nearly sobbing into the covers now, her hair sticking messily to her face and her skin covered in perspiration.

Just when she was afraid she couldn’t handle any more, Rob froze without warning, letting out a muffled shout. He ground his hips against her bottom as he made his last jerky pushes.

She turned her head so she could see him come, and then both of them were collapsing to the bed.

Rob landed beside her, rolling over onto his back and gasping loudly.

Allison was gasping just as loudly, but she didn’t even have the energy to turn over. She was sore and exhausted and hot and cold, all at the same time. And she was washed with a kind of sated relaxation she’d never experienced before, as if her body had taken all the pleasure it needed and couldn’t imagine wanting any more.

“Oh God,” she moaned, with great effort turning her face in Rob’s direction.

“ ‘Oh God’ is right.” He scooted a little closer to her and reached out to stroke her hair.

“That was…that was…”

“Beyond words.”

“Right.”

“I can’t believe we…”

“Did that.”

She choked on amusement and finally managed to turn onto her side, reaching out to take Rob’s hand. “I’ve never had sex like that before.”

“Me either.”

“I didn’t even think it was possible to…I mean, I figured it was just in porn or exaggerated sexy books where people could….could…”

“Could what?” Rob’s face was streaming with sweat, but his eyes were focused on her face.

“Could come like that.”

“It probably just takes an exceptionally talented man,” he said.

She snorted. “Hey, I was part of it too.”

He picked his hand up again and cupped her cheek. “I know you were. You were amazing.”

“So were you.”

They smiled at each other. Apparently, they’d finished giving each other compliments because they lay in pleased silence for a long time, until finally Allison started to get cold. She didn’t want to put on her torn blouse, so she grabbed a T-shirt from the laundry basket in the middle of the floor that was always filled with clean clothes.

All of Rob’s dirty clothes were on the floor of his closet, if they made it that far.

She found her panties at the bottom of the bed and slid them on, and then she curled up next to Rob, pleased when he wrapped an arm around her.

When they’d first starting sleeping together, she’d always been nervous after sex because Rob seemed so vulnerable. She’d been afraid he’d start sharing feelings or something, but he never had.

Now she wished he would.

She wasn’t expecting for him to say he loved her. She just wanted to know more about the deepest parts of him, the parts he still kept hidden. It felt like he was holding back on purpose, and she didn’t want him to.

Not anymore.

Things were different than they’d been when she first met him.

It was still fairly early in their relationship, though, so she shouldn’t reproach him for anything. He’d put up with a lot of frustration from her, waiting for her to finally be okay with taking their relationship public, so she had nothing to complain about.

She wanted to say something now, get him to open up a little, but decided it wasn’t the right time. She’d lie here and enjoy being with him.

She let all the remaining tension drain out of her body and told herself that everything was good.

Rob had had good sex before. He’d always liked sex, and he’d never been afraid to try new things. But sex with Allison was better than any he’d ever had, and what they’d just done had completely blown him away.

He was hot and tired and really just wanted to go to sleep, but Allison obviously wanted to cuddle, and he had no real problem with that. She’d never been annoying after sex, like some of the women he’d been with. She never wanted to talk endlessly or break down everything they could have done better.

He really wouldn’t mind lying like this with Allison—for the rest of his life.

He was almost asleep when he felt a shift in her body. Not much. Just a slight tightening. “Y’okay?” he mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“Need to go to the bathroom?”

“I’m okay.”

Something didn’t feel quite right with her, although he couldn’t identify what was triggering the feeling. “Tell me,” he demanded gruffly. If something was wrong, he wanted to fix it.

“Nothing’s wrong, Rob,” she said in a clearer voice. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

She hesitated a moment before she finally asked, “So you really haven’t had sex like that before?”

“What?” he asked, lifting his head briefly. He was startled and disturbed by the idea that she thought he was naturally rough in bed and that that was what had upset her. “Do you really think I’m some kind of caveman, going around and fucking random women until they scream their heads off?”

“I didn’t scream my head off.”

“Uh-huh.” He was distracted enough by this to smile a little.

“All right. I might have screamed a little.” She rolled over in his arms so she could lift her head and look down on him. “And I know you’re not some sort of rough caveman. I was just wondering about your past.”

He suddenly realized what she was asking and why she was asking, and his heart started sinking painfully. He’d just been appreciating the fact that she wasn’t like that, that she didn’t have conversations like this after sex.

“You really don’t want me to go into detail about how I had sex in the past, do you?” He tried to make the question light, but it came out a little defensive.

“No.” She sighed. She was sitting up now, with her legs folded beside her. “Of course not. You don’t even have to tell me about the sex. I just want to know something about how things were for you before I met you, and you almost never tell me anything.”

“That’s not true.” His postsex enjoyment was seriously disrupted now. He was annoyed and impatient and tightly anxious underneath that, like something he’d been ignoring was about to be revealed. He stretched out on his back and gave her a cool look. “I talk about my life all the time.”

Something flickered across her face, like she was regretting bringing up the subject at all. But instead of acting on the feeling, she straightened her back and went on. “You talk about school, and your parents, and your job, and all of the friends you have. You’ve never told me about your past relationships in any detail.”

“I have.” This was going exactly where he didn’t want it to go—as surely as if she’d read his mind and discovered precisely what would make him most angry and defensive. “I told you Marie cheated on me and that Dee was never stable. What else do you want to know?”

“I want to know how you felt about that! I want to know about things you consider mistakes. And the only time you ever talk about anything connected to that is when you’re forced into it.”

“For God’s sake, Allison,” he groaned, closing his eyes and willing her to just drop the subject.

“I don’t think I’m asking anything unreasonable,” she said after a minute, her voice a little wobbly now. She was clearly getting upset. “I’ve told you everything about Arthur.”

She had. Over the last several weeks, she’d told him all kinds of intimate details of her marriage to Arthur. But that was different. It was entirely different.

He opened his eyes to see Allison, sitting on his bed beside him, wearing his shirt, her hair rumpled around her face and shoulders, her eyes huge and sober. She was beautiful and sexy and brave and resilient and so much stronger than she looked.

And she was saying exactly what his mother had told him last weekend. He could hear his mother’s voice in the back of his mind. And Allison’s, right in front of him.

He was trapped, frozen, starting to panic, so he did what he needed to do to get the voices to stop. He snapped, “You’re the one who wouldn’t even go on a date with me until last week. What exactly do you expect of me?”

She froze, completely silenced by his words.

Rob felt a wave of guilt as he watched the emotions slowly process on her face, and he felt like the biggest asshole in history. He’d known exactly where she was most insecure and he’d used it against her on purpose, just to get her to shut up.

“You’re right,” she said at last, the words no more than a breathless gasp. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Shit,” he muttered, starting to sit up. “I’m sorry. Don’t be upset.”

“I’m not upset.” She wasn’t meeting his eyes, and she lay back down on the bed, pulling the covers up over her. “Sometimes it feels like our relationship is a little…a little unbalanced. I’m always the needy one, and you’re always taking care of me. But I shouldn’t have pushed like that. I’m sorry.”

Rob’s mind was a torrent of emotions now, and he couldn’t sort them all out. But the dominant one was that he desperately needed to fix this.

He’d told his mother he was treating Allison right, and yet he had completely crushed her just now.

On purpose.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he said thickly, reaching over to turn her so she was facing him and then taking her hands. “I’m sorry I said that.”

“It’s really okay, Rob.” She gave him a wobbly smile. “I just want you to be able to talk to me, but I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“Don’t apologize again. You’re right. I should talk to you more.”

Her eyes widened, suddenly hopeful, and Rob gulped back another wave of deep anxiety. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t do this kind of thing. He didn’t show the world his dirty hands, all the mistakes and vulnerabilities and mess in his life.

He definitely didn’t tell Allison. All he wanted to do was take care of her.

She didn’t say anything. Just gazed at him, both of them on their sides on the bed.

She trusted him. He could see it so clearly. She believed he was going to do the right thing.

He wanted to. He wanted for him and Allison to love each other and enjoy each other and depend on each other. He wanted to trust her too.

He cleared his throat. “It’s just…hard for me to…to…” He had to take a jerky breath, so hard was this for him to say.

In the pause between his words, he heard his phone vibrate with an incoming text message. It was two o’clock in the morning, so the sound was unexpected enough to draw his attention.

Allison glanced up to the nightstand too. “You better check it,” she said quietly. “Something might be wrong.”

With a groan, he reached over to grab the phone. When he read the message, he had to smother another groan. It was a buddy of his, letting him know that Dee was drinking herself into a frenzy and that someone needed to come get her before she got in real trouble.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s Dee. She’s…she’s in trouble.” He was torn in about a dozen directions at once. He knew he shouldn’t leave now. They’d been having a real conversation, one that meant something to Allison. And to him. Just because he was afraid and vulnerable and feeling out of control didn’t mean he should just run away from it.

He knew it was wrong. Allison was far more important to him than Dee was.

But he also didn’t want to have the conversation they’d been about to have. It made him feel helpless, vulnerable. Out of control.

And he’d tried for so long never to feel that way anymore.

“I should probably go help her,” he said at last.

“Okay.”

He shot Allison a quick look. “I’m sorry. Maybe there’s someone else who could…” He trailed off, because there was absolutely no one else who was willing to help Dee. If he didn’t go, she would probably end up in jail. That wasn’t reason enough to leave Allison now. He knew it, but this was an escape route that he wanted to take.

“No, no. You go help her if she really needs someone.” Allison was sitting up again, and it looked like she meant what she was saying. “I’ll come with you.”

“No!” He hadn’t meant the word to come out so roughly, but there was no way he wanted Allison to witness what was waiting for him.

She pulled back slightly, clearly taken aback. “I just wanted to help you.”

“I know.” He leaned over to kiss her before he climbed off the bed. “I do appreciate it. But you stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’m really sorry.”

He found his clothes quickly and kissed her once more before he hurried out of the house.

He was conscious of a little tremor of a feeling underlying all the other ones coursing through him. He knew what it was.

Relief. Relief. That he could go help someone who needed it and feel more like himself.

That he could avoid that particular conversation he’d been about to have.

That he could once again be the person he’d always been.

About an hour later he came back home. He half expected Allison to be gone, but she was still in his bed, lying on her side under the covers.

He took his clothes off and climbed in beside her. He paused for a second. She wasn’t speaking or moving, but there was something about her body that made him sure she was awake. He scooted up behind her so he could spoon her.

“Is everything all right?” she asked after he’d wrapped his arms around her.

“Yeah. I took her home. She’s basically passed out, but she’ll be okay.”

“Is Cali all right?”

“She’s visiting her dad this weekend.”

Allison relaxed a little, and Rob couldn’t help but be touched that she’d been worried about the girl.

She didn’t say anything else, though, and after a while it started to worry him.

“Allison,” he murmured. “It feels like you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad.”

“I can talk things through with you, if you really want, but I’d rather not do it right now. I’m tired.” The night felt like it was endless. He couldn’t believe they’d had that amazing sex just a couple of hours ago.

“We don’t have to.”

He stroked her belly. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I shouldn’t have been so pushy.”

Rob relaxed. She sounded all right. He’d just be careful for the next few days, make sure she wasn’t upset with him. And he’d try to open up more with her so she didn’t think he was holding back.

Right now, though, he was exhausted, and he really needed to go to sleep.

Allison didn’t say anything else, and Rob was immensely relieved that he could finally close his eyes.

The next afternoon Allison walked into Rob’s kitchen to grab some more beers.

Rob had Keith and Mitch over to watch a game on TV. Normally Allison would have been perfectly happy to let him have his guy time while she did her own thing at her house. She was feeling a little uncomfortable after last night, so she would have liked to spend a few hours making jewelry, something that calmed her and made her happy.

But Rob had seemed to really want her to stay, so she’d agreed.

She brought the beers back into living room, which was slightly neater than usual, since Rob had picked up a big pile of stuff before the other men had arrived and dumped it on the floor of the coat closet.

“Thanks, hon,” Mitch told her, accepting the beer she offered him.

Keith just mumbled something incoherent.

She smiled as she handed Rob his beer and was surprised when he reached out to draw her onto the recliner with him.

“You don’t have to bring us stuff,” he said, brushing a kiss against her hair after he’d settled her beside him.

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, you’ve done enough, so just relax and watch the game.”

Allison had no real interest in baseball, but at least she understood it better than football, and it wasn’t like all the action came to an abrupt halt every few seconds. She nestled against Rob’s nice, solid body, enjoying the feel of his arm around her, and focused on the television screen.

She knew Rob still felt bad about the night before. She knew he was trying to be extra sweet today to make up for it. She wasn’t angry, but she was really upset—mostly with herself.

She’d been surprised and hurt when Rob left her last night, but she hadn’t confronted him about it. She’d wanted to, but she’d sensed some sort of block in him—and she’d been sure if she pushed him any further, he would close down on her completely.

She hadn’t wanted that to happen. She’d been afraid of losing him. She’d felt guilty because it still bothered him that it had taken her so long to make their relationship public. She’d gone into panic mode at the thought of life without him. So she hadn’t done what she really knew she should have done.

Even now that she’d had time to think it through and realize she’d been wrong to cave the way she had, she couldn’t make herself bring it up. It didn’t feel like the right time. It seemed like her chance to address his behavior had passed.

She had no idea what she should do, but she just didn’t feel right about the whole thing.

A half hour later Allison tried to pull out of Rob’s arm, but he wouldn’t let her. “Don’t go,” he murmured a little thickly. He was looking down at her face, reading her expression.

“I need to go to the bathroom, and Mitch needs another beer.”

“He can get his own. You don’t have to wait on my friends.”

They were both speaking very softly to keep the conversation private. She smiled at him. He was really very sweet at heart. Maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe it was just her lingering insecurities that were making her so uncertain. “I really don’t mind occasionally—just to be nice.”

“You’re plenty nice. You need to relax and enjoy yourself sometimes.”

Since he was clearly trying to think of her, she didn’t mention that watching sports wasn’t her ideal way to enjoy herself. She stretched up to give him a soft kiss. “I really do need to go to the bathroom.”

“Hey,” Keith called out, without turning away from the TV, “none of that mushy stuff during the game.”

Allison chuckled and finally pulled out of Rob’s arm.

She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. Her hair was braided, and she wore one of Rob’s T-shirts and a pair of leggings. She had no makeup on, and she wasn’t wearing shoes.

She didn’t look anything—not anything—like the woman who had walked out on Arthur nine months ago.

She wondered if she’d changed as much inside. Or if, despite her altered appearance, she was still just a trophy wife at heart. Not quite so young. Not quite so gorgeous. But still vulnerable and dependent deep down—as Arthur had always insisted.

Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts, she walked into the hall and called out, “Rob? My feet are cold. Can I borrow a pair of your socks?”

“Sure. They’re in the drawer.”

She shuffled into the bedroom and opened the top drawer of his dresser, where he kept his socks.

The first thing she saw was an engagement ring.

It had to be an engagement ring. It was a gold band with a pretty diamond solitaire in a delicate setting. It wasn’t incredibly expensive—at least not by Allison’s old standards—but it was good quality and lovely and looked full of history.

It was an engagement ring.

She stared dazedly for a moment, until she heard Rob’s voice, sounding like it was moving down the hall toward her, “Actually, you better just grab some out of the basket,” he was saying.

Reacting quickly, she closed the drawer and turned away from the dresser. She was staring at the laundry basket when he entered the room.

She saw his face, the rush of relief when he saw her. “All the socks in the drawer have holes,” he explained.

He hadn’t wanted her to see the ring.

She managed a smile and leaned down to dig through the clothes in the basket until she found a matching pair of socks. Rob took her hand and pulled her back into the living room, away from his bedroom.

She sat in the recliner with him again and pulled on the socks. Then she cuddled up beside him and pretended to watch the game.

She saw nothing on the screen.

There was no way that Rob was about to propose to her. No way. It was way too early for them, and Rob would know that.

Maybe that ring was just a family heirloom or something he kept in that drawer. It looked old, so that would make sense.

But then why had he been so urgent about her not opening the drawer and seeing it. He’d jumped out of his chair and rushed down the hall to keep her from finding it.

There was still no way, though. He wasn’t going to propose. Not anytime soon. He still wouldn’t open up to her all the way. He still wouldn’t let her help him in any way. He’d left her last night to go to Dee, when he must have known he shouldn’t do so. He’d been running away from the conversation they’d been about to have. He would know that they weren’t ready for such a step.

She satisfied herself with this conclusion. She was sure he wasn’t about to pop the question.

She couldn’t help but still see that ring, though, and the visual shot right down to that low-level anxiety she’d been feeling and stirred it up into real fear.

Rob wanted to be married. He wanted a happy, stable marriage like his parents’. He wanted a traditional family and a sweet, small-town wife and a bunch of happy kids.

But she wasn’t ready to be a wife again—not when she wasn’t yet sure that she could really make it on her own. She still caved when she felt like he was displeased with her. She was starting to say things he wanted to hear—or not say things that he didn’t.

She still couldn’t get him to trust her with his deepest feelings, lean on her when he felt weak, or even admit that he needed her in any way. That wasn’t the kind of relationship she wanted.

She would become another trophy wife. Rob was a better man, but maybe the problem had always been her.

She was growing more and more upset as the time passed and was doing the best she could not to show it. Finally the game ended, and Mitch and Keith got up to leave.

To hide her expression, she gathered up the empty bottles and took them to kitchen, telling the guys goodbye as she went.

She heard Rob chatting with his friends about getting together later to work on Mitch’s car.

Rob was like that. Always helping people. Always being the shoulder to lean on. Always being strong and competent and solid. It was the way he lived his life, and it wasn’t going to change.

He was never going to let her be someone he leaned on too. He didn’t even want her to be that person.

The guys were still talking on the front porch. She could hear them through the door. Mitch called out a “See you later,” and then Keith was saying, “Hey, don’t think I’ve forgotten. I owe you a hundred bucks.”

This surprised Allison so much that she paused to listen.

“You don’t owe me—” Rob began.

“Hey!” Keith interrupted. “I never welch on my bets. It was a hundred dollars that you couldn’t get her to go out with you in three months. Well, three months was last week, and you’ve done way more than go out with her.”

Allison blinked.

“Would you shut up?” Rob muttered, his hushed voice growing fainter, like he was pulling Keith farther from the front door.

He didn’t want her to hear this, exactly as he didn’t want her to see that ring in his drawer.

They must have made some sort of bet that Rob couldn’t get Allison to go out with him.

And he’d won. He’d won her. So now he could put her on the shelf like another trophy.

She knew the thought wasn’t fair. She knew that if he’d made that bet, it would have been before he’d really known her. She knew she was the one who couldn’t be anything but dependent and it wasn’t really him at all. But the knowledge crystallized all the chaotic fears and conclusions swirling inside her.

She knew what she needed to do now. She had to do what was best for both of them, even if it meant giving up something she was just now realizing she desperately wanted.

She took a deep breath and walked back to Rob’s bedroom. She’d left some of her things there over the last few weeks, and she needed to get them.

This time she was going to be strong. She wasn’t going to cling. She wasn’t going to end up in another strong man’s arms because she was too weak to do what she knew was right. She wasn’t going to cave and say the things Rob wanted her to say. She wasn’t going to change her mind.

Rob waved at Keith and then headed back into the house to find Allison.

Something still didn’t feel quite right with her. She must still be upset about last night, so he needed to fix it.

He’d been stupid to leave her the way he had. He’d been weak and cowardly—trying to escape from a hard conversation. Dee might have needed him, but Allison had needed him more.

He’d hoped, when she didn’t confront him after he came back to bed, that it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it was. He knew it was.

He didn’t see her in the living room or kitchen. “Allison?” he called.

She didn’t answer, so he wandered down the hall until he found her in his bedroom. She was collecting an armful of her clothes that had been left in his room over the past few weeks.

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying to read her expression and failing.

“Getting my stuff.”

“Why?” His unsettled feeling had shifted into fear, but he didn’t know why.

She didn’t answer. She just straightened up and gave him a ghost of a smile. “So you made a bet about me, did you?”

Damn it. She must have overheard Keith out on the porch. What the hell had Keith been thinking, saying something like that when Allison was around? “It’s not what you think,” Rob began quickly.

“I know. It was just a silly bet you made before you knew me.”

He released a rough sigh. “Yes. That’s it exactly. It was stupid and insensitive, but it didn’t mean anything. I’d never use you like a bet. You know that.”

“I do know that.” She wasn’t meeting his eyes, and she leaned down to pick up a shirt of hers that had slipped out of her hands.

“So why are you getting all your stuff?”

She straightened up and met his eyes. “I’m leaving.”

The words were like a blow to the gut. “What? What? Why?”

“This isn’t going to work.”

It took him almost a full minute to realize she was serious, to process exactly what she was saying. Last night had been a failure on his part, but otherwise things had been going really well between them. Rob knew he wasn’t imagining it or sugarcoating it with wishful thinking.

They were good together. He wasn’t choosing the wrong kind of woman the way he had before. He was happier with her than he’d ever been with any other woman. He’d genuinely believed she felt the same way about him.

But she was actually walking out on him. She must have almost reached his front door.

Recovering his ability to move, he strode down the hall after her. “Now, wait just a minute. You can’t just tell me it isn’t working and walk away!”

She’d taken off his socks and put on her flip-flops. She was reaching for the storm door latch. “I have to, Rob. I’m really sorry.”

He caught his breath and willed himself to be reasonable when what he really wanted to do was grab her, throw her over his shoulder, and carry her someplace where she would never leave him. “If you need some time or whatever, then I get that. I know I messed up last night, and the bet was really an asshole thing to do. If you need time, I get that.”

“I don’t need time,” she told him, her face pale and her eyes almost empty of expression. “This isn’t going to work.”

He stared at her blindly as she walked out his front door, across his porch, down the front steps, and along the driveway.

She meant it. She was really leaving him. Without even giving him a real explanation.

Once this thought had sunk in, he was spurred into action. He ran after her, catching up to her at her front door.

“Rob,” she said, her voice breaking as he grabbed her arm. She shook his grip off as she walked into her house. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing?” he rasped, his whole body throbbing with urgency. “You’re dumping me—without even telling me why. Without even telling me why!”

She was really upset. He could see that now, even beneath the frozen composure she was trying to maintain. “Of course I’ll tell you why.”

“Then tell me!” He was being too loud. Too forceful. He was going to scare her if he didn’t rein it in.

She made a strange sound, like she was choking on something. But then she straightened her shoulders and said, “I thought we could just be together, enjoy each other for a while. Like we’d said at the beginning. I thought it would be safe if it was casual, because I never really intended to stay here in Fielding for very long. But then things started to get serious.”

“I know that.” He still sounded almost mean, but at least he wasn’t shouting at her now. “That’s what happens in relationships when two people are into each other.”

“I know.” She must have heard her voice wobbling, because she took a deep breath before she continued more evenly, “But things weren’t right from the beginning. I want a real relationship. An equal relationship.”

“That’s what we have. Of course it’s what we have.”

“No, it’s not. It doesn’t feel equal to me. I’m not blaming you. It’s me doing it to myself—turning myself into another trophy wife.”

“That’s ridiculous! You’re not going to be another trophy wife. I’m not thinking about a wife right now. I just want to be with you.”

“You say that, but I know that’s not true. You have a ring in your sock drawer, and you want to give it to someone.”

The words slammed into him like another blow, and he turned away instinctively. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. “Shit, shit, shit.” She’d seen the ring after all. It was like the entire world was conspiring against him today. “Allison, my mom just gave me that old thing. I wasn’t planning to propose. What kind of idiot do you think I am that you think I’d ask you to marry me so soon?”

She covered her face with her hands for just a moment. “I didn’t think you were going to. It’s not that.”

He let out a muffled roar, about to lose it completely. “If it’s not the bet and it’s not the ring, then what the fuck is it?”

“It’s us!” she burst out, no longer able to control her emotions. Tears were streaming down her face now. “We’re not right. We never were.”

“We are right.” He realized he was going about this all wrong, so he tempered his voice and leaned in closer to her, putting a hand on the wall beside her. “Allison, I know you’re scared, but we are right. We’re so good together. If we need to go slower, then I completely understand, but don’t just run away because you’re scared.”

She stared at him with huge, sad eyes and didn’t say anything.

“Allison,” he murmured huskily, hope flaring up that he could take care of this after all. “You know we’re good together. Just tell me what I need to do to make you feel better about us.”

He thought for a moment he was getting through, that she was softening, but then suddenly she pushed him away. “You can’t fix this, Rob. You can’t fix everything. That’s not what a relationship is about.”

He blinked, growing still as he registered what she was saying. “So this is about last night?” he breathed.

“No! Yes. I don’t even know. It’s about everything!” She was clearly about to lose it completely. “I just know where this thing between us is going. I know what’s going to happen. You’re going to keep not trusting me with who you really are, pretending you’re always strong and in control. And I’m going to let you because I want to be with someone like that, because I’m so used to being dependent and going along with what a strong man wants.”

He suddenly knew exactly what she was saying, and he knew why she was saying it. She’d tried to tell him before. She’d tried to tell him last night. And she wasn’t the only one who had tried to tell him that he could never let himself feel vulnerable or risk humiliation with a woman again.

He had to clear his throat over the pressure of guilt and knowledge in his throat. “I know we both still have issues to work through, but that doesn’t mean we have to break up.”

“Yes, we do. Because we might say we’ll work on them, but we won’t. And we’ll just go along the way we’ve been going. It’s exactly what happened to me before with Arthur. And it will keep happening to us until I’m just another trophy on another man’s shelf. And I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”

Rob couldn’t even move. “I don’t think…” His voice didn’t sound anything like his own. “I don’t think of you like a trophy. I don’t.”

“It’s not something you’re doing, Rob. It’s what I’m doing—trying to be the person you want me to be. And it’s just wrong.”

He couldn’t even speak anymore. The world was spinning around him far too fast, making him dizzy, making him sick. Because something was happening here that he couldn’t stop, couldn’t fix, couldn’t make better.

“I’m so sorry, Rob,” Allison concluded in a hoarse whisper. “But I want out.”

“You…want out.”

“Yes.” She was wiping away the tears as they fell, but she didn’t lower her eyes.

She meant it. She’d seen him for who he really was, and she didn’t want him anymore.

He’d been humiliated enough in his life. He wasn’t going to do it to himself by begging her to reconsider, by spilling out how much he loved her, how he was going to be miserable without her, how he’d change anything about himself if it meant she’d be happy and stay.

If she didn’t want him, then he would accept it. He’d done just fine before she’d moved in across the street and disrupted his entire existence.

“Okay, then,” he mumbled, taking a few ragged breaths. “Then I’ll go.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, but he could barely hear her.

He was walking out, walking away, leaving her behind.

Eventually he made it all the way across the street.

The hot, humid day and his messy house seemed no different than they had an hour ago—except that the whole world had changed.