Ben Harper smiled at the joke he had only half-heard before turning his attention back across the yard. Chase Carpenter was there, laughing at something one of his football buddies had said, but he looked up just as Ben’s gaze found him, and they made eye contact for a moment before Ben turned back to the conversation he’d already been neglecting for several minutes.

I should stop torturing myself here and go home. I shouldn’t have even come in the first place.

Even as the thoughts came to him, though, Ben rejected them. He was here for Chase, and he would stay for Chase. No matter how sad and anxious being at the going away party made him, Ben knew damn good and well that leaving early—or worse, not showing up at all—had never really been an option for him.

Not when Chase was leaving for the Marines in a matter of hours. Not when Ben might never get the chance to see that smiling face or hear that familiar, easy laugh again.

“Are you having a good time, dear?” Chase’s mom, Patricia sipped from a martini as she walked up next to Ben. “Have you seen Neil? You’d think I’d be able to keep track of my husband in our own back yard.” She shook her head and continued before Ben even had time to think about answering. “I know Chase is happy that so many of his friends showed up for his big night.”

Ben nodded. Most of their graduating class had shown up—though there admittedly wasn’t much else to do on a Thursday night in Baxter Springs, Kansas. Still, Ben was glad that Chase would be able to take some good memories with him wherever he ended up being stationed.

“It is a good turnout,” Ben agreed, giving her his best smile to hide his conflicted emotions about the party. “Do you think the Marines will let him come back to visit very often?”

She sighed and shook her head. “I doubt it. And even if they did… you know my Chase. If there’s an adventure to be had, he’s the first one to sign up. I’m afraid this little town has never been exciting enough to hold his attention.”

Ben didn’t even know why he had asked. He already knew the answer, even before Mrs. Carpenter confirmed it. He would be better off without the wishful thinking. The sooner he made peace with the fact that his best friend was doing something with his life that Ben couldn’t be a part of, the better.

His brain knew that to be true, but his heart was having a harder time accepting it.

“Yeah,” Ben nodded. “I’m happy for him and everything. I just…” He shrugged, not even sure what he wanted to say.

She placed a hand on his arm and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know, honey. It’s hard for all of us. But what can you do except enjoy the time you have now and wish for the best, right?”

He nodded again and tried for a smile, but the best he could do was a sort of distracted grimace. She was right, though. The best he could hope for was to enjoy the time he had left with Chase and try to keep in touch as much as possible after he left.

And anyway, what was the alternative? For Ben to tell his best friend that he was pretty sure he’d fallen in love somewhere along the line? How would Chase react? And what would even be the point, now that Chase was leaving in the morning?

Ben knew that letting himself crush on his best friend hadn’t ever been a good idea. Not back in freshman year, when Ben had come out of the closet and Chase had been one of the few people to stick by his side. Not during the three years after that, when Ben had spent nearly every night lying awake in bed, hoping to one day find the words to tell Chase how he felt.

Now sure as hell wasn’t the right time to think about it, but Ben just couldn’t help himself. And when Chase made eye contact across the yard again, when he inclined his head and nodded toward the house—and unspoken invitation for Ben to follow—Ben didn’t even hesitate.

Whether it was because they were such good friends or whether Ben did still have a crush on Chase didn’t matter. He couldn’t imagine a time or a reason when he would deny anything Chase asked of him.

Even if that time did come, it certainly hadn’t yet.

“Thanks, Mrs. Carpenter,” Ben said, absently giving a little wave back over his shoulder as he was already crossing the yard toward Chase. “You’re right about all of that, I know.”

If she answered, he didn’t hear. It took all of his self-control not to start running when Chase had beckoned. And okay, maybe that was a little extreme—he wouldn’t have actually done that.

Probably.

But he was damn sure going to take Mrs. Carpenter up on her advice to spend as much time as possible with her son.

Starting now.

“Hey, stranger,” Chase said, deliberately bumping Ben with his shoulder as they reached the back door to Chase’s house.

“Stranger?” Ben hip-checked him and walked through the door first, tossing Chase a questioning look over his shoulder. “I’ve been here all night. To see you, I might add.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen you—on the other side of the yard. I think my mom has spent more time with you than I have tonight.”

Ben smirked, but didn’t deny it. “So, what’s up?” he asked, finally. “Why are we in here when the party is out there?”

Chase looked away and shrugged. “I don’t know. They’ll all still be here for a while. I just sort of hate that this is the last night I’m gonna be here and I feel like we’ve barely had a chance to talk.” He nodded toward the stairs that led up to his room. “Let’s just hide out up there for a while. See how long it takes before anyone misses us.”

Ben grinned and followed Chase up the stairs. This was just the sort of thing he’d been hoping for all night, but would have never asked for. He knew everyone else at the party wanted to see Chase, too, but Ben felt like he deserved a little one-on-one time.

Out of everyone at school, Chase and Ben had been inseparable. And now Ben had to get used to the idea of being separated permanently.

His best friend was going to most likely be living on the other side of the world—and even if he was stationed somewhere stateside, it wouldn’t really matter. California or Virginia or Florida might as well be on the other side of the world from Baxter Springs.

Chase waited inside the doorway to his room, then closed and locked the door behind Ben. Chase didn’t usually lock the door when they were upstairs hanging out or playing video games or whatever, but it was understandable with so many people downstairs that he didn’t want to be bothered.

They both sat down on the edge of Chase’s bed, and Ben thought back to the countless afternoons and evenings he’d spent in that very same spot, laughing and talking and stressing about whatever seemed important at the time.

It was so weird to think that they had officially moved on from those school years, that they were technically adults now, making adult decisions.

Well, Chase was making adult decisions. Ben planned to continue what he’d already been doing for years—working alongside his brother and their parents to run the family’s ranch outside of town.

“It doesn’t feel like I’m actually leaving tomorrow,” Chase said, making Ben realize the silence had stretched out between them for a couple of minutes since they’d sat down. “I guess reality hasn’t set in yet.”

“Pretty sure it’ll set in when they’re yelling at you to do pushups or whatever.” Ben shot him a half-grin. “But yeah, I know what you mean. I have to keep reminding myself that I can’t just stop by and see you tomorrow, or the day after, or… ever.”

Chase swallowed hard and nodded. “It sounds so permanent when you say it like that.”

“Isn’t it?” Ben blinked hard. He was not going to cry right now. He’d gone to the party to be supportive, and that’s what he intended to be. But surely Chase had to realize that this was sort of the end of the line for their friendship—at least as far as their day-to-day friendship. “It’s not like you can just come back on the weekends, Chase. You probably won’t even be able to come back for holidays. And when you do, you’ll be busy doing stuff with your family, which I totally understand. But it’s just—”

Chase put a finger to Ben’s lips, silencing him completely. “Shh, Ben. You’re gonna need to breathe, okay?”

Ben’s eyes were welling up with tears, and he was pretty sure they were going to spill over any moment. He was trying to stay strong—at least for Chase’s sake. But this felt like the hardest thing he’d ever been through, and it hadn’t even happened yet.

“I’m just going to miss you,” Ben said, taking a ragged breath. “More than you know.”

Chase moved his hand to Ben’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “I do know, because I’m gonna miss the hell out of you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Ben.”

Ben looked into Chase’s eyes, and could see that he was hurting, too. Chase might have been all smiles and laughs with his friends downstairs, but Ben knew him better than that.

“I know it’s dumb,” Ben said, rolling his eyes at the fact that he was seriously on the verge of tears. “But I just keep hoping you’ll change your mind, that your papers will be mixed up or something and you’ll end up staying here… with me.”

Chase smiled and shook his head. “It’s not dumb. I get what you mean.” He let his arm drop back down to his side as he inched closer to Ben. “But I’m here with you now, right?”

Ben nodded and Chase moved closer again.

Their legs were touching, and Chase put a hand on Ben’s back, then started rubbing little circles as he spoke again. “I know it’s gonna suck for both of us at first, and it’s a lot to get used to, but… I think it’ll be okay? I hope it will, anyway.”

Ben closed his eyes. If this was supposed to be a pep talk, it wasn’t really working. But it did feel good to have Chase so close, and those little circular motions on Ben’s back were making it hard to think about anything else.

He could feel Chase looking at him, and Ben’s heart started beating faster. Chase had always been affectionate with all of his friends, and never hesitated to sling an arm around just about anyone. But this felt different.

This felt like more than just sitting next to his best friend. It felt suddenly a lot more intimate.

Chase leaned in and Ben looked at him, unsure of what was happening. But when Chase’s lips parted and he gave a subtle little nod, Ben knew.

Ben raised a hand and cradled Chase’s cheek, pulling him even closer. Chase closed his eyes and Ben just couldn’t stop himself. He only had to move his head a few inches to close the distance between them, and when their lips touched, Ben could feel the soft, sweet, tingling sensation run through his whole body.

Chase put his arm back around Ben, pulling him as close as possible while they were both sitting down. It felt like Ben was floating, like there was no way this was really happening. But the feel of their tongues meeting, of Chase gently probing Ben’s mouth was too good to be anything but real. Not even a dream could be so perfect.

When Chase broke away, a tiny noise escaped the back of Ben’s throat. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He just wanted another kiss.

“Chase, sweetie, where did you go?” Patricia Carpenter’s voice called from downstairs.

Ben’s eyes snapped open and he leapt from the bed as Chase flung himself at least a foot away from where they’d been sitting. Ben could see the shock that he felt mirrored in Chase’s expression.

“I’m, uh, upstairs, Mom.” Chase’s voice wavered, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I’ll be right down.”

Ben wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, still unsure of what, exactly, had just happened.

“I’m sorry…” Ben started, but then he caught himself. He wasn’t sorry. Not really. In fact, he would’ve given anything in that moment to sit back down and re-live that kiss. But he didn’t know what else to say. “I think I should go.”

“It’s okay,” Chase said, easing off the bed but still halfway across the room from where Ben was standing. “You don’t have to go, Ben.”

Ben tried to force a smile, but it wasn’t happening. All he could do was nod as he moved toward the door. “Yeah, I think I do. Good luck in the military.” He opened the door and took a long look at his best friend, knowing it was probably the last time they’d see each other—maybe even the last time they’d speak. “I’ll miss you.”

Chase opened his mouth to say something, but Ben couldn’t stand to stay and listen. He had to go, had to run down the stairs and out the front door and get as far away from Chase as he could as the tears started rolling down his cheeks.

He didn’t even try to stop the tears this time. There was no point. His heart was heavy. His friend was leaving.

And Ben didn’t know what that meant for their friendship, but he couldn’t help feeling that it might have just ended.