CHAPTER EIGHT
Ian’s sixteenth-floor penthouse was like nothing Kerri had ever seen or had the opportunity to experience in her lifetime. Spacious, elegant and decorated with expensive, richly textured furnishings, his home held every luxury a person could ever want or wish for. Including a breathtaking, million-dollar view of Grant Park and Chicago Harbor from the floor-to-ceiling windows in his living room.
The men she’d dated had never come close to Ian’s wealth and sophistication, and she was impressed with his success. And despite the independent, feminist attitude she had when it came to men, she couldn’t deny that a part of her liked being swept off her feet and being romanced by Ian. But for as much as she enjoyed Ian’s ability to make her feel special and cherished, she couldn’t allow herself to get used to his lavish attention and pampering, because their affair was as temporary as the sexy city nights campaign they were involved in.
She continued to gaze at the exquisite scenery as she waited for Ian to return from the back part of the penthouse, where he’d disappeared minutes after they’d arrived at his place. He’d excused himself, told her to make herself comfortable while he changed, yet she hadn’t been able to sit for more than thirty seconds on his luxurious suede couch before jumping up and pacing to the window.
She crossed her arms over her sensitive breasts and chewed on her thumbnail. Despite what happened in the limo and her bold request for Ian to bring her back to his place, she was glad for the brief reprieve. She was nervous all over again—this next step wasn’t just about pleasuring Ian as it had been in the limo, but an intimate act that would strip bare her body and soul.
No matter that she talked the sexy talk on her show, she’d never been the promiscuous type and she didn’t take sex lightly. An affair with Ian wouldn’t equate to frivolous sex as she’d once believed. Instead, having gotten to know him on an intimate, personal level, and truly liking the man he was, she feared making love with him would encompass something far more emotional than a satisfying romp in bed. The kind of feelings she’d steadfastly avoided, yet Ian had an effortless way of bringing to the surface with his mere presence, his touch, a glance.
One of the lamps behind her clicked off, leaving the light from the marbled entryway as the only source of illumination in the house. She turned around and found Ian wearing a pair of gray cotton sweat shorts, and nothing else, which drew her gaze to all the bare parts of his athletically toned body. And there was plenty about him to admire, as she’d learned earlier.
Reining in her fascination, she smiled. “You really have done well for yourself,” she complimented, indicating with a wave of her hand the valuable artwork on the wall, the costly furnishings, and the home in which he lived.
He shrugged modestly. “They’re just things, Kerri.”
Things that equaled success, she thought, all too aware of the fact that she’d yet to reach that level of accomplishment in her own career, that sense of satisfaction of making it big and on her own. She was close, closer than she’d ever been before—thanks to Ian.
He spread his arms wide. “What you’re looking at right now is the real Ian.”
She looked her fill once more of the down-to-earth, unpretentious man standing before her—his broad chest, flat belly, muscular thighs. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he was semi-aroused beneath those thin cotton shorts he wore. “I do have to say that the real Ian is very appealing.”
An amused smile curved his lips. “I’m glad you think so.”
A familiar shiver of awareness coursed down the length of her spine as he slowly approached her from across the room.
He stopped a few feet away from her and glanced around the room, seemingly taking in everything through her eyes. “I’ll admit it’s nice to be able to buy anything I might want, but these objects and this house aren’t what’s important to me.” His warm gaze returned to hers. “I could be just as happy in a small house in the suburbs or even a modest apartment. I’m just very fortunate that I have a good job and that I’ve made wise investments and choices with my money and the people in my life.”
Unlike her, who’d made unwise choices, especially when it came to men. And even though she acknowledged that Ian was nothing like Paul in so many ways, she knew from their earlier conversation about Audrey that he was a natural born caretaker, a man who believed in traditional values, including protecting and caring for those closest to him. The kind of man she swore she didn’t want or need in her life.
He tipped his head, studying her too intently. “Having second thoughts about tonight and us?” he asked.
He was so in tune to her, and she found it unnerving that he instinctively understood what she was thinking and feeling. She knew he’d respect her decision if she changed her mind, but she wanted this night with Ian, and she wasn’t giving it up for anything. Not even for a case of nerves. She wanted tantalizing, sexy memories to take away with her, to keep her warm at night and to replace all the old memories.
Making that conscious decision, she acted on it. Reaching out, she skimmed the tips of her fingers over the smooth, warm surface of his chest, reveling in the flex of muscle beneath her hand. “Is there such a thing as a premature orgasm for a woman?” she asked coyly, and when he lifted a brow in confusion, she explained. “After what happened in the limousine and considering how turned on I still am, I don’t think I’m going to last very long once you strip me bare.”
Heat simmered in his gaze, making his eyes glitter like rare emeralds. “It’s going to be a very long night, and since I haven’t even begun to do all the things I want to do to your body, I’m thinking we ought to take the edge off your first orgasm so you don’t come prematurely, since that seems to be your concern.” His voice was low and teasing, his grin filled with humor, but his intentions were serious, she realized, when he gently turned her around to face the window again. His long, blunt fingers toyed with the straps on her dress. “This way, we’ll be starting out even in the orgasm department before we get to the bedroom.”
Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, and desire flowed to every feminine nerve ending. With the lights off, she could see her reflection superimposed on the darkened glass, could feel the heat emanating from Ian standing behind her. “But I’m not naked,” she said in breathless anticipation, reminding him of the stipulation he’d set.
“You’re not wearing any panties or a bra.” Pulling the top of her dress down, he released her full, aching breasts. He fondled the plump flesh in his large hands and raked her sensitive nipples with his thumbs. “I’d say that’s close enough for now.”
Biting back a moan, she arched more fully into his touch. “You’re cheating?” she rasped.
“If you’ll remember correctly, I made up that rule about being completely naked the next time I give you an orgasm,” he murmured huskily, then smoothed his palms leisurely downward to the hem of her dress. She closed her eyes and sighed as he inched the stretchy material up, until it bunched around her hips and she could feel the cool air in the room kiss her feverish, exposed skin and the moist curls between her thighs. “And because I made up the rule, it’s my prerogative to cheat, sweetheart.”
She trembled, feeling that coiling tightness begin in her stomach and radiate outward, and wondered if she’d have an orgasm without him touching her at all. It was a novel thought, but at the moment she was so aroused she knew it was very possible.
She attempted to turn toward him, but before she could execute the move he wrapped an arm around her waist, splayed a hand on her belly and drew her flush against his chest. His inflamed body scorched her, from her shoulders all the way down to her thighs. His erection pressed insistently against her bottom through his shorts, and she quivered at the thought of him removing that thin barrier and taking her just as they were.
But Ian had pure, seductive foreplay in mind. “I want you to watch this time, Kerri.” He nudged her legs apart with his knee, opening and preparing her for his caress. “Look in the window in front of us,” he said, his words effectively drawing her gaze to the lush, wanton display that was her, and the large hand he pressed high on her thigh that was sliding toward the heat and heart of her. “Watch me touching you and your response to my touch.”
Entranced by the eroticism and decadence of the act, she watched, and moaned in unadulterated ecstasy as his long fingers separated the dewy folds of her femininity and stroked the slick, swollen nub of flesh hidden there. Her head dropped back against his shoulder, and she gripped his thighs for support. Her hips jerked forward, encouraging his questing fingers, desperate for more pressure, more friction, more depth. Gradually he gave her all three, making her pant shamelessly and eliciting a liquid rush of desire that made him groan, long and loud.
“God, you’re so wet, so hot,” he said, his voice a low rumble of sound that vibrated against her back while his lips and tongue found the soft hollow under her ear. “Let it go and come for me, Kerri.”
That easily she did, welcoming the deep, intense, rippling contractions buffeting her body. With a high-pitched cry and his name on her lips, she let him know that he thrilled her like no other. Her knees buckled when it was over, and she was grateful for his hold on her or else she would have dropped to the floor.
He removed his fingers and nuzzled the side of her neck. “There, now we can move this to the bedroom, without any worry that you’ll come prematurely.”
Hearing the satisfaction in his tone, she laughed lightly. “Umm, I’m definitely more relaxed and less tense.”
“Good, because I’m not done having my way with you.” He scooped her up into his strong embrace, and she gasped in surprise and latched her arms around his neck as he started out of the living room.
“Wait, my purse,” she said, and he bent low so she could grab it off the couch. She smiled sheepishly at him as he continued down a long hallway. “I brought condoms.”
“Lots of them, I hope.” He carried her through double French doors into his enormous master bedroom, which also had floor-to-ceiling windows and the same stunning view as the living room.
She took in the huge, high four-poster bed in dark mahogany, illuminated by the soft lamplight on the nightstand. “Yep, and different textures, flavors, scents and sizes.”
He placed her gently on the middle of the mattress, but remained standing by the side of the bed. “Sounds like we’re going to be very busy tonight.” He pulled off her shoes and let both drop to the carpeted floor. “Pick one for me.”
While she blindly reached into her purse beside her on the bed and retrieved the first packet her fingers came into contact with, Ian skimmed his palms up one leg and grasped the lacy band of her stocking. He removed the piece of lingerie, then the other, making Kerri burn and ache anew, which she found amazing considering the incredible orgasm she’d just had. Finally, he dragged her dress over her hips, down her long limbs, and tossed the material somewhere behind him.
“Aah, naked at last.” He looked his fill, his appreciative gaze licking across her skin in a hot, velvet caress that found and devoured every feminine, intimate swell and curve.
“Except for you.” Feeling at a distinct disadvantage, she sat up and slipped her hands into the waistband of his shorts and pushed the material down, until it fell to his ankles and he stepped out of them. He was fully aroused, long and hard and pulsing with virile life. Her sex clenched in anticipation of finally feeling all that aggressive male length deep inside her, stretching her, filling her to completion…
He reached out to pluck the condom from her hand, and she moved it out of his reach. “Let me,” she whispered, wanting to do to him what she’d never done for another man. Another first she wanted to experience with him. She tore open the package, and a rich, fruity scent filled the air.
Ian sniffed, then cocked his head curiously. “Is that…bananas I smell?”
Kerri laughed softly. “Yeah, it is.” Removing the condom, she slowly, playfully sheathed him in the snug, fragrant latex, then bent low and swirled her tongue along the plump tip. “And you taste just as good.”
A low, harsh groan escaped him, and he tangled his fingers in her hair to stop her sensual assault. Easing her back on the bed, he moved beside her, capturing her mouth in a slow, delicious kiss that made her restless and built a greater urgency to join with him. But he seemed in no hurry to end all their provocative foreplay. Her fingers twisted in his hair as his lips moved on, scattering moist, lingering kisses over her jaw, along her throat, her breasts and belly.
And then he shifted, pressing her knees apart with his broad shoulders so he could settle in between. He slid close, hooking her legs over his biceps as he went, spreading her wide and pinning her hips to the mattress so she couldn’t move. He dipped his dark head, and his hot, damp breath brushed along the most intimate part of her.
Startled to find herself in a position that gave Ian total control and left her completely vulnerable to him and his whims, she pushed at his shoulders, holding him at bay. “Ian?” her voice trembled with uncertainties. She’d never felt so exposed, and she was taken off guard by all the new and illicit sensations she was experiencing.
Gently, he grasped her hands, and weaving their fingers tightly together he locked her arms at her sides, rendering her immobile. He placed a delicate bite on the inside of her thigh that made her gasp, then soothed the sting with his tongue.
“I have to taste you,” he groaned desperately.
He said the words as if he’d die if he didn’t, and she couldn’t refuse him because she was beginning to feel the same way…hungry for his mouth on her, wild for the caress of his tongue, desperate for yet another release.
He wasted no time with teasing preliminaries. Pressing his open mouth against her, he glided his tongue upward in a deep, full-bodied stroke as slow and hot and erotic as a French kiss. Her entire body shuddered as he licked and suckled her as if she were the sweetest nectar he’d ever tasted. His tongue swirled, flicked, ravished, then thrust deep, but not deep enough when she felt so empty inside.
She tried to tug her hands free to pull him closer, but he held tight. She moaned and thrashed and heard herself beg. Heat and desire flared bright. Pleasure glowed and beckoned. Her thighs quivered from being restrained, and the sharp, spiraling need expanded within her as he continued his ruthless quest to savor, to feast, to send her over the edge.
And then she tumbled mindlessly and all she could do was cry out and arch her body, and let the explosive contractions consume her. Once the aftershocks receded, he reared up and released her hands, then lifted her left leg and crisscrossed it over his opposite thigh, bending her knee back toward her to give him greater access. Limp and boneless, she let him do as he pleased, completely trusting him with her body. He rubbed the tip of his swollen cock against her slick flesh, and with a flex of his hips he buried himself to the hilt.
He groaned in pleasure, and her breath hitched at the force and pressure and depth of his invasion, then released on a ragged moan. And then he moved over her completely, gathering her close and tilting her hips up to meet his slow thrust as he braced one arm near her head so that his fingers tangled in her hair, and rested his other palm over her breast.
Though she felt him pulse and throb where they joined, he grew still, and stared searchingly into her eyes. “Are you okay?”
Her heart turned over in her chest when she realized he was holding back for her, making sure she was comfortable and that he wasn’t hurting her. While this man claimed to be traditional at the very core, she discovered that Ian was unpredictable in the bedroom, and an expert, innovative lover that took her to new heights. The sexual position he’d maneuvered her into was not only erotic and exciting, it allowed him the tightest fit and deepest penetration, all the way to her soul, it seemed.
A surge of unexpected tenderness welled up in her. With trembling fingers, she lightly traced his jaw and dragged her thumb across his full bottom lip, still wet from her. “I like this position,” she told him with a smile. “A lot.”
“We’re a perfect fit,” he said, and a part of her wondered if he was talking about more than just the interlocking of their bodies.
And then the thought drifted out of her mind as he began to move—strong, powerful thrusts that ignited the same raging fire within her that she saw flickering in his dark, sensual eyes. His breathing grew harsh, his jaw clenched from restraint. But she didn’t want him holding back for her; she wanted his wild, uninhibited surrender.
Coasting her flattened palms down the taut muscles bisecting his back, she clenched his buttocks in her hands. Rocking against him rhythmically, she urged him further, higher, harder. The friction they created was exquisite, a slow building wave of pleasure that consumed them both and sent her careening over the precipice first. With a low, guttural growl, he closed his eyes, tossed his head back and gave in to his own shattering release.
Once he caught his breath, he lowered his head and kissed her, slowly, deeply, tenderly, conveying exactly how he felt with that show of intimacy. How much he desired her. How much he cared. And despite all that had come before, he made her tremble all over again, made her want the impossible, made her need more than was wise.
And for tonight, she knew she’d greedily take everything he had to offer.
* * *
Kerri gradually woke the following morning with a long, slow, languorous stretch, a sleepy yawn, and a contented smile on her lips. She’d never meant to stay the entire night, but Ian had been very persuasive, and she hadn’t been able to resist his tempting means of coercion.
Rolling to her side, she let her lashes drift open…and was disappointed to discover she was all alone in Ian’s huge bed. Especially since she wanted him yet again—even after a night of the most incredible lovemaking she’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
There were four empty condom wrappers somewhere, attesting to their night of wickedness, lust and the mutual desire they’d slaked. Her belly grew warm with recollections of how eager and insatiable she’d been, an enthusiastic partner to anything and everything Ian had in mind. He’d taken her in fun and playful ways, and in more erotic, uninhibited positions that might have shocked her at first, but had ultimately thrilled her. The man was an adept, generous, earthy lover—one who now knew her body more intimately than any other man in her past. And he’d been just as willing to let her have her way with him. Their lovemaking had been equal measures of give and take, and it was a novelty and freedom she’d enjoyed.
With a sigh, she reached out and touched the pillow beside hers and inhaled the musky, arousing scent of sex permeating the air, the sheets, her skin. Unexpected emotions rose to the surface, demanding her attention, demanding that she acknowledge the truth she’d done her best to ignore last night—that Ian had branded her in more ways than just physically.
Despite how she might want to neatly categorize their night together as a mutually gratifying encounter, she couldn’t deny that there had been an emotional intimacy between them that had superseded satisfying physical needs. Now that she was alone, now that the sensual glow had faded a bit and she could analyze the situation more objectively, she knew they’d indulged in more than just sex. Somehow, someway, during the night he’d touched that part of her heart she swore she wouldn’t risk again. He’d most definitely rocked her very soul the few times she’d caught him looking at her with such fierce tenderness, and a longing that echoed deep inside her.
A longing that had no business being a part of their affair.
She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched the sheet tighter to her breasts. Emotional involvement with Ian wasn’t supposed to happen, not when she didn’t have the time and room in her focused life for a serious relationship—especially with a man intent on being such a huge part of her life.
She heard a muted sound coming from the opposite end of the house, and guessed that Ian was up and about, probably making himself coffee or breakfast. The clock on the nightstand revealed that it was 9:20 a.m., and she needed to leave shortly. It was Sunday and she’d promised to visit Tori at the shelter, to check in with her and see how her week had gone. And since Tori was expecting her, there was no way she’d let the other woman down—not even to spend the day with Ian.
Dragging herself from the warm, rumpled bed, she investigated the adjoining bathroom and found it nearly as big as her bedroom in her apartment. She stepped into the spacious, glass-enclosed shower stall, turned the tap on to hot, and moved beneath the pulsating spray. She washed her body until it was pink and glowing, then shampooed her hair and dried off with a dry fluffy towel that Ian must have left out for her. Figuring that they’d swapped enough germs last night to justify using his toothbrush, she used it to clean her teeth and ran his comb though her wet hair.
Back in his bedroom, she peeked into his closet and took the liberty of choosing a worn, comfortable-looking chambray shirt to wear instead of the skimpy dress that was now folded neatly over the chair by the door. The man was obviously a neatnik. As she buttoned the thigh-length shirt, she glanced around for her panties, but couldn’t find them, or the slacks he’d stuffed them into last night. She did spy the extra packets of condoms on the nightstand and snagged one and slipped it into her breast pocket—just in case the mood struck.
She grinned wryly as she padded quietly down the hall to the kitchen, wondering when she’d turned into such a sex fiend—a wanton woman who couldn’t seem to get enough orgasms, who constantly craved Ian’s hands on her body, his mouth on her flesh and the exquisite heat of him stroking deep, deep inside her. The answer came too easily. It was Ian’s fault for addicting her to all the wondrous pleasures of lovemaking.
She entered the bright room decorated in dark blue, white and shiny chrome, and found Ian sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and engrossed in a section of the Sunday paper. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans, no shirt or shoes, and his damp hair curled around the nape of his neck. There was a certain intimacy about the situation that caused a fleeting pang of longing in Kerri’s midsection.
Dismissing the frivolous emotion, she crossed the room toward the fresh pot of coffee on the counter beckoning to her. “Good morning,” she murmured.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he greeted, folding down a corner of the paper to look at her. A warm, private smile curved his lips. “Nice of you to finally join me.”
The man was way too refreshed and cheerful when she had not yet had her first cup of coffee to jump-start her day. “I take it you’re a morning person.”
“Yep,” he said, and set his paper aside. “I’m usually up at six faithfully, though I do have to admit that I stayed in bed this morning a little longer, just watching you sleep.”
She ducked her head as she felt an unaccustomed blush stain her cheeks. There was that tenderness again, and just imagining him taking such avid pleasure in watching her sleep in his bed made her entire body tingle.
“I debated whether or not to wake you up, but figured you were exhausted after last night.” The insinuation in his deep, sensual voice was unmistakable. As was the male satisfaction. “Considering how late you slept in, I’m guessing you needed the rest.”
He’d left a mug out for her, and she added cream and sugar in the cup. “Actually, with the hours I keep at the station and how late I get home, I’m not normally a morning person at all.”
“We’ll have to work on that.” Standing, he brought his mug to the counter, placed a warm, flirtatious kiss on the side of her neck, then nuzzled near her ear. “I think being a morning person all depends on how you wake up.”
She grinned and slanted him a sassy look. “Then it sounds to me like you left the bed too early.” She wouldn’t have minded waking up to Ian beside her, over her, inside her…
He poured hot coffee into her mug, then refilled his and sweetened the brew with cream and sugar, too. “And here I was, trying to be a gentleman.”
She winked at him. “Next time, don’t try so hard.”
He chuckled. “Next time I won’t.” He settled a hip against the counter, his gaze taking in her attire as he took a sip of his coffee. “By the way, nice outfit.”
She shifted on her feet, suddenly feeling very presumptuous wearing his clothing and uncertain of her decision to do so, though he didn’t seem the least bit bothered. “I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed a shirt. I didn’t feel like putting my dress back on—”
Ian placed a finger over Kerri’s lips to silence her, seeing the insecurities that had flashed in her eyes. “I don’t mind and you don’t have to explain,” he said, then let his arm fall back to his side. “You look good in my shirt, but you look even better wearing nothing at all.”
She rolled her eyes, then picked up her mug for a drink. “You sure know how to flatter a woman.”
“It’s the truth.” Another realization struck him. Not only did she have a way of filling out his shirts, she looked great in his kitchen in the morning, and she fit perfectly into his house, his life. He kept those thoughts to himself, knowing she’d bolt if he so much as hinted at anything serious between them—despite the fact that the emotions that passed between them last night had elevated their relationship beyond a superficial affair.
“You have a beautiful body and it’s a shame that you have to cover it up at all,” he continued instead, keeping the moment light and teasing. He stroked his knuckles down her smooth cheek, loving the soft feel of her skin. “Maybe I’ll tie you to my bed naked and keep you there forever, purely for my sole enjoyment and pleasure. And yours, too,” he added playfully.
The corner of her mouth lifted in a sultry smile. “Umm, sounds decadent, but you’re gonna have to save that particular fantasy for another night.”
He was glad to hear there would be another night, and that she was up for more of the sexy, seductive kind of games they’d played last night. He wasn’t sure what to expect of Kerri this morning, given that independent streak of hers, and that’s why he’d given her time alone in the bedroom, to wake up and assess the situation without him crowding her thoughts or influencing her in any way. While he knew he wanted more from Kerri than a temporary affair, she was slower in coming around. Considering what he knew of her past, he understood. And he was trying like hell to be careful not to move too fast, or pressure her, or make demands that would send her bolting before she truly gave them a chance. That she was still here and sharing a cup of coffee with him was a huge concession on her part. Especially after all the “I really should goes” he’d talked her out of last night.
“Would you like some breakfast?” he asked, stalling for as much time with her as he could.
She shook her head. “I’m not a big breakfast eater.” She saluted him with her mug. “Caffeine is my most important meal of the day.”
“Looks like you have some bad eating habits we need to work on.” He sent her a look of mock disapproval as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out sliced and chilled cantaloupe for himself. “How about a bowl of cereal, or fruit? Or I can make you some eggs or pancakes—”
“No, really, it’s okay.” Her gaze drifted to the clock on the wall, then back to him as he filled a bowl with the fruit. “Besides, I have to leave in about an hour.”
His stomach constricted with disappointment, but he didn’t let it show. “Oh? How come?” he asked casually. He’d been hoping she’d join him for Sunday lunch at the Winslows’. “You got a hot date with someone else?” he teased.
She wrapped her hands around the warm ceramic mug as she lifted the edge to her lips and took a sip. “Yes, a date,” she confirmed, and something near the vicinity of Ian’s heart faltered until she followed that up with, “but not even close to being as hot as you were last night.”
Relief poured through him, and he had to restrain himself from taking her in his arms and kissing her senseless. “Who’s the lucky…person?” He didn’t want to assume her “date” was a guy, though the mere thought made him feel extremely territorial.
She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with her. He waited patiently for her answer, remembering his motto of No Pressure. Besides, he had no claim to her, other than her luscious body. Yet. He was still working on the rest of her, and that meant trusting her completely and giving her space if she felt she needed it.
He took his bowl of fruit to the table and sat down. “Kerri, honey, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.” The lie nearly killed him.
Another five seconds ticked by before she finally said in a soft tone of voice, “No, actually, I do want to tell you.” She joined him at the table, setting her coffee cup on the surface, then met his gaze head-on. “I’m going to the Camenson Women’s Shelter downtown.”
Confusion assailed him, before he was hit with a wave of concern when he realized that the Camenson Women’s Shelter took in abused and battered women. He lowered the piece of cantaloupe he’d speared on his fork that had nearly reached his mouth and searched her face, looking for signs of distress. “Is everything okay, Kerri?”
Her eyes widened when she realized he was thinking the worst. “Oh, not for me,” she clarified quickly. “I’m going to meet with one of the women who’s been staying there. Her name is Tori, and she has an adorable little five-year-old girl named Janet who is also under the protection of the shelter. I promised Tori I’d come by today, and I don’t want to stand her up or cancel.”
He nodded in understanding. Intrigued with this private side of Kerri, but not at all surprised by her generosity in helping other people, he asked, “Do you go there often?”
“Usually once a week, for about the past eight or nine months now,” she said, looking into the depths of her coffee cup. “I met one of the counselors from the organization at a WTLK appearance, and she told me that they’re always looking for volunteers to help out at the shelter, even if it’s for emotional support. So, I went there one day and have been visiting ever since.”
He ate a bite of the succulent fruit, suspecting there was more depth to Kerri’s story than she was letting on. He took a guess that made his belly cramp with the possibility, but he had to ask. He had to know. “Did Paul abuse you?”
She raised her eyes back to him, seemingly unsurprised by his question. “No, not physically. He never hit me…not the way a boyfriend abused my mother,” she revealed.
He digested that bit of information, and recalled a disturbing comment Kerri had made to him that night at the station: My mother never dated gentlemen. Her mother had obviously been involved in a relationship with an abusive man. Kerri had witnessed it and it had seemingly made a huge impact on her.
He speared another piece of cantaloupe and lifted it to Kerri’s lips to take. “Is what happened to your mother part of the reason why you’ve become so involved with the women at the shelter?”
She nodded and automatically took the piece of fruit and ate it. “When I was thirteen, my mother hooked up with a guy who made her all the kinds of promises she wanted to hear—of taking care of her, supporting her and even marrying her. She believed it all, and even moved us into Todd’s apartment. But from what I remember all he did was use her as his personal maid,” she said in disgust. “He’d sit in front of the TV most of the time and drink beer, and she’d wait on him hand and foot—and got verbally degraded for her efforts. But she never seemed to care because she had his attention and Todd was taking care of her. And the more he humiliated her, the harder she’d try to please him, to the point that my sister Daphne and I were forgotten most of the time. Which was just as well since I spent most of my time in my room or at a friend’s house because I couldn’t stand the guy.”
She drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly, her lips stretched into a grim line. “Then he started hitting her. At first it was a slap, which he’d immediately apologize for and swore it would never happen again. But of course it did, and each time his attacks would escalate and become more brutal. One time he shoved her against the wall so hard she hit her head and the force of it knocked her unconscious.”
He stared at Kerri incredulously, unable to believe that any woman would put up with repeated assaults. “And your mother still stayed with him after that?”
“Yeah, she did.” She traced the rim of her coffee cup with the tip of her index finger. “At that point, she’d lost one husband and had been divorced twice, and I think she was desperate to make the relationship work, no matter that the guy was a jerk. My mother was so insecure that she couldn’t see past the fact that she had a man in her life, no matter how bad he was for her.”
He nudged her lips open with another bite of cantaloupe, and she absently accepted his offering, then caught a dribble of juice from the corner of her mouth with her tongue.
“So, what happened with this guy?” he asked, resisting the urge to lap up the sweetness with his own tongue and taste her deep inside.
“When he started threatening me and my sister my mother finally started getting nervous. I came home from school one day and was on my way to my room when he made a rude comment to me that I ignored. He jumped up from the couch, stalked after me and grabbed my arm so tight he left a bruise.”
Ian watched a shudder ripple through her and felt a surge of fury rise within him for what she’d endured. He remained quiet, listening, wanting to know how everything had played out.
She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, her dark brown eyes meeting his as her chin lifted a defiant fraction. “I remember feeling so frightened and scared, but I told him he was a jerk and that I wish he’d get the hell out of our lives. My mother was in the kitchen and came out to see what was going on, and I think seeing me as the recipient of Todd’s violence finally made her realize just how bad things had gotten. She stepped between us and told him to let me go. And he did, only to take the brunt of his anger out on her.”
A pained look etched her expression. “He beat her up so badly, gave her a black eye, then stormed out, which he normally did. Knowing he wouldn’t return until late that night, I begged my mother to leave while he was gone. At first she said no, that we had nowhere to go, and I told her I’d go anywhere so long as he wasn’t there. My mother had no idea what to do. So I looked through the phone book until I found a local women’s shelter, then started packing us up. As soon as my sister came home, we were out of there.”
Ian was amazed and awed at her internal strength, even at such a young age. He saw that fortitude even now, and realized how her mother’s dependency on men, along with her own experience with Paul, had instigated that deep determination to make it on her own. It also made her very wary of trusting her own feelings when it came to men and relationships. Even when it came to them.
“We stayed at the shelter for about a week,” she continued, “and I remember thinking that all the women and kids there had suffered some form of abuse. And it was really sad to me that we’d ended up in such a place when my memories of my real father before he died were of a kind and gentle man.” She shook her head with regret. “My mother had every opportunity to turn her life around, to take control of her life and future, but she just couldn’t get past that need to rely on a man. Even after we left the shelter and moved into a place of our own, she went back to her old ways with men, though to my knowledge she hasn’t been in another abusive relationship, thank goodness.”
He silently echoed her sentiments and fed her another cube of melon. “Where are your mother and sister now?”
“The last time I spoke with my mom she was engaged to husband number five. He sounds like a nice-enough guy. Maybe it’ll last, maybe it won’t. I’ve quit holding out hope that she’ll marry for true happiness.” She sighed and rolled her shoulders. “As for my sister, she married a wealthy older man who couldn’t have children and needed a young hostess. But materialistically Daphne has everything she could ever ask for. I can’t say I’d make the same kind of sacrifice.”
Ian silently mulled over her comment. He didn’t think marriage should be a sacrifice at all, and agreed that if either party had to give up anything that was important to them then the union wasn’t meant to be. Yet he got the distinct impression that Kerri believed that matrimony meant relinquishing freedom and choices and individual interests. She’d obviously never known any differently.
She cast him a benevolent smile. “I honestly never intended to get involved with the Camenson shelter and the women staying there, not to the extent that I have, but after one visit I saw my own mother in so many of the women who were there, and I just wanted to make a difference in their lives,” she said, her voice infused with warmth and caring. “I felt a special connection to these women, and wanted to give them support and understanding.”
He held up another slice of cantaloupe to her mouth. “I think what you’re doing is very admirable.”
“Thank you,” she said softly, and chewed and swallowed the bite he gave her. “I think somewhere along the way I’ve adopted Tori and her daughter. This is Tori’s third time to the shelter in the past six months. I think she’s serious about leaving her husband this time. But she’s scared about starting over and finding a job to support herself and her daughter. I want to make sure I’m there for her, as often as possible, to give her as much support as I can and build her confidence.”
His chest swelled with pride for her. “You’re incredible, Kerri. You know that?”
She shrugged off his compliment, then stared at him, her gaze holding a hesitant glimmer of hope, and something else he couldn’t quite decipher. “You know…would you like to go with me to the women’s shelter today? It would really boost the women’s spirits to meet you in person since they all listen to the show. And I know that Tori would love meeting you.”
What she was asking was a huge step for her, he knew. Whether she realized it or not, she was letting him into a sacred and private part of her life. It was the first tangible shift in their relationship to something more meaningful and he wasn’t about to blow this chance to establish a deeper, more emotional intimacy between them. Even if it meant canceling his standing Sunday lunch with the Winslows.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” he told her before she changed her mind. Picking up the last cube of fruit with his fingers, he lifted it to her lips.
She nibbled on the juicy wedge all the way down to the tips of his fingers, which she then sucked clean. “You’re very sneaky,” she said, her voice tinged with husky nuances. “It just dawned on me what you were doing with that cantaloupe while I was busy talking. You were feeding me breakfast.”
He shrugged unapologetically. “I wanted to make sure you ate something.” Before she could think of his remark in terms of him taking care of her, he said, “C’mere and sit on my lap so I can have you for breakfast.”
She stood and took his empty bowl and their mugs to the sink, then returned, settling herself across his thighs. His groin tightened in anticipation, and he lifted his lips to hers. He kissed her softly at first, and once he gained entrance to the welcoming depths of her mouth and tasted the heat of desire and sweet nectar on her tongue, he turned ravenous. His fingers unbuttoned the front placket of her shirt, then pushed the material aside so he could lave her full, ripe breasts crowned with tight nipples.
He heard a crinkling sound from the shirt pocket and stopped for a moment to remove the foil condom packet. He grinned with lazy amusement at Kerri. “What’s this?”
Grasping his shoulders, she twisted toward him and rubbed her breasts across his bare chest, making his breath hitch in his throat and her grin with satisfaction. “That is your chance to make up for leaving me alone in bed this morning.”
He chuckled, and shifting them both, he stood and lifted her up to sit on the table in front of him, more than willing to atone for his earlier decision to let her sleep when it was becoming obvious she would have enjoyed waking up to a more real-life sexual dream. He kissed her again, hard and deep, and pushed her back with his upper body until her shoulders pressed against the hard surface of the table. With her fingers tangled in his hair and her eyes heavy-lidded with need, he began a leisurely trek downward, breathing damp fire on her neck and throat, filling his mouth with her breasts, grazing her stiff nipples with his teeth, dragging his wet tongue lower, until the remaining buttons on the shirt she wore hindered his progress. His fingers slipped and fumbled with the catch and release, frustrating him. Growing impatient, he lifted up and ripped the sides open all the way, sending buttons flying across the room and momentarily startling Kerri with the force of his desire.
He groaned in male appreciation when he discovered that she wasn’t wearing any panties, and groaned more raggedly when she parted her thighs for him and offered him a tantalizing view of her glistening, swollen female flesh. He pulled much needed oxygen into his lungs, and the aroused scent of her made his nostrils flare and his blood surge through his veins.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and her skin flushed with excitement. “Touch me, Ian,” she whispered invitingly.
He wanted that more than anything…to caress her body, to touch her heart, her very soul. If she’d just let him.
Splaying a hand on her flat belly, he dipped a finger into her navel, then dragged the heel of his palm downward, over her mound until his thumb delved through her dark blond curls and found that intrinsic, feminine part of her that pulsed as wildly as he did. She was already wet and ready, primed for his possession…and that’s exactly what he wanted to do. Possess and brand every part of her.
His restraint shattered, crashing through him in a frenzied fever pitch of hunger he felt helpless to resist. Wrenching open the fastening of his jeans, he shoved the denim down around his thighs and sheathed his fierce erection with the ribbed condom…all the while enduring Kerri’s hands stroking across his chest, and her lips and teeth and tongue doing wicked, seductive things to his nipples. Finally protected, he pushed her back down, guided himself to her entrance and watched as her tight body enveloped the hard, straining length of his cock until he was all the way home. Mesmerized by the erotic sight of him gliding in and out of her, he slowed his thrusts, withdrawing and joining again in unhurried, languid increments.
Kerri writhed her hips restlessly and locked her legs against his flanks to pull him closer. “Ian,” she moaned in frustration. “I want faster…harder…deeper.”
He leaned over her, bracing his hands on the table on either side of her head where her hair was spread out in silky, tousled disarray, and looked into her dark brown eyes. “You’re a bossy thing this morning,” he murmured teasingly, and placed a light kiss on her parted lips. “Maybe you’d like to set the pace?”
She twined her arms around his neck and grinned brazenly. “Maybe I would,” she dared.
“Then hang on.” She obeyed his order, wrapping her arms and legs securely around him. Scooping her off the table, he took a step back and sat down on the chair behind him, switching their positions so that it was Kerri straddling his lap and he was fused deep inside her. Kerri who was in complete control of their pleasure. Kerri who held him captive with her body. And judging by the sultry heat in her eyes, she liked having that leverage.
Sliding his hands down her spine, he brought their bodies flush from chest, to bellies, to thighs. Grasping her hips and rocking her closer, he drifted his mouth across hers. “Ride me, Kerri,” he whispered urgently. “As fast and hard and deep as you’d like.”
Eyes glowing with passion, a come-hither smile on her lips, she did exactly that, taking her pleasure and giving back so much more until all that restless energy between them finally erupted in a hot, scalding whirlwind of sensation. There was no holding back for either of them…not the intensity of their climax or the powerful emotions that swelled and buffeted between them.
Then and there, Ian knew he was deeply, irrevocably in love with Kerri McCree.