chapter nine
If Lucia thought Noah was relentless when he wanted something, she hadn’t seen anything. She’d seriously underestimated her best friend. She’d been dodging JJ’s calls ever since leaving work early on Friday. Normally they would have hung out or at least spoken every day but Lucia had no idea what to say to her friend. How could she even begin to explain the shit show of her life? Even thinking about explaining everything that had happened lately made her tired. Truthfully, all she wanted to do was stay in bed and pull the covers over her head.
She thought her method of dealing was working pretty well until Noah appeared at the door of their room one night holding out his phone and wearing an expression of annoyance.
“JJ is trying to reach you. Also, I have a missed call from Nonna, too. But call JJ first. She’s already threatened to cut off various parts of my anatomy if I don’t stop hoarding you.”
Even as exhausted as she was, it made Lucia smile. Noah was such a badass to everyone else but even he was a little scared of JJ. She made a mental note to mention it to her bestie since she’d definitely get a kick out of knowing she scared grown men. In JJ’s mind that would be the ultimate compliment.
Lucia sat up. “Sorry, it’s my fault. I’ve been avoiding her calls because I wasn’t sure what to say. Is it safe to tell her what’s going on? I’m not putting her in danger if I confide in her, am I?”
“I think that train has already left the station. Call her. Please.”
Lucia sighed. She knew he was right. It was way too late to worry about keeping JJ in the dark when she’d told her friend everything previously. Before she could overthink it, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand. Sure enough, she had several missed calls and two from Nonna. She really needed to call her back so she wouldn’t worry. But first she hit the speed dial for JJ’s number. Her friend answered immediately and the warm familiarity of her voice was like being enveloped in a warm hug. Lucia was startled by the rush of emotion that brought tears to her eyes.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“So, you finally decided to call me back. You shady bitch!”
Lucia laughed and pressed the back of her hand against her eyelids, holding the tears and the emotion away. “Noah made me. It turns out that he’s pretty attached to whatever part of his anatomy you keep threatening to cut off.”
JJ snorted. “Aren’t they all? Babies, all of them. But that’s not why I’ve been calling. Happy birthday!”
Shock had Lucia pulling back from the phone and hitting the calendar app so she could check the date. What? It was her birthday. How could she have forgotten that? She closed her eyes. That must be why Nonna had called twice already. Every year she insisted on singing to Lucia and baking her a cake. She’d been floating in a fog for days now, sick with worry about Rafe, where he’d been and why he’d come back now. Personal things, even something that she’d been anticipating for ages, could easily slip anyone’s mind when under this kind of stress. Which also explained why Noah had forgotten. She almost wished she could hide it from him. He would be so hard on himself for forgetting but she couldn’t blame him. They had life or death things to focus on right now.
“I had forgotten, believe it or not.”
“You forgot your birthday? But you’ve been talking about it all year. Hell, I’ve been talking about it all year.” JJ’s voice lowered until it was just above a whisper. “What is going on with you?”
“There are so many things I need to tell you. Things have been more than a little crazy around here lately.”
“Well, you can tell me tonight after you buy me a margarita. I’m totally excited now that I don’t have to get drinks for you anymore. Just kidding.”
“No you’re not.”
JJ laughed. “No, I’m definitely not. Now we just have to figure out how to get your warden on board with the plan. He’s keeping you locked up like a prisoner.”
Lucia’s thoughts went to her brother, back from the dead and with questionable motives. If JJ knew that Rafe was not only alive but had been in their office only a few feet from her, she wouldn’t make fun of how vigilant Noah was being.
He would never hurt me. Would he?
It was painful to think of her brother as a potential enemy but she couldn’t relax her guard. She’d asked him what he was doing and he hadn’t been able to give her a straight answer. Which no doubt meant that he knew she wouldn’t approve of whatever his plan was. Lucia was suddenly very afraid that whatever Rafe was planning would tear her away from Noah. Suddenly she wanted to see him. Needed to feel him in her arms one more time to make sure he knew they were real.
“Maybe I should just stay in tonight. With things the way they are, I’m not sure … ”
“Lucia, seriously?” JJ interrupted. “You’re really not going to celebrate your birthday. Your twenty-first birthday? No way, we are going out and getting you drunk.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s what I need right now. Noah would hit the roof.”
“Contrary to popular opinion, Noah doesn’t control the world,” JJ muttered.
Lucia hated feeling like this. She’d never been the type of girl who ditched her friends for a guy and didn’t want to start now. It probably seemed that way to JJ, like she was changing now that she’d hooked up with Noah finally, and the thought was all she needed to change her mind. Bad things were happening and there was nothing she could do about that. However, she could control how she responded to those things. Her response wasn’t going to be hiding away and putting her head in the sand.
No doubt she was going to have to argue with Noah to convince him that it was safe but she didn’t even care. What was the point of hiding in the house? Rafe had already proven that he wasn’t averse to breaking in to get to her. So staying home was probably counterproductive anyway.
“You know what? You’re right!”
“I am?” JJ said slowly.
“You are. It’s my birthday and I’m going out. We are going to have fun and … whatever. I’m not entirely sure on the details yet but I can’t sit at home on my birthday.”
“You’re damn right you’re not. Yay! Okay, so I’ll figure out where we’re going and then I’ll let you know so you can clear it with the goons. I don’t care if they come with us. Hell, I’ll get them drunk too. We’re going to have so much fun.”
Her enthusiasm was contagious and Lucia found herself excited about the prospect of an adventure. She would probably have a whole slew of bodyguards on her like body lotion while she danced, but at least she wouldn’t be at home feeling sorry for herself. She could only hope that Rafe wouldn’t do anything crazy like try to kidnap her while she was out.
Or maybe he would. Lucia sat up, the idea taking root.
It felt treacherous to even think about it. Noah was so worried about her and working so hard to ensure her safety that she felt like a total Judas secretly wishing to see Rafe again. But now that she’d had the thought, she couldn’t deny that she was hoping he would try to make contact with her. If she could only talk to him again maybe he would see reason. She could convince him to stop working against Noah and instead work with them. Clearly Rafe knew things that they didn’t and despite what Noah thought, she couldn’t believe her brother would ever actually hurt her.
“We are definitely going to have fun. I’ll have Noah send someone to pick you up and we can get ready here.” Belatedly, she realized how presumptuous she was being. Maybe JJ would have preferred to get ready at home. “Sorry, I’m just thinking that Noah will want us where he can protect us.”
“It’s okay; I get it. The big lug is protective of you. I like that, you know? He really loves you, Lucia. I know I give him a lot of shit but the two of you together, it’s a good thing.”
“Thanks. I like us together too.”
“And tonight you are finally going to tell me the real deal about what’s going on with you lately. Because I’m your bestie and you know you can’t fool me. You haven’t been yourself for weeks.”
“I know. You’ll get the full scoop tonight, I promise. Although once you find out everything you might wish you’d never asked.”
JJ was quiet for a minute and then said, “No matter what you tell me, you know I have your back, right? The only thing I care about is making sure you’re okay. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it the way we always have. Together.”
It made Lucia smile remembering how many scrapes and tight spots JJ had helped her scheme her way out of. But those things had been childish dilemmas, not life or death situations. There was a part of her that wished she didn’t have to involve her friend in all these crazy shenanigans but if the tables were turned, she’d want JJ to trust in her.
“Yeah, together. And it’s probably good that I’m twenty-one now because we are definitely going to need alcohol for this conversation.”
Lucia walked away from the bar slowly, careful not to spill the drinks. The very first drinks she’d ever bought legally. It had been a weird thing to just walk up to the bar and order something. The times they went out, JJ always got the drinks since Lucia hadn’t been old enough. Not that she was much of a drinker anyway. Mainly she’d just gone along to keep JJ company and to get herself out of the house. She’d always been a bit of a loner, happy to lose herself in a fashion magazine with a hot cup of tea beside her. JJ often teased her that she was the only thing keeping Lucia from turning into an old maid.
Thinking about the things Noah had done to her before they left the house, Lucia figured her friend was no longer the only thing keeping her from being old before her time. Noah hadn’t even cared that the others were in the living area waiting for them! The man was a menace. He truly had no shame. The only reason he’d stopped was Nonna calling again.
JJ accepted the drink Lucia handed her and then raised it in the air for a toast. “To my sister from another mister. Happy birthday, Lucia!”
Lucia had to laugh at the creative toast. “Aww. I love you, too. Cheers!”
JJ took a sip of her drink and then wiggled in delight. “Ooh, that’s good.”
Lucia took a sip of her own drink and had to agree. She had decided to go for something different in honor of her birthday and ordered them mojitos instead of doing shots. The sugary drink was exactly what she needed. Considering the mood JJ was in, she’d probably need the sugar in order to keep up.
When they’d arrived at the bar, she’d expected Noah to crowd them and hover like he usually did. To her surprise, he’d found a table for them and then retreated to stand against the wall on the other side of the room. Ryan was in the crowd somewhere, but she’d only seen him once. It was comforting and strange at the same time to know that they were out there watching her every move.
Her hand went to the delicate necklace resting between her breasts. After her conversation with JJ, she’d teased Noah about forgetting her birthday. It turned out he hadn’t forgotten at all but was just planning a special dinner for her. She’d felt bad about ruining his dinner plans but he hadn’t seemed to mind. He’d given her a carefully wrapped box instead which held the necklace she was now wearing. Even though he’d given her a lot of birthday gifts over the years, Lucia knew she’d always remember this one. Maybe it was because this was the first gift she’d gotten from him after knowing that he loved her.
“Okay so what’s the deal? You’ve been acting so weird all night. What did He-Man do this time?”
Lucia snorted at JJ’s never-ending litany of creative nicknames for Noah. Knowing his ego, he’d probably like the He-Man moniker.
“For the first time ever, it’s not about Noah. I’ve been having a hard time … remembering things about when my brother died.”
JJ paused with her drink halfway to her mouth. They rarely talked about the dark period surrounding Rafe’s death. That was one of the benefits of having a longtime friend: you didn’t have to explain certain things because they’d been there. JJ knew how lost and inconsolable she’d been for years afterward. She didn’t ask questions about that time because she’d been right in the thick of it with Lucia.
“I’m so sorry, Lu. Of course you’d be thinking about your brother right now. You’re an adult and it must be so hard to go through all these milestones without him here.”
JJ was quiet for a moment and when Lucia glanced over at her, she was shocked to see tears in her friend’s eyes. JJ was the ball buster, the brash, loud, fearless friend that she relied on to push her boundaries and challenge the status quo. She’d only ever seen JJ cry from frustration or anger. Even when her feelings were hurt, she defaulted to rage instead of sorrow. But there was no mistaking that these were genuine tears of sadness.
“You’re crying,” she finally said, feeling stupid for stating the obvious but still in shock to see her friend so undone. In that moment, she was able to step outside of herself and realize how hard it must have been on JJ to watch her going through all these things over the years. It would be heartbreaking on her end if something horrible happened to JJ and there was nothing she could do to help.
JJ pressed her fingers below her eyes, pressing the skin as if determined to use sheer force of will to stop any tears from actually falling.
“Of course I’m crying. I’m a shitty friend. All you’ve been saying is that you need time and want to be alone while I’m here dragging you out for drinks. All because I feel like we’re drifting apart and that scares me. This whole time I’ve been worrying about me instead of thinking about what you’re going through.”
Lucia put her hand over JJ’s on top of the table. Her friend smiled and flipped her hand over to clasp hers tightly.
“First of all, you are not a shitty friend. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. The only person in the world that I could tell that—” She stopped before blurting out that Rafe was alive again. You never knew who was listening. “—certain things without you assuming I was crazy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The relief on her friend’s face made Lucia feel incredibly guilty. She hadn’t realized how abandoned JJ had felt during this whole thing. If the roles were reversed, she’d probably feel the same way, but she’d never had to experience that because JJ had never put her boyfriends above their friendship.
“And I appreciate that you dragged me out tonight. Don’t ever let me get so boring that I sit at home on my birthday, okay?”
By the appreciative way that JJ squeezed her hand, she knew her friend was happy to take their conversation to a lighter place. Neither of them had ever been the overly mushy type and if they kept up this line of conversation they might as well be at home watching sad movies and eating ice cream.
“You got it, babe. Speaking of not being boring, let’s dance!”
Lucia tossed back the last of her drink while JJ did the same and then followed her friend to the dance floor. Noah wasn’t anywhere around but she knew he still had eyes on her; that was a given. But without seeing him it was easier to close her eyes and get lost in the music.
This is what I need. To forget everything and just be.
JJ danced around her, all loose hips and sinuous arm movements. Lucia would never be able to dance like that; her friend had more sexiness in her pinkie finger than she had in her whole body, but under the influence, she let the rhythm of the music roll through her. For one night, she could forget all her problems and just do what felt good.
Then she opened her eyes and jumped slightly. Rafe danced next to them, looking for all the world like he belonged in a nightclub.
Before she could say anything, he put his finger over his lips. She nodded and then glanced at JJ who was staring at Rafe like he was … well, like he was a ghost. Without his businessman disguise, there was no doubt as to his identity. He motioned with his head for them to follow him. He moved through the crowd easily, people parting as he walked like he was some kind of messiah. Lucia glanced over her shoulder to find JJ following behind with a dazed expression on her face.
“It’s okay. Trust me.”
JJ nodded and grabbed her hand. Together they navigated the crowd until they finally reached a set of stairs that led to the rooftop bar. It was usually roped off for VIP guests but strangely, it was completely empty.
As soon as Rafe turned around, Lucia threw herself into his arms. “Where have you been?”
From this position, she could see JJ standing off to the side, watching them with wide eyes and a what-the-fuck expression.
“It doesn’t matter where I’ve been. What matters is that I’m here now, and I’m never leaving you again.” Rafe’s words made her heart leap and then crash.
“Easy for you to say it doesn’t matter,” she mumbled.
His soft chuckle was at once so familiar that her knees buckled slightly. How many times had she heard that laugh, something he seemed to do only for her? It was a sound she’d thought never to hear again in this life. Her arms tightened around his neck until she must have been strangling him but he didn’t protest, just rested his head on top of hers.
And for that moment, he was right. Nothing else mattered.