* * *

He was insane. Not eccentric. Not unconventional. He was fucking insane. Who gives away money like that, just so someone doesn’t lend me a bed to sleep in? A bed that probably wasn’t even available. I kept running over it in my head, and it didn’t make sense. There was only one conclusion.

Rhys Thayer had lost his mind. I’d decided that during the car ride across town and cemented it in my mind as we rode up in the elevator to his penthouse apartment. The elevator only had one button. PH. This elevator was nicer than most places I’d slept over the past year. The warm wood and brass covered the entire thing floor to ceiling. There was even a mini chandelier hanging overhead.

I wondered if I could just camp out in there overnight. Being in the confined space with him wreaked havoc on me. Rhys stood perfectly still, but reminded me of a caged animal. Power poured off him in waves as he tapped away on his phone like I wasn’t there. Like he hadn’t stalked me to get me here.

After what felt like centuries, the elevator doors slid open and he stepped out, leaving me plastered against the back of the elevator. The brass handrail warming up under the death grip I had on it. But I didn’t have much of a choice about where to go. I knew the shelter proposition wasn’t going to fly and I really didn’t want to have to find a random place to sleep, so a penthouse wasn’t the worst place to end up tonight. I didn’t know exactly what Rhys had in mind. He seemed pretty adamant about my coming. Was this just for Esme?

“Don’t make me come in there and get you, Melanie,” he said, as he shook his coat off and laid it across the table by the door. I tentatively stepped out, my white-knuckled hands wrapped around the strap of my bag. I still didn’t know what I was doing here. Well, other than the fact that I would have had to sleep on a park bench tonight, if I hadn’t come with him, and the fact that he didn’t seem inclined to let me go. The hulking security guy stood beside the couch.

The patter of small feet came down the hallway and Esme launched herself into the room and wrapped her arms around me for the second time that day.

“You came!” she said, her face buried in my stomach. “Daddy said you’d be coming over today. I’m so happy!” I threw a glance over my shoulder and Rhys quirked his eyebrow at me, as if to say, he was right, wasn’t he? Did anyone ever tell him ‘no’? Lord knows I’d tried.

“Hey, Esme. How was your day, kiddo?” I asked, crouching down in front of her and tousling her hair.

“Good, really good now that you’re here. Daddy said he’d be able to get you to come, but it was so late and I didn’t believe him.”

“Your dad can be pretty convincing when he wants to be, kiddo,” I said, and Rhys chuckled before disappearing down the hall.

“Come see my room,” she said, tugging me along.

“Only for a minute, Esme. You know you’re supposed to be in bed. It’s so late right now.”

I spent a few minutes in Esme’s room, with her showing me pretty much every toy a kid could ever ask for. Her room was bigger than Jeanine’s apartment. It wasn’t until she let out her third yawn and her blinks got slower that I suggested she get back in bed. I kept checking the doorway, and had even ventured out a few steps into the apartment to look for Rhys, but he’d disappeared.

Esme climbed into bed, a book under her arm, and I tucked her in. Faint memories from a time I’d tried to forget flittered through my mind as I sat on the edge of the bed and read her the bedtime story. As I turned the last page, her soft snores made me smile. She wore herself out.

“See, you’re a natural,” came a voice from behind me. I yelped, nearly throwing the book across the room, and glanced down at Esme. She didn’t move a muscle. Rhys leaned against the doorway, shadowed by the darkened hallway. “Come with me, I’ll show you to your room,” he said, before disappearing back into the hall.

I stood up, unsure my knees would hold me, and followed him into the dark hall.

My room. A place for me. I wondered if the nightmares would follow me there.

How was I going to tell him I shouldn’t stay? I couldn’t stay. Where else did I have to go? Maybe just for a few nights, until I figured things out. As much as he thought I was a natural, I’d had to fight episodes of panic throughout the short visit I’d shared with Esme. She was so happy. So incredibly happy with everything in her room. She loved showing it to me. She didn’t have a care in the world, and my heart ached for all the kids out there like me growing up, kids who would never know this level of peace, comfort, and ease. She had more at six than I’d ever had in my entire life, except for the one year that still haunted me. It made things easier that way. Better to pretend it never happened than be crushed that it had.

Even with that jab in my gut, and pang in my chest, watching her in her own little world prancing, dancing and laughing, so happy made me smile. I pushed away my own pain and reveled in her joy. She was a great kid. A kid who deserved a lot better than me looking after her. But I didn’t know how to convince her father of that.

I trailed behind Rhys, his muted steps reverberated through me like anvils dropping. His pull made me want to lean into him, speed up my steps, until I could breathe him in. The other part of me wanted to make a run for it and never look back. I could tell he wasn’t a forgiving man and I was bound to disappoint.

He led me through a couple of turns before he opened the door in front of him and flicked on the lights. My breath caught as I stared past him into the room. The plush cream carpet looked soft enough to sleep on. There was an oversized reading chair next to the window in the corner, piled with green and blue pillows.

The floor-to-ceiling windows showcased the entire city, like a moving picture frame. And there was a new coat laying across the bed. It was purple like mine, but that was where the similarities ended. Everything about it screamed elegant, warm and comfortable.

He pushed the door open wider and motioned me inside. Cautiously, I poked my head inside. Rhys didn’t move, so I brushed against him as I made my way past. Every cell in my body was completely aware of every point of contact our bodies made. His freshly laundered smell hung in the air as I passed through his wake. I made it to the other side, nearly gasping for air, but I couldn’t push down the temptation to look back. When I did, he was so close our lips almost touched. The heat from his body against my back caused me to shiver as he spoke.

“This room comes with the job. It’s not much, but I hope it will do,” he said. His minty breath caressed my ear. The heavy, foreboding press of his body against mine made me wonder if I’d ever been around a man before. He was a man unlike any I’d ever encountered, and I didn’t think I’d ever encounter anyone like him again. The pulsing pounding raced through my body like nothing I’d ever experienced. He hadn’t even touched me, not really, and I was already addicted. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted his hands on my body, running across my skin, tickling the flesh between my thighs.

I bit my lip and put my hand against the wall to steady myself and took a step away. His heady presence was enough to make me forget everything that had ever worried me. Make me forget anything but the two of us in this room. Him standing so close to me, his eyes boring into me, devouring me. It was so easy to forget who I was outside of these walls when he looked at me like that. I couldn’t afford to forget. Things like this didn’t happen to me. Nothing good ever happened without me smashing back to earth more bruised and battered than before. I’d already had enough damage to last me a lifetime.

“I brought your bag in. Come with me and I’ll show you the rest of the apartment.” He slipped out of the room and I felt like I could breathe again. I was torn between locking the door until morning and following him wherever he wanted to take me. But that didn’t seem like a request and I had no doubt he’d be coming after me if I didn’t comply.

“Here’s the gym.” He pointed through the half glass door. A treadmill, free weights, a few weight machines and other standard gym equipment was lined up neatly against the mirrored wall. I’d almost walked past when a dancing blue light caught my eye.

“There’s a pool?” I whirled around. My eyes must have been as big as saucers. He chuckled. The sound made me smile wide.

“There is a pool. Do you want to see it?” He pushed the door open. I wasn’t even going to try to play it cool.

* * *

I sat on the edge of the pool with my pants rolled up and my feet dangling in the water, staring at the lights of the city.

“The apartment certainly has its perks,” he said from behind me, his hands shoved in his pockets. I couldn’t have imagined a place like this existed high above everything going on down in the grime of the city. The floor-to-ceiling windows wrapped around the whole apartment. I was a bird perched on a ledge outside, watching everything pass by. It certainly made the city feel a whole lot calmer. Like anyone up here was the master of their domain. Maybe that was why Rhys came across that way, so in control of everything. When you were staring down at the city street watching everyone scrambling from your tranquil perch, how could you not feel like you owned everything as far as you could see?

“Ready to continue the tour?” He held a big fluffy towel out to me. I grabbed it and dried my feet. I’d forgotten I still hadn’t seen the whole place.

Everything in the apartment fought for my attention. There were lamps with stained glass lampshades. The bookshelves were filled with leather bound books, I imagined cost more than I could make in a lifetime. The artwork on the walls looked like it belonged in a museum, and when I read some of the nameplates below a few of the frames, I saw I wasn’t far off. On loan from the MET. Who the hell could just borrow something from the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Rhys Thayer, that’s who. Every room held something unlike anything I’d ever seen, and the most intriguing of them all was Rhys himself.

Every glance, every brushed touch, every word had me on edge. The heat behind his gaze should have sent me running from the room, but it didn’t. It wasn’t like the leering of someone like Roy. Rhys stared at me like he wanted to possess me, not use me. His gaze held the promise of things I’d never experienced before, and my mouth watered to try them all. I had never had someone look at me like that. Like I was someone they couldn’t wait to get their hands on. Like someone they needed to be close to.

I just didn’t know how long it would last. Was I just a passing infatuation? Did he sleep with all the other nannies? Look at them like he looked at me? I wouldn’t believe that I was someone so special that it made him sit up and take notice. So why did I want to be near him when he had the power to destroy me with a word. I guess I hadn’t yet learned my lesson about flying too close to the sun.

I’d been programmed to be hurt. People don’t last, and he’s so far out of my league it’s not even comprehensible. Regardless, if I wanted to do this job right, I shouldn’t start it out by sleeping with my boss. But the temptation was real and raw, pounding in my chest like a signal drum of impending war. A war of the wills, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to win.

We finished the tour when he showed me to the kitchen.

“Wine?” he said, moving behind the counter.

“Sure,” I said, following him.

“No, have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the living room.

I watched him in the reflection in the glass, the city lights surrounding him, making him seem even more like a mirage. He moved efficiently around the kitchen, opening, and closing cabinets and drawers. He knew where everything was. I imagined he’d have a staff crawling all over this place, taking care of his every whim but other than the guy who drove us to the building, I hadn’t seen anyone else in the apartment. Every so often he caught my eye in the reflection and held me pinned there, in his skin-tingling gaze, until he decided to break the connection. His choice, every time. Each time he looked away I had to remember to breathe again. Remember my name. His gaze lingered, and it was like a fiery embrace wrapped around me, my skin singed by his vision.

“Here you go,” he said, holding out a glass of chardonnay. He hadn’t even asked what I liked. How did he know I hated red? My hand wrapped around the cool, smooth glass, momentarily brushing against his, and that energy that pulsed between us remained unspoken, but I knew he felt it.

I turned and mumbled a “Thank you.” Keep it together, Mel. Keep it together.

“What do you think?” he asked, walking over to the couches and sitting, stretching long legs out in front of him, and his arm out over the back. He was sin, wrapped in a mixture of masculinity and refinement. How many other women found themselves treading water in the wake of his power?

“This place is amazing,” I said, taking a gulp of my wine and sitting in a chair across from him. My leg nervously bounced up and down and some of the wine sloshed onto my hand.

“It serves its purpose. And about the job? You start tonight.” he said, his eyes on me as he tipped his crystal tumbler back, sipping the dark amber liquid inside.

“I…I still think you’re making a mistake. I don’t think I’m going to be able to give Esme what she needs,” I said, apparently trying to talk myself into homelessness. The urge to say yes sat on the tip of my tongue, but every time I looked at him I forgot my name, forgot to breathe, and forgot how to talk. And I knew this would send me down a path from which, I might never recover, a path where the world was spread out for me on a platter and then snatched away. I knew where I’d end up. More bruised, battered and even more shattered than when I started.

“Esme has the best teachers, tutors and other specialists she could ever need. What she doesn’t have is someone she feels comfortable enough to talk to, and be as free with as I’ve seen her be with you. For now, that’s all she needs,” he said, leaning forward.

“There are some things in my past,” I said, taking a sip of wine.

“I know. I’ve already read your file. There’s nothing in there that concerns me.”

“But—” I said, trying to decide how I felt about that. He’d already had me researched, dissected, and analyzed. It made sense, a man like him didn’t make an offer like his, to come live in his house, without vetting someone first. I wondered how deep that research went. Did he know everything about my past?

“There is nothing in there that concerns me, Melanie. Don’t worry so much. And I took the liberty of calling the diner. You won’t be going back there,” he said, taking another drink like he hadn’t just taken away the steadiest thing I had in my life.

“What the hell? I didn’t say I’d take the job. I didn’t say I wanted to quit the diner,” I said, jumping up. It wasn’t his place to interfere in my life like that.

“You didn’t have to. It’s not like you’ll have the time, if you’re going to be with Esme.” I took a deep breath. It was a shitty job, but it was still the only job I had. I rubbed my hand against my temple. This was insane. He was insane. Swirling his drink around in his glass like he didn’t have a care in the world, and he didn’t, did he? He held the power, and I was fucked, and not even in the way I’d like to be. What choice did I have now? I didn’t have a place to live, a job or any money.

For now. This was a temporary situation. I could handle him—for now. Keep him at bay—for now. At least knowing I was on shifting ground would make it easier to prepare for what happened once everything fell out from under me. Maybe I’d be able to grab onto the ledge when the time came, and save myself. I cleared my throat. Better get down to business if I was walking into this ring of fire.

“How much does this job pay?” I plopped down in my seat, resting my elbows on my knees. I took a sip of my wine to draw his attention away from my shaky hands. Rhys stared at me for a few seconds, an assessing look that made my stomach clench. He grabbed a piece of paper and pen from the coffee table, his hand flying across the notepad.

He got up and stood in front of me, my eyes level with his shining belt buckle. He held out the piece of paper between two of his fingers. He flicked them up and down, waiting for me to take the paper, and I imagined those two fingers inside of me doing the same exact thing. My pussy throbbed as I glanced up at him and took the paper from his hand, careful not to touch hm. I unfolded it and choked on the sip of wine I had in my mouth. The wine burned on its way down the wrong pipe as I hacked and coughed. Rhys took the glass of wine from my hand and gently patted me on the back.

“Per month,” I wheezed, as he thumped my back.

“Per week,” he said, chuckling. I’m sure I looked like I was having a fit. He handed my glass back and I chugged the contents. This could change my life. Even if I only stayed for a few months, I could finally catch the break I’d always needed to do things with my life. Maybe go to college, find a nice place to live. Living a life, instead of running from one. Forever caught in the trap I’d been stuck in since I was born.

“Okay. I’ll take it,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, gazing up at him. He took a step closer, still towering over me, the hungry look back in his eyes, causing the wings of hundreds of butterflies to go crazy in my stomach. I licked my suddenly dry lips. He briefly closed his eyes, tipping his head back.

“Thank you, Melanie. You’ve made me very happy,” he said, his hand coming up, meeting the side of my face. I hated how making him ‘very happy’ made me very tingly inside. I wanted him happy. I resisted the urge to nod my head like a good little girl. He’d come into my life, turning it upside down and disrupting the sliver of normalcy I’d created, but I wanted his approval. I felt it deep down, like his existence wasn’t as perfect as I’d imagined. Every so often I caught a glimpse of him, the real him. His rawness didn’t come from a life of perfection. He had cracks and he let me see every single one.

His hand hovered an inch from my skin and I ached to rest my cheek against his palm. To savor his hands on me, in a way beyond a polite interaction. Then he dropped his hand completely, holding it out for me to shake. I slid my hand into his and the second our skin touched I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble. Because the energy that pulsed between us wasn’t something I could deny for long, and from the look in his eyes, I don’t think he wanted to, either. It was a force that threatened to consume me.

I’d been through so much shit in my life, I was ready to finally make a choice about which ledge I leapt from. I’d been pushed off a cliff so many times before I even had my footing. This time I knew exactly where I stood—at least I hoped I did. I could already tell the fall from Rhys’ cliff would hurt more than most. It would be from so much higher than I’d ever dreamed of diving, but I knew no matter what happened, my life would never be the same.

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