As much as I wanted to run out to purchase a ring and secure its place on Cora’s finger, that task didn’t prove to be as seamless as I believed it would be. I’m not sure what I thought it would cost, but I hadn’t anticipated choosing between a diamond and a down payment on a home. She was worth every penny, but it had to be the perfect ring to invest that kind of money. And thus far, it felt like I’d been to every jewelry store in town and left empty handed. At the end of the day, I couldn’t tell anyone what I had in mind—I just knew I hadn’t found it.

Cora hadn’t made an issue out of getting engaged; in fact, neither of us had even mentioned it since we’d left Chapel Hill. We both assumed we’d be together forever…her parents weren’t around, and our only family already shared an apartment with us. So while the notion was always at the forefront of my mind, everyday life took precedent over conquering that goal.

I’d missed the chance at Christmas, and in what seemed to be the blink of an eye, Cora was dealing with exams at the end of her first year of grad school. All she talked about was engineering and class. Every bit of free time we had was spent driving to places around the city or the state to enhance her knowledge. Her excitement fueled my own, even though her desire wasn’t in marriage or starting a family—she was chasing a career. And I respected that.

“Oh my God, where’s James?”

I was in our bedroom when I heard Cora burst into the house like her ass was on fire. Her voice had been filled with excitement and not panic, so I wasn’t surprised when she came racing down the hall and launched herself onto the bed next to me. When she finished bouncing from her weight hitting the mattress, she crawled across me, straddled my hips, and placed her palms against my chest to sit up.

“You’re not going to believe what happened, today!”

Her enthusiasm was as contagious as her grin. My hands naturally gravitated toward her hips. She leaned over to grab the remote and turned off the television before giving me any insight to what had her flushed with anticipation.

“Dr. Parker got me an internship for the summer at Halifax.”

“The engineering firm in Manhattan?” The company was enormous and recognized worldwide for their modern design. They focused on commercial property, and their buildings were like works of art in a city skyline.

“Yes! And even better, it’s for Drake Halifax—one of the managing partners. I’m dying. I still can’t believe it’s real.”

I leaned forward and took her face in my hands. Smiling against her lips, I murmured, “I’m proud of you, sweetheart.”

“There were over two thousand grad students considered from all over the country. I have no idea how I managed to land it over all those other people, but who cares, right?”

“You don’t have to interview for it or anything?” Not that I thought anyone would have beaten her out for the spot if they’d met her in person.

“I kind of already did. Part of our final was the presentation I’ve been working on. They were streamed on the school’s website, and I guess he saw it. I don’t know. Even if it’s a divine twist of fate, I don’t care. It’s freaking Halifax!”

She hopped off me as quickly as she’d found me. “What am I going to wear for my first day? Do you think I should go shopping? I don’t really have the clothes for a professional work environment. This guy could be the key to my future after graduation, James.”

Everything seemed to be falling into place. Cora had been apprehensive about coming to New York to begin with, but if she could firmly believe this was where she was meant to be, there wouldn’t be any remaining questions about our moving forward. Not that there were now, but she’d followed me from Geneva Key to Chapel Hill and then New York. I needed her to find something in those decisions that made them right.

“Why don’t we go shopping this weekend? When do you start?”

“Monday.” She rifled through the closet, the hangers sliding on the bar as she sifted through her wardrobe. “Really?” She peeked her head out. “You’d do that?”

“Absolutely.”

***

It was funny how everyone else’s life was falling into place, and mine suddenly seemed to spiral out of control. I’d all but forgotten about the incident earlier this fall. I’d hired an attorney in hopes of getting out of the DWI charges, and he’d assured me he’d take care of it. For what I paid him, I allowed him to carry the weight of that stress and hadn’t thought about it since.

“James Carpenter,” I announced when I answered the phone in my office.

“James. Scott Brawley.”

“Hey.” I wasn’t interested in the pleasantries of conversation when I paid this guy by the quarter of an hour. He needed to get to the point in the next fourteen minutes.

“Got a couple options for you.” He acted like I was buying a car, not my background check. Being in the financial industry, my record needed to stay squeaky clean—any mark could cause a backlash for the company.

“Lay it on me.”

“No one wants to bother taking this to court, which plays in our favor.”

“I’m listening.” I wondered if lawyers took courses on how to run down the clock without ever saying anything of substance in order to pass the bar.

“One hundred and sixty hours of community service and pretrial intervention. After that, you can pay to have the charge expunged from your record. Or, a ten-thousand-dollar fine and PTI.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You consider those options? I’ve paid you close to that and could have gotten the exact same results six months ago.”

“I’m sure you’re frustrated, but the state could take your license, and if they chose to be hardasses, jail time could be tacked on. So while the options might not look like much, they provide you with an opportunity to keep the incident off the record.”

There was no way I had time to work off weeks’ worth of community service. “I guess the fine.”

“I’ll send you the paperwork. You’ll need to get the payment to the court by the end of the month.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

After we hung up, I glanced at the clock and groaned in frustration, wondering how that handful of words had taken seventeen minutes of Scott’s time. I was hemorrhaging money as it was—his bill only added to the shitstorm. I’d had to dump a sizeable sum into the business, I’d finally broken down and bought a diamond—even though I didn’t have a setting to put it in—Cora and I were covering more than our half of the expenses at the apartment, and now the state demanded a mint.

For the first time in all the years we’d been together, I didn’t feel like I could talk to Cora about my anxiety. Not because she wouldn’t have listened…I just didn’t think it was fair to burden her with the financial state of the business while she was on the high of a lifetime at Halifax. She was heading to Paris with Drake in a couple days and had been dancing around the apartment since she’d started the internship. I loved her too much to bring her down.

That left me with Neil to confide in, yet he was already aware of the financial constraints and that I was pouring money into a business that he couldn’t match. He was only taking enough of a salary to survive, which was how Cora and I had ended up supplementing the household expenses.

Cora thought it was Hannah who wasn’t coming through on the rent, not Neil. When she mentioned Hannah’s tuition costs, I let her believe that was the issue because Hannah didn’t have a trust fund, and I didn’t want my friend to feel any worse than he already did.

I’d known that by taking over a business, we ran the risk of a downturn before an upslope, yet the value of an established name with existing clients had been more appealing than a startup in an already overpopulated market. I believed in what we were doing, and I had faith in Neil as a partner—we just had to turn things around to remove a layer of gloom looming over us. We talked about it in terms of the business and what to do there, and the rest was left unspoken. I saw the shareholder loans on the books—Neil was keeping track of what I put in versus him, and I would get it all back. I just had to make it ’til then.

“Hey, James. How was work?” Cora met me at the door and kissed my lips.

Either I’d gotten really good at disguising my mood, or she’d totally lost her ability to read me.

“Long. Glad to be home. You?”

And my day continued downhill.

“Great actually.” She held something back.

“But?”

“Drake got a lead on another prospect in Paris, so we’re leaving earlier than planned.” Her meek grimace said more than her words.

I set my stuff down and took off my tie. It had been the week from hell, and the only thing that had gotten me through it was the thought of spending the weekend wrapped up in Cora. If they left any earlier than Monday, it would cut into that time.

Her lips thinned just before she tugged her bottom one into her mouth. “In the morning.”

Part of me wanted to explode, although that wouldn’t change the circumstances or her departure; it would only diminish the few hours I had before she went halfway around the world with a man she admired and the ladies chased.

“Wow. That’s soon.”

“Yeah,” she whined, and then her mouth turned down into a pitifully cute pout. “Please don’t be upset.”

“I’m not upset.” Lie. “It’s a great opportunity.”

As much as I wanted to act like things were okay and yammer on about her trip, I didn’t have it in me. Exhaustion took over just after she set the alarm in the bedroom and told me Drake was picking her up in the morning so I didn’t have to drive her to the airport. Hopefully, when she came back in two weeks, I’d be in a better headspace, and she would have had the trip of a lifetime.

When she returned fourteen days later, she dropped another bomb I wasn’t expecting. Drake Halifax offered her a paid position under him that would start when the fall semester did. She would get course credit for her work with them and still finish her master’s degree on time, so in her mind—and I guess logically—it was the best of both worlds. Except the days of her managing her own schedule had gone completely out the window with her acceptance.

“What did you tell him?” I was a tad put off that he’d made this proposal in the City of Love, but that was just me being a jealous prick.

“I told him I needed to discuss it with you, and I’d give him an answer on Monday.”

“Does that mean it’s actually open for discussion?”

“Sure. Although I can’t think of a single reason you’d object.”

“It’s a huge time commitment. You’ll have a job on top of a demanding curriculum.”

Cora wrapped her arms around my neck and cooed in my direction while smiling and staring into my eyes. “Aww. You’re worried about me?”

I rolled my eyes and pulled her arms from my body. “You need to think it through and not make a decision about how glorious the job would be based on spending two weeks with the guy in Paris.”

Obviously, her decision had been made long before she’d ever brought up the topic.

***

When relationships shift, the person being left behind starts to notice the nuances of how things have changed. And the subtle differences ate away at me with regard to Cora. I’d always been her number one, we’d done everything together, made every decision as a couple—or so I’d thought. When I looked back on the two major ones, she’d followed me both times. It hadn’t been about what was best for her; I hadn’t considered what she’d needed—just how it would have impacted me not to have her around.

Cora now had a life I wasn’t involved in. Between work and school, she’d become just as busy as I was, and coupled with my schedule, we almost never saw each other. When we did find a few moments alone, all I heard about was how wonderful Drake Halifax was and all the plans he had for her career—none of which were in New York.

“He’s considering me for a new office, James.” She squealed with delight.

“Drake?”

The way she rolled her eyes reminded me of a child who thought I’d said something dumb. “Of course. Who else?”

“That’s awesome. How soon is he talking?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, I haven’t even finished my degree.”

“Yeah, but that’s only a few months away. Is he thinking right after graduation, or does he have a plan to groom you into a position.”

Cora continued folding laundry while she talked, and I put them away as she went. Luckily, it provided me the opportunity to shield my expression.

“Oh, there would be other people in the office. But it would be a huge stepping stone.”

“I’m sure it can’t be as great as having the legendary Drake Halifax mentoring you.” I was sure he was a great asset to her career, though something about him bothered me. It might have been the green-eyed monster that lingered on my shoulder, constantly telling me to watch my back.

I lurched forward when a pillow hit me from behind.

“What was that for?” I turned sharply to see a smile on her face and the glimmer in her eyes.

“You’re jealous.”

“Am not. If he can further your career, that’s great.” I didn’t believe a word of any of that.

“He’s taking me to a benefit with him next weekend. James, do you have any idea how big this could all be for me? This man produces greats. And for whatever reason, he chose me.”

It made me a dick to think he’d chosen her for her physical assets and not those that could benefit his company. Drake was notoriously single, and while he didn’t do it often, when he did take a female under his care, he took them all the way under. I’d read the stories and seen the reports. I’d even listened to the female who’d accused him of inappropriate behavior in exchange for that one-on-one attention—right before she’d agreed to a hefty out-of-court settlement along with an air-tight non-disclosure.

This guy was trouble in my world whether Cora saw it or not. He took far too much interest in her for it to be so casual. Picking her up, escorting her places, taking her to fancy dinners in the name of charity. It was all great, but in my opinion, he should have been taking a date, not my girlfriend.

In my mental tirade, I’d slid right over the fact that she’d said next weekend. “Cora, we’re supposed to go with Hannah and Neil to see Elton John next weekend.”

She stopped what she was doing and came back to me. Putting her hands on my hips, she stared up with her neck craned. “James, I can’t turn my boss down.”

Normally, I would have caved, but I’d spent a fortune on these tickets and had been looking forward to an actual date with my girlfriend. Penciling time onto the calendar had gotten old. “Yes, you absolutely can. I can’t believe you didn’t realize you already had plans.”

Her lips met the side of my neck, the one that made me weak with her touch. Although, this time, I pulled away. I wasn’t letting this one go so easily.

“Don’t be that way. We can go see Elton John another time.”

“Oh yeah? Like when? It’s not like he tours annually, Cora.”

I hated fighting with her, but I was holding firm. She was going to have to pick. I wasn’t giving her an out and letting it go. I’d done it countless times since she’d gotten back from Paris. At some point, I had to stand up and hold my ground.

“James, it’s a concert. This is my future.”

“I remember when I was your future,” I grumbled the words under my breath as I turned away, not realizing I’d said them loudly enough to be heard.

Her hand snagged my belt loop. “What?”

“Nothing, Cora. If that’s what you want to do then so be it. I realized months ago how little you care about how your decisions affect us.” It was a low blow—one I shouldn’t have taken.

Her face dropped and what had been excitement that lifted her cheeks earlier now weighed heavy in her expression. “That’s not fair.”

“The truth’s not always nice, but the truth is still the truth.” I just couldn’t stop myself. Even though I was saying things that would elicit an argument, the filter on my mouth seemed to be on sabbatical. And it dawned on me that not only was I trying to goad her into a fight, it felt good to have her direct any emotion toward me—even if it were negative. We’d been on autopilot for so long, I’d forgotten what passion felt like.

“How about this for the truth? I’ve never been with anyone else, James. No one. You’re it. And when we met, I was in a vulnerable place that you happened to land right in the middle of. Losing my parents wasn’t all I lost that year…I lost myself.”

I stared at her taking deep breaths as my heart thundered in my chest, and the air I sucked in whistled past my slightly parted lips. My eyes narrowed while I wondered where she was going with this.

Her hands dropped to her sides in tightly balled fists that turned her knuckles white, and her jaw clenched just before she swallowed hard, and then she opened her mouth to speak. “I lost the fire I had inside me, the do or die, the stop at nothing, the leap-and-soar mentality—all of which were who I was at the core before I left that concert. Never would I have followed some guy to college, much less back to New York—”

The whistling stopped and my lungs burned with the breath I held. There was no way I’d let her pin her decisions on me. “You made a choice, Cora.”

“You’re absolutely right. I did. I made a choice to go to Chapel Hill. And another to follow you here. And now I’m making a choice to follow my dream.”

“No one says you have to choose. I’m just wondering when we get back on the same path. When the us becomes as important as the when. When we decide that we have to have the happily ever after we’ve promised each other.”

“We’re not even engaged, James. It’s pretty hard to keep making life plans based on a fairy tale that I seemed to have conjured up in my head.”

“You wanted to wait until after graduation!” I hollered in her face, somehow making my lack of moving forward her fault. I had the stone, I had just never found the ring. Maybe that was just some twist of fate that was destined to keep us apart. Or maybe it was me stalling. Or maybe it was me not being certain this was right. It seemed no matter which way we turned, another obstacle moved in front of us. I couldn’t dodge them all, and she’d quit trying.

“Undergrad, James. That was almost two years ago. We’re twenty-four years old, and we’ve been together since we were seventeen. At what point do you know it’s right? Because if you haven’t figured it out by now, then maybe there’s nothing to figure out.”

I jerked my head back, not believing what she said. “Is that what all this is about? The fact that I haven’t proposed, yet?”

Her chin dropped to her chest, and a melancholy sigh escaped her lips. I waited in silence, unsure of how to proceed. The words we were dancing around were heavy and life changing. And something I never thought the two of us would consider.

“That’s just it, James. There never should have been a timeline. When it was right, it should have just been right. Don’t you think?” The resignation in her voice, the loss of fight…it sent up bigger red flags than the words out of her mouth.

I stomped over to my dresser and pulled out the top drawer. Digging through the socks and boxers, I found the velvet box. But when I presented it to her, it had the opposite effect I’d assumed it would. Instead of the smile returning to her pouty lips, or the glimmer dancing in her eyes, I’d sealed my fate.

“What’s this?”

“The diamond I bought months ago to put in your ring.” I knew where this was about to lead, and no matter how hard I tried to think of words to draw us away from it, my mind went blank.

“What happened to the ring?”

“I couldn’t decide on one. And then I decided to have one made.”

“Hard for a jeweler to make a ring when you have the stone in a box in your underwear drawer.” Her voice was soft and defeated. When she handed me the box back, her teeth worried her bottom lip—she was about to throw my life completely off course.

“We’ve both had a lot going on, Cora.” I was desperate for her to see how much I loved her, to feel the depth of my emotion in the way I looked at her. Except when I met her stare, all I saw was sadness.

“Exactly. If it had been a priority, you would have made it happen.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed, and I took a seat next to her. I didn’t want to be the one to speak next. Words would be messy, and I wasn’t sure I could handle anything she had to say.

“I’ll always love you, James. Maybe our lives are just going in different directions. Maybe we need to follow our own paths to see where they take us. One where you’re not inhibited by having a shadow, and one where I’m free to follow a path I might have to walk alone.”

I slowly bobbed my head, unsure of how to get her to reconsider without pleading. “This doesn’t sound like it’s open for discussion any more than the benefit Drake is taking you to next weekend.”

“Don’t you need to breathe? Just a little? Try things out—spend time in a new city as a single, adult male?”

“No, Cora. I don’t. Since you walked into my life, I haven’t had any desire to live a day without you. I dropped the ball on the ring, but that didn’t mean you weren’t and haven’t been my top priority. I guess I always thought everything I was doing, I did for us—our future.”

She inhaled through her nose and released the breath through her mouth. “Maybe the best thing for our future is to spend some time apart.”

And that was it, she’d chosen him over me.