From: avagracewentworth

To: heartofgold

HOG,

Want to exchange photos?

AG

From: heartofgold

To: avagracewentworth

AG,

How about we exchange some other things first? There is still so much I want to know about you.

Favorite song?

Favorite food?

Favorite place?

Favorite person?

I’m not trying to be difficult, but I’ve been hurt before. This time, I want to get things right.

HOG

From: avagracewentworth

To: heartofgold

HOG,

I get that. It’s just not totally fair. You know who I am.

Still, I’ll play nice. Mostly because I’m a nice person, lol.

Favorite song? Hands down, Jon Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer. I want this song played at my wedding one day as I walk down the aisle with my husband. Some may think JBJ is cheesy AF—but I unabashedly think he’s the greatest. He married his high school sweetheart for goodness sakes! And he’s like fifty and can still rock leather pants. That’s damn cool.

Favorite food? My grandpa Bill’s chili. He died about five years ago, but he made award-winning chili. I have his recipe and make it every year on his birthday. But if I were to go out to eat in Denver, my favorite place is an Italian restaurant called, Little Mia Mia.

Favorite place? This might sound seriously weird... but I love ice-skating. Sometimes I go on a weekday morning when the rink is empty, and I skate for an hour, probably embarrassingly bad—but I don’t care. I feel like an ice princess, making circles and figure eights. Also, it’s a workout. So, there’s that.

Favorite person? While you’re inching up my list, Grandpa Bill has a special place in my heart—he believed in me in ways no one else ever has. He was the person who taught me how to make my first piece of jewelry.

We’d go to his shop and he taught me how to use a soldering tool. In his will, he left me enough money to start my business. He was a widower for most of my life, and I never met my grandma, but his love for me taught me that what real love means. When he died, he was buried wearing one of my rings.

So, you must answer those questions too, and then answer these for me:

What are you doing for Christmas? (It’s in a few days you know.)

What is your address? (I want to send you your Christmas gift.)

Do you have plans for New Year’s Eve? I don’t. We could meet when the ball drops...

AG

From: avagracewentworth

To: heartofgold

HOG,

It’s Christmas Eve and I haven’t heard from you in days. Did I do something wrong?

Maybe asking for your address is too personal, but telling you all about my hopes and dreams is personal too.

Hope you have a good Christmas.

AG

From: avagracewentworth

To: heartofgold

HOG,

Well. It’s NYE. You haven’t written me for two weeks.

I know we don’t owe one another anything, but I don’t understand you. My sister told me to block your email because I opened up to you and then you just dropped me. And the truth is, it hurts. A lot. People always say I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I always chose to take it as a compliment. But now I just feel like a fool.

AG

From: heartofgold

To: avagracewentworth

AG,

Sorry I didn’t write for so long. I didn’t intend to hurt you. You are not a fool. You are funny and tender and too fucking good for me.

I should admit I didn’t know what to say when you asked for my address. I wasn’t ready to go there yet.

And I’m still not.

But I don’t want to lose you. Can we try again, backing up to a place that doesn’t make me run?

Favorite song? Let It Be by The Beatles. Speaking of people, we’ve loved and lost: my mom died when I was young. She sang that song when she washed the dishes, swept the floor, chopped vegetables for dinner. It was her mantra. I wish I could make it my own, but I am nowhere near as easy going as she was. My thoughts get the best of me. It’s near impossible to turn off the noise. That is something I admire in you. You come across as someone who is always present.

Favorite food? Hands down, my homemade mac and cheese. It’s the one thing I can cook and cook well. Comfort food at its finest.

Favorite place? The mountains. No question.

Favorite person? You. The only problem is, I know I may have fucked things up beyond repair.

Have I?

I wish we’d been together when the ball dropped at midnight on NYE. I would have kissed you.

HOG

From: avagracewentworth

To: heartofgold

HOG,

I’m not going to lie. Seeing your reply in my inbox gave me butterflies. I wanted to kiss you on NYE too, but I should be honest, I always go for unavailable men. Men who refuse to commit. To me.

I’m not doing that anymore.

Things are over between us.

I need a man who understands that my heart is fragile. That it has been broken so many times before.

I get the impression that this is a game to you.

But it’s more than a game to me.

It’s my life, and I’m sorry, but you can no longer be in it.

Ava Grace