“T.J.?” Vaughn’s head popped up over the branch of the tree that she was sitting on. “Are you cryin’?” he asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

T.J. sniffed and tried to stop the tears, but they wouldn’t quit rolling down her face.

Vaughn hoisted himself up onto the branch where she sat against the tree trunk and balanced himself next to her, swinging his legs as he sat.

“You didn’t wait for me after we got off the bus. I’ve been trying to catch up with you for the last half mile.”

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed in a small voice.

“What’s the matter? Did you get hurt?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I don’t wanna say.”

“But you have to tell me or I can’t make it better,” he pleaded.

“It’s okay, it’s not your job to make it better.”

“Yes, it is,” he said indignantly. “That’s what best friends do. That’s what I’ll always do for you.”

She sniffed and looked up at him from under her lashes. Sometimes, like now, looking at Vaughn made her tummy do little somersaults.

He picked up her hand and held it as he talked. “I, Vaughn Rexford Jenkins, do hereby declare that as Theodora Jayne Brisco’s best friend, I will always do whatever is necessary to make her feel better.”

T.J. giggled, and suddenly the mean things Davey McCoy had said to her didn’t matter nearly as much.

“Now,” he continued. “Tell me what made you cry.”

She told him, and he listened solemnly. She knew her name was weird. Her parents had expected a boy, and when she came out instead, Theodore Junior turned into Theodora. That was why she used T.J., but Davey had peeked at the teacher’s attendance screen where everyone’s full names were listed. Then he’d used it to start picking on her. She hated being Theodora sometimes.

Vaughn helped her down from the tree and walked her home. “You know all that stuff he said isn’t true, right?” Vaughn asked as they reached the gate to T.J.’s driveway.

“Yeah,” she answered as she kicked a rock on the dirt road. “But it still hurt my feelings.”

“Everyone hates Davey anyway,” Vaughn said. “Do you want to use the radios later and talk before bed?”

“Yeah.” T.J. grinned. Nothing was more fun than playing cowboy with the ranch radios in the dark in bed. They loved it so much, their parents had gotten extra handsets they could keep in their rooms and they used their own special channel to talk at night.

“See you later, T.,” Vaughn said as he turned to walk back down the road.

“See ya,” T.J. answered, skipping through the gate on her way up the driveway, all sorrows forgotten.

The next day at school, Davey McCoy had a black eye.

* * *

“Seriously, dude, you have to wear boots,” Ty admonished as he walked into the kitchen and looked at Vaughn’s feet.

“You ever tried to get a cowboy boot off a prosthesis?” Vaughn asked, pulling a beer from the fridge and popping the top off on the bottle opener mounted on the side of the cabinet.

Ty shook his head. “We’ve got boot jacks. I’m sure one of those would do it. Plus you can take the leg off—it’s not like you’ll have to sleep in the boots.”

Vaughn took a long pull on the Fat Tire. The annual Big Sur Boots and Brews dance was one of the town’s biggest social events. Everyone from toddlers to their great-grandparents attended. There was food donated by the farms and ranches in the county, microbrews from craft breweries up and down the Central Coast, a local band that played country staples, dancing that went on for hours, a bake-off, and always a couple of romances that either started or ended at the event.

And before Vaughn’s accident, it had been the one night of the year that he’d never gone home with a one-night stand. No, Boots and Brews had always been his and T.J.’s night. After they’d gotten past that first year in college and started tentatively speaking again, they’d agreed to meet at home for the Boots and Brews. It was the first time they’d seen each other in months, and the first real test of their post-breakup friendship.

They’d danced. For hours. Sneaking beers from Ty and Cade because they weren’t twenty-one yet, and taking breaks from the two-stepping and line dancing to laugh with friends from high school they only saw a few times a year. They’d finally been them again, just without the sex, and while he still wanted her with an ache that nearly burned him up at nights alone in his dorm room, he knew he couldn’t do that to her, so he’d settled for the friendship, and he’d had so much fun at Boots and Brews that first year, it had almost convinced him he was doing the right thing.

“You have to wear boots,” Cade said as he walked into the room holding hands with Nina. He was in jeans, a black Henley, and a pair of black shit kickers that Vaughn knew had to be older than their niece, Katie.

“I already told him,” Ty answered.

“You two are conformist idiots,” Vaughn scoffed. “I don’t have to wear boots, do I, Nina?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s called Boots and Brews…” Her voice faded away, and she grimaced.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Fine, but when I can’t put the leg back on tomorrow because the boot’s stuck on it, one of you assholes can figure out how to fix it.”

“Done,” Cade said. “Now go change out.”

“Where’s Katie?” Nina asked as Vaughn walked out of the kitchen and headed to his room.

He couldn’t hear the answer, but by the time he got back to the kitchen, Katie was ensconced on Nina’s hip and the two of them were whispering secrets to one another and giggling.

“You ready?” Cade asked, tipping his chin at Vaughn.

“Yeah. Who’s driving?”

“You can come with us,” Ty said, taking Katie from Nina. “Katie bug’s convinced you’re going to drink beers, so you shouldn’t drive.”

“Are you, Uncle Vaughn?” Katie asked as she held his hand and they walked outside, crossing the parking circle to Ty’s SUV. Behind them, he could hear Nina giggling as Cade murmured something to her on the way to their own truck. He smiled to himself. Seeing his oldest brother so happy was a nice change.

“I just might drink some beers, Katie bug.”

“Then you can’t drive,” she decreed.

“You’re right, and I won’t.”

“That’s why Daddy never drinks beers,” she said, sounding very wise. “He has to be able to drive me places like ballet.”

They piled into the car, and Vaughn turned to watch Katie in the backseat and make sure she got her seat belt done up.

“Your dad is a very responsible guy,” Vaughn observed, grinning at Ty’s profile in the driver’s seat next to him.

“Yeah, you should try a little of that sometime,” Ty muttered.

“I’m very responsible,” Vaughn argued. “I pay all my bills on time, I clean up after myself at meals, I do all the work Cade tells me to—”

“Yes,” Ty deadpanned. “You make a very responsible teenager.”

“Well, I’m responsible about everything I’m given to do. I’ve been learning all the sh—uh, stuff—Cade wants me to know. What else would you have me be more responsible about?”

From the backseat, Katie giggled. “Uncle Vaughn keeps saying bad words.”

Ty winked at her in the rearview mirror.

Vaughn sighed and leaned his head back against the leather seat.

“I saw T.J. the other day,” was Ty’s response. Vaughn got the message loud and clear. He just grunted, refusing to take his brother’s bait.

“Why doesn’t Auntie T.J. come anymore, Uncle Vaughn?” Katie asked.

“Yeah,” Ty chimed in. “Why doesn’t Auntie T.J. come around anymore?”

“T.J.’s busy,” Vaughn told Katie, throwing Ty a dirty look at the same time. “But she’s helping me with rehab again. She’ll be around soon, I’m sure.”

They turned onto Highway 1, the PCH, heading into town. Boots and Brews was held at a hobby farm the town and school had purchased together. The school used it for agriculture education; the town used it for special events.

When they pulled into the dirt lot at the entry to the farm, Vaughn couldn’t help but look for T.J.’s little VW. He didn’t see it, and that frustrated him more than he wanted to admit.

Inside, he and Ty made their way to the food and drinks. Once Ty had loaded up a plate for himself and Katie, they sat at one of the tables that bordered the dance floor. Vaughn stood in line at the bar and watched as couples danced, weaving in and out among each other, young and old, some friends, some lovers, some brand-new acquaintances.

Vaughn finally got up to the bar, grabbed a bottle of Carson City Cream Ale, and made his way through the crowd toward Ty’s table. He was only about halfway there, doing the careful movement through crowds that ensured he wouldn’t take a tumble, when he looked up across the dance floor and straight into T.J.’s eyes. His heart thudded to a halt for a moment as he took her in from head to toe.

She’d worn a sweet flouncy top that sat just off her shoulders, exposing all that silky skin that contrasted perfectly with the aqua silk. It was tucked into skintight jeans that shaped her hips and strong thighs before ending up snug inside a pair of well-heeled cowboy boots with aqua accents that matched the top. Her hair was loose, flowing in a shiny curtain over her shoulders and more than halfway down her back. She blinked at him a couple of times, and he could tell that while she wanted to turn away, she wasn’t able to.

She was the most beautiful thing Vaughn had ever seen, and all concerns about his leg and the crowd were forgotten as he began to work his way through the meandering partiers to get to the other side of the dance floor. He kept an eye on T.J., who seemed to be there with Janelle. They stood with some of Ty’s old classmates, chatting as Janelle waved her arms around and T.J. stood silently watching him get closer and closer to her.

When he was finally within shouting distance, T.J. murmured something in Janelle’s ear and moved away, heading toward the back doors that led to the patio. Janelle was in an animated discussion with the group that faced her, and didn’t even notice Vaughn as he worked his way past them and followed T.J.

When he finally reached the glass doors, he slipped outside, eyes scanning the large flagstone patio and adjacent gardens for a sign of her.

“Do you remember the year we had the bonfire out here with the Andersons?” Her voice came from behind him in the shadows next to the doors.

He slowly turned just in time to see her take a few steps toward him. He froze, something in her expression tugging at him in an entirely new way. It was resignation, defeat, acceptance, and he wasn’t sure what to do or feel with it.

“I remember,” he answered, his voice strangely hoarse.

She took a tentative step closer. “I watched you while you were sitting there with Karen Anderson on your lap, and all I could think was, ‘Why? What’s wrong with me? What do she and all the others have that I don’t?’”

His gut clenched, and he started to reach a hand out to touch her, but she brushed past him, heading toward the gardens beyond the patio. He followed, hands stuffed into his front jeans pockets, head dipped in shame.

“T.J.?” he called softly as they got midway down one of the paths enclosed by ornamental cherry trees.

She stopped and turned to face him. “Did you know that I was such a fool, I thought when we got back after college, things were going to be different? I thought the time apart, the four years of maturity, the distance from your parents’ deaths—all that would mean that you’d want us to try again.”

He nodded slowly. Of course he’d known, and he’d chosen to ignore it, so terrified of failing her that he’d held her at bay instead, placing other women between them like flesh-and-bone barricades, using human beings to deflect from his own inadequacies.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m—was—an idiot. An asshole who deserves whatever you throw at me.” He paused. “Including you saying you don’t want to see or talk to me again.”

“So give me one good reason why I should,” she countered, her eyes shiny in the moonlight.

He stepped forward, into her space, not touching physically, but definitely encroaching in every other way—emotionally, spatially. He raised a hand, the impulse to touch her nearly overwhelming, but he stopped just shy of stroking one of those shiny strands of inky hair.

“I know you were about to get rid of me for good before the accident. I’m not blind. I saw it coming. And I knew I was going to have to man up. You have no reason to believe me, but I swear to you, I was going to. It’s one reason I was so determined out there in the storm that night. I had spent all day looking at the land on the eastern edge of the ranch thinking about places we could build a house. I thought if I could bring that part of the herd in safely and on time, I’d be in a good position to ask Cade to let me have them to start our own place.”

She gasped, her hand covering her mouth as her eyes grew big.

Now he did touch her, stroking his index finger down her jaw and then her neck, ending at her shoulder, where he began to finger the ends of her hair, his eyes foggy with lust as he murmured to her.

“I had a rough plan, and I hoped that it might convince you to forgive me.” He chuckled bitterly. “I have a hell of a lot to ask forgiveness for.”

She sighed, her body still tense, although she swayed toward him as if a magnet was pulling on her.

“But then the accident happened, and when I was lying there in the hospital, all I could think was that I’d never be able to take care of you now. I wouldn’t be able to manage an operation or keep up with the physical demands of our own ranch. I want to be a man you’d be proud of, T., not one you feel sorry for.”

She dipped her head so that the crown was under his chin. He kissed it softly.

“But I’ve realized something in the last few weeks,” he continued. “I don’t care why you give me another chance, just that you do. If you’ll come to me of your own free will, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I’m just going to spend the rest of my life proving that you made the right choice.”

She gasped then, her gaze darting up to his, and as their eyes locked, his heart hammered so hard, he was certain she must be able to hear it.

He cupped her cheek in his big palm and worked to pour everything he felt into his words and his touch. “I love you, Theodora Jayne. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life—including my parents and my brothers. I love you more than those other men can. I love you more than my own happiness. You are in charge here, you decide what happens next, and I will abide by it no matter what, because I love you enough to want you to be happy, even if that’s without me.”

She made a small choking sound, and he bent to press his lips gently to hers. “So what do you say, T.? Is all that enough of a reason?”

* * *

T.J.’s heart pumped as if she’d run a marathon. And it hurt, ached, and burned in a way that mere exercise would never cause. Vaughn’s presence was everywhere, choking her reason and her ability to defend herself. He filled her senses—his smell, his heat, his pretty, pretty words. She knew what Janelle would say—words were the easy part. Not once had Vaughn ever been able to fulfill the promise of his beautiful words. But T.J. knew that wasn’t true either. He’d been unwavering in his commitment and loyalty to her for the first eleven years of their relationship. Then he’d faltered briefly, in what most would consider a pretty ordinary teenage mistake. And when they’d finally gotten together at that winter ball, he’d been absolutely devoted, the best boyfriend any girl could wish for.

No, Vaughn’s problems with commitment and follow-through had definitely not started until after his parents’ deaths. The question was whether the earlier version of him was still in there. She’d held on to hope that he’d reemerge eventually, but he’d given her plenty of reason to believe that day would never come.

But now, standing here listening to his pretty words, seeing the anguish in his eyes, feeling the urgency of his touch, T.J. was tired. Tired of hoping and waiting and being disappointed. Tired of dating Drew and wishing he was someone else. Tired of missing the other half of her soul.

T.J. simply wanted. Wanted to stop worrying, stop needing, stop missing. T.J. wanted Vaughn, and she was pretty solidly convinced that was never going to go away.

So, she let her heart have its way, just this once, and she looked up at him from under her lashes. “I don’t know if it’s enough of a reason for a lifetime, but it’s enough of a reason for right now.”

“T.—”

“Shh.” She pressed her fingers over his lips, the heat and feel of his skin sending a rush of arousal to her core. “I don’t want to argue or think about it anymore. I just want you.”

He gazed at her, and she could feel him trying to puzzle it out. But he wouldn’t be able to, because she couldn’t even herself.

She reached down and lifted his hand in hers, bringing it to her breast. She laid his palm over her aching nipple. “Please,” she whispered. “I can’t think anymore. Make me feel like only you can.”

There was a moment where all the breath seemed to rush from his body, then he was on her in a flash, his lips hot and demanding as he nipped and licked at her mouth before plunging his tongue inside, caressing her teeth, tasting her deep and long. One of his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, bringing her up on her tiptoes. He was hard—everywhere—and she couldn’t help but groan when she felt him press against her stomach.

“Want you, baby.” His hands roamed up and down her form, restless with an energy that she felt sparking all over her body as well. “But not here,” he growled before he pulled away and grabbed her wrist, tugging her behind him as he made his way deeper into the garden.

They wove around on the various paths, going farther and farther from the barn, the dance music fading away behind them. Then she saw it looming ahead of them, the greenhouse that the facility used for seeding and wintering plants.

When they reached the glass structure, Vaughn wiggled the door handle. It didn’t give way, so he pulled on the window next to it that opened out, top down. He managed to get it pried wide enough to slip his hand in and unlock the door. He turned and grinned at T.J., who gave him a nervous smile in return.

Once they were inside, he relocked the door, then stood staring intently at her. Her heart raced. He was beautiful, his sandy hair a tumbled mess, falling over his sharp-cut bones and scruffy jaw.

“Are you sure?” he asked, watching her with liquid heat in his gaze.

No. Of course she wasn’t. But it no longer mattered. She couldn’t be away from him any longer, no matter what the repercussions.

She nodded somberly, and he reached for her, pulling her forward, then spinning them both so that she was backed up against a potting table. The rough wood dug into her lower back, but she hardly noticed because his lips and hands were everywhere. Stroking, caressing, licking, nipping. He lifted her onto the wood table, putting himself in the vee between her legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he tugged the elastic-trimmed neckline of her top and revealed her shoulders and breasts. She paused to take her arms out, and then he was looking at her bare but for her strapless bra. He stroked her shoulders and upper chest, his touch reverent, his gaze searing.

“Sometimes when I look at you, it physically hurts, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, watching the path of his finger as it continued exploring her bare skin. “After we broke up, I used to lie in bed at night and imagine what your breasts felt like in my hands, the weight of them, their heat.”

“Mmm,” she moaned as he slid his finger under the edge of her bra, coming just shy of touching her hard nipple.

His voice grew ever huskier as he reached behind her and unclasped the bra, tossing it behind him on the floor.

He palmed both of her breasts at once, gingerly testing them, squeezing, kneading, running his thumbs across the aching tips.

With one arm around her waist, he dipped her back so that he could wrap his full, hot mouth around her nipple. He sucked hard, and she cried out, her hands digging into his hair. God, it felt so amazing, she wouldn’t be surprised if he could make her come just from that alone.

His other hand found the seam of her jeans, and his thumb pressed into her clit, causing sparks to shoot up and down her body, silver, white hot, diamond sharp.

She knew that all this was a stupid mistake on her part, knew that he wouldn’t stick, not like she needed him to, but it was also inevitable, preordained, utterly inescapable. So she decided that tomorrow would be tomorrow and tonight would be tonight. She would give in, just this once, to the constant yearning and longing that had controlled her for so many years. Just this once, she would banish the loneliness that had been her always companion since Rex and Sophia Jenkins died and some part of Vaughn died with them.

He slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped his hand down the front, groaning when he reached the hot, slick center of her desire. He kissed her neck, her jawline, her eyelids, murmuring how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much he’d missed her. And it made her heart hurt, because she knew it wouldn’t last. It never did with Vaughn. But this time, she was going in with her eyes wide open, letting him slice into her and rip out her heart with his bare hands. This time, she knew exactly what she was getting into, and she was doing it anyway.

Because she needed him just that much.

“T.J.?” His voice dragged her out of her self-recriminations.

“Yeah, right here,” she answered, sitting up more so that she could reach the button and zipper on his jeans.

“Are you sure about this? We don’t have to do this tonight. We have all the time in the world now. We can take things slow if that makes you feel better.” He kissed her on the nose, his smile so stunningly gorgeous, she nearly sobbed from seeing it. “I’ll court the hell out of you if that’s what you want. Make me work for it, baby. I don’t mind.”

She shook her head. No. There wouldn’t be any courting, because if she didn’t do this tonight, he’d probably be gone by morning. Well, he’d be gone by morning no matter what, but at least this way, she’d have one last piece of them to cling to, one moment with him as she was now, not an adolescent memory.

“Just do it,” she whispered as she undid his pants and pushed them down so she could see his cock, hard and smooth against his abs.

His brow furrowed, and he started to answer her, but she wrapped her hand around the shaft and gave a firm stroke, and he dissolved into incoherent swearing. She circled the head with her thumb, spreading the lubrication there and making him slick with his own desire.

“God, baby, get those pants off,” he hissed.

She complied, and then she had her legs wrapped around his waist as he stood in front of her where she sat on the table. He pulled her clear to the edge so that he could line up.

“Condom?” he asked, running his nose up her neck and nipping at her ear.

“Pill,” she whispered back.

“I haven’t been with anyone—”

“Shh. I’m not worried,” she answered.

“I’ll always take care of you, T.,” he told her sweetly.

She nodded and then kissed him, hard and deep, and before she knew it, he was inside her, filling all the emptiness that had been there for so damn long.

He began to pump, slowly at first, almost leisurely, but his pace quickened when she begged him in a thready voice, “Please, Vaughn, please take me there.” So he pumped in and out, hard and steady, and she felt the tension coiling tighter and tighter, felt his heart beating alongside hers, their breaths in tandem, their bodies melded together. Then when she thought she’d never reach that glorious crest of release, he stopped moving and gazed into her eyes. That was all it took. She came apart at the seams, her entire world narrowed down to this man, this moment, this feeling that she knew she’d never have again.