“God, I love you.”

T.J. giggled lightly in the moonlit field where they lay in the back of his pickup truck.

“Do you think our parents know we do this?” she asked.

He tried to listen to her as he skated his lips across her throat and down to the cleavage that peeked out of the v of her button-up shirt, but his brain was short-circuiting every time he touched her creamy skin.

“Mm,” he mumbled, pushing the fabric aside and licking the top of her breast.

She giggled again, and he palmed one of those luscious mounds, squeezing it as he moved one leg between her thighs and pressed on her core.

“Ohh…” She made this sweet gasping noise, and his dick turned hard as concrete.

“Tell me you love me too,” he whispered into the night.

Her laughter stopped, and she held his head between her hands, bringing his face up where she could look into his eyes.

“You know I do.”

“Say it.”

“I love you, Vaughn.”

His heart thumped hard, and he kissed her lips softly. “I love you. Forever, T. I’ll love you forever, no matter what.”

* * *

T.J. took a shaky breath as she turned away from Vaughn and made her way to the table Janelle had grabbed for them.

Someone upstairs apparently wanted her to be miserable, because that was the only explanation for putting Vaughn directly in her path on the night of her debut. Yes, tonight was the night T.J. took her life back after six years of waiting for Vaughn Jenkins to get his shit together and come back to her. She was dressed up, she was meeting a new guy, she was here to dance and drink and laugh and pretend, at least for a little while, that her heart wasn’t so broken she’d never be whole again.

She’d done it all with Vaughn—been friends, lovers, estranged, friends again. And it didn’t work. She couldn’t have him in her life anymore. He was going to break her for good if she kept it up. The pain she felt watching him as he made his way through most of the single women in the area was bad enough, but add in the way he would freeze her out every time he hit a major speed bump in his life… Well, it equaled out to something she couldn’t bear anymore.

And it was time for T.J. to learn to take care of T.J.

“Hey, chickie!” Janelle squealed as T.J. finally reached the table. “I want you to meet a friend of mine from college. Drew, this is T.J. T.J., Drew.”

T.J. turned to him and was pleasantly surprised. Tall and dark, his white teeth flashed in a movie-star-quality grin as green eyes sparkled at her. “Nice to meet you,” he said in a husky voice.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” She smiled. He might not be Vaughn, but he wasn’t bad.

“Well, let’s get drinks!” Janelle chirped like a proud mother bird.

Drew flashed T.J. an amused look that said he understood Janelle and her machinations.

“So, where do you live?” T.J. asked.

“Seaside, actually,” he answered. “But I work from Monterey south to San Luis Opisbo, so I’m around Big Sur quite a bit.”

“Oh, what do you do?”

“Drew’s a doctor,” Janelle piped up proudly.

T.J. tried not to laugh, and Drew’s eyes said he was struggling as well.

“So…you’re a traveling doctor?”

He laughed. “Actually, yes. I’m on contract with Central Coast community health clinic, and they can’t afford to have a full-time doctor at every location, so there’s a nurse practitioner at each of the clinics, and then I spend a day or two a week at each one on a rotating basis.”

“He’s a doctor and a good person,” Janelle added helpfully.

Drew leaned over and murmured in T.J.’s ear, “I’m not actually that good.”

T.J. felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she met his gaze.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked.

Her heart sped a touch. The band was playing an old Sheryl Crow song, slow and sweet. It had been a long time since anyone had held her in their arms. Then she reminded herself that this was the new T.J., and the new T.J. deserved to be held, deserved to be wanted.

“Yeah, I would like that actually,” she answered. And then a tall, sexy man led her to the dance floor, and she tried hard not to think that it wasn’t the right tall, sexy man.

* * *

“Dude,” Ty whispered in Vaughn’s ear. “You’re going to have to quit staring or else go do something about it.”

Vaughn tore his eyes away from the sight of T.J. locked in another man’s arms. His blood was boiling, and there was a strange buzzing noise in his ears that wouldn’t stop.

“What would you suggest I do?” he asked. “She told me we’re done. She’s not my friend anymore. I have no right to interrupt her date.”

“Yeah, you’re not her friend—and news flash, you never were. You’re the love of her life just like she’s yours, and everyone for a hundred damn miles knows it.”

Vaughn shook his head as he nursed his beer. “Not anymore.”

“He still moping?” Cade asked, leaning over from across the table.

Vaughn glared at him.

“You’re going to fuck this up for good, dude,” Cade warned.

“We talking about the whole T. J. Brisco deal?” Gavin asked, walking up with a tray full of new beers. Cade and Ty both nodded.

He set it down in the center of the table and lifted one in a toast. Ty and Cade also grabbed new bottles, and Vaughn raised his half-drunk one.

“To our very own T.J. finally being back on the market. The men of Big Sur thank you, Vaughn.”

Cade choked on the swallow of beer that was halfway down his throat, while Ty spit some of his on the table with an “Oh shit!” attached.

Vaughn slammed his bottle down on the table, causing it to foam and spill out the mouth.

“What the fuck?” he asked, standing and squaring off with Gavin.

Gavin put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, just calling it like it is. Every single guy I know—well, and some who aren’t single too—has been talking about T.J. since she came home from college. I can’t help it if she’s hot and sweet and smart, dude. You’ve made it pretty clear you’re not interested. You can’t expect everyone else to keep hands off too.”

Vaughn felt the jolt of adrenaline hit his system hard. He was so angry, he forgot that with him sporting half a leg, Gavin could undoubtedly easily kick his ass. Instead, he jabbed a finger in Gavin’s face. “Don’t fucking talk about her like she’s a thing to be passed around. And don’t talk like I’m not still in the picture. I will always be watching out for T.J.”

“As her friend?” Gavin asked, amusement in his expression.

Vaughn’s gaze fell on T.J. and the guy who were on what must be song twelve. How long could two people dance anyway? The asshole’s hands slid from her waist to her hips, heading toward her ass. Then he leaned down, brushing his lips along the hair next to her ear, and she molded her body closer to his.

“Fuck being friends,” Vaughn hissed before he turned and stomped toward the dance floor. As he left, he might have heard Gavin say, “Too much?” and Ty answer, “No, man, it was perfect.”

* * *

“Excuse me?” Vaughn tapped T.J.’s dance partner on the shoulder. The guy left his hands all over T.J.’s ass but turned to give Vaughn a lazy smile.

“Yeah, hey…” He raised an eyebrow in question.

“Mind if I cut in?” Vaughn asked, but not really.

“I’m afraid that’s up to the lady,” Asshole responded, stopping and looking at T.J. Her eyes grew round like a deer’s trapped in the headlights for a moment, and then she pasted on a smile and ignored Vaughn.

“T.J. Please?” Vaughn pleaded.

The asshole looked from one to the other, his hands slowly sliding off T.J.’s hips.

“T.J.?” Asshole asked, looking concerned. “What would you like to do?”

Then, before either man could say another word, she spun on her heel and bolted for the bathrooms.

“Fuck,” Vaughn muttered as he took a step after her.

“Hey, I didn’t get the impression she wants your company,” the asshole chimed in as he put a hand on Vaughn’s arm.

Vaughn’s gaze dropped to where the guy touched him, and his anger intensified fourfold. His hand itched to curl into a fist. The desire to feel flesh giving way beneath his bones was a living, breathing thing. His nostrils flared, and something in his eyes must have given him away, because the guy removed his hand and took a small step back.

“Look, I don’t know what I walked into, but until T.J. tells me to take a hike, I’m going to continue my evening with her.”

Vaughn just shook his head. “Yeah, you do that.” Then he turned and headed back toward the restrooms, suddenly even more desperate to find her.

When he arrived in the small dark hallway outside the bathrooms, there was no sign of T.J., but Jaycee was there, hip propped against the wall next to the women’s room.

“She’s in there.” She jabbed a thumb at the door. “You’re looking for T.J., right?”

Vaughn scratched his head, all kinds of awkward settling in now that he wasn’t watching T.J. with another man.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered.

“I figured. She looked upset, so I knew it had to involve you somehow.”

What the hell?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“Oh, come on, Vaughn. You know you drive her crazy. Hell, everybody in town knows you drive her crazy.”

Okay, he was not going to discuss the woman he loved with a woman he’d fucked. Something about that just seemed…wrong.

“Are you waiting for the bathroom?” he asked, his tone sharp and impatient.

Jaycee shrugged. “I was going to freshen up my lipstick.”

“Why don’t you use the men’s room, then. It has a mirror too.”

“But it’s so interesting right here.” Jaycee smirked, and Vaughn glared at her. “Fine,” she huffed, pushing off the wall and making sure to brush her chest against Vaughn’s as he stood there waiting for her to leave.

“But remember, my offer’s always open, hot stuff. All the personal Jaycee therapy you want. And I won’t pitch a fit and lock myself in the bathroom.” With a toss of her long auburn hair, she was gone, and Vaughn stepped to the bathroom door and leaned his head against it.

“T.?” He spoke into the wood of the door. “Will you please come out?”

He listened for a moment, hearing nothing, then knocked lightly. “T.J.? Come on. We need to talk.”

The door suddenly swung open, and he stumbled forward, his hands landing on T.J.’s waist as she glared at him with eyes that scorched him down to his very bones.

“Leave. Me. Alone,” she hissed, giving him an ineffectual shove.

“No,” he growled back, advancing and forcing her into the tiny bathroom. He reached behind him and shut the door, clicking the lock down, while keeping his other hand firmly planted on T.J. He had her trapped now, between a door, him, and a sink.

“Vaughn, I’m serious—”

“I know you are,” he said softly, watching her as her breath came in short, frustrated huffs. “And normally, I’d let you have your way, but not like this—not—”

“Not what?” she gritted out, her eyes flashing in the low light of the confined space.

And it was confined. A toilet, a sink, some tile. He could feel the heat from her body, smell the citrusy perfume that rose from her flushed skin. And he could hear every one of those little breaths, the kinds of breaths that he remembered she used to take when he was inside her, filling her, stretching her, driving her insane with want.

She made a noise, a squeak, and he saw her eyes flash with the same awareness he was having. It was T.J. and him, alone, touching, breathing each other’s air, feeling each other’s pain.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should never have said that to you the other day. I didn’t mean it. You’ve been the one thing that’s kept me going all these weeks, and I’ve fought you at every turn. You didn’t deserve it, and I promise I’m done being a dick.”

“You’re sorry for the other day?”

“I am.” His fingers dug into her hip just a fraction, and he saw her swallow.

“What else are you sorry for?”

Oh hell, something about that question sounded dangerous. He knew he had a lot to apologize for, but he needed to get the right thing or she’d have his balls for supper. He hadn’t seen T.J. this angry in a very long time.

“I’m sorry for all of it. Every angry word and asshole remark. I’m sorry for everything I’ve said and done around you since the accident.”

“Since the accident?” The pitch of her voice rose, and warning sirens went off in Vaughn’s head. “That’s great, Vaughn, because you’ve been a total asshole since the accident. But you know what? That I at least understood. That I could explain. You had something awful happen, and the rest of us can’t ever fully understand what that’s been like for you. But the thing is? That’s not what I need you to be sorry for.”

What? He shook his head slowly, trying to follow what she was telling him. But that damn perfume of hers was making it harder and harder to concentrate. His cock was aching, his head was swimming, and all he could focus on as she talked was her lips, not her words.

“What do you need me to be sorry for? Whatever it is, I am. But let’s go back to being us, T. You and me. Not some dipshit who thinks he can touch you on a dance floor when you’ve only just met.”

And that was when she slapped him.

The crack echoed around the tile surfaces of the room, and Vaughn’s hand went to his cheek in response. He saw a flash of pain cross her face, and then she shoved him away, squeezing around him as she went for the door.

“Fuck you, Vaughn. Seriously, fuck you. Go back to being us? You mean the us where you screw every woman within fifty miles and then text me afterwards? You mean the us where you run off every guy I try to date and lead me on with movie nights where we cuddle but never kiss, or dances where you hold me close before you leave with someone like Jaycee?”

Vaughn felt his face flush, and his gut roiled with nausea. Even though he’d been doing it for years, it had never seemed as heartless and sick in his own head as it did hearing it from her lips.

“You know what I want you to be sorry for? It’s not the last eight weeks. It’s the last six years. We were in love, Vaughn, do you remember that? Or has it completely slipped your weak, self-absorbed mind? We were in love until the day your parents died and then… You. Left. Me.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and his heart shriveled a little as he reached out to touch her again, trying to soothe her wounds, make her understand something that he himself could barely process.

“T…”

She gazed at him, and for just a moment, she opened up, let him see everything right there in her big, beautiful eyes, and it was like a hoof to the heart, something that punctured the shell he’d erected so many years ago.

“I want you to be sorry you broke my damn heart. And you never have been,” she told him sadly. “So I have to move on. And you have to let me. I’m lonely…and you’re never going to change.”

His hand fell to his side as she turned the knob, but she paused, her head cocked his direction, almost as if she were waiting to hear what he might say. But he only dropped his gaze, because he knew she was right. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. She deserved only the best, and no one as fucked up as him could give that to her. So now he needed to step aside and let her fly, whether it was with the asshole waiting outside, or some douche they’d all yet to meet. Either way, she’d be better off than she would be with him.

She shut the door quietly behind her as she left, and he stood there alone, in a cold, dark bathroom, what was left of his leg throbbing almost as painfully as his heart.