Armand yawned and stretched, his bed creaking as he rolled over and sat up. The room was dim, early dawn light struggling to creep through the blinds he’d closed the night before. Still half asleep, he ambled over and raised them, then cranked the window open letting the still cool morning air into the room. It chilled his flesh and he shivered, but it helped dissipate the cobwebs of sleep that still entangled his brain.
Yawning again, he scratched his chest then pulled on a pair of jeans before heading downstairs to make a cup of tea. While waiting for the water to boil, he finger-combed his hair back from his face and dug an elastic out of his pocket to hold it back before finding a mug, honey and the cream. He performed the routine on autopilot just as he did every morning, slowly waking with each act he performed. Once the tea was ready, he went out the back door, cup in hand and sat down on an old wooden chair. Propping his bare feet on an old log that served as a foot stool, he took a sip of the restoring brew and sighed.
He loved mornings; the scent of a new day filling his lungs, the sounds of nature drifting through the air. In the distance a cardinal was chirping and, if he listened carefully, he could hear the frogs in the muddy slough near the edge of the forest. It would be at least half an hour before a car travelled the road in front of the Broken Antler. Ruth and Al would be the first ones making their way to the diner and a short time later Ryne’s truck would trundle by as he headed to the auto shop. The town would slowly awaken, filling with trusted friends and neighbours.
But before any of that happened, he savoured the solitude while surveying the small square of land that could be loosely termed his backyard. It wasn’t much; a few clumps of wild flowers that had seeded themselves around the foundation of the building, a weathered wooden fence that delineated where the parking lot ended and his space began. It was sufficient for him though, with enough room for his vegetable garden, and that was all that mattered.
The seeds he’d sown over a week ago were starting to sprout, tiny seedlings pushing up through the soil, promising a bountiful harvest in exchange for watering and weeding over the summer. Robins hopped between the rows looking for dew worms while in the far corner a rabbit was munching on a dandelion.
“That’s fine for now, but once the lettuce is up, you’re not allowed in.”
His words rumbled through the tranquil scene and the rabbit sat up with a start, ears twitching and nose wiggling before it scampered away. He made a mental note to bury the fencing deeper so the critters stayed out.
He finished his tea and was about to head inside when he heard a vehicle pulling into the parking lot. A few seconds later, there was the sound of a door slamming and footsteps crossing the gravel.
“’Morning!” Ryne appeared, the wooden gate creaking as he pushed it open.
“Good morning, my friend. I’m surprised to see you in town this early.”
“Yep. I’m off to an early start. The men in the pack had a bake-off last night and we have cookies coming out our ears. Melody and Olivia have me delivering them this morning before they eat them all themselves.” He handed over a container.
“Give them my thanks.” He opened the lid and sniffed appreciatively. “Who was the winner of the event?”
Ryne followed him inside. “Me.”
“Vraiment? What did you make?” He chuckled at the mental image that came to mind.
“I called them kitchen-sink cookies. I grabbed every ingredient I could think of and dumped them all in together. Chocolate chips, pecans, cherries, coconut…you name it.”
“Are there any in here?” He examined the contents of the container again.
“Sorry. They went pretty fast. Half the pack is suffering from a sugar hangover this morning.”
He smiled as he listened to Ryne relate the story. The pack was like an extended family and often had impromptu events like bake-offs and picnics, hikes or game nights. Bears were not pack animals but there was a wistfulness inside him as he considered how nice it would be to have a family.
Setting the container down, he automatically checked his phone where it sat on the counter. A smile formed on his lips. “There’s a message from Lucy.”
Since the baby’s birth, she had maintained contact, sending him images of the child and notes about his progress. She’d also included a few personal comments directed to him, asking how he was, relating simple events in her life. He was proceeding cautiously but it felt like they were slowly reconnecting.
What that connection meant he wasn’t sure. Was it because he was the father of her child? Was she hoping for more money? A cynical person might assume so, however he’d already put paperwork in place that had support payments being deposited in her account to cover her expenses.
In his heart, he hoped she was reaching out because she missed him, yet he hardly dared entertain that thought. Could he handle a long-distance relationship with her? Seeing her for a weekend now and then would be like scraps when you hungered for a feast. And then there was Caleb who was half shifter and would need guidance when his inner animal awoke, especially given that his mother had no knowledge of it.
“And no doubt another picture of Caleb.” Ryne nodded tolerantly. As the only ones who knew of the child, he and Melody were being shown each image and told every bit of news.
“Of course.” Paternal pride had him turning the phone so Ryne could see it.
“He’s growing fast.”
“She says he’s gained half a pound.” He turned to view the image again.
“When are you going to take a trip to Chicago to see him?”
He looked up from his examination of the picture. “I’ve not been invited yet.”
“Maybe you should just go.” Ryne leaned against the counter in his usual negligent pose.
“I’ve thought of it.”
“But…?”
“I’m still considering the pros and cons. My relationship with Lucy is complicated, as they now say.” With one last look at the image, he set the phone down.
Ryne snorted. “If it were me, I’d haul my ass there, throw her over my shoulder and drag her home.”
“Is that what you did with Melody?”
“Not exactly.”
He chuckled softly before sobering and shaking his head. “Lucy would not be pleased with that tactic. A few years ago, it might’ve worked but she’s changed. She’s more independent now, wanting certain things from her life. I don’t know if I fit into them.”
“Could you make yourself fit?”
“Perhaps.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I’d have to leave Stump River and move to the city.”
“And your bear wouldn’t like that.”
“I wouldn’t either. Yet, for one’s mate and cub you do things you wouldn’t normally do, correct?”
Ryne considered the question and then nodded. “Yeah, it is.”
He sighed. “I need to make a decision soon.”
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Ryne pushed off from the counter.
“I will, my friend. I will.”
Ryne left to finish delivering cookies. Armand rinsed his cup and set it in the dishwasher then wiped the counter and cleaned the stove. The kitchen was large, being used to make burgers, fries and various simple dishes for the bar during business hours. He spent time each morning prepping it for the day, making sure it met health unit standards.
If he went to Chicago, what would he do with himself? Ashton had the King’s Plate in hand—he had merely supplied some of the backing—so he wasn’t needed there. He could open a new bar but the idea held little appeal.
He looked out the window and the beckoning forest beyond, then walked into the bar area. His gaze swept over the rows of bottles on the shelves, the clusters of tables, the dart boards and pool tables, the scarred old bar he’d spent hours polishing. How proud he’d been the day he’d gained ownership of the place. It had been rundown, but he’d brought it back to life with his own sweat and hard work. He still had plans for improvements…if he stayed.
Should he give this up? Move to Chicago to be with Lucy and his son? Did he love her enough to abandon his dreams so she could live hers?
His bear shuffled uncertainly. Our spirits will wither in the city, yet the needs of a mate and cub must come before our own.
Lou paused in the foyer of the apartment building and yawned.
She used to be able to breeze through a day’s work but that was before Caleb had come into her life. His demands ensured she was often short of sleep, yet she wouldn’t trade him for anything. The way his eyes brightened when she entered the room, his gaze following her every move always made her smile. His love was unquestioning and he’d brought a warmth and light to her life that had been missing for a long time.
“You tired, Lou?” Jimmy spoke to her from the door of his apartment.
“A bit.”
“You ever need a babysitter, I’m your man.” He pointed at his chest. “I had three kids and I changed their diapers.”
“Three? I didn’t know that.” She’d never considered Jimmy having ever been a family man.
“Yeah. My wife and I split when the kids were little. They’re all grown with families of their own now.” His eyes grew distant for a minute before he blinked and gave a rueful smile. “Been a long time since I’ve seen them.”
“Thanks for the offer, Jimmy. I’ll keep you in mind.”
He nodded and then handed her something from behind his back. “Here. I picked this up on the way home from the store the other day. Thought the baby might like it.”
She took the plastic bag and looked inside to see a little yellow duck, and smiled imagining gruff old Jimmy standing in a store looking at baby things. “He’ll love this. Thank you, Jimmy! It was so kind of you.” She gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Yeah, well, a kid needs toys.” He cleared his throat, a flush showing on his sallow face. “I gotta go feed my fish now.” He turned and shuffled back into his apartment.
Lou shook her head and, tucking the toy in with the groceries she’d picked up on the way home, began to climb the stairs. It was surprising how many people had stepped forward to help her, even Jimmy! Not that she’d likely take him up on his babysitting offer, despite his assurances, but it was still kind of him.
She’d just returned to work at the King’s Plate, and Ashton had been a real sweetheart ensuring her hours were such that Roxi could babysit. Everything was falling into place and yet…it wasn’t.
Thoughts of Armand filled her mind. It was so easy to picture him holding the baby, to imagine the three of them strolling down the streets of Stump River showing the baby to everyone or cuddling together in bed while the baby slept in a crib nearby.
She was still lost in her thoughts when she reached the top of the stairs. About to unlock the door, Roxi opened it for her. The girl seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to knowing food was arriving.
“You’re back!”
“You sound happy to see me. Was Caleb giving you a hard time? Or were you hungry?”
“Hungry!” Roxi took the shopping bag, reached in and pulled out the duck. “Um, this might be tough chewing, even for me.”
She laughed and explained while Roxi pulled out a box of cereal and began to munch.
“And how is Caleb?”
“Adorable as always.” She spoke through mouthfuls.
She smiled and peeked into the living room where her son was lying on a blanket on the floor. When he saw her, he began to coo, his little legs kicking in the air.
“Hello, big boy.” She scooped him up and kissed his belly while he laughed and then snuggled him close, breathing in the scent of baby. “Momma missed you.”
She bounced him on her hip, dividing her time between baby talk and chatting with Roxi who was getting ready for work. “Are you going to be home tomorrow night to watch the baby while I go to the centre? Because if not, Jimmy volunteered to babysit.”
Roxi popped her head out of the bathroom, a foamy toothbrush in her hand. “Jimmy! You wouldn’t, would you?”
“He said he’s changed diapers before.”
“Lulu, if you’re trying to guarantee I’ll be home, that will do it!”
“I wasn’t trying to scare you…at least not much.” She winked at Caleb before continuing. “Where is this catering job this afternoon?”
The sound of Roxi rinsing and spitting preceded her answer. “It’s a wedding reception at a private home.”
“You’re not going to try to crack open their safe or pick pockets or anything are you?”
“I’ve told you and told you. I don’t do any of that illegal crap. I just look and listen and pick up any bits of paper left lying about. It’s not my fault if hired help is considered invisible.” She left the bathroom and headed towards her bedroom. “Besides, I sort of know these people, so it wouldn’t be nice to snoop on their wedding day.”
Lou nodded and whispered to Caleb. “See? Auntie Roxi does have some scruples.”
“I heard that!”
“Sorry.”
A minute later she wandered into the living room looking quite smart in black pants and a white shirt. “Have you seen my black flats?”
“Try under your bed.” She shifted her grip on Caleb who was grabbing at her glasses. “You and your daddy, neither of you like my glasses.”
“You know, he’s way ahead in his milestones.” Roxi left and then returned a minute later wearing her shoes. “I was reading up on it today and grabbing glasses at his age is advanced.”
Roxi was reading up about baby milestones? She tried to keep the shock from her face. “Really? That’s interesting.”
“He looks a lot like Armand, don’t you think? Especially with all that dark, curly hair.” Roxi stopped beside her to admire the baby.
“Yes, he does.” She studied her son, unable to stop smiling as he grinned back at her. “You know, I’ve been thinking…”
“About what?”
“That maybe I should…” She paused and took a deep breath, “consider a trip. To Canada.”
“Canada? You mean to see Armand?”
She nodded. “A baby needs a father. I know lots of kids don’t have one and do fine but I want to at least give it a try for Caleb’s sake.”
“Getting back together just because there’s a baby is never a good idea.” Roxi folded her arms and shook her head. “Using the baby as glue to keep you together puts a lot of stress on a kid. That’s what my parents did and look at how I turned out. You don’t want that for Caleb, do you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Aww, that’s nice of you.”
“Well, except for your…hobby.” She softened the comment with a smile.
Roxi laughed as intended, then sobered. “I mean it. If you’re getting back together with Armand, that’s awesome. I think you two are great together, but make sure it’s for the right reasons.”
“Okay…Mother.”
“Hey, your head is full of baby stuff. I need to make sure you’re thinking clearly.”
“I know. Thanks for caring.”
“Anything for my Lulu. Maybe I should go to Canada with you. I could be your nanny and take care of Caleb while you and Armand get…reacquainted.” She gave a meaningful wink and then checked the time. “I’ve gotta run. We can talk about this later.”
Roxi grabbed her purse and Lou locked the door behind her, then settled down on the sofa and considered her future.
“What do you think, sweetie? Should we go to Canada to see your daddy?”
Caleb gurgled and she took that as a yes.
“He’d love to meet you and, to tell you the truth, I’d like to see him again, too. I’ve missed him.”
She stared down at Caleb, his features reminding her so much of Armand. When she’d first started her new life in Chicago she’d missed Armand —his smile, his laughter, knowing he was there to take care of her—but she’d forced those thoughts from her mind assuming there was no going back. After the mugging, the impossible had become possible again; she’d just been too slow to take advantage of it. Her mind had been fixated on a perfect life in a big a city and she hadn’t been willing to consider any other future. At least not until now.
If she went back to Canada, it wouldn’t be like she was giving up on her dream completely. It had just evolved and changed, sort of like she had. She wasn’t the same Lucy who had left. She’d gone to college, learned to manage public transit, had made new friends and even outwitted industrial spies! If she could do all that, then she could certainly find a way to continue her education back in Stump River and apply the skills she’d already acquired. Maybe she could become a school counselor, or create a website offering online help to people who lived far away from services…