Izzy still hasn’t called my phone. I flag a taxi and go straight to the hospital. By the time I reach Liam’s bedside, running full-out from the second I cross through the entrance, he is still hanging on, looking worse than I’ve ever seen him, but alive.

“You think you’ll get rid of me that easily?” he wheezes. I can barely hear him.

I run a hand over his mostly-bald head and force a smile. “Keep your smartass comments to yourself. Rest a little, eh?”

He shakes his head. His eyes burn as he looks up at me. “Fuck rest. I’ll rest when I’m dead. Hit me with all you’ve got, you pussy,” he whispers.

I pretend to chuckle, and he chuckles with me, but I see that even laughing exhausts him. My heart aches to see how he still wants me to think of him as a strong man. I hold his hand and he squeezes mine, but there is no power left in him. He is just a shell of the man I knew. I want to know why he didn’t tell me. How he thought I would take it if I never got the chance to say goodbye. But none of that matters now. It would only take up the little time we have left together.

Vanessa comes in with fresh coffee. She’s a mess—hair dirty, pinned up on top of her head. Eyes ringed with dark circles, cheeks sunken in. Clothes that look like she’s worn them for days on end. Her nose is red and chapped. I have to admit, I never cared much for her. Never thought she was good enough for him. Seeing the way she’s falling apart taking care of Liam, and knowing she could easily have walked away when she found out he was sick makes me regret the things I said about her.

“It all happened so fast,” she whispers softly as she sits on the other side of the bed, close to him. “He started coughing for no reason. He felt fine otherwise, no fever or anything. Just that cough. Then, he lost his appetite. And he was tired all the time. I would say three or four weeks between when it started and when I managed to convince him to see the doctor.”

“He always was a stubborn ass,” I mutter.

“That’s the truth,” she agrees, shaking her head with a rueful smile. “But it was too late by then. The doctor said it was Stage Four lung cancer.”

“How long ago was that?”

She looks up at the ceiling. “Three months?” she says with a shrug.

My hands clench. Three months. He could’ve gotten better treatment. He might have had a chance, but no, the stubborn bastard insisted on keeping it a secret from me and letting the cancer ravage him. My eyes find his face and I see the way it has eaten him out. His hair is all but gone, and his pallor is ghostly grey. Eyes and cheeks sunken like a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp. I can hardly believe this is the same man I used to sprint up and down the football pitch with. Somebody replaced my best friend with a withered old man.

“They must be able to do something for him.”

She looks at me from across the bed. “Nothing we can afford. Nothing feasible.”

“Afford? Feasible?” I hiss. Money? Is that all he lacked? When I have more of it than I’ll ever know what to do with? I’d kill him myself if he wasn’t already so close to it. The bastard.

She shrugs uncomfortably.

“I can afford it, Ness.”

“He didn’t want you to do anything like that,” she says, her voice breaking. “He’s proud and stubborn. He wanted it this way.”

“How could he want this?” I ask, furious but trying to keep my voice down for his sake. What I want to do is punch a wall, curse him for being such an idiot.

“You know how he is,” she says, like that’s an answer.

I stand up. “Tough shit. He’s going to have to deal with help from me. I can’t accept this. I want to speak to his team of oncologists, immediately. I want to explore other alternatives.”

“Tyson, no.” She rises, grabbing my arm as I’m about to storm out the door and raise holy hell in the corridor. I look down at her, surprised. Why would she stop me from getting help for him?

She swallows hard. “If it’s more of what he’s had, no. You don’t know how much he’s suffered in the last three months. Believe me, there is nothing I want more than for him to be alive, to be with me, but I love him so much I won’t put him through anymore. Enough is enough.”

I touch her arm. “I’ll find a way. A way where he doesn’t suffer.” My voice is strong and determined. “I need him. This is what I want. I can’t sit here and not try, at least.”

Her eyes swim with tears and a wild, crazy hope. “All right, then. Do it. I can’t pretend I don’t want you to do it.”

* * *

He sleeps through the next few hours, and I sit up by his bedside. Just watching, waiting. Waiting for what? For him to open his eyes again? For him to die? The thought kills me and I walk out of his room and go down the corridor. There is a door that leads out to a garden. There is no one in it. There is still no missed call on my phone. I guess she must be so busy she is going directly to Costa.

I call Costa at eight sharp. A man answers on the first ring, and I ask for Margot. She comes on the phone and immediately recognizes me.

“Is she there yet?”

“No, she has not arrived.”

“No problem. I’ll call back in fifteen minutes. Ask her to wait for my call.”

“Got it.”

I call again. And again. And again. Fifteen minutes became every thirty minutes. But each time the answer is always the same. She has not arrived. Finally, the answer was different.

“I’m so sorry. She has not come and we are closing now.”

My heart is so heavy, I can barely thank her for her trouble. Oh, Izzy. Did I completely misjudge you? No. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I didn’t make a mistake. No one can pretend such innocence. I saw the blood. That wasn’t a lie. We were so perfect. So happy. I try to think of anything she might have said that would give me a clue as where she could be.

Suddenly, crazy thoughts and images start appearing in my head. What if she met with an accident? What if she’s lying in a hospital even now? I imagine her broken and bleeding.

If it weren’t for Liam, I would have gone back to find her, but he needs me. His doctors are trying to find him a place at the Oslo Comprehensive Cancer Center in Norway. I need to be here to move quickly when they arrange something. My brother needs me.

I go back to Liam’s room and he is still asleep.

“You look like shit. There’s no need for both of us to be here. He’ll sleep right through now. Why don’t you take a break?” Vanessa says to me.

I rub the back of my neck. “Why don’t you take a break? I’ll stay with him.”

She smiles. “I’ll be all right. I’m happier when I’m here, next to him. You go ahead. There is a hotel just up the road. It’s not much, but you’ll be close by, and you can refresh and recharge. You’re no good to him tired and irritable. Go on.”

I don’t want to leave the hospital, but the doctor assures me things look all right for now. I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours and Ness is right. Liam needs me at my best. I take a taxi to the hotel Vanessa told me about.

The room is drab and basic. I drop my bag on the bed and walk to the window. The hospital is so close by I can see from where I am standing. A square gray building. I think of all the people who work there, who die there.

I should sleep.

The bed looks comfortable enough, but when I lie down and close my eyes, all I see is Izzy. I can’t get her out of my head. I roll onto my back with my arm over my eyes.

And there she is again.