CHAPTER TEN
Eventually, Vivi pulled herself together and glanced around her room. “I guess we’re not going to go down to St. Charles Ave. to see the parade.”
“Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to make it.” Running his hand over her face, he gave her a sympathetic smile. “I guess we’re having Fat Tuesday at home.”
Sliding off his lap, she winced as she straightened up. Lifting her T-shirt, she examined her hip. “I guess the car got me good.”
“I barely got to you in time. The force of the car clipping you helped propel you into my arms when I pulled you back. We were lucky that it hadn’t gained too much speed yet.”
Joel stood up and held his arms open, and she stepped into them. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she felt herself melt into his embrace. “Why are people after the clinic and now me? I’m trying to face all this bravely, but it’s getting harder and harder.”
“You have something they want. Between the prescription drugs and some knowledge that they think you possess, you’re a walking target.”
“There was no way to soften that message?”
“Sorry, honey. Better to face what is out there and deal with it than be surprised. What happened this morning tells me that we should get you out of town for a while. I think it’s time for a trip to Florida.”
Stepping away, she shook her head. “I’m not ready to pull up stakes quite yet. I want to see what the Feds and DEA say, and then I can make a decision. Maybe what happened the other day will be the last of it.”
He tilted his head and gave her a disbelieving look.
“What? It’s possible,” she sputtered.
“The same way it’s possible that I’m going to sprout wings and start flying around the room.”
She let out a snort and found herself laughing. Her life as she knew it was crumbling down around her, and he had managed to make her laugh. That was something to keep in mind. A man who could make you laugh was worth a second look. “As long as you wear a pink tutu when you start flying around.”
“We are going to have to have a real conversation about all this, but I think we need a shower, life-affirming sex, and a meal before that happens. So let’s get cleaned up.”
Standing as still as a statue, she stared at six feet two of male perfection and wondered if she had heard him correctly. Was he offering himself up as some sort of sexy physical therapy?
“Yes, Vivi. I said it. We are going to become intimate, and God willing, it is going to happen before the end of the day. We’ve been dancing around it, and it’s time to see if we’re going to be any good together.” Sliding his hands on his hips, he waited patiently for her to detonate. The likelihood of him getting away with a comment like that was extremely small. But he was tired and slightly freaked out. Seeing her in danger had used up all his reserve. The only way to get it back was to bury himself deep inside her and have her accept him. Fully and completely. It wasn’t pretty, but there it was.
“We have not been dancing around anything. You were mean to me for almost a year. The ‘dance,’ as you describe it, has only been going on for a couple of days.”
“It’s been happening for me for a long time. The fact that I tried to ignore it does not mitigate the fact that it was there from the moment I met you.”
“Lord save me from the men who like me. First Timmy Budrow and now you. I wish you all would have some guts and say what you feel instead of insulting me and trying to pull my hair. I’m long overdue for a man who knows his mind and heart and isn’t afraid to express it.”
“So would that be a yes or a no to my idea?”
Laughing, she pushed him in the direction of her shower. “I’ll let you know when I decide. Get in the shower and wash up, and then I’ll treat all those nasty scrapes you have. I want to clean the debris out, and then I’ll treat the worst of it.”
“I’m fine. This is nothing.”
“Even big bad SEALs need medical attention from time to time.” She gave him a little push. “My shower has a bunch of different settings, so take one in there.”
Glancing over his shoulder, he winked. “Is this your ploy to see me naked?”
“There is nothing that you have that I haven’t seen a thousand times. I’m a medical professional, and I’ve seen it all before.”
Shrugging, he walked into the bathroom, stripped his T-shirt off his body, and dropped his shorts. Turning on the water, he stepped in and turned around and grinned. “I’m just another patient.” Laughing, he spun around and adjusted the water and the jets and then stood under the water.
“Please forgive me, for I have sinned,” Vivi muttered to herself. “Or more accurately…I want to sin with that man standing in my shower. And probably more than once.” He was a work of art and built by a finer hand. It was true what she said about seeing everything he had a thousand times. She just couldn’t remember it ever being arranged so beautifully. Wide shoulders set off a massive chest, tapered waist, and strong legs. All of it was calling to her. And…the thing that was happening in the middle was a blessing all its own. Granted, it had been a long time for her, but she couldn’t ever remember seeing anything so impressive. Staring, she found herself tempted. It was like standing at the ice-cream counter and being on a diet. Three long years had passed since she’d had any ice cream, and she didn’t want to embarrass herself. Joel McDade was a tempting, delicious treat that she wanted to consume. Again and again.
He turned around and grinned. “Come on in, Vivi. If you’re not tempted by anything, then join me and save some water.” Looking her up and down, he grinned evilly. “I understand if you don’t want to tempt yourself.”
Squaring her shoulders, she pried her eyes away from his exceptionally fine behind and flipped her T-shirt over her head. Sliding her hand slowly up her rib cage, she lifted her sports bra and peeled it off her body. When she met his gaze, his eyes were bugging out of his head and his mouth was open. Take that, Joel. Grazing her hands down her waist, she lowered her shorts and started to move them down her legs. She noticed that his breathing had become erratic and he was leaning forward. When her shorts pooled at her feet, she kicked her leg up and caught them. Throwing them over her shoulder, she moved slowly toward the shower. “I guess it’s always a good idea to save water.”
He opened the shower door and held out his hand. “You have good manners, Joel. I appreciate that in a man.” Closing the door behind her, she noticed that his breaths were coming out unevenly. “Are you feeling okay?”
“If I die after this, then I want you to know that it will be completely worth it.” He huffed as he pulled her against his naked body.
All the bravado in the world had not prepared her for the feeling of being flush against Joel McDade’s glorious body. There were men who were sexy, and then there was him. Would it be wrong to crawl up his body and stay there for a week? “Honey, I’m not going to kill you, but it may feel like that after we’re done. I have three years to make up for, and I’m praying you’re the man for the job.”
“Everything they say about SEALs is true.”
“Is that a yes or a no to my idea?” she asked. Running her hand gently down his massive arm, she glanced up into his eyes. “I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m more scared of not trying.” Moving her eyes away from his, she leaned her head against his chest. “I just used up all my swagger, so if you could take it from here…I would appreciate it.”
***
Tipping her head up, he placed his hands gently on either side of her face. “It would be my pleasure, Viv.” Slowly he lowered his mouth and devoured her.
As their mouths moved together and her hands roamed over his smooth muscles, her body began to respond. Liquid desire moved through her veins as her body signaled pleasure. How could she have forgotten this feeling? One calloused hand moved to her breast, and he thumbed her nipple. A moan escaped as longing moved over her skin.
“That’s it, Viv, let me know how you feel.”
Sliding her hands between their bodies, she wrapped her hands around him and stroked him up and down. Hearing him groan made her believe that she was on the right track. Also the fact that he swelled even larger made it impossible to ignore.
“Viv, what are you doing to me?” He pulled away from her hand and bent over. Kissing her breast, he tugged a nipple into his mouth. She threw her head back and pressed herself more closely to his mouth.
“Condoms,” Vivi breathed as his hand moved south and he slipped his finger inside her. “We need one.”
“Let me love you, Viv.”
Raising her head, she stared into his eyes and saw how far gone he was. “Let’s get out of the shower, and you can show me all your moves.”
His eyes focused, and she saw the moment that her words registered in his brain. It was interesting to see how quickly he moved into action after that.
Turning the water off, he grabbed some towels and wrapped one around her. “I’ll be back in less than thirty seconds. I’m going to run and grab some condoms. I praying that I have a couple. Because it’s happening more than once.”
After that, it was a flash of his naked behind as he moved out of the bathroom. Glancing in the mirror, she caught her reflection. Who was that woman looking back at her? She hardly recognized herself. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were glazed, and she wore a smile. It had been a long time since any of that had happened. Before she could consider the changes further, Joel flew into the bathroom and scooped her up.
“I have three, so that will get us started. I can run out later on and grab a big box.”
“I think just one will be enough.” She laughed.
“You’re funny, Viv. One is never going to be enough.” Gently, he laid her on the bed and flipped her towel open. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and it’s hard to believe that it’s actually happening. Dr. Vivi naked, willing, and smiling at me. Dreams really do come true.”
Letting her eyes roam over his body and impressive erection, she grinned. “Bring that miracle a little closer, and let’s see what you’re capable of.” Opening her arms, she watched him fall gently against her. He broke his fall with his arms and grinned above her. “Now that feels good.” He was lying on top of her, and was cradled in her hips. The sheer maleness of him was overwhelming. His weight, the texture of his skin, and his smell were all overpowering her senses. She had forgotten about this foreign land and was happy to be back. “This feels good.”
“Honey, I haven’t done anything yet.” Wiggling his hips, he let her feel how excited he was about what was about to happen.
“Just know that it’s not going to take much.”
Lowering his head, he gazed directly at her. “This is more than our two bodies finding release.”
As his words washed over her, she began to feel a giving away. The heaviness that she was so used to moved away from her body. The way he held her allowed the iron hold she had kept on her feelings to loosen. All of a sudden, her heart began to crack open, and to her surprise and horror, a tear slipped down her face.
“It’s okay, Vivi. It’s been a hell of a day. Let it go.” Rolling to one side of her, he gathered her in his arms and held her closely.
It was the first time that she had been completely present with her grief. Somehow, the way he held her had allowed her to accept the loss for the first time since it happened. His loving embrace had set it free. “I’m so sorry, Joel.”
“Let it out, that’s all that matters.” Rocking her as grief poured from her, he slid his hand up and down her back.
“I don’t even know what I’m crying about. It’s everything and nothing. You saved me today, and you saved the clinic the other day. I should be celebrating.” Lifting herself, she pulled his face closer and kissed him with every emotion in her heart. It was the only way to get the jumble of feelings out of her. “Where is that condom?”
“What?” Joel managed to croak out.
“Hand me the condom.” Waiting, she watched him roll over and hand it to her. Tearing it with her teeth, she rolled it on. Her hands were shaking, and she was about to explode, and the only thing she wanted was for him to take her mind and body away. Moving on top of him, she slung her leg over and sat gently. “Show me what life-affirming sex feels like.”
“Are you sure?”
Lifting herself, she gently moved his erection away from his stomach. Maneuvering her body into position, she held him as she started to slide down his incredible length. “Yeah…I’m sure.”
A loud hiss escaped his lips, as she slowly welcomed him into her body. “Am I hurting you? It’s been a long time, but I think this is how it works.”
“Everything is great, absolutely fantastic. Keep going.”
Smiling widely, she slid up and then down. “I forgot, Joel. This is amazing.” A shuddering sigh escaped her mouth as her mind started to slip away.
“I agree, honey.” His forehead was damp, and he grinned as she moved up and down and experimented with how they fit together.
“Am I doing okay?”
“More…than okay.”
Resting her hands on his chest, she noticed how damp it was. “My hip is hurting, so I’m going to let you take over from here…” Before she could complete the sentence, he flipped her over and held her. “I guess you don’t mind.”
He didn’t argue and slid himself home. Her welcoming tight heat made him swell even more, and he plunged in and out.
The shared rhythm of their bodies both comforted her and aroused her in a delicate balance of pleasure. Feelings of release welled within her, and she felt him slow the pace. “Don’t stop, please…” Squeezing his shoulders, she urged him on and snapped loose. Falling into her orgasm, she felt him being pulled along with her.
His lips pressed against her jaw, and seemingly he lost the fight with control. Exploding into her, he shouted her name as electricity took over his body. He continued to move long after the climax and rocked her in his arms as he kept them connected. “Perfect,” he muttered again and again.
Moving her hand up his slick back, she kissed his shoulder. It was perfect. Their coupling shifted something heavy that had been sitting on her chest, and she suddenly understood what he meant when he said life-affirming sex. What just happened was fun but also powerful. Not willing to look at it too closely yet, she decided to enjoy the weight of the man embracing her. For the first time in three years, she felt something. Not sure what it was, she was grateful for it nonetheless.
Lifting his head, he grinned into her eyes. “That was powerful, Viv. I don’t know how or why, but I’m grateful.” Kissing her, he rolled off. “Seeing that car move toward you almost had me unraveling. But having you safe and unharmed is helping me keep it together.”
“What about what we just did…does that help too?” Vivi asked.
“More than you know. We’re going to have to do it a couple hundred more times for me to be sure, but it was a good start.”
“Good to know.” He kissed her head, and she realized that it felt more important than him just kissing her. It seemed as though he was promising her something, and she wondered what it might be. Before she could follow the thought, she felt herself slowly relaxing into sleep.
“Rest, Viv,” he said quietly against her hair.
***
Vivi went to her desk and pulled out her bag. Grabbing her glasses off the table, she marched into the bathroom with her professional mask firmly in place. Flipping all the lights on, she watched the room light up. “Are you ready?” She made him stand facing the mirror, and she pulled her makeup chair out and sat behind him. “I’m going to put antiseptic on your back, and then I’ll start cleaning out the debris. I don’t have any meds, so you’re going to have to gut it out. Which I think is a concept that you’re familiar with.”
“Yeah, I’ve had a little experience with that in the past.” She ran her hands over a couple of scars and murmured something. “What did you say, honey?”
“Whoever took your bullets out wasn’t worried about leaving scars.” Slowly, she moved the pads soaked with antiseptic over his back and side and felt him flinch slightly. Any other normal human being would be howling in pain. But apparently SEALs didn’t howl. “I like to leave things as neat as I can, but that’s just me.”
Leaning over, she saw him smiling into the mirror as she worked on him. “When I first met you, I thought you were magnetic and handsome. Then you opened your mouth and snarled at me for something, and I quickly changed my mind. Over the last couple of days, I can see that handsome man again. You should smile as often as you can, Joel. It makes you irresistible.”
Swiveling around as much as he could, he bestowed a winning grin upon her. “Thanks, Viv. That’s good to hear. You know, there is no need to resist me, Viv. No need at all.”
“Said the big bear to the innocent girl as she made her way down the trail.” Laughing to herself, she adjusted her glasses and got out her tweezers. “I’m going to apologize in advance for what I’m about to do to you. Feel free to call me names while I clean you up.”
“Go ahead, Viv. I promise to do my best to behave.”
“I liked it when you misbehaved earlier.” Usually, she felt nothing when she worked on a patient. It was just a collection of bone, muscle, and organs and a puzzle to be solved. Joel was all those things as well as an exceptionally desirable man. Squinting, she tried to concentrate on what she was doing and not on her overactive imagination.
“I’ll be misbehaving right after lunch, so prepare yourself.” Placing his hands on his hips, he grinned. “What is your specialty?”
“I’m trained as a general surgeon with a specialty in trauma. I also completed a program in pediatrics. It may seem like I’m a little schizophrenic, but I was interested in all those areas when I was going to school.”
“What do you enjoy doing most?”
“When I first started out, I loved surgery. It was so interesting and exciting, and then the idea of being on the front lines as a trauma surgeon held my focus. When I went abroad with MSF, I ended up doing a lot of different things. I gave immunizations, general checkups, well women’s exams, and performed surgery. When I was in Yemen for a year, I ended up doing surgery more than anything else. The demand for doctors was endless, and I did whatever was needed.”
“And now? What would you like to do now that you’re home?”
“I don’t want you to laugh, but I was thinking of going back and doing a full residency in pediatrics. I love working with the kids. It’s my favorite part of the day.” Moving closer, she ran her hand gently over his skin. “When I was over at Ochsner working in the ER, it was enormously depressing. We had men screech up to the doors and roll a body out and then drive away. I have to tell you that I don’t enjoy stitching up people knowing that they’re going to return again in a month. I know that sounds bad, but it’s like being the maid. I wanted to yell out, I just cleaned up here, why did you make a mess again? It all began to feel pointless.” Moving her glasses to the top of her head, she ran her hand lightly over his side and back. “I think I got most of it. Debris will continue to come to the surface over the next couple of days, so I’ll keep checking you.” Taking a tube of gel out of her bag, she smoothed it over his skin. Standing back, she inspected her work. “Good enough for now. I’ll take a look at it before you go to sleep tonight.”
Watching him spin around and take her hands made her heart flutter against her chest. Jeez, it was official. She had turned into a silly teenager. “Put a T-shirt on, because we don’t want anything coming into contact with the gashes you have.”
Joel leaned forward, lowered his head, and kissed her mouth gently. “Thanks, honey.”
“Oh…well…it was nothing.” Waving her hand around, she tried to get herself under control. “Let me change, and then I’ll fix us something to eat. It won’t be a real Fat Tuesday, but I’ll see what I can do.”
She leaned over to pick up her bag, and her robe gaped open and her hip and leg were exposed. Hearing a loud intake of breath, she glanced up. Before she could respond, Joel had his hands on her hips, and he was looking closely at her bruise. “It’s just a hematoma. It just seems bad because I have a lot of padding on my hips. Subcutaneous fat makes a bruise look worse than it is. The bone wasn’t damaged, so it will just be sore for a while.”
“Vivi, we need to ice this and rest. Why didn’t you say anything?” He ran his hands over her hips and down her leg as he inspected it. “I’ve seen this on the battlefield, and this isn’t something you can ignore.”
Bending over, she stopped his hands. “You’re getting a little too close to the good china.” Moving his hands away from her leg, she tried to smile lightly.
“I’ve already seen the good china, and I tasted it as well.” Winking, he turned around. “And I plan on doing it a couple more times before bedtime.” Pulling her chin up, he pressed his lips against hers. When he released her, he smiled against her mouth. “It’s Fat Tuesday, so it’s only right.”
He moved his hands to her face and held her gently as he stared into her eyes. She hadn’t felt this connection with another human being in a million years. There was an invisible rope that had them bound, and she could see how it might be a good idea to see what that was all about. “I think…I may want to see about you, Joel McDade.”
“That’s all I ask, Viv.” Pressing their mouths together, he sealed them as one.