I’m setting the food out on the long wooden tables that look like picnic tables, but much larger, each one holding around thirty people. James sets up four tables in the middle of the gym every time he hosts these dinners. I was here the first time James hosted a dinner. He started out just giving food to some kids who needed it, and now it’s grown into a community event.

Each table is set up family-style with large serving bowls. That was my suggestion to James. Make it feel like a family dinner rather than going through a buffet where you’re served by helpers. I help some of the mothers with basic self-defense training. Many have abusive spouses who they are trying to escape, but it isn’t always easy. Some have gotten away, but fear their spouse will come back. I know learning simple maneuvers can make you feel safer. Learning to fight has brought me comfort I didn’t think I would ever feel again.

James comes over to me at that moment, helping with the place settings. He gently knocks his shoulder into mine as a greeting.

“Thanks for getting me home the other night.”

“All good.”

He’s taken me a home a few times. He’s one of the few people who knows where I live.

“He wanted to take you home, you know.”

My posture goes rigid as I tense. I’m barely able to squeak out, “Who?” I know exactly who he is, but I’m not falling into this trap. And, James knows exactly why I wouldn’t let him take me home.

James scoffs. “Don’t play that way with me.”

“Did you tell him anything?”

James’ hand freezes in mid-air while setting a fork down. He sucks in a sharp breath. I turn my head to look at him. His face slowly comes toward mine, brows down, lips in a sneer. He seems offended and angry.

“Never.”

I sigh, feeling defeated. “I know, I’m sorry.”

James goes back to placing the silverware. He gives a nod; I know I’ve upset him. He prides himself on being a good man, one who would never break someone’s trust or risk the safety of an individual. He’s the only person I’ve become friends with, after my life changed, who knows what happened.

We move to the next table, working as a team with each place setting. The tense silence hangs around us, swirling into every pore. James is the person who told me to keep my address and whereabouts on lockdown. He’s the one who trained me in the middle of the night when I was too scared to come into a gym full of men. He’s the one who checks up on me and runs practices with me. I’m safe right now, but I won’t always be safe. The threats from my past will come back. It’s only a matter of time. James keeps me prepared and ready for that moment.

“James.” I place my hand on his bicep and squeeze. He freezes again, his shoulders tensing even further. “James, please.”

He sets down the utensils and turns to me, the hard look on his face hasn’t vanished. “You fucking know I would never betray you, risk your safety, or put you in an uncomfortable position. You fucking know that.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It was stupid of me. You’re the person I trust most in the world. I never doubted you. I don’t know where that question came from.” I open my arms and wrap them around his bear-like body. I rest my head against his chest, and finally he wraps his arms around me, too, and rests his head on top of mine.

“It’s okay.”

I squeeze him one more time. “I am sorry, James.”

“Stop. No more apologizing. It’s done. We’re good.”

He turns back to the task at hand. We fall back into silence, but it’s no longer tense or uncomfortable.

“He’s interested.”

“I know. He asked me on a date.”

“I think it’s a good idea.”

I’ve stopped setting the places, unable to look anywhere but at him. “You do?” I ask, completely shocked. He is constantly warning me away from guys and stepping in when men approach me at the gym.

“Yep.”

“Why?” I slowly go back to setting each place.

“You need to live your life. I didn’t know you before, but from the pictures I’ve seen and the stories Valerie and your mom tells, your life was much fuller before. You need to live that life again. I’m not saying abandon all sense and throw your safety out the window. You need to remain smart and keep your personal shit locked down, but getting out there won’t hurt you. He’s a good dude. Let him take you out. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I think we both the know the worst that can happen.” I sigh, shaking my head, not willing to go there. I change tracks. “You barely know him. This is so unlike you.”

He sighs, exasperated. “I know enough. He’s good people. I warn you away from others because they’re not.” He shrugs, like it’s the easiest decision in the world.

We finish the table in silence. There is a part of me that wants to take a chance. My heart races every time I think of Liam. His sinful smile and rusty voice make me clench my thighs together.

James comes up behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. “Just think about it.” He kisses the top of my head and walks away.

I have been thinking about it. Too much. He’s been on my mind since that morning at the coffee shop. James asked what’s the worst that can happen. My mind races to my past. I know the worst, I’ve lived the worst. I don’t have a desire to do it again. Yes, I’ve gone on dates, but I always carefully select the men I date. I consciously choose men with whom I don’t want a lasting relationship. I do that because I know after a small amount of time, we will move on. It’s safe. It’s easy. It’s the only way I have been able to have some sort of love life over the past six years. James’ words echo in my mind. Take a chance. I know the worst of what could happen, but what’s the best?

I place the last glass down on the last place setting and look up just in time to see Liam walking into the gym, immediately seeking me out. His dark jeans hang low on his hips. His broad chest and shoulders look like they’re about to burst out of his green Henley. A playful smirk edges the corner of his mouth. He knows I am checking him out. My eyes dart around, looking for anything to latch onto, an excuse of what I could have been looking at, instead of him. I release a shaky breath, right before he reaches me.

When he steps right in front of me, his eyes scan me from head to toe, twice. He leans in and places a kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “Beautiful, as ever.”