It’s out. I started. My heart is still beating. I am still breathing. The earth didn’t shift on its axis. I can get through this. Liam’s gaze was on my stomach, taking in the vibrancy of my tattoo. I agree with him. It’s gorgeous. Dex’s work is fantastic. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. If I were a different person, I’d show it off. It deserves to be shown off, but I fear the questions.

Liam’s posture, which was slack, is now stiff and rigid. His jaw is tight, eyes wary. He looks like he’s working his way through a minefield, unsure of what will set off an explosion.

I lean down, grabbing the shirt off the floor, done with exposing myself. I want to tell him everything, but doing that while standing in front of him in just my underwear is too vulnerable. He can see every part of me this way. I need to be covered while I bare my soul to him. I’m about to rip myself apart at the seams and bleed all over this floor. No part will be left unseen or in the shadows. I’m stepping into the light with my truth.

Liam grabs my wrist. “Don’t.”

I look up at him, still leaning toward the ground. “Don’t what?”

“Stay like this. Don’t put it back on. I—I need to see it. I need to know what it’s hiding.”

I stand back tall. If I’m going to basically be naked, he is, too. “Take off your clothes.”

He startles, his head cocking back like he’s utterly flabbergasted by my request.

“Not for sex, you dirty barbarian. If I’m going to stand here half-naked, so are you. Just stay in your briefs.”

He takes off his shirt and the sweatpants. He’s left sitting on the edge of the bed, posture still rigid, in nothing but his black boxer briefs. I still feel incredibly bare and exposed, but it’s better knowing I’m not the only one.

“Tell me everything, Savannah,” he coaxes gently.

Everything. Tell him everything. Where do I even begin? I’ve never told the full story in one sitting. In court, it was broken up over days. While I was in therapy, it was in bits and pieces that I was willing to give. Everything. He needs everything. I slice open the first cut, starting from the very beginning.

“I dated a guy named Aiden. We were typical high school sweethearts. Thought we were in love. Age didn’t matter. We didn’t need life experiences, we had each other. It’s ironic now, he treated me well. Toward the end of our relationship, I started noticing I didn’t want to be around him as much as when we first got together. At first, I chalked up it up to, that’s what every relationship goes through, right?”

Liam interrupts. “I don’t think so. I think some relationships are always good. Sure, they have their bad days, there are fights, but at the core of that relationship, they’re happy. It’s how my parents are.”

I nod my head and smile wistfully. “That’s how mine are, too. I was looking for excuses, though. I kind of felt like I was with him for this long, I have to stay with him. I think there was a part of him that knew I was pulling away. He started to become clingy, or at least it felt clingy. I couldn’t breathe. He was like a leech sucking the life out me. I knew that a person could never think like that about someone they love. I had some hard nights with myself, agonizing over breaking it off with him, but I finally did it.”

I stop, realizing I’ve been pacing in front of Liam. His posture has relaxed slightly, but he’s watching me like a hawk. His hands are balled into fists on his knees. I look at them, then up to his eyes.

He shrugs. “Trying to restrain from grabbing you. I’d rather be holding you for this conversation. I know something I won’t like is coming.”

I don’t explain to him again that I need the distance, he knows. I continue my pacing and keep slicing away at the memories, revealing other parts of me. Other parts of this story. Maybe by the end, he’ll understand my dire need for retribution.

“I did it at a cafe. He cried. He was upset, he begged me not to, but eventually he kind of accepted it. Honestly, it startled me. I didn’t think that would be how it went. I thought it was going to be hard, that we would be there for hours. We weren’t even there for twenty minutes. It was eerie how well he took it. It made me nervous, but cautiously optimistic. He did tell me he would always love me and gave me a very creepy hug.”

I shudder just from the memory of that embrace.

“Creepy hug?” he asks, confused.

“He kept telling me that he’d always love me, but wanted me to be happy. He said if this is what made me happy, then he’ll let me go. He wrapped me in his embrace and was hard.” I swallow the bile, knowing that he was hard because he felt like this was all part of some Romeo and Juliet bullshit. “I got out of there as fast as I could. He watched me drive away. And then, nothing. For days. Each day, I became more optimistic that he understood. I wondered if he felt the same things I did and knew it was the right decision.”

Liam remains quiet. I can’t glance at him again, it’s easier to look at anything else in the room. I know what’s next. It’s the beginning. The fucking beginning that I didn’t know was coming. The moment that would change the course of my life, the very core of who I was, and put scars all over my body and soul.

“Something you need to understand, even then, even before everything, I was never someone who confided my secrets to everyone. I’m generally pretty reserved with personal information. And, like I said before, I felt like he was draining me. No one knew I planned to break up with him, and afterward, I didn’t tell anyone. Valerie, who was my best friend, was on a cruise. My parents were out of town celebrating an anniversary.”

“I have a question,” Liam says, surprising me, breaking me from my monologue.

I look at him and raise an eyebrow.

“If Valerie is your best friend, how come she doesn’t know about the tattoo?”

“Valerie doesn’t even know everything I’m about to tell you. I wanted to keep it from friends and family as much as possible. You ... you’ll be the first to know it all.”

I’ve concealed this wound for too long, not wanting anyone to know it exists. This black part of my soul hasn’t seen the light of day for years. I rip off the bandage, exposing this piece of myself. Each word I speak opens the wound even more, and it feels as though my soul is escaping in slow drips. Drip. Drip. Drip.

The look in his eyes softens, and he opens his mouth to speak but stops. His expression warms my tortured soul.

“So, Val and my parents were out of town. I decided to enjoy the few days at home alone to myself. I felt like I hadn’t been alone for so long. I had plans. Netflix. Books. Junk food. Bliss. One day, though, I decided to leave Val a voicemail. I knew she wouldn’t get it for a few days, but that was fine. I told her we have tons to talk about and that I was newly single. After that call, I was showering. I thought I heard something, so I stopped shampooing my hair and listened as hard as I could. I didn’t hear anything else, so I figured my mind was playing tricks on me.”

I pause, readying myself for the next part. Chills race up my arm, feeling the fear that I know I’m about to encounter. I see myself in those moments. Romance book on my unmade bed with clean and comfortable pajamas, the pantry filled with chips, freezer filled with cookie dough. I had no idea. I wasn’t prepared. I am now. I will always be ready for any monster lurking in the shadows.

“I got out of the shower, changed into my PJs, before heading to the kitchen for some cookie dough.” I can’t bring myself to even look at Liam. My pacing becomes faster, my hand goes to my stomach, fearing the bile there will make its way to the surface. “The first thing I saw was red roses on the counter.”

Slice. Drip. Drip. Drip.

“I called out to my mom and dad, but like I said, they were out of town for their anniversary. Maybe they got flowers on the way home. That’s what I was hoping, but when I saw those flowers, dread filled my gut like cement. I looked in their room then went back to the kitchen, and there he was. Aiden. His head was in the refrigerator like it was just any other day.”

“Savannah, please, baby, let me hold you,” Liam interrupts.

I shake my head, continue to pace. I hear Liam take a deep breath in through his nose. “When he turned around, I fucking knew, Liam. I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t have my phone. I had nothing. His eyes were dark and crazy. I’d never seen him look like that. He was a completely different person from the boy I knew. Or thought I knew. He kept acting like it was any other day, telling me to get ready for our date. I told him we were broken up. He told me not to be silly and stop playing games. We went back and forth.”

I wipe the tears streaming down my face. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened next, but I do know he slammed my face into the kitchen island, knocking me out. I later found out he cleaned the blood, so no one would know. He texted my parents and told them he surprised me with a weekend trip. He did things like that, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary. They had no idea that he was actually kidnapping me. When I woke up, I was chained to a bed in lingerie.”