“Lucky for you, we’re in a bar,” I said, winking at her before pulling a barstool out. Helping her sit, I allowed myself to take another long look at her silky-smooth legs while her eyes darted all over the place.

I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and hold her against my chest when I saw the disappointment on her face. I knew how much she’d looked forward to going to Rowdy’s. I knew how excited she was about turning twenty-one.

And God help me, I knew she was searching for her soulmate. She’d talked about finding her other half for so long that the pain of it had scabbed over years ago, or so I always told myself. It would never be me. Moving forward, knowing it, was like rubbing a lemon juice and salt concoction into a wound that just wouldn’t heal.

Gracen had no idea how beautiful she was. Dressed the way she was, it was almost impossible to look away. On a normal day, she was the kind of beautiful that robbed my ability to think straight. Every single woman I dated, I chose specifically to be as different from Gracen as I could, hoping that with enough practice, I could make myself look at her and not want her with every fiber of my being.

Even though I’d had years to perfect keeping my face neutral, it would slip every once in a while. She’d get a peek of the raw emotion that bled through because it was too much to contain. When it did, she’d give me an odd look, and then crack a joke to see me smile. I’d heave a huge sigh of internal relief that she’d once again misinterpreted it, because I couldn’t lose her friendship.

The draw to her had gotten to be so much that I knew if I didn’t do something, and soon, I’d ruin everything with her. Somewhere, there was a lucky bastard who’d eventually steal her right out from under my nose, and there wouldn’t be a damn thing I could do about it. I already hated him—whoever he was.

She had no idea the kind of hold she had on me. I’d do just about anything to make her happy, which was how I got roped into a Wednesday night birthday celebration at Rowdy’s. I’d expected her to be in boots, a pair of jeans that molded her just right, and maybe one of those sparkly looking shirts she occasionally liked to wear. That was not the case.

When she came down the stairs, I almost forgot my place. Almost forgot our boundaries. I watched her the whole way down, fighting every urge to claim her. When she made it to the bottom step, I’d dipped my head at her and turned away, using the excuse of petting Lucy when she’d nose-butted my hand.

It was easier that way. Better to keep my eyes from all the skin Gracen left exposed with the black lace dress that stopped just shy of being indecent. And the high heels? I had so many visions of what I wanted to do to her in those shoes. Too many. Starting with lifting her up and wrapping her long legs around me, so I could lay her down on the stairs and…

“What should we start off with?” Gracen asked, snapping me back to reality.

I fought to keep my voice from sounding strained as the bartender waited for us to order.

Gracen wiggled her eyebrows at me. “I think I’ll have a sex on the beach.”

The bartender stalled a second longer than necessary as his eyes zeroed in on her chest.

I slid my hand along the back of Gracen’s chair and said, “I’ll have a Corona,” hoping he’d take the hint. He saw me, but that didn’t stop him from winking at her before sauntering off to fill our drink order.

Gracen, oblivious to his ogling, turned to me and gave me a smile that could have powered an entire ranch. Rowdy’s was Garwood’s newest watering hole that didn’t allow anyone under the age of twenty-one in. Gracen had always talked about the day she’d finally be able to step inside and soak it all in. I wasn’t sure she realized that, on most days, Rowdy’s was just another bar in a small Texas town. In her mind, she’d built it up like she did everything else.

“So birthday girl, what do you think of Rowdy’s?” I asked, turning in my seat and putting my feet on either side of hers on the barstool rungs.

Sitting like that held a slight advantage for me. Her legs were in between mine, making it look like we were there together as more than just friends. Not that I had too much to worry about considering most of the people at Rowdy’s were there to learn new line dances, ignoring those who chose to sit at the bar.

Gracen linked her fingers together in her lap and tilted her head, scrunching her face in a cute way. A kissable way.

Leaning back a little, I draped my arm over the back of my barstool to keep from reaching out and pulling her into my lap.

She shrugged, causing her wavy auburn hair to cascade over her shoulders. I longed to twine my fingers through it and feel the heavy silkiness. Most days, Gracen had her hair up in a ponytail, sometimes a bun, to keep it off her neck. She couldn’t stand the feel of it in her face. Seeing it down was almost like seeing part of her she kept covered all the time.

There was something about Gracen that made my whole body come alive. All she had to do was look at me with those green-flecked eyes and I’d do whatever she wanted, however she wanted. It would wreck me to lose her, so I took what I could get. Our friendship. And it meant more to me than anything else in the world. When she met whoever it was she searched for, I’d probably curl up and cease to exist anymore.

She flicked her hair back over her shoulder with an irritated scowl. “I think I got all dressed up for nothing.”

“Why’d you wear it down if all you’re gonna do is fight with it?” I asked, pulling my hand back before it made contact with the silken strands that taunted me.

She slapped my knee with a huff. “Because I wanted to look nice tonight. You know… get dressed up and actually feel like a woman for once.”

What felt like a million volts of electricity zipped up my leg, spreading like wildfire along every nerve ending. Usually, I could keep it in check, but having her sitting in front of me dressed like a siren bent on luring the opposite sex to her bed did nothing but make me want to be the one to peel her dress off.

I shook my head, scoffing at the thought of it. I needed to get my head straight and stop fantasizing that Gracen would see me as more than her friend.

“What’s so hard to believe about that?” she asked. Clearly, she’d misinterpreted my reaction.

A beer landed by my elbow with a solid thud before I could answer.

“A sex on the beach for the beautiful lady,” the bartender said as he slid Gracen’s drink across the bar to her.

He leaned in a little closer, giving her his undivided attention. “Anything else I can get you?”

She turned a full megawatt smile on him. “A shot of top-shelf tequila.”

“If I have to carry you out of here, it’s gonna be over my shoulder, and the whole place will see your ass in the air,” I grumbled, watching the two of them stare at each other.

“I could always take you home,” the bartender said, tossing me a smug smile.

“Like hell you will,” I answered under my breath. I probably could have shouted it and neither one of them would have heard me.

“What’s your name?” Gracen asked him.

He gave her a smoldering look. “Name’s Tanner, but darlin’, I’ll be whoever you want me to be,” he answered, leaning his elbows on the bar to get closer to her.

I forced myself not to roll my eyes at his stupid, clichéd pick-up line.

“Oh my goodness, who do we have here? Is that you, Slade?” I cringed at the high-pitched, overly sweetened sound.

Tiffany Wilson, my long-time ex, gripped my arm, spinning Gracen and me around to face her. When our legs parted, Gracen rolled her eyes at Tiffany before turning and starting her conversation back up with the bartender in order to drown out Tiffany’s voice.

There was bad blood between the two of them… had been since Gracen found Tiffany in my bed one morning when she popped by to see if I wanted to go fishing. After that, Gracen pulled away from me. And Tiffany clung even harder until I’d felt so suffocated I ended our relationship.

It had been the breakup from hell, too, because Tiffany wasn’t ready to give me up. She’d screamed at me so loud her voice pitched to the level only dogs could hear when I told her it was over. It had been messy. Ugly.

After calling me every name in the book, she’d resorted to tears. When those didn’t work, she threw things at me. An empty feed bucket, a shovel, and a horseshoe were aimed at the direction of my head before she stormed off, leaving me in peace.

Gracen had witnessed the end of her outburst from the shade of the old oak tree between the barn and her place. She’d waited until Tiffany stormed over to her little red sports car before approaching her. I had no idea what Gracen said, but after that, Tiffany never came back. I’d asked Gracen when she met me in the barn, after Tiffany peeled away and left a plume of dust behind her, but all Gracen said was, “Fine day for fishin’,” and then grabbed our poles from the tack room. We never talked about Tiffany again. And I was okay with that.

If only I were back at the ranch and not cornered on a barstool only feet away from the ex from hell.

“What brings you out on a Wednesday night, Slade? Lookin’ for a little fun?” Tiffany purred as she leaned in, putting her hand on my chest and brushing her double-D breasts against my arm.

I pulled back, tipping my head to Gracen. “I’m here with Gracen to celebrate her birthday.”

Tiffany smirked. “Looks like she’s found a willing body to celebrate it with. I could go with some celebratin’ myself.”

Before I could squirm in my seat, Gracen turned with a sultry laugh and ran her hand up my leg. “Now why in the world would he want to do that when he’s here with me?”

I went instantly hard.

Gracen’s voice, and the touch of her fingers, made swallowing next to impossible.

Tiffany, not to be outdone, hit Gracen with the only thing in her arsenal. “You might be here with him, but I know you haven’t slept together.”

Gracen snorted. “Think whatever you like, Tiffany, as long as you do it away from us.”

Tiffany’s eyes skipped between Gracen and me. “Oh, it’s not what I think—it’s what I know. And let me give you some advice, honey. If you two were tearin’ up the sheets, you damn sure wouldn’t be flirting with the bartender.”

She winked at me, turning her back on Gracen. “She has no idea what you like, but I do. Come home with me, cowboy, and I’ll take real good care of you.”

No way in hell. “Not interested.”

Tiffany stiffened. “Your loss.”

My indifference was enough to make her walk away, but not before she called me an asshole in parting.

I snagged Gracen’s hand. “You wanna dance?”

Gracen chuckled as I led her to the dance floor, dragging her off to a corner so we weren’t in the way of the line dancers before pulling her against my chest.

“Better to spin me around the dance floor than bail me out of jail?” she asked, burying her nose against my shoulder, laughing hard enough to shake the both of us.

“I’m glad you got a kick out of that,” I said, dipping my head to snuggle it into the crook of her neck.

She shivered against me. “What a bitch. I don’t know what you ever saw in her. “

“That makes two of us,” I answered, sweeping her into a turn that made her giggle.

I loved hearing her laugh, so I did it again.

She swayed into me. “I’m gonna miss you when you leave.” A flicker of sadness shadowed her eyes when she said it.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be having fun tonight.”

She pushed back a little to look up at me. “I am. I just… I know you’ll be gone this time next week, and it makes me sad to know you won’t be within shouting distance anymore.”

We were swaying side to side when she hit me with that freight train. I’d taken the job because I knew it would only be a matter of time before someone stepped in and swept her off her feet. I couldn’t stand by and watch it happen. Distance was needed so we could grow into who we were meant to be. But damn it all if it didn’t feel like I’d be leaving most of myself behind when it came time to leave.

Montana seemed like the answer. It was far enough away to give each of us the space we needed in order to live our lives as they were meant to be lived, but still allow us to be friends.

“You’re not trying to back out of this weekend already, are you?” Gracen asked, hooking her hand over my shoulder and giving me a shake.

“No, I’m not backing out. I even have it on my calendar.” I smirked at her.

She squinted back at me. “Oh, really? And what exactly does it say on your calendar?”

My smirk turned into a full-blown smile. “Nothing major. I only circled it like a million times and wrote in big, bold, red letters ‘OUT FISH GRACEN’.

She tipped her head back, letting out a belting laugh loud enough to turn heads. “You can try, Slade. But you know as well as I do, I always out fish you.”

“Can’t even get a sympathy win. Damn, Gray, that’s just mean.” I shook my head, pulling our linked hands up to my heart and rubbing them against my shirt.

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m ready for another drink. You?” she asked, stepping out of my arms.

* * *

Gracen had never really been a drinker. Even back in her hell-raising high school days. When she listed sideways on her barstool, I knew she’d had more than she should have.

“Come on, birthday girl. Time to go,” I said, putting my hand out for her to take.

The goofiest smile spread across her face as her hand went out, searching the air to the left of mine.

Getting her off the barstool had been the easiest part. It was almost comical to watch as she tried in vain to find some sort of balance. There was no way she’d make it to my truck with those heels.

Somewhere in her alcohol-fogged brain, she must have known it, too, because she kicked them off and then face-planted into my chest with a giggle.

A least she was a happy drunk.

“Ready when you are,” she mumbled against my shirt.

Gracen was in no shape to walk. Period. So I did what I told her I’d do if she was too drunk to walk out on her own.

I was sure we made one hell of a picture as we left—her ass in the air over my shoulder like a sack of feed and her heels in my hand. Leaving without notice didn’t happen either. From somewhere behind us, someone made a lewd comment that ended in a bellowed round-up cattle call.

Instead of embarrassing Gracen, it brought her to life. Her elbows dug into my back as she joined in on their fun by giving her own sort of drunk battle cry. The jerky movements jostled the both of us hard enough that she was dangerously close to slipping off my shoulder. Slapping my hand right on her ass, I left it there to keep her in place.

“Keep that up, cowboy, and you might just get lucky tonight,” Gracen said, wiggling her ass under my hand.

“Don’t make promises you won’t keep, Gracen,” I answered, ready to put some space between us before I did something stupid.

“What promise?” Gracen slurred as she tried to twist around. An impossible feat with the way I had ahold of her.

“Never mind, Gray. And would you stop squirming? You’re gonna pitch us right off the damn sidewalk,” I said, gripping her a little tighter.

“Well, you try being carried upside…” She hiccupped hard and then continued, “Upside down and see how it…” Hiccup. “See how it feels.” Hiccup. “Damn that hu-hiccup.”

“Please don’t puke down the back of my shirt. We’re almost to the truck,” I said, hoping we’d make it there in time.

“I won’t. I promise. See! That’s a promise! Not like before when you said I promised something when I didn’t promise anything. In fact…”

Her body jerked, and I stumbled.

“Damn it, Gracen!”

“Don’t you yell at me! I’m trying to make a point here,” she said, slapping my ass.

“Keep it up and I’ll throw you in the bushes. You can sleep there all night,” I said, giving her a good bounce on my shoulder.

“Ooof. Your muscles are hurting me,” she answered with an over-exaggerated groan that turned into a snicker as she continued. “Your muscly muscles are hurting me.”

“Oh God, I can’t wait to get you home and to bed,” I said, laughing at her drunk rambling. The hold I had on her slipped when she twisted so hard I had no choice but put her back on her feet.

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” she said, and then took off running for my truck.

“What the hell?” The murmured question slipped past my lips as I watched her drunken zigzag before taking off after her.

I made it to her before she did an asphalt face-plant and scooped her into in my arms, proceeding to give her shit. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, running around a damn parking lot drunk as a skunk?”

“You said you’d take me to bed. I’m just getting us there faster,” she answered, cupping her hand against my jaw as she batted her eyelashes at me.

My heart galloped in my chest. “You know, Gracen… that’s almost tempting.”

She nodded sharply. “Ya know what, Slade? This has been the best birthday ever.”

Her hands shot out, pinwheeling like an orchestra conductor as she bellowed out her own rendition of the birthday song. “Happy birthday to meeeee… Happy birthday to me… I’m gonna climb you like a tree, and then we’ll watch some TV…”

“Like a tree, huh?” I said, putting her down by the passenger door of my truck before lifting her into the seat and buckling her in.

“You’re kinda like a tree… all big and strong.” Her eyes sparkled in the reflection of the parking lot lights as her fingers came up, snapping between the two of us as she pointed at me. “And you have a root!” She busted out laughing at her own joke as I closed the door and walked around the back of the truck.

I needed a second to pull myself together after that one. Gracen was clearly hammered. In the morning, if she even remembered it, she’d probably turn a nice shade of tomato when she thought about what she’d said. I needed to remember that and not allow my feelings to overrule my actions. I’d loved her far too long to take what she offered in her alcohol-fogged state. She meant more to me than that. And one taste of Gracen would never be enough. Not in this lifetime. Hell, not even in the next thousand.

As soon as the truck fired up and I turned out of the parking lot, Gracen unbuckled her seatbelt and laid down, putting her head in my lap.

“Slade?” she whispered.

“Yeah, Gray?” I answered.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” I asked, wondering where the conversation was headed.

“For being you.”

Her body relaxing, Gracen fell asleep.

* * *

I made a pallet on Gracen’s bedroom floor after I made sure she was tucked in. Lucy, Gracen’s Australian Shepard, jumped on the bed, settling at her girl’s feet as I tried to relax enough to calm down and go to sleep.

Just as I was drifting off, Gracen rolled over, mumbling something I couldn’t understand.

With a silent chuckle, I plumped my pillow and closed my eyes, wondering what other nonsense she’d rattle on about in her dreams. Gracen had always talked in her sleep. Especially when she’d crash out on the couch while we watched a movie together. Most always it was only a word or two. Nothing ever really made sense, but it was funny to listen to and tease her about.

The night wrapped its arms around me as I settled in, trying to find a comfortable position against the unyielding floor. I really wanted my bed, but with as much as she’d drank, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her on her own.

My ears perked with the sound of rustling sheets. I moved to sit up, ready to help if she needed it, but she was just turning over. She half buried herself under the mound of covers, mumbled something incoherent, paused, and then said, “More than cheese and crackers, Slade.”

That simple sentence kicked me in the stomach like a pissed-off heifer. It took my thoughts and scattered them, and I was pretty sure my heart stopped beating for at least four beats. I hadn’t heard her say that since before her daddy died. It was something they said to each other; only they’d said ‘I love you like cheese and crackers’.

Never more.

Never me.

It was just a mix of words in her dreams, I told myself over and over again. But there was no erasing those words from my memory.

“Cheese and crackers, Gray,” I whispered back, hearing a contented sigh from somewhere in the blankets.

Lucy jumped off the bed and came over to me, sniffing along the blankets before flopping down. I scratched her ears as sleep continued to elude me.