There was a stillness in the sounds that surrounded a hospital setting. The whoosh and whirl of air moving from machine to body. The faint beep, signaling a heart rate. There was also that smell. An exact name couldn’t be put to it, but people would know it anywhere. Some might relate it to fear while others related it to loss. As for me, I could only feel numb from it. Scent and sound became one thing to me. Terror.

I’d driven day and night with countless horrific images flashing in my mind. Lex’s words were on automatic replay. Every damn mile, I had to will myself to keep it together.

“Mr. Owens?” I jerked in response to my name.

I nodded. “Slade. Slade Owens.”

The nurse on duty walked to the other side of the hospital bed and pulled her stethoscope from around her neck as she said, “Visiting hours are over, Mr. Owens.”

“Can you give me a few more minutes? I just got in and—”

Her eyes roamed my face. Under her stern mask, I caught a brief flicker of sympathy. “Five more minutes, Mr. Owens, and then you’ll have to go.”

My sandpaper-coated eyelids slowly blinked as I nodded. “Thank you.”

She whisked out after giving me a tight smile.

I didn’t want to leave. Didn’t think I had the strength left in me to even rise from the chair I’d pulled up alongside the hospital bed. My eyes felt heavier and heavier with each passing second. Slipping my hand under Gracen’s, I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles, wishing she’d open her eyes. I knew there was no chance since they had her heavily sedated, but I wanted her to.

She was busted from head to toe. Bruises marred her skin with black and purple shadows. Her face was swollen. Gauze bandages were wrapped around her head, around the contusion the doctors said was on the back. Her neck was dotted with fingertip-sized bruises that pulsed in time with her heartbeat. A soft cast encased her arm until some of the swelling went down so that a hard cast could be fit, if it did turn out to be broken. Seeing her like that wrecked me. Knowing she couldn’t feel any of the pain didn’t make it much better, but at least she wasn’t suffering. That would come later when she woke up.

With all the wires and tubes connected to her, she looked like a science experiment gone wrong.

“Slade?” Lex called from the open doorway.

I let go of Gracen’s hand and stood, hoping my legs would hold me as I bent over and placed my lips to her forehead, whispering. “More than cheese and crackers, Gray.”

I moved from her bed to the hallway in a fog. Lex walked beside me in silence until we got to the parking lot. “Why don’t you leave your truck here and I’ll drive you back to the ranch?”

Lex didn’t try to follow me when I shook my head and walked off, but I could feel his eyes burning into my back all the way across the lot. The lone sound of his truck starting came to me as I unlocked mine and opened the back door of the extended cab. I’d slept in worse places.

Tossing my hat on the front seat, I turned as Lex pulled up beside me and rolled his window down. He looked about as tired as I felt. “I have to go by the police station in the morning. After, I’ll go and check on Lucy. Call me if there are any changes.”

He knew I wouldn’t leave, not until she woke up, and not even then.

With his arm draped along the open window, he pinched the bridge of his nose and pulled in a deep breath before letting it go with a heavy sigh. “She’ll be all right, Slade. I know she will, but I can’t keep seeing it… ya know. How did I miss the signs? It was all right there under my nose and…” His jaw worked back and forth, muscles clenching as he fought to keep his emotions under control.

I didn’t know what to say. Lex’s demons were as soul-shredding as my own.

“And worse… worse, I want to blame you for leaving, and myself for getting so caught up with everything else. I can’t close my eyes. Every time I close my eyes, I see them laying there. And I want to tell you every horrible detail and make you suffer just like I am, but I know that’s not fair either. What the hell am I supposed to do with all this anger? This rage?”

“You didn’t fail her, Lex. I did.” I turned my back on him, got in my truck, and slammed the door closed. I couldn’t handle his guilt. I had too much of my own.

Lex sped off, leaving me in a hell of silence. One that wouldn’t stop torturing me. My fists clenched and shot out, hitting the back of the driver’s seat as the sounds of a wounded animal ripped out from deep inside me. I’d failed her… and she was unconscious in a hospital bed paying the price for it.

Clint’s smug face flashed across my eyes and I punched the seat over and over, picturing him each time my fist shot out.

It didn’t take long to wear myself out. I’d been awake for over forty-eight hours. I slumped, falling over onto the seat as my chest heaved, knuckles aching. My eyes burned as hot tears sprang up and then rolled past the corners. Burying my face into the seat, I couldn’t hold back the torture of my failures anymore, so I let them have free rein.

There wasn’t a fucking thing I could do.

Nothing.

And that was the most frustrating thing in the world.

If only I had stayed. But I hadn’t. I’d bolted instead of trying to make it work. Make her see me. See us. But I’d been hurt. She didn’t want me. And there was no taking back what we’d done. It had been easier to run away and turn my back on everything I wanted.

No, that’s not it, Slade. You wanted to punish her by taking away your friendship in hopes she’d reach out to you first.

I knew she’d be upset when she found out I’d just up and left. Knew she’d demand to know why. I just never expected for her to jump into a relationship so fast. Had it been her or him? And why him?

I’d warned her about him. There was something about Clint that hadn’t sat right with me. At the time, I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. And I’d left her behind. Unprotected. At his mercy. All because I couldn’t get a good enough handle on my feelings for her. And I damn sure hadn’t wanted to stick around and watch her with someone else, knowing exactly what it was I couldn’t have. Her.

“Fuuuuuuck!” The word rolled out of me like thunder, slicing and ripping at the inside of my throat as my elbows dug into my stomach.

I curled my fists against my head, wishing the seat would open and swallow me whole, dumping me into a parallel universe. A universe where I hadn’t left, and she wasn’t lying in a hospital bed.

Every damn breath I took was harder to obtain than the one before it. I fought the restriction. Fought the need to claw at the twisted muscles banding tight across my chest, but each time I tried to take a full breath, it was shorter. More painful.

I’m sorry, Gracen. I’m so damn sorry.

* * *

I woke before dawn from a nightmare so intense it made me shout into the darkness surrounding me. It took me a minute to come to my senses. I had no idea what time it was, but if I had to guess, I’d put it around six in the morning. Too early for visiting hours.

I unfolded myself from the backseat and stepped out of my truck into the chill of the early morning air. My dream haunted me no matter how hard I tried to shake it. Fear twisted in my gut, unwilling to let go. It had been so real. So damn real. I’d stood in Gracen’s house, a glass wall between us as Clint attacked her. Every time I’d break the wall and reach for Clint, he’d slip from my grasp and the wall would go back up, forcing me to watch as his fist pounded into a girl’s curled form. It wasn’t Gracen in my dream, though. The girl had been faceless. Her hair a startling red, not auburn silk. I didn’t know if my subconscious refused to allow Gracen to be a part of the terror it set on me, or if the red hair was some sort of subliminal meaning. Maybe it was the fact I knew Gracen had a head injury that had bled profusely.

I stretched, yawning, as the vertebrae in my back popped. Nightmare non-withstanding, I’d at least gotten some sleep. Enough to get me through the day of sitting beside Gracen’s bed.

The vet’s office opened an hour before hospital visiting hours did. If Gracen woke up, she’d be worried sick over Lucy. Frankly, I was worried about her as well. I slid in behind the wheel of my truck and rested my head against the steering wheel before turning the motor over.

“Please watch over her.” I wasn’t sure who I was asking. God? Her daddy? But I hoped one of them was listening.

* * *

I cooled my heels at the only place open that early in the morning. The truck stop lights were bright. Almost too bright. The coffee was fresh and hot, leaving my taste buds scorched but satisfied. The waitress must have taken pity on my rumpled appearance and bloodshot eyes, because my cup never went completely empty. Or maybe it was because, including me, there were only three people in the entire diner.

The vinyl seat squeaked as I turned away from the counter to glance at the clock across the room. I sighed. There was still a half hour before the vet’s office opened, but I couldn’t stomach another cup of coffee.

Rising from my seat, I tossed a twenty on the counter and waved at the waitress, telling her to keep the change before I left.

The drive to the vet’s office took less than five minutes, and as luck would have it, the receptionist was there unlocking the front door.

“Good morning,” she said, beaming at me.

It took two tries before I could clear my throat enough to speak. “Mornin’. I’m here to check on Lucy.”

Her eyes widened. “And you are?”

“Slade Owens.”

“Oh, yes, your brother said you might stop by. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where she is.” She pulled open the little half door connecting her desk to the wall and then ushered me to the back.

“She’s doing well, but it’ll take her some time to heal. Her ribs are bruised, not broken, which means she’ll probably be released today if Doc Adams clears her.”

Lucy smelled me before she saw me and set the whole kennel up in arms with her fierce whining.

“Sounds like somebody knows you’re here. I’ll let her out, but try to keep her calm. We don’t need her getting too excited and hurting herself more than she is already.”

Lucy’s paws dug at the metal door, making it bang and rattle. The receptionist had a hard time getting her hands close enough to unlatch it with all the carrying on.

“Lucy, sit!” I spoke sharply to her.

Her backside hit the floor, but wiggled so hard it made her excited yips turn into pain-filled yelps.

I moved around the receptionist. Releasing the latch, I landed on my ass as a hundred pounds of overly excited dog tackled me.

“Mr. Owens, she really should calm down. I’m afraid…”

I heeded the anxiety in her voice and got on my knees, pulling Lucy’s head between my hands and dropping my forehead to hers. “It’s okay, Lucy. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere without you. Shhhh…”

Her body trembled as she shifted from foot to foot on her front legs. Her head bobbed, trying to seek release from the firm grip I had on her. She was so wound up I knew it would take a few minutes for her to calm down.

Her tongue lashed out, catching me on the chin and making me chuckle. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually laughed.

“I know… I know. Hello, Lucy.”

Lucy answered, startling the receptionist. “Did she just say it back to you?”

I didn’t have to answer because Lucy did it again and again until I let go of her head and answered her back.

“Hello, girl. I’ve missed you,” I said, sitting down on the floor in front of her.

A tear rolled down my check. Before I could dash it away, Lucy darted in and licked my face, taking away the tear as she put her paw on my chest. Tear tracks, shiny and wet, streaked the corners of her eyes and made a path along her nose.

From behind me, I could hear the receptionist sniffle.

“What do we have here?” I looked up to see a woman sliding her arms into a white jacket, her eyes moving between Lucy and me.

I climbed to my feet, Lucy moving in close enough her shoulder pushed against my leg as the receptionist explained who I was.

“Mr. Owens.” The vet tipped her head in my direction briefly, her primary concern the squirming body of fur beside me.

“Hello, Lucy. And how are you feeling today?” the vet asked as she walked over and squatted down in front of her.

Lucy nosed the vet’s hand and shifted until her paw settled on my boot. I reached down and scratched between her ears as she panted away with a huge teeth-baring doggie grin.

“I see,” the vet said, giving a soft chuckle as she ran her hands down Lucy’s front legs. “He’s yours, huh?”

Lucy stood still until the vet sat back on her heels, squinting at her in thought. “Well, she looks good. Minimal swelling. A little tender in some spots, but that’s to be expected.”

I held my hand out to her as she pushed up from the floor. She didn’t take it until she was on her feet, and when she did, she gave it a firm shake. “I’m Doctor Anna Adams.”

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for taking such good care of Lucy.”

She let go of my hand. Shoving hers inside the deep pockets of her coat, she pulled out a notepad and pen. With a slight lift of her shoulder, she smiled, making her warm brown eyes crinkle at the corners before scribbling the pen against the pad. “I love my job, and I especially love it when my patients are on the mend and can go home to finish healing.”

“I can take her now?” I hadn’t been expecting that.

“I think it’ll be all right. But be sure to call the office if it seems like her pain is worsening. Let’s head up front and I’ll go over everything with you while Linda gets Lucy’s prescriptions ready.”

“Prescriptions?”

“Yes. One for swelling, and another to help with the discomfort of bruised ribs. Now, let’s go over a few things…”

By the time I left with Lucy, I was loaded down with instructions, prescriptions, and Dr. Anna’s cell number in case of any emergencies. Lucy trotted out the door beside me, not leaving the vicinity of my side. Not nosing the air around her. She was completely and totally focused on me.

I helped her into the truck and then rounded the front, silently thanking St. Francis, patron saint of animals, for watching over Lucy. Both my girls had been in good hands, one of them sprung from the doctors, the other… the other would take a little more time.

When I pulled into the hospital, it clicked. There was no way I’d be able to sneak Lucy in past the nurses, let alone past security. Shit.

I didn’t like it, but I pulled back out of the parking lot and headed to the ranch.

* * *

“I told you I’d go check on her. If you would have just waited…” Lex scrubbed his hand down his face, stopping to cover his mouth as he shook his head.

“I woke up early. Figured I’d go check on her. I didn’t think they’d release her,” I said, pulling out the kitchen chair at the end of the table. Lucy stuck right to my side, putting her head on my lap with a sigh.

Lex dropped his hand, flipping it in our direction. “Look at her. Do you think she would have let you leave without her?”

I sighed, looking down at Lucy. She had to be uncomfortable the way she was half sitting, half leaning in order to keep her head on my leg. I moved from the chair, crossing the kitchen. Back resting on the cabinets, I slid down to sit on the floor. Lucy lowered herself slowly with a doggy groan, her head seeking my lap again.

“Now what the hell are you gonna do? Because you know she’s gonna kick up a fuss as soon as you try to leave her.” Lex plopped down in the chair I vacated. “She doesn’t know if you’re coming right back or disappearing again.”

I winced. “I’m not leaving again.”

Lucy’s ears picked up, twitching as I spoke.

Lex shook his head, crossing his arms as he made a half snort, half laugh. “I swear to God it’s like she understands everything you say.”

My shoulder lifted in a half shrug. “She always has. Why would it be any different now? I’ll stay here with her while you go talk to the police, if you’ll come back and keep her company while I go check on Gracen.”

He dipped his head. “I’ll do that, but I plan on stopping into the hospital to check on her before I come back here. You’re not the only one who cares about her.”

My eyes shot up to his, anger bubbling at what he said. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Not like that, asshole. I think of Gracen like a sister. I care about her, but not like you do. Speaking of caring about her… why the hell did you tear out of here so fast five months ago?”

I lowered my gaze. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He snorted. “Yeah, well, you might not want to talk about it with me, but you damn sure better talk about it with her when she wakes up. You owe her that much, Slade.”

I refused to look at him. To acknowledge what he said. I didn’t need him telling me what I needed to do when I already knew it.

Lex stood, saying, “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Lex,” I called to him before he made it out the door.

He turned, hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”

Something niggled at the back of my mind. Had been for a while, but it didn’t come to full thought until just then. “Gracen’s phone, where is it?”

“Probably still at her place. Why?” His head tipped to the side, eyes squinting as he asked.

“Just a thought.” I waved it off.

He left with a brisk, “Be back in a bit.”

Lucy sighed deeply, opening and closing her mouth with a wet smacking sound of contentment.

“You know this kills my tailbone, right?” She didn’t move, and neither did I.

* * *

When Lex came home a few hours later, he found Lucy and me crashed out on the floor. Both of us lifted our head to acknowledge him.

“Well, don’t you two look cute?” he said, dropping a grease-stained bag on the table.

I got up from the floor, pausing briefly to run my fingers through the scruff of Lucy’s neck. “Ready to eat?”

She made it to her feet with slow, stiff movements. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as I grabbed the pill bottles the vet had given me, figuring it would be easier to hid it in a yummy bite of burger.

“I stopped by the hospital. No changes yet, and the doctor’s not planning on taking her off the heavy sedatives until late tomorrow afternoon. I know you wanted to go see her, but they plan on having her in and out of her room for most of the day with a follow-up MRI and other testing,” Lex said, holding a fry out to Lucy.

She turned her nose up at it, looking past Lex to the bag on the table. Lex shrugged, popping the fry in his mouth.

I made my way to the table and sat with a groan. I’d really wanted to go and see her, but if she wasn’t going to be in her room, I’d stay with Lucy so that I could at least comfort one of my girls. “And what about the police? What did they say?”

“They’ve put a bulletin out for him. I doubt he’ll get far. Once they catch him, he’ll be transferred back here.” Lex popped another fry in his mouth, and then dug into the bag and handed me a burger.

“Bulletin,” I repeated, rolling my eyes. “He’s lucky I don’t jump in my truck and track him down. The cops wouldn’t have to worry about him, I can guarantee you that.”

“I’d help you dispose of the body. We can feed him to the pigs. They’ll even eat the bones,” Lex chimed in.

“There’s still time. Cops don’t have him yet,” I answered, grabbing the bag and pulling out the wrapped package marked ‘special’. Three plain hamburger patties were stacked one on top of the other.

“Betty found out they were for Lucy and tripled her order,” Lex explained.

I pulled the patty apart and tried my best to hide the pill before holding it out to Lucy.

Lucy took it from me, spitting the pill out on the floor. I picked it up and tried again with the same results. “I guess you’re not gonna make it easy, are you?”

She nosed my hand, looking for another bite.

Lex held his hand out. “Let me see that pill.”

I dropped it in his hand and broke off another piece for Lucy, feeding her an entire patty one piece at a time.

“Here.” Lex handed a chunk of burger to me.

I took it from him and gave it to Lucy. She swallowed it, looking for more as Lex handed me another burger. Lucy’s eyes tracked the patty movement across the table.

“Gotta keep her distracted. That and let the medicine get coated with burger grease,” Lex said, taking a bite from his own burger.

“Will you stay with Lucy tomorrow morning while I go up to the hospital?” I asked.

Lex sighed, mumbling past the food in his mouth. “Babysitting a damn dog. Sure. Why not?”