Chapter Eighteen
Matthew glanced down at the woman by his side. She was rather delicate, even in her coat, and he was embarrassed by the fear he had over speaking a few words to her. He reminded himself that she was a softhearted, caring woman, had revealed that many times over. She would do her best to be kind and gentle even if she felt she had to push him aside.
“There is our flock,” he said as they reached the top of the hill overlooking the grazing fields.
Abbie looked at all the white, black-faced sheep and smiled faintly. “They look nice from up here. I recall a boy I used to know who proudly took me to see the herd of cows he and his da were raising. The smell was horrible.”
“Weel, bigger animals, bigger stink. Although I think sheep can get pretty stinky. Different sort of stink. People who dinnae like the beasts are particularly sensitive to it.” He smiled. “Owen has gotten into a few fights over it. He doesnae always change his coat before heading into town. Tell the truth, I think he does that on purpose at times. It was cattlemen who cut his face.”
“Idiots. What is the use in fighting over what kind of animals you raise? But, then we have just spent four years killing each other. Whose house is that?” she pointed at the small cabin in the distance, painted green.
“That one is Owen’s.” He pointed to another one a few yards farther on. “The one painted red is David’s. He lives there with his wife. She is trying to interest Owen into marrying her sister.”
Abbie laughed. “Is it working?”
“Hard to tell with Owen, but he did once say he thought Amberlee was adorable when she got angry.”
“Amberlee?”
“Mother stuck her with it. She does have amber-colored eyes.”
“But why does Owen’s comment about her make you think he might be weakening?”
“It shows he is amused by the game. If all he is is amused, nay angry, then he just might be a bit interested.”
Abbie thought about that for a moment and then shrugged. “I just hope he isn’t mean to this sister.”
“Owen would never be mean or even rude to a lass, especially not a young lass with long shining black hair and huge amber eyes.” He took her by the hand and turned to head back to the house as she laughed.
“Oh, she sounds lovely.”
“She is.”
“I have to keep Noah,” she said abruptly but in a soft voice as if confessing some sin.
“Ye dinnae have to do anything.”
“Oh, but I do. I couldn’t possibly send him away. It was hard enough to leave him behind even though it was only for a while.”
He suddenly turned off the path to home and led her down another trail, helping her over the rocks and rough spots until they were on a flat grassy spot. Matthew spread his coat on the grass, sat on it, and tugged her down beside him. He wondered if he had the courage to speak out now.
“Explain this. Ye left the lad behind, but now that he has found ye, ye cannae send him back?”
“Yes, that is it precisely. I suppose you need to have a reason for what looks like a dramatic change of mind.”
“Aye, I do. Ye told the lad ye couldnae take him because ye had no home and no husband.”
“I know, and it was a very sensible decision.”
“I ken ye thought so. I am still of a mind to believe ye could easily turn aside gossip, just reminding people there was a war, which leaves orphans and widows.”
Abbie sighed. “I know it and, as far as Noah goes, I suspect he would tell them all about how he ended up alone.”
Matthew laughed. “With great embellishment.”
“Exactly. The boy talks well for his age. It is as if the first time he said a word he liked it so much he has tried to learn as much as he can. He listens to everything that is said. He is one of those children you have to be very careful around and watch what you say because he will absorb it and use it later, probably when you would really rather he didn’t. There is a part of me that is very sorry that I didn’t stay long enough to hear him try to convince me I was wrong.”
Matthew bit his tongue but quietly said, “Maybe ye were a little wrong.”
“Of course I wasn’t. Leaving him was wrong, certainly felt wrong, but the why I told him was not wrong.”
“Except that ye thought ye could choose a house without his help.”
Abbie laughed and flopped down onto her back, still laughing. “Little wretch.” She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. “I can’t send him back though. I just can’t. It was hard enough to leave him behind to wait.”
He rolled until he was settled comfortably on top of her and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “I ken it. Ye didnae have to. I told ye that ye were coming to my house.”
“It isn’t just yours though, is it? I could not impose upon all the others. And I was already toting one baby.”
“Weel, Jeremiah was easily accepted. Ye saw that.”
“Exactly. I saw it, but accepting a baby is a lot different than accepting a boy, one who loves to talk, explore, and ask questions. Lots and lots of questions, some rather impolite at times. I shouldn’t have left them with Emily.”
“Why not? She has two close to their ages and Noah appeared to like Ned weel enough.”
“He did, didn’t he? He wasn’t close to the other boys at Mrs. Beaton’s house.”
“Nay, but I think that was because they came together, and he came later. They were already a pair.” She looked around. “Where are we?”
“At the riverside. This is a nice grassy spot overlooking the river. I thought ye would like sitting here watching the river pass by as ye struggled with your thoughts. Ye liked the other one we sat by until the Rebs came and spoiled it.”
“That would be lovely, but I don’t see the river. I can hear it but not see it.”
“Ye have to get closer.” He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up beside him, and walked toward the edge.
Abigail was not quite so sure about it when he led her to the edge and she realized exactly where she was. The grassy spot was a ledge on a steep hill that went down to the river. She clung to Matthew’s arm as she looked over the edge. It was a long way down to the water and it was steep.
“I think this is a lot more dangerous than the other one.”
He started to tug her back to the ridge of land they had climbed down. “It isnae dangerous over here. Ye dinnae need to fear falling. Solid rock under our feet. We willnae go romp at the edge of the drop.”
Matthew sat down and tugged her back down by his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her close. This was a good time and place to speak of the future, but he suddenly could not think of a single word to say.
“I was wondering if it would be possible to take over one of the empty houses in town,” Abbie said. “I just wondered how that could work if the people came back.”
“It wouldnae be as safe as where ye are now. Ye would be a woman alone with two bairns.”
“But the war is over. Is that not what your brother said?”
“He thinks it is over. And even if it was over, these hills still hold more of the men who didnae seem to belong to either side or didnae claim loyalty to one or the other, just like to kill, rape, steal, and destroy.”
“Oh.”
She sighed and thought over the problem. Taking over one of the deserted homes would solve where she lived but it would not solve the problem of having two children and no husband. People’s thoughts always wandered down the wrong path, not the one that reminded them there had just been a horrible war that had left a lot of orphans who needed care. She knew she should not fret so over how such people judged her but also knew it would not be just her who suffered under their suspicions. Now Matthew was forcing her to see that not all the dangers would go away when the war ended.
“I have to find a place to live. Maybe I could go with Reid and Robbie. The barn is still whole and they are sure to be building a shelter of some kind.”
“Nay, ye will stay here with Jeremiah and Noah.”
“I cannot impose . . .”
“It is not imposing.” He pulled her into his arms. “Ye will be staying with me.”
“It is not just your home, is it?”
“We all own it so it is my home.”
“But . . .”
“We can take over one of the houses in the town if you are really bothered by sharing a house. Place is nearly deserted now. And several have notices that speak of the ones who died or where the people who were there went. Suppose one could contact one of them and make a deal.”
“I noticed that, too.”
Abigail snuggled into his embrace, savoring the heat and strength of him. He would probably think she was mad if she told him she even liked the smell of him. Clean skin and clean clothes. There was also that sense of being safe. She did not fully understand why as they were outside in an area that was overrun with marauders. They both had their guns, but she knew they could easily be outnumbered. So it was simply him; he made her feel safe.
She felt him spreading soft heated kisses over her face and sighed. They really needed to talk and when they started this they never got around to having any serious talk. It appeared it would be her who finally put her heart out there and prayed for the best. She had at least come to the conclusion that she did not need a husband, she wanted one, and this man was the one she wanted.
Then he grasped her chin, turned her face up to his, and kissed her. Abigail lost herself in the heat of the kiss and made no protest as he pushed her down onto the coat serving as their seat. She murmured her eager acceptance as he settled his body on top of hers. It was not until he tossed aside his shirt and undid the buttons of her bodice that she recalled they were outdoors.
“Someone could come by and see us,” she said, and even to her it sounded like a weak protest.
“No one will see us. I left my hat up there hanging on a bush.”
“And that matters how?”
“It tells any of the people going by that someone is down here and it stays private. The only ones who pass by here are my brothers and the Jones brothers. They ken what it means.”
“I see. So you have more or less announced to anyone we know that we are behaving badly down here so please don’t look?”
He frowned and looked thoughtful for a moment then nodded. “That’s about it.”
Abigail did not know whether she wanted to laugh or punch him so she just gave in to another kiss. She threaded her fingers into his hair to hold his mouth to hers. Only a small part of her was truly aware that he was neatly undressing her as they kissed. It was not until he shifted position to remove his pants and a cool breeze blew over her legs that she became aware of the fact that she was now completely naked.
Opening her eyes in shock, she was about to protest when she realized he was nearly naked himself. Her own embarrassment fled as she looked over his body while he yanked off his boots and socks. The man was all taut skin stretched over lean muscle. His scars did not detract from it at all. Then her gaze dropped to his groin. Unable to resist, she reached out to take him in her hand. A soft groan escaped him and he just sat there with his eyes closed as she stroked him.
He pulled her hand away and tugged her up onto his lap. Then, cupping her face in his hands he drew her face closer to his and kissed her. Abigail tightened her arms around his neck as she fervently returned his kiss. He smoothed his hands down her body until he grasped her by the hips and lifted her up. She groaned when he carefully slid her body onto his, driving deep inside her.
For a moment Abigail remained still, savoring the sensation of their joined bodies but then Matthew moved her, thrusting at the same time. It took her only a minute to gain the pace he set and she was soon riding him without assistance. He cupped her breasts in his hands, kneading them gently as she moved. When her release came, it swept over her so strongly she clung to him to steady herself. Then he began to thrust harder until he held her tightly against him as he emptied himself inside of her.
Clinging to him as she fought to catch her breath, Abigail allowed him to settle her back onto his coat. He then carefully pulled away and fell onto his back at her side. She was silently proud that she regained her breath faster than he did and sat up to dress herself. Just as she was doing up her chemise he sat up to pull on his shoes and socks then his pants.
As she pulled her dress on and began to button it she realized he had left her stockings on again. “You always leave my stockings on.”
He laughed. “Aye. I like how it looks.” He shrugged on his shirt and began to do it up. “Ye have bonnie little legs but they do look even more bonnie with those high white stockings with the ribbon garters.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” He turned to find her dressed and looking around for her shoes so he pulled her into his arms. “We will get a house. The more I think on it the more I like us having a place of our own but near everyone else. Might even pick a place around here and build one. There is one condition.”
“And what is that?” she asked with a touch of suspicion.
“Ye have to marry me.” He looked away. “I cannae be sharing a house with a single lady.”
Abigail was willing to swear that the man was trying to blush, and she nearly laughed. Then she sobered and took a deep steadying breath. She knew this was her chance to take a gamble and she prayed everyone was right.
“And I cannot wed a man who has no love for me.”
The way he whipped his head back around and stared at her gave her a tiny hint of hope. He did not look shocked or horrified, but surprised. Then he frowned and she wondered if she was giving away something with a look in her eyes.
“Why would ye think he doesnae?”
“Perhaps because he has never said so.”
“He did. Several times.”
“Really? Was I perhaps asleep at the time?”
He grimaced but then said, “Ye might have been. I didnae make certain I was heard.”
“I am awake now.”
“Ah, so ye are.” He pulled her into his arms and lightly kissed her. “I love ye, Abigail Jenson. And I also seem to have fallen in love with Noah and Jeremiah, though I think my love for the bairn needs a little nursing, will perhaps get stronger when he grows past the age of screaming in the middle of the night.”
Abigail laughed then kissed him. “I love you, Matthew MacEnroy. And how can anyone not love Noah? And we can live as close to your family as you wish. I am rather fond of the whole lot. But, a warning, with Noah comes that puppy, and I am really looking fondly at a certain kitten in your barn.”
“A cat? Ye do ask a lot of a poor mon. Fine. Maybe the dog will eat it.” He laughed when she swatted his arm. “I dinnae mind cats.”
She shivered and frowned up at the slowly darkening sky. “I think we best discuss this back at home.” She wondered why he grinned. “I believe there is rain coming.”
“I think ye are right.”
He stood up and pulled her up beside him. It proved a lot easier to climb back up the hill than it was to go down, and a few minutes later he boosted her up into the saddle and then mounted his horse. They both ran fast for his home but the raindrops started to fall slowly by the time they got inside the gates, then they ran for the house.
Once inside, Matthew debated the best way to announce that he and Abigail were getting married. He had never said a word to anyone about even considering asking her today so tried to think of a way to lead into the news slowly. Then he realized he should have a ring to put on her finger. He followed her into the kitchen where everyone was already gathering for the evening meal. Taking his seat, he tugged her down to sit beside him.
“Did ye ask her then?” Iain asked calmly as he put a few slices of beef on his plate.
“Why would ye ask me that?”
“Because ye went to that place. It is where Emily caught me. Ow.” He grinned and rubbed his arm where his wife hit him.
“No need to make it sound as if I set some huge bear trap for you,” Emily grumbled then blushed when he whispered something in her ear.
“How do ye ken I went there?”
“Jones brothers stopped by and mentioned the placement of the hat.”
Matthew looked at a blushing Abigail and shook his head. “Maybe we won’t put a house real close to these people.”
“Ye want your own house?” asked Nigel.
“Weel, there are already four of us,” Matthew said.
“So ye asked and did she have the wisdom to say nay?” asked Lachlan.
Abigail started to laugh. “Sorry, I said yes.”
Emily nodded. “So we will arrange the preacher and plan a wedding.”
“Oh, I don’t need any big celebration.”
“It will be big even if we only have the family, so don’t worry. Mrs. O’Neal loves arranging such things.”
“I really do and these past few years have provided only the rare chance.”
Before everyone could start to talk about the celebration, Abigail said, “I have something to ask before we all get caught up in planning. Can anyone draw well enough to make a drawing of Jeremiah? I need to write to Robert’s parents and thought that, if I could get some likeness of the baby, it would be a good thing to send them.”
“Ye still going to do that?” asked Matthew.
“I have to. I promised Julia I would. I told you, I have papers from her naming me guardian if there is some trouble, but I just cannot feel there will be.”
“I can do it,” said Iain. “Didnae used to be able to but practiced by doing some of our bairns. It willnae be done quickly as a bairn is a difficult subject but it willnae take too long.”
“Thank you. I will work on a letter as I think it may be more difficult to write than I anticipated.”
With that settled, Abigail let them toss around ideas of how to celebrate her coming marriage to Matthew. She had not yet gotten used to the fact that he loved her let alone that he meant to marry her. That was going to take a while. There was such a bubble of happiness inside of her, she was afraid she would break into a song or dance around the room if she did not keep herself in tight control.
Noah slipped up beside her and squeezed onto the seat next to her. He looked a little fretful and she tried to see this news from his viewpoint. She knew she always had to remember that he was a boy who had lost his entire family. That had left a few scars on his heart. She brushed his hair off his face and looked at him.
“What is the matter, Noah?”
“Are you leaving this house?”
“Oh, not for a while, darling. It is just something we thought would be good because we are already a family of four. Me, Matthew, you, and Jeremiah. And your puppy. And my cat,” she added in a whisper, and heard Emily giggle.
“I will still stay with you?”
“Yes, me and Matthew.”
She could almost see the tension in his small body leech away. He smiled at Matthew who nodded back then hopped down and rejoined the other children. She heard him tell the others that he was sure the new house would have a secret passage. She glanced at Matthew and he was staring at his plate as his shoulders shook with laughter.
“I’m sorry,” she said, laughter tinting her voice. “I will have a little talk with him.”
“Nay, dinnae bother. I think we will try to put one in.” He glanced at Iain who grinned and nodded.
She jumped a little when arms surrounded her from behind then glanced up at her brother’s grinning face. “Come to wish me congratulations or to punch him in the face?”
“Just wondering how I should feel that you are marrying a blue belly.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize that you might have become a true Rebel.”
He laughed. “Not by a long shot. The men who took me weren’t either. Not to worry, although you are stealing my traveling companion.”
“You can’t go riding about with a four-year-old.”
“I am five!”
“Five-year-old.”
“With big ears. Good luck, sis. Pleased to see you settled. Da would have liked him.” He glanced around the table. “All of them.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Robbie and I will leave soon after the wedding and start setting up to see what the chance is of having a cider mill.” He sat down beside her. “We have nearly all that is needed back on the land. The orchard, and the water.”
“Is this what you truly want to do?”
“I think it is, but we’ll see how it goes. Have to take a chance. It will work or it will fail. That’s life. And that is what I am really looking for. A life. This may well be it.”
“I will hope that it does and that it makes you happy.”
“No more than I do, darling.” He kissed her cheek and went back to his seat.
Matthew leaned nearer to her. “I think there is a plan already to build them a good shelter. Need to have something they can at least get cover in for when the weather turns harsher. Finishing might take longer.”
“It is a lot of work.”
“So was this. So was Mrs. O’Neal’s home. And the cabins for the Jones brothers. We have become quite quick and learned some shortcuts. And dinnae forget, when it isnae shearing time there are seven to twelve of us.”
“That is a good-sized crew.”
“It is, and a skilled one. There used to be a few men from town who’d lend a hand now and then too, kenning that we would return the favor if they needed it. Might not get ours until next year.”
“That is fine.” She lowered her voice. “I think Reid is more in need of a place.”
“Aye,” he answered in an equally low voice. “One thing most soldiers ache for while away is home. Ye have yours now.” He kissed her cheek.
“I do, don’t I?” She glanced toward the children’s table. “Noah! That puppy does not belong on the table.”
“I was just showing them how he can dance,” Noah answered and put the puppy down on the floor.
“I am sure they can see that just as well out on the back porch.”
“Okay.”
She looked at Matthew who was battling to hide a grin. “My family.”
“Aye, one with a dancing puppy. Cannae beat that.”
She laughed and shook her head. As they shared some freshly baked pie, she joined in on the planning for her wedding. It was still a bit difficult for her to believe, and she found herself doing more agreeing to someone else’s idea than making any of her own. By the time she sought her bed she was tired and, for reasons she did not understand, nervous and a little afraid. Abigail was in her nightgown and ready to crawl into bed when Emily knocked.
“I just wanted to talk alone for a moment,” she said as she stepped in. “Doubt Matthew will allow much more than that although I told Iain to keep him busy for a while. Are you sure about marrying Matthew?”
“Why would I not be?”
“I am married to one of these fellows, remember, and it can be a heady thing. And when one becomes intimate with a fellow it can make it even harder to know one’s own mind. I just wondered because you said so little when we talked about the wedding.”
“I didn’t really have any ideas. It is not something I have done and I have attended very few of them as well.”
“Neither had I, and I also rather let them run with it. Mrs. O’Neal is very good. I am not quite sure why I am wondering if you want this but there was something that troubled me.”
“It was a bit of a surprise to me. Perhaps that is what you sensed.”
“Ah. Shock.”
Abigail laughed. “Something like that. I had not expected it. He was talking about where we could all live then said he had a condition. I had to marry him.”
“Oh, and save his reputation. Poor boy.”
“So for some reason I decided to take a gamble and, believe me, I never do. I said I had a policy too, to never marry a man who did not love me.”
“And he said it?”
“He did and he claimed he already had, a few times. Naturally I scoffed.”
“I should hope so. As if any woman would miss that or not recall it.”
“I know. Told him he must have said it while I was still asleep. Then he looked a bit embarrassed because that was exactly when he said it. He even demonstrated how he mumbled it. So I made him say it clearly while I was wide-awake and he did. I am glad he doesn’t have the reputation of a tomcat but I got what I needed. I just never expected it and I think I keep worrying that somehow it will disappear.”
Emily hugged her. “I know just how you feel. Once done it passes.”
“Are you certain?”
“Oh yes. Because it is done. You are tied. It is forever, starting that day.”
“I guess that is it. Do you think they feel the same or is it just women who overthink the whole thing?”
“Well, don’t know if they feel the same thing. Some might. Some might just want to get the ceremony over. Men can be odd creatures.”
“Matthew might have a good reason to be nervous. He marries me and he becomes a father to Noah and Jeremiah. No idea what Jeremiah will be like, but we all have had a good peek at Noah and what he might be.”
“Noah is lovely. He will keep everything lively. An adorable boy.”
There was a knock on the bedroom door and a moment later Matthew entered. “Had your chat, Emily?” Matthew asked her.
“All done,” she said cheerfully and hugged him. “Good wishes for the future, Matthew.” She walked out and shut the door behind her.
“What’s this?” he asked, plucking at her nightgown.
“It is what one wears to bed.”
He stepped closer and then yanked it off her over her head and tossed it aside. “Maybe in the winter. When it is verra cold and ye want a little extra.”
Abigail tried to cover herself and hopped into bed, pulling the covers over herself. “So if the house catches on fire I can just run out naked?”
“At least ye wouldnae have to worry about flapping cloth catching fire,” he said as he shed his clothes and climbed into bed. “Was Jeremiah all right?”
“Just wanted to eat and be changed. The usual demands.” She squeaked in surprise when he pulled her into his arms then looked up to find him grinning at her.
“What are you looking so pleased about?”
“This. Soon it will be like this every night.”
“Even in the winter?”
“Depends on how bad the winter is, and you have those quilts. More blankets will help.”
She laughed and kissed him. That quickly led to more and Abbie willingly followed where he led. She decided there were many more advantages to getting married than she had considered.