Chapter Four
Looking up from her sewing, Abigail frowned as Julia slipped into the house. The woman looked extremely untidy, as if it was storming out, but a glance out the window told Abigail the weather was calm. There was a twig caught in Julia’s badly mussed hair and what appeared to be grass stains on her skirts. Considering the snow on the ground, she had to wonder where the girl had been. To her surprise, Julia snatched Abigail’s cape off the hook by the door, put it on, and walked over to sit down next to her.
“What have you been up to?” Abigail asked as she continued her sewing.
“I just went out walking with Robert.”
“Oh. It rather looked as if you fell down.” A quick glance caught the deep flush on Julia’s face.
“He was chasing me for fun, but I fell and tumbled down a little hill.”
“Of course.” Abigail tied off the thread and carefully studied another spot on the skirt of her gown.
“Robert wants to marry me. I said yes.”
“Probably a very good idea.”
“What are you doing to that gown?”
“Embroidering flowers on it. It has some spots along the hem I could not wash out so I am trying to hide them.”
“Oh, well, that will be pretty when you are done.” Julia frowned. “Yet this takes a lot of time, doesn’t it? Would it not be just as quick to make a new dress? I wager you can even get a green as pretty as that one.”
“I don’t think so. Cloth is very dear and rare at the moment. This war has caused a lot of trouble with that. Winter probably adds to that. It was difficult enough to get the colored thread.”
Julia frowned. “I had not realized that but then I have had no need of anything yet.”
“Trust me in this, Julia. I have been to the general store and the prices there make me wonder if this is a gold mining town.” She shook her head. “The owner is enriching himself, I am sure of it.” She readied her needle again and began to work on another spot.
“I need to go and rest. And warm up a bit. Is it our turn to help with the evening meal?”
“No, Barbara and Kate are to do it tonight. Just hang my cape up in our room. Best not to flaunt the grass stains.”
Blushing, Julia hurried away and Abigail sighed. She had a feeling her words had sounded like a condemnation to Julia. She would have to make it clear that they had not been. It was all too easy to understand Julia and Robert’s reckless behavior. Falling in love with a soldier was not easy, and the constant shadow of losing him at any time never left. She could only hope that they had considered all the possible repercussions, but there was something about Julia, something she could not yet point to as tangible proof, which told her it was already too late to avoid them.
She had only been at the house for eight weeks and she had seen more than she had ever wanted to of death, blood, and horrible wounds. What she had done for Boyd had brought attention her way. The doctor himself had come to request her help. She did not really mind even though some of the wounds had turned her stomach. Men could find a way to kill each other even in the depths of winter. The doctor was a good man, one who did not just hack off a wounded limb, and he fully appreciated the skills she had gathered while working with her father over the years. He had even confided that he now believed women should be able to study all that could make them a doctor if they wished to. Yet she found it sad and wearying to see so many young men injured or dying. Blue or gray, it did not matter. The constant waste of life was beginning to sicken her.
There was one bright side to it all and she decided she needed to fix her mind on that. She had also seen to the care of the women and children in the town. The doctor was expected to care for the soldiers so the women came to her. She knew they looked on her as a particularly skilled midwife but she did not care. It was work she was happy to do because the outcomes were mostly good ones.
Her days were busy, she was safe, she had work that kept her mind and hands occupied, and she had friends for the first time since leaving Pennsylvania. Only one thing troubled her. Where was Matthew? She had only seen him once since she had been put in this house, aside from his brief stop to check on her on the day she entered the house and give her a quick kiss. It was a brief visit about two weeks ago where they had shared coffee and little cakes and talked while all the other women in the room sat nearby pretending not to listen. He had stolen another quick kiss and she began to think they were just friendly things in his mind. She sighed and concentrated on her embroidery. Matthew would visit when and if he wanted to and she would cease to take his absence personally.
* * *
Matthew watched the Rebel camp through his spyglass. It certainly looked as if they were readying for an attack. Putting away the spyglass, he started to move back, careful to make no sound or disturb any of the bushes he was hiding in. It would take him a while to get back to where Jed waited with his horse and he really did not want to cover the distance with Rebs hot on his trail. He wondered how James was doing on his spying foray and hoped whatever the man saw or heard would match with what he had discovered. The very last thing he wished to do was return and lie on the cold ground to recheck what he had seen.
What he wanted, he decided as he stood and broke into an easy run, was to go and visit with Abbie. She fascinated him, he finally admitted to himself. She could shoot better than many a man and yet she painted flowers on a wagon. She dealt with stomach-churning injuries of soldiers, yet made certain little Noah would soon get a puppy to replace the one that had been killed with the rest of his family. She had kindly mended the tear in the sleeve of his uniform but then embroidered a snake over the signs of mending. He was still not sure how he felt about that.
His conscience told him he should go to a whore and rut until every last drop of fascination with Abigail was gone from his system. Yet he had no urge to do that. He did not know if he even wanted to pursue any woman, especially not one as properly raised as Abigail had been. The war made such a thing as courting a big risk, plus he knew he had been hardened by the war, and was not even the rough-at-the-edges gentleman he used to be. He was no longer suitable for a properly raised young woman, especially one who had lost so much to the war.
“Hey, sir! Over here!”
Matthew stopped, looked around, and finally saw Jed ride out of a thick cluster of trees leading his horse. “Ye had to hide? Someone come this way?”
“Two fellars. Rebs. Think they mean to spy on the town. Thought about just shooting them but was afeared the shots would bring us unwanted company.”
“It would have done. I suspicion the Rebel camp is close enough to hear them.”
“Saw a whole camp, did you?” Jed asked as Matthew mounted his horse.
“I did and it kept growing, raiders riding in and staying.” He nudged his mount into a slow walk. “Also saw a small troop of men with a wagon of supplies and a small cannon.”
“Damn, that ain’t good.”
Matthew sighed. “Nay, it isnae. I’m curious to see if James gets the same information.”
“I am thinking he might find that camp he went to watch is empty now.”
“Aye, and if so, it certainly points to trouble for us.”
Jed just nodded and Matthew sighed. They were headed for a battle. He was sure of it. There were not enough men in that camp to launch a full attack but they could start a skirmish that could cost the army and the town dearly. He would find the time to warn Abigail.
James appeared at their side. He looked sweaty and irritated. Matthew then looked at the man’s coat and frowned.
“Did Abbie fix that tear in your coat?”
“Yup.” James straightened his coat and Matthew shook his head when he saw a dragon over the spot where the mending had been done. “I rather like it.”
“I suppose it is better than a snake,” Matthew said, and James laughed.
They started riding toward the town while discussing what they had seen. James had discovered the camp he had been sent to watch was a lot smaller than it had been. Matthew suspected the men had come to the camp he had been watching.
“The fools even dragged their cannon off,” James said.
“I think I can say with some confidence that your camp has now merged with the one I was watching. The question is, what does it mean for us?”
“Trouble. Unless they are marching out to join up with the main army for some major assault,” mused James. “Hell, they could just be huddling together for warmth.” He grinned when Matthew laughed.
“We will have to keep a close watch as they are obviously planning something.”
His companions grunted in agreement as they rode toward the place where they bunked. Matthew went to the major to report all he had seen and left the man puzzling it out. He stood outside the major’s office and contemplated what he would do next. There was still a lot of the afternoon left so he decided he could do something with Abigail. Maybe a walk, he thought as he made his way to the bathhouse. It was cold but there was little wind so a brief stroll would not do her any harm.
* * *
Abigail helped Julia up the stairs and was not terribly surprised when the girl escaped her hold and raced into their room to throw up into a bucket. She did wonder when the bucket had arrived. Julia was hiding things, but Abigail had to let her know that she was not hiding it well. All the other women knew the girl was with child although only two had made any comment on it, and neither of those women had been harsh. The only one who appeared to be oblivious was Mrs. Beaton.
Wrinkling her nose at the scent of sickness, Abigail got a damp cloth and went to bathe the girl’s face after she lay down on the bed. As she gently bathed the sweat from Julia’s face, she noticed that when lying down it was very obvious that Julia was carrying a child. Putting away the cloth, she pulled the blanket up over the girl.
“Thank you,” said Julia quietly. “The sickness will soon pass.”
“I know. Julia, you are not hiding much from the other ladies here, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Julia asked, but revealed she knew well what Abigail meant by blushing deeply.
“Oh, I think you know, but I will make myself clear. About the only one in the house who does not realize you are carrying a child is Mrs. Beaton.”
Julia began to cry and Abigail sighed. She did not like to see her friend upset but knew there was nothing she could do to change the situation the girl was in. It was past time Julia faced some harsh truths and dealt with them as an adult. Women who got pregnant and were not married were treated like pariahs and the country tearing itself apart with this war was not a good enough reason for the judgment to treat Julia differently.
“How did they figure it out?”
“Well, you are beginning to show.”
“This little bump?”
“There is that and then there is your sickness and all those long walks you take with Robert even when winter has set in. It adds up and equals what ails you now. Of course, you could just marry Robert and no one would care. How far along are you?”
Julia sniffed and pulling a handkerchief from her pocket, gently dabbed the tears from her face. “I do not know.”
“When did you start getting sick?”
“Months ago. I feel like I have been sick forever but it has really only been a few months. I think I might be about three months along?”
“I suspect you are more like six months along.” Abigail frowned. “I would have thought you would be, well, bigger and that the sickness would have faded away.”
“From what I recall, most of the women in my family carry small. A lot goes to the hips and all. My mother used to like to say the babes nested sideways in a Hawkins woman.”
Abigail tried not to, but she laughed a little. “One way to look at it. May I feel your stomach?”
“Why?”
“Just to see if I can feel anything. Occasionally a good feel of the belly can tell one a lot.”
“Oh. All right.” Julia lifted her gown and lay still.
“What is this wrapping around you?”
“I was trying to make the bump less noticeable.”
“Well, do not do that anymore,” said Abigail as she unwound the binding. “It could do something to the baby.”
“Will the binding hurt the babe?”
“I do not really believe so, but I cannot think that tightening the area it needs to grow in is a good thing.” Under her hand Abigail felt the bump of a small foot and watched Julia flinch. “Now I understand those odd twitches you have developed. Babe is alive and moving. Do you wish the doctor to see you?”
“No. That would be akin to putting a big sign on the door, and I am trying very hard not to let the whole town know.”
Abigail pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down, taking Julia’s hand in hers. “Julia, you should tell Robert. Maybe he can find a way for you two to marry now and give his child his name. You can always have a fancier service to celebrate with his family when this cursed war is over.”
Julia frowned. “I suppose that would be a solution. It would not be all I had dreamed of but, you are right, it would name my child.”
“I know others have done it. Well, maybe not because of a child, but they have married a soldier during the war. Half the widows here are soldiers’ widows.”
“I know. I will talk to him the next time I see him.”
“Good. Then all you will need to concern yourself with is caring for the child you carry.”
Julia rubbed her belly. “Yes. That is for the best. I promise I will tell him. I see him soon, this afternoon actually, so it will soon be done.”
Abigail pulled up the blanket to hide Julia’s belly when she heard footsteps on the stairs. A moment later, Mrs. Beaton stood there. The woman just looked at Julia and frowned.
“Should I tell Mr. Collins that you cannot see him now, Julia?”
“Oh no, Mrs. Beaton. Please tell him I will be down in just a moment.” Julia cautiously sat up as Mrs. Beaton left. “He has come a lot sooner than I thought he would.”
“That is for the best. Quickly done and problem quickly solved,” Abigail said.
“I suppose.”
“You said he had already asked you to marry him and you said yes,” Abbie said as she followed Julia to the door.
“Yes, he did.” Julia straightened up, walking to meet Robert with her head held high.
Abigail studied the man waiting for Julia and decided he could not be much older than her. He was about a head taller than her and lean bordering on skinny. His hair was as raggedly cut and long as was James’s and a dark blond. When he smiled at Julia one could easily see why the girl loved him. There was a soft glow in his blue eyes that backed up the message in his smile. When the two of them went into the little parlor, Abigail walked into the main room and sat down, planning to wait until Julia and Robert called for a minister.
“She and that boy sitting in the parlor?” asked Maude as she came and sat down next to Abigail.
“Yes. No walk today.”
“Those two have walked one time too many, I am thinking.”
It was hard, but Abigail bit back the urge to laugh at Maude’s pointed statement. “They have a few serious things to discuss.”
“Oh, they most certainly do. Reckless children that they are.”
“Maude, you can’t be much older than either of them.”
“You are sweet. I am nearly forty, child. None of these boys running around here in their uniforms interest me. Got my eye on the major. Man has some time under his belt but is still a fine-looking fellow. A widower.”
Maude was a strong, pleasant-looking woman with thick black hair and bright hazel-green eyes. “He sounds perfect.”
“No man is perfect, love, not even that Scotsman who brought you here despite how much I love how he talks, but the major is a good man, a strong man, and that is worth a lot.”
“Yes, yes, it is.”
“My boy is still living although he is back East, out of the war, which I am very glad about. He was in for a short time but when he left it he went to train to be a doctor. He had worked in the infirmary and got a taste for fixing people. My girl got wed three years back just as all this nonsense was winding up. So, I am a free bird and I feel like making a new nest.”
She couldn’t help it; Abigail laughed and Maude joined her. They then began to talk about the lack of so many things. Soon Julia dashed into the room but came to a fast halt when she saw Maude.
“Spit it out, child. What is it you are so excited to say?” asked Maude.
“Robert is going to fetch a preacher.” Julia clutched her hands together and pressed them to her breast. “I hope the man hasn’t left town yet.”
“The minister was leaving?”
“Coward,” snarled Maude. “He says the war is too close. Seems to me it is the perfect time for a man of God to minister to his flock, but he is bolting.”
“That is shameful,” said Julia, truly shocked.
“He can get out of the war and he is doing it, as fast as his chicken legs will let him. I think he will find that, depending which way he heads, he might have chosen dangerously, however.” Abigail shook her head.
“That is a fact. Traveling anywhere is a risky business at the moment. I think the war is soon to be mostly south of us though,” said Maude. “The army is gathering on both sides down that way or our way. You know what I mean. Virginia, Georgia, and all that.”
“Okay. Let it all go there. Fine with me,” said Abigail.
“But my major will go.” Maude sighed.
“Then we will pray that he gets sent somewhere safe.”
Maude patted Abigail’s hand. “Thank you, child. And I will make sure he knows where to find me after it is all over.” Maude glanced at Julia. “And time for us to listen to this girl who looks about to jump out of her own skin.”
“I am going to marry Robert. I need to find a nicer dress.”
Abigail stood and took Julia by the hand. At times, it was hard to remember that Julia was the same age as she was. Too often the woman acted so much younger than her twenty-three years.
“Then we shall go find something.”
Maude stood up. “As soon as we know the lad found the preacher we will get some food together to have in celebration.”
“Thank you, Maude,” Julia said, and skipped over to kiss the woman on the cheek.
By the time Julia had decided on what dress to wear, Abigail was tired. The girl who had been weak with a sick belly was a bouncing bundle of energy at the moment. They finally returned to the sitting room and found it changed. The women had festooned the room with bits of bright cloth, some spring wildflowers that had bravely come early, and bows. They had also arranged the chairs to face a small table where the preacher stood.
Robert stood up quickly and beamed at Julia. He took her by the hand and walked her toward the preacher. Julia looked so happy, Abigail felt her eyes sting with happiness for her friend. She added a prayer that nothing would happen to Robert. One just had to look at Julia’s expression to know if this war took her Robert she would be crushed.
The ceremony was quick as it was obvious the preacher was anxious to leave. He stayed long enough to get money from Robert though and Abigail had to bite her tongue. The man looked at his position as just a job and had no real calling, she decided. They all gathered to wave good-bye to the couple as Robert took his new bride to the hotel. Abigail looked for Maude and found her next to the major who had come to stand with Robert. Laughing softly, Abbie went up to the bedroom.
It was going to be strange to spend a night alone but Julia would be back in a few days as Robert had to return to the war that disrupted and shattered so many lives. Abbie got a book from the shelf near the fireplace and sprawled on her bed. It was rather nice to be on her own. It had been a very long time she had enjoyed such quiet.
She was lost in the story when the bed suddenly jiggled and she looked around to find Noah sitting next to her. “What do you want?” she asked as she put a piece of paper in the book to mark her place.
“Is Julia gone now?”
“For a little while. She will be back when Robert has to go back to soldiering.”
“Oh. I hope he doesn’t get hurt like your friend Boyd.”
“I hope so, too. It would break Julia’s heart.”
“Wanna play a game?”
Her quiet time was done, Abbie thought as she sat up. “What game?”
“I have jacks.” He held up a small cloth bag.
“I am good at jacks.”
“So am I,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “Really, really good.”
“Well, we best get on the floor then.”
“Okay.” He scrambled off the bed and sat down on the hardwood floor.
“How about we sit on the carpet? It is a little softer than the floor.”
Abigail sat cross-legged on the carpet. Noah settled opposite and emptied his bag. It was a nice set with a wooden ball and iron pieces. She wondered how he had saved this from his past life since she doubted Mrs. Beaton had children’s toys scattered around her house. It was such a small thing but she was pleased he had something from the past. Then she settled into a serious game. For only a moment did she consider allowing him to win. When he revealed he did indeed play the game well, she stopped and got serious. When he still won, he leapt to his feet and danced around waving his fists in the air.
“You are right,” she said when he sat back down and grinned at her. “You are a good player.”
“I saved this.” He frowned. “I would rather have saved my puppy.”
“Did you take care of your puppy?”
“I did. I even got him to pee outside.”
“Very good.”
Abigail thought about the tiny puppy she had impulsively claimed and was relieved. It might be that there would not be too much trouble about bringing him to the house. She was going to have to get up the courage to talk to Mrs. Beaton about it for the animal would soon be ready to leave its mother. The woman holding the pup for her would be anxious for her to take it. It was going to be a battle to get Mrs. Beaton to agree but Abigail decided the boy’s happiness was worth it.
“Wanna play again or go back reading your big book?”
“I can play again. Have to gain back my honor, don’t I?”
He giggled and set out the pieces again. Abigail resigned herself to an afternoon of playing jacks with a boy of four. She guessed that there would be another game and another until he accepted her claim that she was done.
By the time he accepted her claim that she was done, Abigail had only won two of six games. The boy did have an admirable skill and it was a little odd for such a small boy. His coordination was good. The way he could concentrate on the game was also impressive. She stood up and rubbed his hair when he stood up beside her.
The boy finally went back to his own room and Abigail returned to her reading. She would have to remember to read to the children tonight, she decided. It was a good thing to do, for their minds and, she suspected, to ease their fears and sadness with something normal. She had noticed several of the women took some time now and then to talk or play with the children and Abigail could see the difference in them. There was a little less sadness in their eyes.
The problem was, too many of the women still clung to their own sadness. It made it difficult for them to deal with the children’s as well. She could understand for it was not just the loss of their husbands. It was the loss of the whole life they had: their homes and the possibility of children. As hard as Abigail thought, she could not come up with a way to ease all that.
Picking up her book she started to read and quickly lost herself in the story again.