Tatum

I slit my eyes open from the beautiful dream I was having when I feel I’m being watched. I shake my head as if it will erase the troubled thoughts from my mind. It doesn’t help. It intensifies and sends an arising shiver up my sides.

I know Sam has people all around, eyes peeling over eager lids to catch a glimpse of me being alone. An ambush on his behalf waiting to happen. This jolt throughout me is different than those seeking eyes at the end of my street. It’s as if my walls are trying to tell me something while watching me sleep. Definitely one of the weirdest sensations I’ve had.

Cruelty with strong perseverance to destroy me is what I feel. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. The anguish and chaos within these walls pulse white-hot within me and squeeze as if they are closing in on me. I have to get out of here before I drive myself insane.

“Calm down,” I gripe.

Taking several deep breaths, I come to the conclusion my mind is turbulent over everything I’ve been told, over the plague Sam inflicted on us, and what’s to come. Over the pain so clearly etched on Dean’s handsome face that he looked weathered and tattered when I left.

God, just thinking about it breaks me all over again. Pain digs her ugly claws into my chest. The pills of fear, guilt, and anguish are the toughest ones to swallow, and Dean has to be choking on all of them.

I’m sure this strange feeling has to do with me telling Erica all about our confrontation with Sam on the phone shortly after I came home, took a shower, and settled in bed to take a much-needed nap.

She was crazy worried about me. I relived one of the best and worst nights of my life while I did everything to try and ease her mind as well as staying off the subjects Dean told me. Plus, there are the people at the end of my street. All of them waiting to sucker-punch me in the gut on behalf of Sam.

That has to be why I feel off. Otherwise, after spending a beautifully chaotic morning with Dean, I wouldn’t be thinking about the man who is trying to make my life miserable. How he can have a handful of people in his back pocket when they are usually out for themselves beats the hell out of me.

My lips start to quiver. The floodgates are ready to burst open and cast me out to sea. I refuse to let them. I will not be broken down by a man who is having me followed. He’s not worth it.

“I hate people who only think of themselves. He is a cruel, bitter man,” I mutter, sit up, and catch my breath. Squinting as the afternoon sunlight brings a kaleidoscope of colors through the stained-glass suncatcher hanging from my bedroom window.

I study the colors of the rainbow as they flutter across my floor.

People resemble colors in a way, each one telling a different story. Hiding their true colors behind a parade of masks. Some are full of brightness, while others live a life of darkness hidden inside the lines they create.

It’s the same thing as those who are born good and always living a life full of bad. Such as there are people born bad and turn their lives into something good. Sam was born good, and somehow his life has turned evil.

“You need a distraction, Tatum.”

Deciding to check my suppliers for Easter candy. I climb out of bed, grab my laptop and a bottle of water, and start to make my way to the door when it flies open. A distraught Dean is pushing his way into my house.

“He’s fucking lying. This has Sam written all over it. Who the fuck else would do this?” I jump from the hostility dripping off the edge of his voice. His entire physique is stiffening with troubled anger that has me clutching my laptop to my chest. All I can think of is that something happened to Leila. My heart sinks at a snail’s pace to the floor. Cracking in half.

“Dean.”

Guardedly, I take steps closer, my mind trying to come up with the right thing to say to calm him down. He’ll never be the same if something happens to her.

“I’m with Tatum now. Let them plaster it all over the place. She did nothing wrong. And no statement, Marcus. Not a Goddamn word. They will not find out a thing about our personal lives.”

Relief sags my shoulders from the knowledge she isn’t hurt. Still, tension tangles my stomach into an unbreathable knot.

“Plaster what?”

Slowly, he pulls the phone away from his ear, tucking it into his pocket. The taut muscles in his jaw flexing. Dreadfulness strained from corner to corner covering his entire face.

“I take it you haven’t gotten on this thing?” He takes the items from my hand, places them on the table by the door, reaches up, and puts his hands on the sides of my face. They feel cold. The spark that usually spreads throughout me whenever we touch is gone. Replaced with a frozen pressure that prods like a thousand pins and needles hitting my skin.

Fear boosts my thoughts. The feeling when I woke crashes full force, and the look in his eyes has me backing away. His hands slip from my face. Ice clogs my blood. “No. I was going outside to work. Dean, what’s going on?”

I close my eyes. Pretend that if I don’t see his lips moving, I won’t hear what he has to say. There’s an identifiable shift in the air. It’s as if I’m having the sixth sense of being watched all over again.

“Tell me.” I open my eyes, take another step back, and choke on a sob. I’ve always loved the way Dean looks at me. Not this time. This time, he’s observing me as if he’s frightened I’ll run away after he tells me. His gaze moves across my face in search of the trust that tethers us together. He exhales sharply, drags his hands through his hair, and pulls it back from his face. He’s disturbed in a way I’ve never seen before.

“Someone took pictures of me and you on my deck. It’s running all over the web.” Something sharp and edgy scrapes down my throat when I swallow. I’ve heard all about people getting their photos taken and plastered everywhere for years. Photoshopping to make them look better, or worse.

Even back when Sam would find it funny, I learned to tune him out unless it was something I really wanted to hear. Like a famous couple having a baby, marriage. The happy things. The raggedy parts he thrived on sent me into an internal frenzy at times. When those times hit the gossip columns, he went all in on his radio show. Laughing. Gossiping. Turning people’s worlds upside down. I quit listening to him. When he came home, I tuned him out or pretended to listen when what I was really doing was feeling sorry for whoever the news had stuck their claws into.

Now it would seem he’s stuck them in me.

“What kind of pictures?” I croak out in a whisper. Sickness lines my gut. The reality of what he’s not saying drills into my pores. I want to vomit. Memories of what we did on that deck flood my head. My knotted stomach threatens to close off my windpipe. My world is thrown off balance. One minute, I was on top of it, and now these people think they can come in and dare to throw me off. I won’t let them defeat me.

“You’re topless, Tatum.”

We stare at each other for several heartbeats. His intense brown eyes fuse to mine. Gauging my reaction.

“Topless, that’s all?”

“That’s all, baby, I promise.”

“I want to see them.” I reach for my laptop, fling it open, and log on. The few seconds it takes for me to type in our names feel like forever. When I see the headline on the first link, I click on it, and I swear the floor opens up and extends an invitation to swallow me whole.

I scroll to the picture before reading the article. It’s not the best shot, but you can tell it’s me. Side boob on full display, arm stretched across Dean’s stomach. We look peaceful. Absolutely relaxed. My eyes scroll to the article. There’s nothing damaging to me at all.

“I’m sorry, Tatum. I have no idea how they got through security. Marcus is working on getting them taken down. I know this won’t ease your mind. Those sites are porn. Whoever took them either gave them or sold them to these people. So far, everyone he’s talked to has been cooperative. I promise they will all be down by the end of the day, or Joslyn will file a lawsuit.”

“I’m not wasting my time suing anyone. We both know who’s behind this, Dean. I don’t care what they say about me. I really don’t. It’s the invasion of our privacy that pisses me off. It’s the way you looked at me a few minutes ago that angers me. I’m not mad at you. I’m pissed off at Sam, at whoever took these. He knows I hated this kind of stuff. He’s nagging for one of us to talk. I’m not comfortable with my body being out there for the world to see, but I’m not running away from you because of it. And I’m sorry, but the more I think about it, the more I find this funny. So what? People see my boobs. Let them. You’re the one who said they were nice tits, not me.”

Turning to greet his gaze, I scan him from head to toe. His eyes are twinkling with amusement. His parted lips alluring. I want to tell him to shut his mouth about this and kiss me. To forget about it all. I certainly will the minute I’m done convincing him of what I see trying to resurface behind the deep lines on his forehead.

“They’re gorgeous fucking tits. I admire you, do you know that? Most women would be all over this. I called Leila on the way to give her the heads-up. She tried to ease my mind by telling me you might be embarrassed. You’re not even that, are you? It’s not that I doubt you. It’s everything. I find a woman who means something to me, and that fucker and his entourage are trying to destroy it. The thought of me losing you over this shit scared me. The first thing I thought when I saw these was getting to you before someone else did. The second was losing you because this is my world, it’s what they do. They stalk, they steal, and they get away with it. I didn’t even think about getting them taken down. All I cared about was seeing you. You’ve had no real exposure to this kind of thing. I told you I was a private person. This is invading my privacy. Our privacy.”

There are many ways I could respond to this bump in the road. To me, that’s what this is. I decide to go with the truth because that’s what Dean and I are all about. I’m not going to sit in my house and ponder away. I’m going to live. Fuck them straight to hell if they are going to take it away from me.

“Is that supposed to scare me away? Make me run and hide? I’m not. It might not be the last time they catch me indecent on camera, Dean. If I feel like taking my shirt off and jumping in your pool, pressing my naked chest up to yours, I’m going to do it. I’m going to go out with Erica, Leila, and Caroline this weekend and have a good time. I’m going to dance, act stupid, and maybe I’ll bend over so they can take a picture of my ass. I loved being next to you. Our skin touching. Our souls connecting. I’m not changing the way I am. They are pictures, Dean. Pictures speak louder than words, and I’d bet anything if we take a good, hard look at them, they are going to show two people who are crazy about each other. Let them print what they want. They could have called me all kinds of names, but they didn’t. They could dig into my past, and Sam could tell them anything he wants about me. That wouldn’t bother me either. I get you are trying to protect me. I care about you all the more for it. I’m telling you this does not scare me away, Dean. Nothing is going to.”

Dean clears his throat around a deep chuckle. “Nothing, are you sure about that? Would it scare you away if I said your temper turns me on? How about if I said I want to toss you on your bed, eat the sweetness between your legs that one taste already has me addicted to. Watch my cum leak out of you and drip down your thighs. Feel your silky walls hug my cock with nothing between us. I’ve lived in solitary hell for a long time, Tatum. You’ve shown me a slice of heaven, and now I want the whole damn thing.”

My stomach dives for another reason. My world is beginning to upright itself again. I can’t think straight when his mouth hits the delicate spot pulsating on the side of my neck. I can’t conceal the sound that escapes my throat if I tried. It’s greedy and needy.

“No, it wouldn’t scare me at all. I’ll gladly give you all of me, and it won’t cost you one cent.”

It might cost you your big heart. I want it, and I’ll stop at nothing until I get it.

My toes curl, my nipples pucker. My legs shake as hot yearning spreads out inside of me. With his dirty words yet very little touch, he has me forgetting what he came here for.

My eyes roll briefly as he slides his hands down my arms, twines our fingers together, and holds them at my sides. Energy taps on my skin the way it should when we touch. God, how could he ever think I would want to walk away from feeling like this?

We’re frozen in time; our uneven drive down this road will undoubtedly get rockier from here. It’s all going to be worth it in the end.

“I have never met anyone more irresistibly perfect than you. I think about your well-being all the time. I want you in my bed, in my house, and it’s fucking driving me to the point of insanity that it’s too early in our relationship to want anything from you.” The affection dripping when he speaks breaks down the door to my heart completely.

“It might be too early for some of those things; it’s never too early for you to care, Dean.”

He releases my hands. Slowly and almost deliberately, he teases the bare flesh of my thighs, circling erotically up my shorts until he’s dipping below the waistband and kneading the cheeks of my ass. He has me mesmerized. The only part of him touching me is his hands, his fingers as they slip down the crack of my ass. “I’m going to have this, you know. Fuck this ass, claim it as mine. The same way I want the world to know I’ve claimed you. When you go out, you keep this covered. Get me?”

I nod. My vocal cords are heated over. I’m aroused by what he’s doing. He’s taking my wetness and spreading it around the rim of my hole. If the man thinks I’m driving him crazy, he should climb inside of my head. I’ve gone completely mad for him.

“Well, if those pictures are any indication, I think people already know you’ve claimed me.”

His answer is to press his thumb inside of the place he stated he wants. I tense briefly. Relaxing when he snakes his other hand up my back, pulls on the ends of my hair, and runs his tongue up my neck at the same time his thumb glides in further.

“Oh God. Dean.” My body melts right into his hand.

I don’t have a clue how he manages to do what he’s doing. He continues to stimulate my pussy with the quick in and out of his thumb, swirls my wetness around my core, and presses my clit. My skin burns with an urgency to let go and spin out of control, losing myself in the pleasure only he brings me.

My breathing becomes heavier. The walls between my legs close in, and this time, I welcome it as my orgasm climbs higher and higher with every intrusive movement he makes.

I’m met with a cocky smirk along with something large and demanding when he pulls me into him at the exact same time he thrusts his hips forward.

Leaning my head against his shoulder, I let the comfort of his arms warm my skin, enjoying this moment. There aren’t any cameras in sight in here. We can act and do as we please.

“I can imagine there are a lot of women jealous of me right now. If anything, my store will be busier.”

Come hell or high water, I’ll do whatever I need to make him see I’m not going anywhere. Not when we’ve come so far in such little time.

For the first time since my life spiraled downward, my head is clear enough to think out logical thoughts. I’m falling hard and fast for this man. If there’s anyone in this world who doesn’t like it, they can fuck off. It’s none of anyone's damn business.