CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MAYBE HAD JUST tied her running shoes when she caught sight of Rada’s car pulling up next door.
As no one was watching, she curled her lip, needing to get it all out of the way before she went outside. If they saw her, she’d have to say hello, even though Rada must have known how Maybe felt.
They did it for Irena, she supposed. But it still agitated her.
So she took a deep breath and waited like a coward for Alexsei’s ex to go inside before she headed out.
It took that dumbo another five minutes to gather up all her crap and finally get herself into the house, but Maybe breathed a sigh of relief, prepared to wait another minute or two, just to be certain.
“Why are we peeking out the window like old ladies?” Rachel asked as she entered the front hall.
“Rada just pulled up. I’m waiting for her to be gone before I go out.”
“Fuck her. This is our house in our neighborhood. You go wherever you want, whenever you want. Alexsei is all about you, so don’t even think she’s got a chance.”
“I don’t. Not really. It’s just. She’s always around. And no, I’m not jealous of that part. I do believe he’s all about me. But she takes him for granted and he automatically responds when she tells him she needs something. I don’t even do that. Who does that?”
“They were together for a few years. She’s been besties with Vic’s baby sister since they were both kids. There’s little chance she’s just going to disappear from his life. And that means from your life. You should say something to her,” Rachel told her with a shrug.
“It’s not her though. I mean, yes, she’s annoying and pretend-helpless and that makes me livid. But he’s the one who has to deal with this. Not me. I just have to pull up my big girl panties and find a way to get used to it. At least while he and I are dating.”
“Stop talking about this relationship like it’s anything akin to what you’ve had before. It’s not. You know that. I know that. Hell, Alexsei knows that. Chances are Rada does too and that’s why she’s being clingy in front of you.”
“I’ve only been dating him a month. It’s not like we’re working on a two-year anniversary or anything.”
“You’ve known him and been into him for two years. I mean, like, you really know him and from what I can see, he seems to know you too. So. Stop with this nonsense, or at the very least, save it for someone who isn’t me. I’m not blind and I’m not incapable of seeing what’s so totally true. Now, go work out. Be careful and don’t play your music so loud you can’t hear what’s going on around you.” Rachel tried to say the last with nonchalance. It nearly rang true.
Maybe knew her sister struggled with wanting the people she loved to be careful and safe and knowing it wasn’t totally possible to always be. That there were predators out there who would strike if and when they could. So she’d made Maybe take a self-defense class and because of all the baked goods they constantly consumed being in the Orlovs’ orbit, running had become Maybe’s exercise of choice. It kept her busy and in shape. It didn’t cost a lot other than good shoes and she could do it in a lot of places, weather situations and times of day.
“Gotcha.” She couldn’t ask Rachel to come with. Her sister only ran on a track at the health club she was a member of. It was an issue of comfort and neither sister messed with that.
Satisfied that she was safe to escape the neighborhood without any Rada interaction, Maybe listened to her sister lock up after her and put her head into exercise, leaving the house and Alexsei’s ex at her back.
* * *
A FEW DAYS LATER, Alexsei was surprised to see his mother’s number on the display of his ringing phone.
“I don’t know why I need to hear from my sister that you have a serious girlfriend,” his mother started in with rapid-fire Russian the moment he answered.
“I told you a little about her when you were visiting last. It was very new then.”
“It’s new now! You break up with a nice Russian girl to be with this, what is her name? It’s not a real name, it’s whatever it is. Artistic probably.” His mother said the last as if she’d stepped in something smelly.
“Her name is Maybe. And I didn’t break up with Rada to be with anyone. I’ve been broken up with her for nine months now.”
“Maybe? What kind of name is that?”
“It’s a nickname. It’s not as if Russians don’t constantly use nicknames, Mom.”
“You don’t even know this girl’s given name?”
He sighed, but kept it as silent as he could. “I do know her given name.” He’d seen it on her application and over the years, she’d told him the story of how she’d come by Maybe as a nickname.
“What is her name that she’s so ashamed of it? That she would dishonor her parents?”
“You don’t know anything about that,” he replied, aware that his tone was sharp. No matter. He wouldn’t let anyone talk about Maybe’s parents like they were the victims.
She clucked her tongue. “If I don’t it’s because you didn’t tell me. So tell me.”
Damn it. She had him.
Chastened, he went on, “Her given name is one she hates. It’s an old-lady name. When she was a toddler, someone asked her, Is your name Gladys? and she replied with Maybe. And her older sister started calling her Maybe from then on and it stuck. Now you know.” He wanted his mother to understand Maybe was special.
“I don’t know why you’re taking that tone with me though.”
This time his sigh was audible. “She does not disrespect her parents. They are awful human beings. They disrespect her at every turn and she takes it because she loves them in her own way and because she wants to be sure her sister still sees them and never has to choose.”
His mother was quiet for a few moments. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not sorry that you finally got mad with me because of this girl. I’ve waited a long time to see this.”
“See what?”
“You! Worked up with your mother to defend the woman you’re in love with. You never did so with Rada. I never thought she was good enough for you anyway. I suppose this Maybe isn’t either, but the heart wants what it wants.”
Love?
He started to argue and realized it was futile. Because he was absolutely in love with Maybe Dolan and because his mother didn’t want to be argued with. She knew she was right. And so did he.
“You will not ask her to marry you without talking to me first. I want to meet her and judge her myself.”
“I’m not asking her to marry me any time soon and the next time you visit you can meet her then.” He’d have years to prepare for that eventuality, thank goodness.
“I’ll come in the spring. You shouldn’t be old when you have children. You’re already thirty. How old is she?”
Wait, what?
“Spring?”
“Yes. I promised Cristian and this time I’ll bring your sisters too. You didn’t tell me how old she was.”
“Twenty-seven. There’s plenty of time for all that. But not right now. We’re dating. No marriage. No babies.” Not yet. One day, he could see making a life and a family with Maybe. But there was time and he’d need it to seduce his little rabbit into admitting she loved him too.
“I realize I’ve not called as much as I should. Your aunt reminded me of this fact. You know how much I hate it when she’s right and can chastise me fairly.” His mother made a dismissive sound. “So the call works both ways. I expect you to check in with me more often. And then you can introduce us over the phone. Your Maybe, I mean. Then it will be easier when we meet in person.”
With that delivered, she chatted about his sisters, her new furniture and some traveling she did with her husband. She didn’t invite him for Christmas because he couldn’t risk a trip back to Russia and neither could Cris. Their biological father had been political. His death and their subsequent emigration to the United States made them far too political to risk it.
Until that point, he hadn’t really wanted to anyway. Not since he was eighteen or so. But he found himself missing his mother in a way he hadn’t in years.
And he knew he had his aunt to thank. His aunt who was far more a mother than the one he spoke to over the phone. She liked Maybe. That much was clear or she wouldn’t have mentioned her to his mother.
All that brought a smile to his face all morning long at the shop as clients came and went.
At ten, she came in like a brilliant sunset. He couldn’t help but smile as she bustled through, hanging things up, greeting everyone, accepting hugs as she dropped things off with various folk until she got to his station.
“You changed your hair.”
She grinned and worried the piercing in her lip a little. “I was feeling up for something new. What do you think?”
Reds from brilliant to orangey layered all through. She’d used product to create a pomp with a rocker edge. The reds mixed with pinks, giving it texture.
“I like it. Did you do this yourself?” He made a slow circle, pretending to look only at her hair but also taking in the whole of her. Letting himself soak in the vibrance and warm energy she always carried with her.
“Yeah.” She ran a hand up the back of her head.
“Sit. You’re very messy with the back. Why didn’t you ask me to do it for you?” It wasn’t really a mess, but he was a perfectionist and he liked getting his hands on her any time he could.
With a smile, she handed him a cup of tea before settling in and letting him get the drape on.
“Why do you have that face?” He tried gruff but failed as he adjusted his clippers.
“The face came with the body, dude. What can I say?”
“Oh you think you can tease your way around this slaughter you’ve made back here?”
“I love it when you get gruff with me. You know that right? Anyhoodle, yes I know I make a mess back there. I’d planned on asking you to trim it up when I got here but you bossed me before I could.”
He leaned down to brush his lips against her temple. “Good morning, Maybe. I like your new hair color. I’m very impressed by the color application.” He ran his fingers through it.
“Good morning, Lyosha. I’m glad you like my hair.”
He turned on the clippers, loving the hum.
“I like it when you call me that,” he said quietly.
Her lips curved into that smile she showed only him.
“Don’t go too short. I’m growing it out,” she told him before sipping from her mug.
No. His mug.
“You’ve stolen my tea.”
“I know. I’m a rebel. Plus it tastes better when it’s been purloined. Man, your aunt spoils you so much. She even sweetens your damn tea.”
“It’s her way of saying she loves us. With every loaf of bread, every cookie and cup of tea she can freely love with abandon. She may not speak it out loud all the time, but she says it every day just the same.”
He made quick work of the trim, deciding right then he’d be the only one to cut her hair from then on.
He told her so as she checked out the back of her head in the mirror.
“And you should start to do color here. You’ve suggested it before. I know. I agree. Get me some pricing information and a supply list and we can work out the details.”
Her features lit. “Thank you! That totally makes my day.”
“I meant it when I said your work was good. You can command a good price so don’t underestimate yourself with that.”
She strolled across to her station, taking his mug with her. Most likely his aunt knew Maybe loved sweet black tea and that’s why she’d sent a thermos of it over just half an hour before with Vic.
“I’m new at it though,” she said of the coloring.
“You’re so confident at so many things. You know you’re good at your job. Why do you shy away from pride there too? Well-deserved pride.”
Her parents had done this to her, Alexsei was sure. All that constant criticism of what was an essential part of who she was had worn her down in ways she didn’t even realize.
He kept silent his snort of derision at the thought of her father and the things he’d said to Maybe at Thanksgiving.
She just kept sipping her tea.
“I assume you’re not arguing because you know I’m right,” he told her. Certain. Also knowing he could goad her into answering.
Her snicker made him feel better.
“It’s not a calling. I’m not saving people’s lives or finding missing kids. I’m good at cutting hair.”
“You’re very good at it. And why do you do it then?” Because he knew for certain it wasn’t just for the money.
“It pays my bills. It has a benefits package.”
He just kept staring at her until she went on.
“Okay. I like that something so simple can totally pick up someone’s day. A haircut, a tube of lipstick, some new nail polish. Little things that are like a treat. It’s nice to think I’m a part of that. Talking to my clients is fun. Mostly. I learn new stuff every day. All in all, it’s a good way to make a living.”
“I agree. So it’s more of a calling than you give yourself credit for. And on that really wise note, my next appointment has arrived.” He turned, waving the guy over and letting her chew on what he’d just told her.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER Maybe grabbed her phone and headed out for a fifteen-minute break. She really just wanted to call her aunt and not be overheard, but the walk, even in the misty rain, would be a nice benefit.
“Hey, Robbie,” she said when her aunt answered.
“Hey there, sweetie. How are you? I was just talking to your uncle about Christmas plans and thinking about you and Rachel. I’m hoping you’re ready to tell me how Thanksgiving went because your father sent me another one of his emails about the importance of family and getting you in line.”
She’d only told her aunt that it had been a really unpleasant scene and they’d left early, not trusting herself to tell the story without crying.
Robbie, being the amazing listener she was, had allowed the avoidance after Maybe promised to tell her the whole of it when she was ready.
So she did as she walked, avoiding collisions with other pedestrians and the occasional car when she crossed the street. Letting herself unload on her aunt, knowing it didn’t hurt her to hear it. She could unburden herself without guilt the way she couldn’t with Rachel.
Even Cora was hard to fully reveal things to because she loved both Rachel and Maybe so fiercely, she wanted to make things better immediately. And Maybe needed not to have to manage anyone else’s emotions right then. Her own were more than enough.
At the very end, Robbie swore a long string of words that would have scored the hide off her dad if he’d been within hearing. “I figured it was something like that. I’m sorry. He is who he is and he’s always been that way. It made him a great soldier and a good cop. But a pretty piss-poor father.”
“Rachel stood up to them. Not just for me, but for herself. They were so used to her being perfect and obedient they didn’t know how to react.” Maybe laughed. It’d been amusing in its own weird, screwy family way.
“She needs to stay strong or he’s going to steamroll her. I sure wish you two were over here, where I could see you more often. Protect you from him. You’re everything about him that he hates.”
“Gee. Thanks, I guess.”
“You know what I mean, don’t you? He’s a person who needs certainty to the extent that change or any challenge to the status quo is hugely upsetting for him. You’re spontaneous and funny. Full of light and humor. He just doesn’t know how to love you. Pity, because you’re so worthy of love, Gladys, my darling.”
Maybe let herself exhale long and slow, breathing back in, taking with it the scent of the Sound, briny and slightly metallic. She’d needed that. Needed the words.
“I love you, Robbie.”
“I love you too. Aside from that situation with your parents, how are you? How are things with Alexsei?”
“He lectured me a few minutes ago. Even wrapped it up with a cleverly done example at the end to spank me just a bit. He got me to see what I do in a different light,” Maybe explained. “My dad did that to me my whole life, well, the lecture part, always telling me what I should feel and how I should act. It feels similar, and yet not and I don’t know if I can handle a guy like him. Alexsei’s just so, ugh, he’s just one of those people who makes decisions. People trust him. They seek his opinion. He barely says anything but what he does say is oddly poetic. It’s... I’m pretty gone over him.”
“It doesn’t sound to me like it’s the same at all. I give you lectures and pep talks too. You listen to those and still make your own choices. That you listened to him and then adjusted your way of looking at something? That’s important. For you both. You don’t trust easily, baby. And I know why.” Tears came into Robbie’s voice. “Damn it. Sorry. Anyway. You trusted him enough to really hear what he was telling you and he knows you well enough to earn that trust. Being understood and listened to is important.
“It completely makes sense that you’d end up with someone with a very strong personality. Someone stable and yet charismatic. Strength of character, strength of will is not the same as bullying people. You know that or you wouldn’t be with him. He’s not my brother, Maybe. Your Alexsei sounds a lot like you, only less talkative. Which is good. Bring him over for Christmas if he’s free. We’d like to meet him.”
“I don’t know if I...if we’ve been together long enough for me to invite him yet. Let me think about it?”
“Of course. The invitation is open so just let me know. And Maybe? Your sister doesn’t need you to keep banging your head bloody against a brick wall. You’re allowed to protect yourself.”
“She doesn’t need any more stress over this whole thing. Just over the last six months she’s come into her own. She’s more confident in her decisions. She’s building a career for herself at the tattoo shop. I’m just trying to give her some cover until she’s stronger. It’s not that I think she’d expect me to take crap from our parents. I just don’t want her to have to think about it and be upset.”
Robbie clucked her tongue but eased back. “If only people knew what a big smooshy marshmallow center you had. Just think about what I said, okay? I accept what you’re saying about protecting her until she’s stronger. She needs to do this herself at some point. I just worry about what else my brother is going to do to get his way and how it’s going to hurt you.”
Maybe did too. But it helped having her aunt at her back. Knowing she was appreciated and loved. Accepted for who she was made all the difference in her life.
By the time she returned to Whiskey Sharp she was in much better spirits and ready to get back to work.