CHAPTER 10
Avril
For all my talk to Andrew and Dane about not being weirded out by my shenanigans in a sex club, I find myself completely weirded out.
Saturday night at the club with Kynan and Dane was the most amazing sexual experience of my life. That night was so surreal, starting with that woman on the dildo machine in The Silo. Just watching that had me so worked up and wet that as soon as Kynan got me out on The Deck, he made me come with just a few strokes of his fingers down in my panties.
Then he put me on my knees.
With his cock in my mouth, fresh off a stirring orgasm and the power flowing through me, it was provident that Dane would come out there and watch.
I have to wonder would I have ever had the guts on my own to invite Dane to join us, and I think probably not.
But Kynan whispered just a few wicked words in my ear. “Look at Dane. Look at how much he wants you. Invite him to play with us.”
And I was beckoning him over.
It was amazing. The feelings both of those men produced in me were overwhelming, and I was completely lost to passion that night. But having Dane in my mouth… touching him so intimately and in a way I could have never imagined, that right there is what made it the most amazing experience ever.
But now I’m weirded out, and I’ve hardly been able to look at Dane this morning. We’ve been in meeting after meeting, and I’ve kept my eyes averted. I’ve typed on my laptop, pretending to make fastidious notes. When I’ve had to address people in the meeting, I did so without ever looking at Dane.
Kind of like I’m avoiding looking at him now as John McEntyre, our chief financial officer, goes over the quarterly reports with me and Dane. I follow along by keeping my head bent over the table in the small conference room we’d commandeered for the meeting. I know I’m being cowardly, which is the exact opposite of how I was acting Saturday night when I let two men have me at the same time.
The memory of that causes my face to flush, and I risk a peek up at Dane across the table from me. John’s voice drones on about fiscal anomalies, and my gaze moves up slowly.
My entire body jerks as I find Dane’s hazel eyes pinned on me, and they convey so many emotions all at once. Without him ever needing to open his mouth, he’s saying many things to me.
About damn time you looked at me.
I expected better of you. You said we were good.
I knew this would complicate things.
But it doesn’t have to.
And Christ but I want to bend you over this table and fuck you hard.
Yes, his expression tells me all those things. He’s angry, confused, and filled with lust even as we sit here listening to our CFO talk numbers.
As my gaze drops back down to the printed reports, I press my legs together under the table, the sudden rush of wetness reminding me that despite how weird I feel about things, my body still very much wants Dane.
John goes on for another twenty minutes. Dane asks a few questions but I refuse to look at him while he speaks.
When the meeting wraps up, I quickly gather my stuff to head out the door behind John, but Dane brings me up short with a few commanding words. “Avril… I need to see you in my office to go over a few things.”
“Can it wait?” I ask as I straighten the reports, which is a lame excuse of a thing to do to avoid eye contact.
“No, it can’t,” he says, and then he turns for the door. When he’s gone, I let my breath out in one massive rush, but it only amplifies the way my heart is pounding.
I could ignore Dane because it’s not like he can just fire me for insubordination. That’s not how our partnership works.
Or I could polish my brass lady balls and go down to confront the awkwardness I’m feeling.
With another sigh, this one regretful but resigned, I tuck my materials under my arm and head down to Dane’s office. The door is closed, and his secretary looks up at me with a smile.
“Mr. Hawthorne’s expecting you,” she says pleasantly, but I feel like I’m marching to my doom.
I manage to give her a confident smile back before I turn the knob to push his door open.
My eyes go to his desk, but Dane isn’t there. I step in and as I’m moving to shut the door behind me, Dane is revealed, standing right there. He pushes the door shut, his hand closing over mine on the handle.
I feel like my heart is thundering in my chest. We stare at each other for all of two seconds before his hands are on my face and he’s pulling me to him for a kiss.
I groan so loudly I’m worried his secretary heard me and yet that doesn’t stop my fists from gripping his shirt to pull him closer to me.
“Fuck,” Dane whispers into my mouth before filling it with his tongue.
He kisses me with brutal aggression, and I know he’s partly pissed I’ve been refusing to look at him. He’s pissed because I made things weird today, and I suspect he’s also bent out of shape over the fact he’s feeling compelled to kiss me right now.
Dane moves a hand to the back of my head where he wraps it around my ponytail. He kisses me deeper for just a moment before pulling on it so our mouths disconnect. I get a glimpse of wild eyes before I drop my gaze.
“Fucking look me in the eye, Avril,” he growls.
I want to look at him, but I can’t. I’m so afraid I might see condemnation for inciting him to act in a way he might be regretting right now.
“You’ll fucking look at me,” he warns before he releases my hair, and then he’s lifting me in his arms. He walks over to his desk but rather than sit me on it, he places me on my feet. I wobble slightly, almost falling as my knees go weak when he roughly yanks my skirt up.
My chest starts heaving over his aggressive demeanor and my sex starts to throb. Somewhere deep inside of me, there’s a tiny voice telling me to put a stop to this, but I ignore it. As much as I’ve fallen prey to the lust inside The Wicked Horse, this is a million times more seductive, and the danger makes it even more appealing to me. That voice tells me my friendship with Dane is at risk, but my body shuts that shit down fast in its reaction to the man.
Heart racing, lungs barely functioning, and with soaking wet panties. A tremor of fear over us getting caught is also added into the mix, and I feel like I’m ready to explode.
Dane easily picks me up and sets me on the edge of his desk. Leaning into me, he reaches past me to push his laptop back, but otherwise, his desk is pretty pristine. He’s got a little bit of OCD in him. One of my favorite pastimes is to come in and mess his desk up sometimes before he gets into work by turning stuff slightly to drive him nuts.
He puts a hand to my chest and pushes me down until my back hits the desk. Then he’s yanking my panties down my legs, only bothering to pull them free of one leg. I can feel the lace resting over the top of my foot.
In all this time, I’ve refused to look at Dane’s face. I’ve concentrated on the feelings instead.
But when his hands go under my thighs and he pulls my legs wide, my eyes snap up to him.
“Looking at me now, aren’t you?” he taunts with anger and defiance of the precarious position he’s put us in at this moment.
“Dane,” I say softly, but then gasp as he drops to his knees and works my legs over his shoulders.
I can’t bear to watch because I know the image will ruin me so my eyes go to the ceiling.
“Look at me, Av,” Dane whispers, and I can feel his breath blow over my flesh. A shudder ripples through me at his proximity, but I refuse to take my eyes off the ceiling.
My hips shoot upward when I feel his tongue press lightly against my clit, which contrasts starkly to his domination of me so far. I grit my teeth to keep from whimpering and close my eyes. Bracing for his mouth to attack me, my entire body goes rigid with anticipation.
Instead, I feel his hand back in the center of my chest for just a moment before he’s fisting the material of my silk blouse and pulling my torso off the desk. My eyes fly open in surprise and then go to Dane as he kneels between my legs.
His eyes are burning and his skin flushed. Tilting his head to the side, he brushes the corner of his mouth against the inside of my leg and that stupid, rock-star goatee tickles slightly. My leg jerks from the touch, and that causes Dane to give me a salacious smile.
“You watch, Avril,” Dane says as he gives me a little shake where I’m suspended from his grip on my blouse. “Put your fucking elbows on the desk, spread your legs wide, and you watch me eat your pussy.”
I suck in a lungful of air, and I can feel my heartbeat pulsing in my clit. My eyes are locked onto Dane’s, and right now, I’m not sure it’s possible to look away.
“You watch your best friend eat your pussy,” he continues. “Just the way I watched you suck my dick. You watch and you be okay with it like you promised.”
“Dane,” I say again softly, but this time, it’s with apology for the mess I’ve created.
“Just watch,” he says more fiercely. “You opened this door, I walked in, and, apparently, I’m not walking back out. So just watch.”
His last few words come out almost as a plea if I’m reading him right, and because he’s my best friend and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him, I can only nod my acquiescence.
“Good,” he murmurs just before pressing his lips to my clit.
“Oh, God,” I moan as my hips jerk from the sensation. Dane releases his grip on my shirt and before I can fall back, I plant my elbows into the desk so I can stay tilted enough to watch him.
The pleasure is beyond intense and because I’m so worked up by Dane’s aggressiveness, I can feel an orgasm already starting to bubble.
I have no control over my body and my hips start flexing to meet his tongue, writhing desperately for more contact from him. He won’t give it to me, though, moving his mouth and lips to deny me more than the soft licks and sucks he’s giving me.
“Please,” I beg him for more.
Instead, he pulls his mouth away and his eyes come to mine. “Christ… what are we doing?”
I blink in surprise over his moment of doubt when he’d just been so sure. Before I can say anything though, he shakes his head and mutters, “Never mind. We’re doing what feels good.”
And then he dives back down, and this time I don’t have to move an inch to get more contact. He attacks me with purpose, and that’s to get me off hard and fast.
I’m caught in a maelstrom, my brain warring with my body. I know Dane is right there with me, yet there’s no hesitation in him right now. He devours me whole with his mouth, works my clit magically with his tongue, and when he presses two fingers inside of me, my hips shoot up as my back arches with pleasure. The orgasm thunders through me, and I bite down hard on my lower lip so I don’t scream. It doesn’t stop the long, low moan that filters through my teeth, and Dane groans in response to me.
He lifts his head to look at me, the expression on his face somber and defiant. “I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“Why should you?” I retort harshly, because I also detect a bit of admonition in his tone as if I caused all of this. “I just came spectacularly.”
Dane gives a sigh as he stands and stares down at me. I feel completely vulnerable with my skirt around my hips and my legs spread wide before him. So, I push at his chest for him to back up, and I slide off the desk. Dane turns from me as I manage to awkwardly get my underwear on and push my skirt back down. I have to tuck my shirt back in, wondering how presentable I actually look. Will I pass muster when I walk by his secretary on the way out?
I head for the door, but I’m stopped with Dane’s hand on my elbow.
Looking over my shoulder at him, I merely cock an eyebrow.
He sighs again and pulls on my arm so I’m forced to turn and look at him.
“I’m sorry,” he says gently, and every bit of fight and tension seeps out of my body.
There’s no hesitation. I merely step into his body and wrap my arms around him. Dane’s never been one for hugs and cuddles, but to my surprise, he reciprocates. It’s the easy hug of a friend—albeit most friends don’t press their erections into your belly.
I try to ignore that, though, and ask him, “Are we going to be okay?”
Dane gives me a squeeze before pulling back so I’m forced to look up at him. “I don’t regret that. Or what we did two nights ago. I wanted it badly, and it was better than I could have imagined. It’s just sex though, Avril. And you’re the one who wouldn’t look me in the eye today, so maybe you’re the one who needs to figure out if we’re going to be okay.”
Turning inward, I focus in on the feeling low in my gut. Yes, there’s an uneasiness, but when I truly reach deep, I don’t feel regret.
“I’m okay,” I tell him, keeping my eyes locked on his so he knows it’s the truth. “No regrets.”
“And going forward?” he prompts, which causes me to pull back slightly from him.
“I hadn’t thought that far,” I admit. “What would this be? Friends with benefits?”
“Best friends with benefits,” he clarifies with a wry smile.
Even though Dane just gave me one of the biggest, strongest, and longest orgasms of my life and my body is telling me to accept, I have to pause. It’s one thing to prowl The Wicked Horse to indulge in all my fantasies in a guilt free, leave-it-all-behind-when-I-walk-out-the-door kind of way, but can I really do that with Dane?
I already love him as my best friend and the risk is that I would end up loving him as something more. It’s a huge risk because Dane isn’t built to love back so completely.
His mom died in childbirth. After five years of living with a drug addict father who neglected him, he was placed into the foster care system. As such, Dane is a solitary man. He has trust and abandonment issues. He’s thirty-nine years old and has never once been in a committed relationship. If I fell for him, it would not be returned.
The question is, can I prevent myself from falling for him…
“Let me think about it,” I tell him.
“Of course,” he responds almost politely, but what he’s really conveying is there are no hard feelings if I can’t go forward with this.