Bear didn’t spend the night last night and I actually missed him, but I had too much to do this morning to dwell on it. Janice was coming for an early dinner, a fact that Bear wasn’t so excited about, but I didn’t give a shit about his lack of enthusiasm.

He explained to me that they were cordial, but he’d never been able to work his way into her good graces. He fucked up when she was a kid, and for that, he had to pay penance and make amends.

We all make mistakes as parents. Most aren’t as big as his, but it’s our responsibility to set things right. When I called Janice to ask her over, I thought she’d decline, but she jumped at the chance.

Maybe she was ready to forgive him. Maybe she wanted to tell him off. It didn’t really matter. My only goal was to get them in the same room and let them sort their shit out.

“Janice,” I said as I opened the door to the most beautiful pregnant woman I’d ever seen.

She smiled brightly with her hands resting on her belly. “Fran.”

“Come on in, sweetheart.” I stepped to the side, giving her enough room for her belly. “Aren’t you a beautiful creature?”

“Thanks.” She peered around the living room and frowned. “Is he not coming?”

“He’ll be here. He’s really excited about today.” I lied as I closed the door, but I didn’t want her to think otherwise.

Her eyes grew wide. “He is?”

I nodded as I walked up to her. “He’s missed you. Does he know you’re pregnant?”

She shook her head and glanced toward the floor. “No, I haven’t told him yet.”

“He’s going to be a grandpa.” I couldn’t contain my excitement at the thought of little ones running around the house.

“Yeah, I guess he is, technically.”

Ouch. One thing I knew was that Bear loved his kids, even when he couldn’t take care of them.

“I guess so,” I said softly. “Would you like to sit down, and I’ll get you something to drink?”

“That would be great. My feet are killing me,” she said as I wandered into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

When I walked back into the room, she sat on the couch, clutching her stomach again. “How far along are you?”

“Eight and a half months, but I feel as big as a whale.”

I handed her the glass and sat next to her. “I remember when I was pregnant. I was miserable for the entire nine months.” I laughed softly. “It probably had more to do with my husband than my son.”

The timer on the oven beeped just as there was a knock at the door. “Come in!” I yelled, knowing it was Bear, but I headed toward the kitchen.

I couldn’t fuck up this meal. Everyone knew I was a shitty cook. Maria gave me some homemade sauce to make lasagna. It was the one thing I could cook without fail, but usually, I used some jarred shit from the store. She’d insisted that only the family recipe would do for such a special occasion.

After I took out the lasagna and set it on the stove to cool, I tiptoed toward the living room and watched Bear and Janice from a distance as they stood in the center of the room.

She smiled up at him, a hint of a little girl mesmerized by her dad showing through. He placed his hand on her belly, his eyes bouncing between her face and the point at where their bodies were connected.

“Janice,” he said with a sad, soft voice. “I’m so, so…”

“I know, Dad.”

“No, baby, you don’t.” His hand moved away from her stomach to her face. He cupped her cheek in his palm, rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

Her eyebrows drew together, but she did nothing to move away from his touch. I didn’t dare move or intrude on their moment. They needed this time. Their relationship had been severed, and words needed to be spoken without me in their presence.

“Let’s sit.” He guided her toward the couch, his hand gripping her elbow in case she tripped. “We need to talk about something that I’ve put off for too many years.”

I looked back at the lasagna and shrugged. It could wait—that was the best thing about this type of meal. It was pretty hard to fuck up and only got better with time. So thankfully, it would still be edible.

Even though I knew it wasn’t right to eavesdrop, I did anyway. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from them. She looked like him with eyes that were the color of gray clouds on a rainy day. Her dark hair shimmered in the sunlight, streaming through the window behind her. He still had a smattering of the identical shade in his, but the white had started to overtake the darkness. Even the roundness of their cheeks matched. Somehow, even though they had so many similarities, she was feminine and petite while Bear was big, burly, and hard-looking.

She sat down, smoothing her dress down with her palms. “What’s wrong, Dad?”

“Nothing, Jan. We’ve never had a talk about what happened, and I need to talk to you now before it’s too late.”

Her hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes widened in horror. “Are you dying or something?”

He shook his head with a faint smile visible beneath his beard. “Not today, but I’m getting older.” His large hand pulled hers down from her face. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“No. This needs to be said.” He pulled in a shaky breath and then began to speak. “Your mother and I had you when we were young, probably too young to really be parents, but we made the best of it. We loved you so much and never let you leave our side. God.” He took another deep breath. “I loved Jackie so much. I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else. We were crazy for each other. So much so that Ret came less than a year after you were born.”

Janice placed her hands over his. “I heard that from Aunt Caroline. She said you two couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. She called it undignified.”

“She would say that,” he grumbled just loud enough for me to hear. “We loved you so much we couldn’t wait for another baby. My world revolved around my family. I can’t describe how much I loved your mother, because I’ve never felt that way about any woman in my life.”

My eyes suddenly filled with tears. I shouldn’t be jealous of Jackie and the way Bear loved her, but a tiny, greedy piece of me was and probably always would be. It was hard to compete with the memory of someone taken too soon, even if it was almost thirty years ago.

“Your mom and me had big plans. We wanted to have at least four kids. The more, the merrier because you were such a great baby. We wanted an entire house full. We wanted to build a house in the country and just have our own piece of heaven with no one else but us.”

“That sounds…” Her voice trailed off.

“Yeah,” he said in the sweetest voice, and I could almost feel his longing and heartache. “When she went into labor, it never even crossed my mind that she could die.” His voice cracked.

Seeing him like that, choked up and in pain, wasn’t the Bear I’d always seen. He was so full of life and jokes that no one saw the pain hidden beneath the surface. Only in fleeting moments when we were lying in bed would he confide to me all the regret and sorrow he had about his past. He missed Jackie and loved her to this day, but his biggest regret was his children—Ret and Janice. He never got the chance to be a father, to teach them how to do things, and to be there for many of their biggest life firsts.

He clutched her hands tighter, and his shoulders slumped forward. “When it happened, I was in shock. I refused to believe she was really gone. I barely remember the following days. They passed in a blur because my mind couldn’t comprehend that she was actually gone.”

“I wish I could remember Mom,” Janice said to him, her face softer than when they had first started talking.

“I saved a box for you.”

“You did?” Tears welled in her eyes and quickly trickled down her cheeks.

“I did, babygirl. I had to save some of your mom’s stuff so that someday you’d have a piece of her with you.”

“Dad,” Janice whispered and placed her hands over his.

“I was a shit father. I know it. I’m not making an excuse for how I acted, but I want you to understand the depths of my despair. Seeing you now, with that baby in your belly… It should be a happy time for me. But it’s not. I’m scared for you. Frightened that you’ll be like your mother, and I’ll lose you too.”

She smiled softly before wiping away a tear before it fell from her jaw. “I’m fine. The doctor said everything is good, so don’t worry.”

“Aunt Caroline watched you right after it happened. She knew I couldn’t look after you two because I could barely take care of myself. I thought I’d heal and be able to move on, but I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough,” he admitted. “I was mad at the world. I hated God and couldn’t fathom why he took Jackie from me…from us.”

“Things happen. We can’t control them.” Her hands twisted in her lap as she stared down at them. “But why didn’t you come back for us?” She dragged her eyes to his, and the pain in them was heart-wrenching.

He grimaced. “I wish I had a reason that sounded right, but I don’t. Nothing can justify what I did. I went off the deep end when the dust settled. You kids were being taken care of, and I got mixed up in some bad shit. I had a death wish after losing your mom. I wanted to be with her so bad that I didn’t care if I had to die to do it.”

“Dad,” she gasped. “That’s horrible.”

“But you kids would’ve been fine. Or at least, that’s what I told myself. Not long after, I ended up in jail for a bit, and when I got out, I didn’t see a point in coming back into your lives. Caroline told me how well you both were doing, and we both decided it was best I stayed away. I couldn’t argue with her either.”

The tears in my eyes dropped down my cheeks as I plastered my back to the wall. I couldn’t imagine walking away from Morgan, but I also couldn’t imagine the pain Bear went through losing the love of his life.

“It’s my biggest regret in life—not being there for you kids. I should’ve been a stronger man. I should’ve been a better man. But your mom made me better. I don’t know how to make it up to you and Ret for being a shit father.”

I peered around the corner, unable to stop myself.

She scooted closer and placed her hand on his arm. “You can be here for us now, Dad. We’re always going to be your kids. Just because we’re grown doesn’t mean we don’t need you.”

“Babygirl, what do you need me for?”

“Everything. Jeff left me. I’m all alone with the baby on the way. I’m so lost with no one to lean on. Aunt Caroline is great, but you know how she is.”

“I’ll kick his ass,” Bear barked, his body growing rigid.

“Don’t bother. He’s not worth the jail time. I need you more than I want his ass knocked out.”

“Whatever you want, Janice. I’ll do anything you want or need as long as you give me a shot at making up all our lost years.”

I smiled, still hidden behind the wall as they embraced. When I invited her over, I’d hoped they’d make up, but I never thought it would be this great. I busied myself in the kitchen, tinkering with the table settings until they were done. Luckily, the lasagna was still warm, safely covered by aluminum foil and ready to be devoured.

When they entered the kitchen with their arms locked, I melted a little bit inside. This big, hunky tough guy had transformed into someone else—someone better.

“Ready to eat?” I asked, transfixed by the image of them together.

“I’m starving, Fran. Thanks for having me today.” Janice glanced up at Bear and rested her head on his chest, leaning against him. “I finally feel like I have my dad back.”

“Awww, honey. He loves you.”

Her smile widened. “I know.”

“Sit down, and I’ll serve everyone,” I said, grabbing the spatula.

Bear helped Janice sit and then came to my side. “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll have to thank you later.” He waggled his eyebrows, and I giggled.

“Not in front of the kid,” I whispered and glanced at her out of the corner of my eye.

“How do you think she got that way?” he smirked and grabbed my ass.

I swatted his stomach with the hard plastic utensil. “Behave, big boy.”

“I will for now, but when the kid goes, all bets are off.”

“Salad?” I asked with a strangled voice, unable to hide my excitement.

“No, I’m craving meat,” Janice replied.

“Me too,” I mumbled, catching Bear’s eye.

He smiled easier, and his entire being felt different…lighter. Usually, my meddling brought headaches, but for the first time in a long time, I did fuckin’ good.