CHAPTER 24
Hannah
I pull a hanger holding a lavender-colored shift dress that I’ve had since before Hope was born out of my closet. I think I bought it to attend a spring picnic at Nelson’s company.
I’m fairly sure the style is still relevant, and it’s in decent shape since I’ve only worn it a handful of times over the years. Incredibly lucky to have lost all the weight I’d gained with my pregnancy, I don’t bother to try it on. Instead, I move to the bed and lay it across the top of the pile of clothes I’ll keep.
I’m moving this weekend to a new apartment. After which, I’ll start my new job at Knight Investment Group on Monday. I’m terrified and thrilled at the same time. And it’s sad to say, but at the age of twenty-seven, I’m finally feeling like a full-fledged adult. I’m single momming it with Hope and I’ll be working in a professional job, which gives me a nice boost to my self-esteem. Another thing I’m grateful to Asher for.
“Mommy,” Hope says as she comes into my bedroom, holding up one of her dolls. “I can’t find her pink dress with the sparkly stuff on it.”
“Hope,” I say in a stern voice as I turn back to my closet. “You’re supposed to be putting your toys into the boxes.”
My daughter walks to my bed, finds a space without clothing, and flops down dramatically. “It’s so hard to pack. Can you help me?”
Since my back is to Hope, I can let loose the amused smile that comes to my face. I really didn’t expect her to do much, but I thought it was good to give her some responsibility in helping with the move.
But bottom line… she’s five and would rather play than pack, and that’s something I’m cool with. I don’t want her growing up too fast on me.
“I’ll help you finish tomorrow as it’s getting close to your bedtime,” I say as I pull out a floral-print skirt in pastel colors. How did I end up with such light colors in my closet? Was I a sweet and timid woman, which is how this clothing is making me feel?
I personally feel like I’m more edgy.
Definitely sexy after some of the clothing that Asher has had me wear to The Wicked Horse.
Still, I put it in the “keep” pile. I need to have as many “work” clothes as I can because I can’t afford a new wardrobe.
Turning to Hope, I say, “Go brush your teeth and get your jammies on.”
“Okay,” she chirps and hops off the bed. She clutches her doll under one arm, the pink sparkle dress completely forgotten.
“Thanks, honey,” I murmur as she runs out of my room. I’m not sure if all kids are like this but Hope always seems to run to wherever she’s going, especially if she’s on a mission. Perhaps that’s a sign of motivation.
I pull out a few more outfits, deem one to be worthy of keeping and put two into the donation pile. It’s a pain in the ass to have to pack up this house, but I’m using the opportunity to purge a lot of stuff. I’m lightening up because I’ve got a fresh start.
The apartment I found is incredible. It’s about ten minutes from my new job and fifteen minutes closer to Asher. It’s in a great school district and by all reviews, it’s quiet and safe.
Leaving my packing, I head down to Hope’s room. I like to get her to sleep by eight, but it takes a bit of unwinding so I have her jammied up and teeth brushed by seven thirty. Our bedtime ritual is always the same.
My daughter scrambles under the covers and I pull them up to her chest, tucking them in tight around her.
“Mommy,” Hope says in a tone that says something’s on her mind.
“What’s up, buttercup?” I reply playfully.
She doesn’t smile. Instead, she asks in a hesitant voice, “Will I have to go back and live with Daddy?”
“You mean like full time?”
She nods, her face a mix of hope and fear.
“I don’t think so, honey,” I tell her carefully. “You’re with me now, but you’ll visit Daddy on some nights.”
“I don’t want to go back there to live,” she says fiercely. “He never pays attention to me. Always just has me watch TV while he works or talks to his girlfriends.”
I internally wince at the plural of “girlfriend” as I know Nelson has had a revolving door and it was confusing to Hope.
“And if he’s not working or with a girlfriend, he’s always looking at his phone,” she continues.
What in the hell is wrong with my ex? How could he think anything in the world was more important or interesting than his own daughter? I could just stare at her for hours while she slept, because that’s better than anything else I could ever be doing.
“I won’t let it happen,” I vow to her. “You’re with me forever. You’ll still spend time with Daddy each week, but your home is with me, okay?”
“Okay,” she says with a relieved smile, and I hope I can keep that promise. I have no clue if Nelson would ever go back on his deal with me, but I would bleed for my daughter not to go back to him. I think he loves her, but not the way I do.
“Make your picks,” I tell her, and she names the three books she wants me to read tonight.
After I massage her imagination with tales of princesses, Pooh, and wild things, I turn out her bedside lamp. Her room still glows as we have two night lights plugged in and she wants her bedroom door open and the hall light left on.
Ever since Hope was a baby, I’ve sang her to sleep. I don’t have the best voice in the world, but it’s apparently soothing as she usually barely makes it three songs before she’s out.
Settling onto the side of her bed, I place my hand on her chest as I start to sing. She always watches me carefully with big solemn eyes. Her lips curve into a sleepy smile, and I’m no more than a few lines into the third song before her eyes grow heavy and close. I continue singing until I hear that deep steady breathing that shows she’s out, and then I lean over and brush my lips against her forehead.
I will never, ever take this time with her for granted. It’s the most special part of my day.
Quietly standing from Hope’s bed, I ease out into the hallway. Just as I’m back in my closet, looking at the next outfit, I hear a knock on the door. It’s sharp and demanding.
I go cold for a moment because in the year I’ve been living here, no one has ever come to my door after dark apart from that one night Asher came by when I was sick. The wise people in this neighborhood go indoors at night, and the only ones out usually are the troublemakers.
Without hesitation, I retrieve my shotgun out of the locked cabinet in my closet and quickly check to ensure it’s loaded. I know it is, but still… always check.
Padding softly to the door, I quietly lean in and put my eye up to the peep hole. My entire body relaxes all at once to see it’s not a gang member—not that they’d ever knock on my door if they wanted something—but rather my ex-husband.
I unlock the door and open it. “What are you doing here?” I ask curiously, then move to the side as a silent invitation to enter.
“I came by to see Hope.” Nelson rolls his eyes when he sees the gun. I ignore his dismissal of my need for security and say, “I’ll be right back.”
It takes me just a few moments to put the gun back in the cabinet and return to the living room. This is the first time Nelson has ever been to my home.
I find him surveying the boxes I’d already packed up.
“Hope’s sleeping, and I don’t want to wake her,” I tell him. He pivots towards me, and I add, “And it would be nice if you called ahead of time. It’s disconcerting to have someone knocking on my door at night when I’m not expecting anyone.”
He doesn’t acknowledge my request, just says, “Looks like you’re moving.”
“Yeah,” I reply with a sigh. Same old Nelson, not even listening to me. “An apartment in a better neighborhood now that I can afford to.”
“Because of my hefty child support,” he grouses.
I let it go, choosing not to fight with him. It’s just not worth it, and I don’t want to ever rock the boat.
Nelson’s gaze moves past me into the kitchen, which is also covered in boxes—some packed, some empty. The counters are covered with all the pots, pans, and dishes I’d pulled out to pack.
His face hardens, and I know what he’s locked eyes on.
The flowers I received today from Asher. And not just any flowers, but a massive bouquet of stargazer lilies and freesia that smells divine.
“Now who could be sending you flowers?” he muses out loud in an almost suspicious tone as he brushes past me. I sigh with impatience as I watch him stalk into the kitchen. What the hell does Nelson have to be suspicious of? We’ve been divorced for over a year, and I’m well within my right to date. Moreover, I can’t figure out why he would care. He’s moved on to other women.
I hold my tongue because with Hope sleeping just down the hall, I don’t want wake her. She’s seen enough of her parents fighting to last a lifetime, and I don’t want to subject her to it anymore if I can help it.
Nelson snatches the card off to read, and my skin flushes.
Not with embarrassment that he’s reading it, but because of the actual words that were written. It’s the same flush I felt when I read it this afternoon when they were delivered. The warmth it produced was unlike any I’d felt before.
Ever.
And I felt cherished beyond measure. I also realized Asher was making a very concerted effort to “date” me, even though it wasn’t something he’d aspired to do. Hell, he’s even going to help Hope and me move on Saturday, which I never asked him to do. In his bossy way, he merely told me he was going to come help.
Nelson’s eyes roam the words on the card, and I can see them in my memory since I’d read it probably a dozen times.
I’m missing you. Thought you should know. Asher.
“I knew it,” he says in triumph as he tosses the card on the table.
“Knew what?” I ask, completely confused.
“That you were fucking Asher Knight,” he says, and it is in a totally gloating way. He’s clearly not jealous or offended. He almost sounds like a guy who has bet money on something.
“I’m sorry… what?” I manage to say, just not understanding what’s going on.
Nelson swaggers toward me, his face a mask of superiority. “Your boyfriend came to one of my jobsites the week before last and offered me a guaranteed project on one of his properties if I agreed not to fight you on custody.”
There’s no stopping the way gravity pulls my jaw downward.
Nelson seems to think it’s awesome that he gets to inform me of some perfidy Asher has committed. “He told me you were a ‘valued’ employee, but I knew that smelled like bullshit. No one leverages millions of dollars for a goddamn secretary or whatever the hell you do for him.”
Oh, Nelson… if only you knew what my job actually entails.
He smugly stares down at me. “What do you think about that?”
I tap my finger to my chin and gaze up to the ceiling thoughtfully, as if I’m putting effort into pondering how egregious this might be.
When I bring my eyes back to Nelson, I say, “To be honest, I find it incredibly sexy he’d do that for me. I’m going to have to give him a very big thank you when I see him.”
Nelson’s complexion goes from white to purple, totally bypassing red. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it because nothing comes to mind. I can see it in his eyes… he’s offended I’m not offended.
But why would I be? Asher did something so incredibly thoughtful to save me a world of misery. I could never be mad. I might be a little worried since he now has to do business with Nelson, but I figure Asher is a big boy. Besides, if there was a battle between these two men, I’d wager everything on Asher.
“So typical of you, Hannah,” Nelson spits out before pivoting on his foot to leave. He stomps through the house, then pulls the door open.
“Call next time before you come over,” I call out after him.
He flips me the bird over his shoulder before walking out and slamming the door behind him. I wince and hold still to see if it woke Hope. I don’t hear anything, so I mosey to the door and lock it.
My phone is in the kitchen, so I go grab it. I sit down at the table where I can smell the fragrance of the gorgeous flowers Asher thought to send me.
I dial him and settle in, waiting for him to answer. It only takes two rings before his rich, sexy, and confident voice says, “This is a surprise.”
What’s even better, it sounds like he’s happy about it.
“Nelson came over,” I say. “He felt the need to tell me how you offered him a project if he wouldn’t fight the custody.”
“Asshole,” Asher mutters.
“You didn’t have to do that.” My words are soft but filled with emotion.
“It was nothing,” he asserts. “I just figured to speed up the process of what I’m sure was going to be the same outcome.”
“But you gave him a huge project,” I say, the worry in my voice clear.
“Your husband may be a douche, but his work is good. My company has contracted with him before, so I wasn’t risking much.”
“It’s a bit of a risk,” I point out, looking at my flowers. “I’m afraid he might do something shitty because you’re involved with me. He saw the flowers. Read the card. He wasn’t happy.”
“I don’t give a fuck if it has his panties in a twist,” Asher growls. “And if he’s got a problem with it, he needs to man up and come see me. But otherwise, I only care what you think.”
“Well,” I drawl in a sexy voice. “If you must know, receiving them was the highlight of my day. So thank you again.”
I’d already called him earlier when they were delivered. He didn’t pick up—probably in a meeting—so I hung up and sent a text thanking him instead. He texted me back, In a meeting, glad you liked.
I’d smiled, holding the phone and his words to my chest a moment. The ding of another text had me pulling it back.
More to come, he wrote.
I sighed like a swoony princess falling hard over her prince.
Or knight as the case may be.
“Are you going to be at the apartment in the morning when I get there?” I ask.
“Yeah, why?” he replies, no hiding the interest in his voice.
Lowering my voice, I purr into the phone. “Stay in bed and be naked, okay?”
His voice is gruff. “I can do that.”
“Good,” I say softly. “Because I intend to give you a really big thank you for what you did with Nelson and getting Hope back for me so quickly. I hope you can handle it.”
His husky laugh of appreciation tells me that oh yeah… he’s going to like it a lot.